In which Hinata suffers.
O-O-O-O-O
"You're supposed to hold it like this, ya know!"
"Look at the diagram again! I'm holding it the same way he is!"
"No you're not! In the picture it looks like this and you're holding it like this!"
"At least I have some idea of what I'm doing!"
"No, you don't! Or you'd listen to me! You should really ask Iruka-sensei for help, too, ya know!"
"I have my books! I don't need help!"
"Yeah you do!"
"No I don't!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
Their words turned physical as the two boys wrestled on the ground of the training arena.
Hinata sighed as she tuned out yet another one of their petty fights and focused on the wooden post in front of her. As fast as possible, she withdrew a collection of shuriken and threw. They hit half a centimeter off-target. She grimaced. It had been months since she had missed so many bullseyes.
She sighed again as she turned to frown at the two boys arguing in the cold slush.
On Monday afternoon, Sasuke had revealed his new weapon— a beautifully crafted practice wakizashi enclosed in an equally beautiful leather scabbard. The edge of the blade was blunted for practice matches, the handle soft from use. It was nearly as well-crafted as her father's ceremonial sword.
Where the sword came from, Hinata still did not know. When she had asked, Sasuke had blushed red, ducking his head and acting more sullen than usual. Meanwhile, Naruto had burst into so much hysterical laughter that he had been left in tears and out of breath.
Unable to get any information out of them, Hinata had resigned herself to never find out.
While at first Hinata had been excited for Sasuke, its acquisition had led to even more petty arguing than usual.
For the past three days, they had barely gotten any training done. Instead, Hinata had been forced to listen to Naruto telling Sasuke to ask for help. Meanwhile, Sasuke retorted by consulting one of his kenjutsu books taken from the closed-off Uchiha district. She had been mostly ignored since then, left to train on her own.
Frustrated, she walked toward the training post where her shuriken were embedded, inspecting them closely. To her surprise, the tips were red with rust.
I need to get them sharpened again.
She groaned as she placed her weapons back into her pouch. At least the store was on the way back to the Hyuuga compound.
Turning her attention back to her two companions, she realized they were still wrestling in the mud.
"Um, Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun?" Hinata walked toward the two boys at the center of the arena. To her relief, they paused long enough to stare up at her, Naruto with wide eyes and Sasuke with his usual frown.
"What is it?" Sasuke asked, using a forearm to wipe some of the mud away from his face.
Naruto took advantage of the temporary distraction to push Sasuke's face down.
Sasuke retaliated by twisting until Naruto was pinned under him again. Another wrestling fight ensued and Hinata had to suppress the urge to shout for them to stop. The fight ended with half of Naruto's face pressed into the mud while Sasuke sat pinned on top of his lower back.
"What were you saying, Hinata?" Sasuke asked, forehead dotted with sweat despite the winter chill.
"I'm going home a little early today," she answered. "My shuriken are a little rusty so I'll be passing by the store to get them cleaned and sharpened."
"Oh, okay." Naruto turned his head to grin up at her, half his face covered in mud. "See you tomorrow, then?"
"Yes, tomorrow," Sasuke added, applying more pressure on Naruto's back.
Hinata smiled. Despite her frustration, it was nice to have people that enjoyed her presence. "Tomorrow, Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun." She nodded politely at her two friends.
Sasuke returned her gesture with a nod of his own.
"Bye, Hinata-chan!" Naruto mumbled after her, his face still pressed into the mud.
With nothing else to say, Hinata left the training ground, activating her byakugan out of curiosity. Predictably, he saw Naruto wiggle free out of Sasuke's grip and kick him down.
She sighed, shaking her head and letting the Byakugan deactivate. Knowing her friends, they would eventually stop their arguing and return to their normal training and sparring schedule. But in the time it would take them to do that, she would be stuck in the middle.
I need more friends.
The thought formed a ball of uncertainty in her stomach. The tips of her fingertips pushed together against her will and she felt her gaze turn to the ground as she bit her lip.
Could Hinata make friends with anyone? Naruto had befriended her more than she had befriended him. And she had met Sasuke only because of Naruto.
The pit in her stomach grew as her feet carried her toward the weapon's shop. Her mother called her 'shy' and even Naruto had complained about her being too quiet. No one in her family except for Hanabi ever wanted to spend time with her. And the only time she spent with her father was during their training sessions. Her cousin Neji seemed to hold her in disdain as well.
What if...
Hinata shook her head as she headed toward the weapon store, determination coursing through her body. She might be quiet and shy, but she wasn't a coward. If Hinata wanted more friends, she was going to make them.
Determined, she walked to the center of Konoha, head held high. She would make new friends whatever the cost.
O-O-O-O-O
Despite her vow, talking to people was more intimidating than Hinata had anticipated.
Everyone in her class already had their own group of friends and she had no idea what to say to any of them. A few times, she tried to gather the courage to approach her classmates only to have second thoughts.
Unable to even meet the gaze of anyone new, Hinata followed Naruto and Sasuke as they broke for lunch.
"I'm telling you, you need a teacher!" Naruto placed his bento box on the grass, rehashing the same argument of the past few days. "You can't do everything on your own, ya know!"
"I don't need a teacher," Sasuke reiterated as he placed his own bento box on the ground. "I can do everything myself."
Naruto growled and pulled at his own hair. He opened his mouth to give a retort, but Hinata had already tuned him out. The boys had repeated the argument so many times, she could recite it from memory.
Silent, she began to eat, eyes glazed over as her friends argued. Would Naruto and Sasuke get angry if she made new friends? Somehow she doubted it.
Hinata finished her lunch having said nothing. With a sigh, she closed her bento box, eyes finally focusing on her two friends. How could they still be arguing about the sword? Whatever the case, she needed to do something.
"Um... Naruto-kun? Sasuke-kun?"
To her relief, the two boys stopped their petty squabbling to look at her. She noticed their meal was less than halfway finished.
"What is it, Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked, eyes bright and a smile on his lips.
"Oh, um..." Hinata cleared her throat, face warm. "I just need to use the restroom quickly. I'll be right back." She stood up, avoiding her friends' eyes.
"Okay! See ya!"
"Hn."
Hinata could almost imagine Naruto's thumbs up and Sasuke's cold indifference while she walked away. Why was it so embarrassing just to excuse herself?
Alone, she headed toward the nearest set of toilets, heading to the sink when she was done. Next to her was a girl with purple hair cropped into an asymmetrical bob washing her hands.
Hinata swallowed. She knew the other girl from their kunoichi classes— Ami. They had never spoken to each other in class beyond polite pleasantries. Hinata's heart pounded in her chest. Would Ami want to be friends with Hinata?
Ami gave Hinata a curious glance from the corner of her eye. Blushing again, Hinata realized she had been staring. She turned off the faucet and reached for a paper towel. Before she could embarrass herself any further, she turned and headed toward the exit.
"Wait, you're Hinata, right?" The other girl's voice stopped Hinata before she had taken more than a single step.
"Oh... um... yes?" Face red, Hinata forced herself to turn around. To her relief, the other girl gave her only a curious look.
"You're friends with Sasuke-kun, right?" Ami tilted her head. A hint of some strange emotion flashed through her eyes but it vanished before Hinata could truly process it.
"Um..." The tips of Hinata's fingertips pushed each other against her will and her face became warmer. "Yeah. He's..." she swallowed. "He's my friend."
"Oh! I see!" Ami grinned, taking a step forward toward Hinata. "And what's he like?"
Arrogant. Stubborn. Impulsive. Sullen. Idiotic.
But Hinata couldn't say any of that, so she bit her tongue before answering. "He's a good friend."
The same strange emotion flashed through Ami's eyes but was gone an instant after. "Well, you seem like a cool girl," Ami said, smile widening.
"Oh! Um... thank you." Hinata shuffled her feet, face burning. Did Ami really think Hinata was a cool person? Only Hanabi and Naruto had ever called her cool. "Y-you seem like a cool person, too, Ami-san." Hinata licked her lips. Had her chance come to make a new friend? "And... um... well..."
"Hm?" Ami tilted her head, an eyebrow raised as she stared at Hinata.
"Um... I was..." Hinata took a deep breath in and out to gather her courage. Emboldened, she clenched her hands into fists and looked at Ami directly in the eye. "I was wondering if you would be willing to be my friend."
Silence settled in the restroom and she could hear the pounding of her pulse in her ears. Time froze as Hinata waited with bated breath for Ami's reply.
For her part, Ami only gaped at her, eyes wide. After a moment that felt like forever, her mouth broke into a smile and she placed a hand on Hinata's shoulder.
"Sure! We can be friends!" Her grin widened to show off her teeth. "Do you wanna hang out after school today?"
"T-today?" Hinata faltered.
Every day after class, she and the boys headed to the training center together. It had become a tradition and Hinata had no wish to break it. But then again... Ever since getting that sword, Naruto and Sasuke were nearly impossible to train with. Would it be so bad if Hinata spent just one afternoon with someone else instead?
Determined, Hinata nodded. "Today is good."
Ami's grin widened and more of her teeth became visible. "Good. I wanna introduce you to my friends too." She reached over to squeeze Hinata's shoulder. "Do you know the convenience store close to the school?"
"The one next to the dango store?"
The other girl nodded. "Yup, that one. I'll meet you there after school." With one last squeeze on Hinata's shoulder and a wave, Ami walked past her and left.
Hinata stood in the center of the room as she processed everything that had happened. Did I... did I really make new friends? That was easier than I thought.
She stared at the closed door for a moment more coming to her senses. With a shake of her head, she left the restroom and headed back to where Naruto and Sasuke were still sitting. To no one's surprise, they were still arguing.
"Oh! Hinata-chan!" Naruto paused his argument long enough to grin at her. "You were gone a while. Did everything come out all right?"
"Yup!" Hinata nodded, a grin on her face.
"Oh!" Naruto's eyes widened. "Well, I guess it makes sense, you were gone for a while."
Hinata chuckled, one hand over her mouth as she smiled at her friends. "Well, when I was in the restroom—"
Sasuke cleared his throat, face red as he turned away. Next to him, Naruto giggled, one eyebrow raised as he looked at her. Realization hit her like a ton of bricks and blood rushed to her face.
"Naruto!" Hinata whined.
Naruto's giggles turned into full blown laughter. Next to her, Sasuke bit his lip as he suppressed his own giggles. Hinata hid her face inside the palms of her hands. She really needed to make new friends.
O-O-O-O-O
Sakura ran down her mental shopping list as she headed to the convenience store. She had been assigned the all important task of buying snacks while Ino raided her family's pantry for spa ingredients.
As she walked, she hummed a simple tune to herself, already excited for their night in together. With the late winter chill, there was nothing better than soaking in the bath with a face mask on.
A flash of a familiar purple bob caught Sakura's attention and she jumped behind a street lamp. While nowadays Ami never bullied her aside from catty quips and angry glares, Sakura still avoided her, especially without Ino there.
Cautious, she peered over the edge of the post.
To her relief, Ami failed to notice her. Walking purposefully, she entered one of the many alleyways that composed Konoha. She didn't see me after all.
Sakura was ready to continue to the store when she saw the other girl. Hinata, face pink and fingers twiddling, walked a short distance behind Ami. Her face was flushed and she nodded at whatever Ami was saying. She entered the alleyway too.
Sakura let out a sigh of relief as the girls vanished from her view. She was almost ready to leave when realization hit and the blood drained from her face.
Hinata was a nice, quiet, and shy girl— the antithesis of Ami. Why would the two spend any time together by choice? That could only mean...
Quest for snacks forgotten, Sakura spun around and sprinted toward the Yamanaka flower shop. She was too weak to pose a threat to Ami, but Ino was strong. The strongest girl Sakura knew. If anyone had a chance to stop Ami, it was Ino.
"I-Ino!" Sakura burst inside the flower shop, her eyes scanning frantically through the flowers in search of her friend.
"Sakura?" Ino placed a potted herb on the counter. A concerned frown already on her face, she walked toward Sakura. "What is it? Did something happen?"
"A-ah—" Sakura placed a hand on one knee and the other on her side as she panted, winded despite the short length of her run.
"Ah?" Ino placed one hand on her shoulder, squatting down until they were eye to eye.
"Ami is—" She gulped and forced herself to speak.
"Ami?" Without waiting for an explanation, Ino was already at the door.
Sakura tagged along in her shadow. "Ami is talking to Hinata-san!" she forced herself to say as she jogged after Ino. "I don't think Hinata-san was forced but—"
"Which way?" Ino kicked the main door open and checked both street sides.
"Close to the convenience store," Sakura gasped. "It's by—"
Ino nodded as she quickened her pace, sprinting down the street so fast that Sakura struggled to keep up. She made a mental note to start running more often.
A few passerby gave them curious looks but the girls ignored them. They had more important things to worry about.
As they neared the store, Ino slowed to talk to Sakura again."Now where, Sakura-chan?" Her voice was filled with righteous vengeance.
"Th-that w-way," Sakura forced her hand to rise and point down the alleyway. "I-I—"
Ino broke out into a full sprint again. Sakura cursed her body but followed after her friend anyway.
The alleyway became darker and more desolate as they made their way down. Sakura's stomach roiled with anxiety and worry for Hinata. Hinata was very strong to the point of rivaling Ino, but if Ami brought reinforcements...
Sakura dug into her energy reserves to chase after Ino, panting all the while.
"Sasuke-kun doesn't like fake people like you!"
The sounds of Hinata's voice further down the alleyway made the two girls pause. They shared worried glances. Ami would never accept those kinds of words without a fight. Predictably, the sound of incoherent yelling and fists hitting flesh followed.
Ino gasped before picking up more speed, more desperate than before. Sakura stumbled after her.
Seconds later, Ino entered the source of the fighting, fists held out in front of her. Aside from a bead of sweat on her forehead, there were no hints of exhaustion in her face.
Sakura arrived a moment after, face flushed and lungs , she crouched down behind Ino, hands on her knees as her brain absorbed the scene in front of her.
In the small area behind a seafood restaurant, Hinata stood in a taijutsu stance. Her arms were raised, white eyes bulged out. The groaning bodies of Ami and her gang surrounded the girl in a halo of violence.
Despite being outnumbered Hinata had managed to defeat Ami and the rest of her friends. Sakura gasped at the display. And I thought Ino was strong.
"Hi-Hinata?" Ino lowered her arms and took a tentative step closer.
Hinata spun to glare at Sakura and Ino, sinking deeper into a taijutsu stance. "What do you want?"
Ino took another step forward, making Hinata tense at the closing distance. Sakura could only pant, wide eyes gaping at the girl standing on the other side of the alley.
"What do you want with me?" the black-haired girl asked, hands raised and ready for battle. "You wanna fight, too? I've beaten you before! Don't think I can't defend myself, ya know!"
"I...uh..." Ino paused, the palms of her hands open and up at her chest. "We're not here to fight. It's just that—" she glanced at Sakura, who was still trying to recover her breath. "It's just that Sakura-chan saw you going with Ami and got—"
But before Ino could explain anything else, Ami managed to stand up on her own by leaning on the dirty alley wall. When she saw Ino, her face paled and she squatted down to shake her friends awake.
"Wake up, idiots! The pig is here!"
Moaning in pain, Ami's friends stumbled up. Together, they fled, not bothering to look back once.
With the other girls gone, Hinata glared back at Ino and Sakura, still in her taijutsu stance. "I don't know what you and Ami have to do with each other but I'm not going to be intimidated, Ino-san," she threatened.
Ino shook her head, once again taking a step forward. "Sakura-chan saw you together with Ami and thought you might be in trouble," she explained. "And because Ami's a jerk, we decided to come and help you. Though..." she stared at a scarf covered in sludge one of the girls had left. "I guess you handled it well enough yourself."
Hinata's hands remained in front of her chest but her eyes returned to normal. She nodded.
Sakura, her breath finally back to some semblance of control, spoke for the first time. "I was walking to the convenience store and I saw Ami taking you down the alleyway," she said. "I got worried that they were going to do something to you, so I ran to get Ino-chan. Are you okay?"
Hinata nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm... just disappointed, I guess." For the first time since their arrival, Hinata's expression faltered. Her defensive taijutsu position dropped and her eyes became bright with tears.
Ino took a tentative step forward. "Disappointed? How come?"
Sakura rushed to her friend's side.
"It's just..." Hinata pushed the tips of her index fingers together. "It's just that I thought Ami wanted to be my friend."
In an instant, Sakura remembered the same pain she had felt before Ino had taken her under her wing. Lonely and unwanted. Too shy to even attempt to make friends on her own.
Ino and Sakura exchanged knowing looks before turning their attention back to Hinata.
"Well, you wouldn't want to be friends with Ami anyway," Ino said. "She's like a dog that's too stupid to know when it's being annoying. In other words, she's a total bitch. Her friends are no better."
Sakura nodded in agreement, clenching her hands into fists. She stared into Hinata's eyes with a determined frown.
"Well, if you want, we can be friends," Sakura offered, extending her hand out. She felt her face growing warm.
"Yeah! Sakura-chan and I can be your friends!" Ino grinned, showing off her teeth, a small gap in the middle. "We're better than Ami, at least."
Hinata's face turned red at Sakura and Ino's declaration and her fingers pushed against each other more insistently than before. "Oh... uh... Sure." Despite her posture, there was a hint of a smile on her lips.
"Ino and I were gonna have a sleepover later," Sakura continued. "You can come with us if you want. Her family's really nice."
Hinata looked up from her feet. "Oh, thank you for the offer," she said, biting her lip. "But I can't."
Sakura felt a weight settle into her stomach as she pasted a fake smile on her face. At her side, Ino did the same.
"Oh, I see," Ino said through her fake smile.
Hinata only looked more embarrassed than before.
She raised her hands up, waving them in front of herself in denial. "Oh! It's not that I don't want to spend time with you!" she explained. "It's just that my father is very strict so I have to tell him if I'm going somewhere new. I... uh... I can spend a little bit of time with you two. Just... not overnight."
"Oh! That's okay, then!" Ino's expression transformed into one of relief and her smile became sincere again. "In that case, do you want to ask your father to spend the night with us? Maybe tomorrow?"
After a short moment of consideration, Hinata nodded. "Yes, I think so," she said. "I will ask my Mother and Father for permission for you two to visit our clan compound as well. It should not be an issue since you are both girls."
Ino and Sakura cheered at the same time, staring at her with wide and excited eyes.
"That's great, Hinata-chan!" Sakura said. "You were so good during the last kunoichi class, too! You were really really good at using the makeup they gave us!"
"Hey! Are you saying I was bad at it?" Ino retorted in a fake-angry tone.
Sakura giggled. "You said it, not me!"
Ino rolled her eyes. "Anyway, we should get out of here. It's not the nicest place."
Looking around, Sakura agreed with her assessment. With the tension from before gone, the smell of rotting seafood was almost overwhelming.
"Yes, I think we should," Sakura agreed as she pinched her nose.
"Yes, Ino-san, Sakura-san." Hinata gave them a polite nod, a smile appearing on her lips. "I have to return home soon, but I can spend an hour or two beforehand. If..." she blushed again. "If you don't mind."
Sakura shook her head. "Of course not, Hinata-chan! Oh! Do you want to come with us to the convenience store? We still need to buy some snacks and things."
Hinata bit her lip and nodded. "Sure."
Ino grinned. "Then let's go! I want chocolate!" She shouted as she led the way out.
With a giggle from Sakura and a tentative smile from Hinata, the three of them headed out together.
O-O-O-O-O
Harusame watched his two wards as they ate their dinner. With perfect grace, Kimimaro lifted his chopsticks to his mouth and chewed. On the opposite side, Utakata did the same, an uncharacteristic tension on his shoulders.
Harusame frowned to himself as he tried to make sense of Utakata's mood for the past week. Had something happened between them?
After all, Kimimaro had burst into desperate tears as soon as Harusame had stepped foot in the hospital room. With calm reassurances and pats on the head, Harusame had managed to calm the boy down until he had fallen asleep in Harusame's arms.
Soon after, Utakata had whispered to him that Kimimaro was simply disappointed about his performance in the final matches. At the time, Harusame had accepted his words. And while Kimimaro had returned to his normal, stoic self when he woke up, Utakata had become out of sorts.
Had something happened while Harusame was eating dinner with the Hokage and the Mizukage? Had one of them said anything to harm their relationship? Or was it related to the boy losing the final match against one of his own teammates? There was only one way to find out.
Harusame cleared his throat. "Are you looking forward to getting your results about the promotion, Kimimaro-kun?"
The boy turned to him with a familiar, solemn look on his face. "I suppose." He took a bite of rice, chewing thoughtfully before swallowing. "I believe Utakata-sensei said it would take a few more days before receiving our results."
Harusame nodded. "Yes. And I think you have a good chance of obtaining the rank of chuunin. All three members of your team do." He smiled again. "Although I want you to know that even if you don't, I'm very proud of you."
Predictably, Kimimaro blushed and he stared down at his bowl of rice, giving Harusame a polite bow. "Thank you, sensei."
"And you, Utakata-kun?" Harusame turned his attention back to Utakata. "Do you think Kimimaro will get promoted?"
"I think the possibility is high," the older boy answered, his tone even. So he's not worried about the promotion results.
"What will you do once all your students have been promoted, Utakata-kun?" Harusame prodded. "I'm sure it will happen sooner or later."
At that, Utakata frowned before staring at Kimimaro. The younger boy avoided his teacher's eyes, busying himself by shifting his chopsticks through his bowl of rice.
Utakata stared at the boy for a brief moment longer before answering. "I will do what's best for my students," he eventually answered. "And I will see what they want in terms of my involvement in their lives as shinobi of Kirigakure."
So he wants Kimimaro to stay with us but doesn't want to say it out loud.
Harusame sighed before turning his attention back to the white-haired boy. "And you, Kimimaro-kun? Do you have any plans for what you will do if and when you receive your promotion? A lot of shinobi end up deciding to live on their own upon obtaining the level of chuunin."
The boy's eyes widened and a frown formed on his face. It was clear he hadn't made any plans yet.
"I'm not sure, sensei," the younger boy confessed. "I haven't thought about it. I will..." he glanced at Utakata and swallowed. "I will do whatever sensei thinks is best."
Harusame suppressed a sigh. Why were his wards so bad at communicating? "You will always have a home here, Kimimaro," he said. "If you wish, you may continue to live here, same as Utakata did. I will never turn you away."
A naked look of relief crossed the boy's face and he bowed again. "Thank you, sensei." He placed his bowl and chopsticks down on the table. "I..." He gulped. "I really appreciate all that you have done for me, Harusame-sensei, Utakata-sensei."
"It was the least we could do," Harusame replied.
Utakata said nothing, only grunting as he placed another piece of eel in his mouth.
Harusame frowned. Whatever issue Utakata had, he still could not figure it out. But at least Kimimaro had been reassured.
Harusame continued his meal, vowing to talk to Kimimaro alone after dinner.
O-O-O-O-O
"Kimimaro-kun?"
"Sensei?" The white-haired boy sat at the low table inside his bedroom. Blinking at Harusame, he looked up from the workbook he had been filling out, pencil in hand.
"Can we speak?" Harusame asked, already kneeling at the low table next to Kimimaro.
"Of course, sensei." The boy placed his pencil down, his full attention on the older man. "What would you like to talk about?"
Harusame stared at the boy, considering how best to articulate his thoughts.
"It's about the day of the chuunin finals exams," he eventually said. "And your reaction when Utataka-kun and I arrived in your hospital room."
"Oh." Kimimaro flinched, frowning down at the table surface, a pink tint on his cheeks. "I... I'm so—"
"There's nothing to say sorry for, Kimimaro-kun." Harusame placed a hand on the boy's head before he could apologize. "I know you were very overwhelmed and disappointed with everything that happened. It's fine to cry whenever you feel like that."
Kimimaro's face turned a deeper shade of red but he nodded in reluctant agreement, still avoiding Harusame's gaze. "I know, sensei. You... you told me."
"And I'll tell you again if I have to."
Kimimaro nodded again, eyes trained on his workbook but reading nothing. There was a hint of a smile on his lips. "Is that all, sensei?"
"There is one more thing," Harusame admitted. "I've noticed Utakata-kun has been a bit... out of sorts recently."
The boy's embarrassed expression became contemplative. "I've noticed it too, sensei. Do you think—"
"I don't think he's disappointed with you," the man said before Kimimaro could finish his question. "Although I think it's possible something happened between you two to make him act like that. Could you help me figure it out?"
Kimimaro nodded, a determined glint in his eyes. "Of course, sensei."
Harusame hummed. "Can you tell me what you and Utakata-kun talked about while I was accompanying the Mizukage? Leave no detail out. What happened after you woke up?"
"Well, when I woke up, I was in the hospital room," he began. "Utakata-sensei was there and he asked me how I was. But I—" Kimimaro blushed, his hands clenched into fists over his lap. "But I couldn't talk and when he tried to get the doctor, I started to..." he swallowed. "I started to cry," he admitted.
"And what did Utakata-kun say to you then?" Harusame's heart began beating faster. Was Utakata disappointed in himself for being unable to reassure the boy?
Kimimaro's face turned a deeper shade of red and he fidgeted in place. "First he told me I should stop crying." He swallowed. "But when I couldn't, he said it was okay to cry and he... he hugged me."
"I see." Harusame frowned to himself. So far it seemed like a decent way to comfort a crying boy. For Utakata and least. "And then what happened?"
Kimimaro's entire body seemed to turn red then and his hands began to fidget over his lap in embarrassment. He shrugged. "He just said a few things," he mumbled.
"Things?"
"He asked if I wanted water. And then when I said yes, he asked me if I was hungry." A thoughtful frown appeared on his brow. "And when I said I was just a little hungry, he told me that he knew I was actually quite hungry.."
"Were you?"
The boy nodded. "And when I asked how he knew he said it was because he knew me."
"Is that all?" Harusame tried to hide his growing disappointment. How could any of that be responsible for Utakata's moodiness?
"Well..." Kimimaro's frown deepened as he tried to remember more. "When I asked Utakata-sensei why he knew me so well, he told me that he loved me."
"Utakata-kun did?" Harusame's eyes widened. His student had said that? Of his own volition?
Kimimaro nodded, his embarrassed blush replaced by a confused frown. "He did."
"And what did you say back?" Harusame's pulse pounded in his ears. Was Utakata finally learning how to talk about his feelings? About time.
"I said 'okay,'" Kimimaro admitted with a shrug.
In an instant, Utakata's sour mood for the past few days made sense. To be rejected like that...
"I see." Harusame was unsure if he wanted to laugh or to cry. "Did he say anything else after that?"
"He only asked me if I wanted oden for dinner."
"Is that all?"
Kimimaro nodded. "And then he sent a clone to get dinner. You arrived soon after that, sensei."
"Yes, I remember the rest." Harusame forced a smile onto his face. "So Utakata-kun comforted you while you were still recovering in the hospital?"
Kimimaro nodded. "Yes. I was..." his face turned pink again. "I was crying onto his shoulder at the time so I was unsure how best to respond."
"I see." Harusame sighed as he turned his attention to the wall. Harusame sighed. How was he going to fix the situation now? He had thought Kimimaro cared about Utakata as well but—
"There's something I don't understand, sensei," Kimimaro admitted, interrupting Harusame's thoughts.
"Hm?" Harusame placed his hands over his lap as he stared down at the boy next to him. "What is it?"
"It's about what Utakata-sensei said. It's about a word I've heard before but I don't really know what it means."
"A word you don't know?" Harusame raised an eyebrow. Was it something obscure that a threadbare education had never taught?
"Yes." The boy nodded, wide, innocent eyes meeting his own. "What is 'love'?"
Harusame blinked, mouth dropping open in shock.
The boy's eyes were full of so much honest confusion that it hurt Harusame in a way he had not expected. He knew better than most how difficult and loveless Kimimaro's life had been in the Kaguya clan. Even by Kirigakure standards, they had a reputation of violence and abuse.
Still... to not even know what love is? Although it at least explained Utakata's mood.
"Love is..." Harusame began before realizing he had no idea how to answer. "Well... it's a simple idea but a bit difficult to define," he admitted. "But I guess if I had to explain it, it's caring about someone a lot. And when you want that person to be happy."
"Happy?"
Harusame nodded. "And for that person to be safe and have all their needs met. And you want them to laugh and smile as much as possible."
The boy hummed as he absorbed the older man's words. "I see."
"And there are different kinds of love and different ways to show one's love," Harusame continued. "There's romantic love, the thing that happens between lovers. Lovers usually show their love with tender gestures like kissing, holding hands, and— well, don't worry about that for now." Harusame shook his head, making a mental note to have a more in-depth conversation on that subject later.
"And then there's the love you have with people who are your family, platonic love. Between parents and children and siblings. And love between friends and teammates." Harusame paused to think of anything else to say. "And perhaps the type of love you would have for people of your country."
Was there anything else Harusame was missing? He shook his head. He could explain a lot more of the nuance later.
"There are many different types of love and ways to show it," he concluded. "But the main thing to remember is that love means caring about the well-being and happiness of another person."
"Oh, I see." Kimimaro's confused frown disappeared, replaced with a thoughtful expression. "I suppose that explains a few things," he mumbled to himself before turning to meet Harusame's eyes. "In that case, I love you a lot, Harusame-sensei. Utakata-sensei, too."
Harusame blinked down at the boy. It had taken Kimimaro a lot less time than expected to understand.
"That..." He swallowed. "Well, I love you too, Kimimaro-kun." He placed a hand on the boy's head, earning a shy smile. "And I think we figured out why Utakata-kun has been a bit out of sorts recently."
"We have?" A frown formed on the boy's forehead again.
"We have." Harusame nodded. "Utakata might have been expecting you to say something other than 'okay' that time."
"Oh!" Kimimaro's eyes widened in understanding. "So Utakata-sensei is upset because he thinks I don't care about him?"
Harusame nodded. "Seems like it."
"I see." Kimimaro turned his attention to the open workbook in front of him, staring but not reading. "So should I tell him I love him then?"
"If you want." Harusame patted the top of the boy's head again. "I'm sure Utakata-kun would appreciate it."
Kimimaro hummed before bowing his head. "Then I will."
"That's good." Harusame sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Kimimaro-kun. I know you don't have missions until after you get your results, but please try not to stay up too late studying." He shifted, ready to stand up and leave the boy's side.
"Wait, sensei?" The boy's voice came out unsure as he blinked at the older man. "You said that people show their love in different ways, right?"
"I did."
The boy bit his lip, seeming to consider whether he truly wanted to ask his next question or not. "Can I get a hug before you go to bed, sensei?"
Harusame stared at the boy, eyes open wide in a combination of sadness and warmth. Why was the boy so unsure asking for such a simple request? As if a hug before bed was a monumental favor to ask for.
"Of course." Harusame struggled to keep his voice clear and even.
Without waiting for Kimimaro, he leaned over, putting his arms around Kimimaro and squeezing tight. The boy reciprocated, hesitant at first as he sought comfort.
It took only a few seconds, Kimimaro breaking the embrace first with a red face. But despite the embarrassment, his happiness was impossible to ignore.
Harusame stood up with a sigh, patting the boy's head. "Good night, Kimimaro-kun. Sleep well."
"Good night, Harusame-sensei." Kimimaro turned his attention back to the workbook in front of him, although his eyes were unfocused.
"Make sure to go to bed early," Harusame reiterated.
"I will, sensei." Still not looking at Harusame, Kimimaro bit his lip and glared at his open workbook.
With one final hum and one final pat on the head, Harusame stood and walked away. As he left, he watched Kimimaro from the corner of his eye. There was definitely a smile on the boy's face.
A smile tugged at Harusame's own lips as he left the room and headed to bed.
O-O-O-O-O
Gaara bit his tongue as he squinted at the sketch in front of him.
The lines were rough and the proportions off, but it was still much better than his first attempt. Frowning, he erased part of the drawing before trying again.
Earlier, he had arrived in the Room to find Yugito playing a shamisen while Utakata lay on the ground and stared at the domed ceiling. Having returned in the night from a mission with Baki and his siblings, Fuu and Naruto had already gone to sleep.
Saying little, the three of them had exchanged greetings before turning to their respective activities. Yugito practiced her shamisen skills, humming under her breath while Ukata groaned on the floor with his forearms over his eyes.
Not wanting to bother the two older jinchuuriki, Gaara had summoned a sketchbook and a few pencils as he drew Utakata. After looking through thousands of his plant sketches, Temari had asked if he knew how to draw people. Since then, he'd made it a personal goal to learn.
But... Why are people so hard to draw?
"How's the drawing going, kid?" Yugito asked as she plucked the strings of her shamisen in a simple melody. "Captured the essence of despair?" She gestured with her head at Utakata on the floor.
Gaara shook his head, standing up and walking closer to show her the sketch. "It's better than before," he admitted. "But not as good as I'd like."
"Oh?" Yugito paused her playing to take the sketchbook gently in her hands. She smiled when she saw what he had done. "Hey! This is pretty good! Almost wish I had a copy that I could put on the fridge in my apartment."
Gaara felt his whole body become warm at the compliment and he smiled at Yugito. "Thank you, nee-san."
"Way better than I ever could, at least!" She reached one hand to ruffle his hair. "Well, do you have a name for your drawing?"
Gaara shrugged. "Utakata on the Floor?"
Yugito shook her head. "Give it a more artistic name," she suggested. "Like Teenage Despair or Puberty in Effect."
From a small distance away, Utakata groaned louder, taking his forearms away from his face. He turned his head to glare at them. "Can you two please be quiet? I'm trying to mope."
Gaara bit his lip and frowned, turning his attention from Utakata to Yugito and back again. Had he done something wrong?
Yugito raised one eyebrow and snorted before turning back to Gaara. "He's just grumpy because he's not in Konoha anymore," she explained. "Or maybe he's just a moody teenager. Who knows what I was like at that age."
"I'm not a moody teenager," Utakata argued, placing his forearms over his face again. "I'm an adult."
"Well, how old are you?" Yugito returned the drawing back to Gaara's hands and moved her fingers toward her instrument.
"Eighteen," Utakata mumbled into his arms.
"And what's the word that comes after eight."
Utakata was silent for a moment before answering. "Teen."
"And how is your mood right now? And how has it been for the past week?"
Utakata said nothing.
Yugito nodded emphatically. "Exactly." She began to play a simple melody again.
Past week? Gaara frowned. While the adults had already explained the hormonal changes related to growing up, they had never said it would lead to week-long moping stints. Was that in his future, too?
Gaara placed the drawing on the floor next to Yugito. He headed toward Utakata and squatted at his side. "Are you okay, nii-san?"
Utakata pulled his arms back long enough to stare at Gaara before covering his face again. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Gaara."
Yugito snorted, her fingers dancing to produce a more upbeat tune. "He's upset about his student losing at the finals," she told Gaara before focusing her attention on Utakata. "I know you're moody, but this is too much. Train more with your student if you're so worried about falling behind."
"Losing?" Yugito's words seemed to have struck a nerve because Utakata uncovered his face and glared at her. "I'm not upset about him losing a fight. Kasumi is my student too and I'm proud of her performance."
Yugito grunted, changing the tempo to produce a quiet, more somber song. "Well if it's not about the finals, what is it about?"
Utakata bit his lip. He glanced at Gaara before turning his head to stare at the domed ceiling. "Do you remember what we talked about before the chuunin exams started, Yugito?" He spread his arms out the same way Yagura liked to do.
"You mean on New Year's Day?"
"New Year's Day?" Gaara asked, gaze turning from Yugito to Utakata and back again. All the jinchuuriki had met for a celebration inside the Room but not much else.
"We stayed behind to train a little after everyone else left," Yugito explained when she saw his blank look.
Utakata grunted in assent. "Yeah. I was a bit... out of sorts back then," he admitted. "Since we had only recently arrived in Konohagakure. It was... uncertain what would transpire during the chuunin exams."
"I see." Gaara looked down at Utakata again. "So you and Yugito nee-san talked?"
"Utakata was worried about his students," Yugito continued, plucking the strings with perfect precision. "Because it was a very uncertain situation, I recommended that he tell his students that he loved them. Thought it might inspire them to be careful. "
Utakata grunted again, his face becoming pink at the discussion. "Yeah." He paused to gather his thoughts. "Well, I wasn't able to do that. But after the exams were over and Kimimaro had lost I... I talked to him. About how I cared for him and how..." He swallowed, avoiding Gaara's gaze as his face became red. "How I loved him."
Yugito paused her playing long enough to raise an eyebrow and stare at Utakata. "Oh? And what did he say in return?"
Utakata sighed and hid his face again. "He just said okay," he mumbled behind his sleeves. "And he hasn't brought it up since then."
Gaara winced and placed a hand on top of Utakata's head. Roshi did that whenever he was upset and he hoped it helped Utakata too.
Utakata's fingers parted enough to blink up at Gaara. "Thanks."
Gaara smiled, patting the young man's head again. "You're welcome, nii-san."
Yugito sighed. "Well, I don't know your kid that well." She resumed playing. "But based on what you've said before, he didn't have the happiest of childhoods. Which is saying something, considering—"
Utakata groaned. "I know that! But... I would have thought... Or maybe..." He sighed again. "I should give him time to figure out how he feels about me. He's still just a child. A smart and prodigious child, but a child nonetheless. Maybe I'm expecting too much of him."
"Maybe." Yugito shrugged and changed the song back to an upbeat tune. "Or maybe you just need to put on your big boy pants and have an honest conversation with him. He won't know what you truly mean until you explain it."
Yugito hummed a short melody before speaking again. "You can't expect anyone to read your mind to learn your true feelings," she said. "Communication is best."
Gaara nodded emphatically. "If you really love someone you should say it, right, nee-san?"
"I hate how right you are," Utakata glared at Yugito before turning his attention over to Gaara. "Both of you."
Yugito smirked, eyes closed as she played her instrument.
"Fuu nee-san says that if you love someone you should say it." Gaara patted the top of Utakata's head again. "I love you, Utakata nii-san."
Utakata's eyes became soft and he smiled. "And I love you too, Gaara. You're a cute kid."
Gaara grinned, feeling his heart grow warm. "Thanks."
Utakata glanced at Yugito before turning his face to stare in the opposite direction. He frowned, face becoming pink again. "And I guess I love you too, Yugito," he mumbled, unable to meet her eyes. "Even if you're a bit of a know-it-all at times."
Yugito's fingers froze over the strings of her shamisen. Blinking, she stared at Utakata for a moment before smirking. "And I think of you as the little brother that's marginally less annoying than Samui's."
"Thanks." Utakata grunted before sitting up. "I guess." He yawned, stretching his arms over his head. "Though based on what you've told me about that boy, that's barely a compliment." He scratched the back of his neck.
Yugito laughed at that, placing her instrument on the floor next to Gaara's drawing. She rested a cheek inside the palm of her hand. "Well, what can I say, teenagers are the worst."
"In a year and a half I won't be a teenager anymore," Utakata retorted. He stood up with a long stretch and a yawn before placing a hand on top of Gaara's head.
"And in less than a year Fuu will join the moody teenagers club," Yugito said. "Then Gaara and then Naruto. And for a while we'll have three moody teenagers to deal with." She winked at Gaara.
"Whatever will we do with three moody teenagers?" Utakata drawled as he shook his head. "Might as well stop coming here at that point."
Yugito snorted and patted the spaces next to her. Obediently, Gaara and Utakata walked toward her.
Gaara pulled the sketchbook over his lap as he continued to draw while leaning on Yugito's side. Nearby, Utakata lay on the floor, staring up at the fuuinjutsu patterns inscribed on the domed ceiling. Humming a melody to herself, Yugito picked her shamisen back up and began to play.
Silent but for the music, they sat together, each lost in their own world.
O-O-O-O-O
A/N: All of Naruto's friends start adopting his verbal tic. It's only a matter of time.
IMPORTANT: The next update will be for "Two Doors to the Right" since it's not critical for the plot of "Through Your Door." It'll be about the Konoha kids and their friendships.
Morket is the best beta reader anyone could ever ask for and I'd be really lost without his help. Sorry it took so long to get through the edits and post this.
For the people that predicted the name of the chapter, I'm glad I'm so obvious.
Next chapter: Conversations.