AN – Chapter 4 in which shrimp are consumed, and the action is off screen.

-Sizzling Shrimp-

"'An evening with Morgan' will begin at 7:00 sharp. Bring your 'a' game." Morgan turned to Chuck. "Love ya, pal."

"An Evening of Morgan?" Sarah asked slowly.

"Okay, so here's the thing. He's my best friend, and I haven't really gotten to spend any time with him or Ellie this week, and so he really wanted the whole bunch of us to hang out tonight." Chuck replied in a placating tone.

Sara cocked her head to the side, "For an Evening of Morgan?" She couldn't quite keep the doubt out of her voice. I mean, Chuck will be there, so it can't be that bad.

"I thought being stationed in the Khyber pass for six months was brutal." Casey muttered as he stopped at the desk and picked up the Chinese food menu with some interest.

Chuck said, in a surprisingly dry tone, "If you're so sad about not being included, Casey, you can just say so."

Casey snorted. "Dinner with you two and Morgan? I'd rather Afghani warlords bleed me from my liver." Then he took the dolly he'd been holding and walked off.

Sarah and Chuck watched him walk away and then looked at each other. Sarah took a drink from her soda.

"He's a happy person. I appreciate that about him – and he works hard, so…" Chuck trailed off and they started laughing.

Sarah shook her head, then reached out and tugged Chuck to his feet using his tie. "C'mon. I need to talk to you." She led him around the counter and towards the back of the store. As was normal, few people were paying any attention to them. Outside of a leer from Jeff, no one else seemed to see them. She let go of Chuck's tie and turned around to keep watch while he opened a door to the rear stocking area.

"OK, looks clear back here." Chuck said quietly and she nodded and turned to follow him in.

The door closed, latched. She felt herself pulled in between two large pallets of appliances, and then into a tight embrace. She tilted her face up to him and kissed him, considerably more enthusiastically than she would have in public.. She felt his hand sliding towards a place which would probably lead to them 'christening' the boxes she was leaning against and she pushed him back.

"Chuck, hold up. First, we'd probably have someone walk in on us. Or Jeff and Lester would tape it. Then I'd blow my cover by killing them. And second, I think I have some news on our… personal situation." she said, pausing to catch her breath. "Want to do another overnight?"

"How about you stay over at my place? I think Ellie is starting to hint that its odd you never stay." Chuck replied, stepping back and taking a deep breath. "This cover/not cover thing is weird."

"I know, but we have to watch it where there's surveillance." she thought for a moment. "Probably a good idea though. It matches the 'cover' requirements and maybe I can fudge the cameras." she looked at him. "Or we can just restrain ourselves?"

"I'll have you know that I am a paragon of self control and can be relied upon to behave as a perfect gentleman." he replied, with a sniff.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Really, so if I wear that blue top with the white buttons, a skirt, and bring the new purple negligee…"

"You will find that I am still human and cannot be held responsible for my actions under such extraordinary circumstances." he replied.

"You're saying I should pack the black one too?"

"Of course."

-After Ellie is left with Morgan and all the shrimp.-

Later, after the screwed up night's events, they slipped in through his window. It was well past midnight, and sleep needed to happen soon, so Sarah undressed and slipped one of Chuck's old Stanford shirts on. Otherwise we'll never get to the talking. He came back into the room with two waters and set them on the desk, then turned and looked her up and down. She obliged with a pose.

"That shirt definitely looks better on you than me." Chuck said finally, before flopping back onto the bed.

Sarah smiled. Despite often using the corniest of lines, Chuck never came off at creepy to he. Just… honest. She realized she'd never felt in the slightest bit dirty when he looked at her. Simply wanted, desired. Loved maybe? It certainly was a warm, safe feeling every time when he looked at her like that. Is that what's going on here, or am I just seeing what I hope for?

"So, I've got the surveillance blocked for the evening, I think its time I brought you up to speed." she said, then sat cross legged on the end of the bed.

She relayed the gist of her conversation with Casey to Chuck, glossing over her not so subtle threat. Chuck looked worried.

"So you think Casey will help then?" he asked finally.

"I think there's a good chance. And there's a better chance if we keep up solid work as a team." she replied.

Chuck nodded. "Well, I've seen the people we've stopped so far. Its worth doing, even if it terrifies me sometimes. Especially the risks you guys take."

"It terrifies me. And not what I do." she sighed affectionately, punching his leg. "I've been trained to deal with it."

"I don't try to get into trouble, Sarah. It just sort of… happens?" he shrugged helplessly. "Like with the restaurant, I don't know what it is. Spies just pop out of nowhere all around me."

"Well, try to stay out of it if you can? Please?" she smiled. "I've gotten used to this, kinda want to see where it goes."

"'gotten used to this'? That's like the least romantic thing I think any girl has ever said to any boy." he smiled his big goofy grin and Sarah knew he was joking despite the pang the line had caused in her. She thought back to the conversation with Casey. Am I really capable of being what he needs?

After a moment's hesitation, she said as cheerfully as she could. "Yes, but consider the source."

He looked at her thoughtfully. "You're right." he said, tone serious enough for her to sit back and look at him in surprise. He continued. "I shouldn't joke like that, its hard enough for you isn't it?"

She tensed and her breath caught in her chest, it was like he was a goddamned mind reader. At least where she was concerned. She felt a trickle of moisture at the corner of her eye and before she could wipe it, he was already there. "How do you keep reading my mind, Chuck?"

He didn't reply, just hugged her. She let herself be pulled in and eventually they found themselves stretched out in the bed. She was curled around him like a, well kudzu vine, and after a long few minutes of silence finally started to relax again.

"I'm not claiming to know everything, but I just took you at your word." he said, then kissed the top of her head. "I know that's not what you're used to, but we're going to listen to each other and make an effort to figure things out before assuming the worst, OK?."

"OK, I can do that." she said, suppressing the sudden increased heart rate, right before she closed her eyes and snuggled closer. "I think, maybe, we should just try to get some sleep now."

"You're probably right." he replied and pulled the blanket over them. "We have to deal with explaining where we were all night to Ellie tomorrow."

Her eyes shot back open and she felt a bit of panic, mostly for Chuck. She wasn't afraid to hide behind him. I better think of something just in case.

Morning came and as Chuck had an early shift – and so then, did she. There was a bit of an icy silence as people maneuvered around each other getting ready. It was clear Devon was staying clear of the blowback when he snuck out for a run. Sarah lingered in the bathroom with the door open when she heard Chuck finally talking to his sister, unable to avoid her any longer. Instinct, training, and good sense all agreeing that she shouldn't let Chuck fly solo here.

"Hey, sis." he paused, she could hear his footsteps in the kitchen. "Good morning!" a longer pause. "Or not."

It didn't sound like Ellie had responded at all beyond crunching on some cereal.

"Could you pass the berry loops?" he asked. Sarah winced. I'm thinking that was the wrong thing to say…

"Are you sure you don't want any sizzling shrimp?" came the response, dripping with sarcasm.

"Right."

"You know, 'cause we have a whole lot of that left over." Ellie said and Sarah heard more movement.

"'Cause we got back late last night."

"This is the point I'm trying to make."

"And you're making it very well, I want you to know that." Chuck said, tone as mild as Sarah had ever heard.

"You know, it's one thing to let several pounds of shrimp go to waste, it's another to stand me up, but to leave me with Morgan?" Ellie's tone took on a plaintive note at the end. Sarah didn't quite think Morgan deserved that level of dismissal, but then she hadn't been the target of a somewhat creepy crush for the majority of her adult life.

"And I… I… I… feel terrible about that, believe me, I do. You know how much I adore sizzling shrimp. And you. More specifically you. It's just... Sarah…" Chuck said increasingly rapidly, and Sarah could tell he was spiraling. Crap, I need to step in before he says something like I have a… spastic colon or something. He's a terrible liar.

She stepped quickly into the room. "I'm so sorry, but we just got to," she took a deliberate look down for a moment and inserted a pause. "talking and completely lost track of time." She stepped to Chuck's side and grabbed his arm. "Really this time was all my fault and I feel just as bad as Chuck does."

"Talking." Ellie repeated, taking in the realization the Sarah had spent the night.

Sarah shrugged and looked at Chuck deliberately. She was standing just out of Chuck's line of sight so he couldn't see her expression. Sarah just let herself show a bit of what she'd have preferred to spend the morning doing on her face.

Ellie's eyes widened. "Oh, talking. I see."

"So, we feel really bad that it happened. We'll do better about keeping track of time, I promise." Sarah smiled, genuinely. And she did mean that, it wouldn't do for the cover for Ellie to start putting together Chuck's missing time with other events. "I guess I sometimes forget. Just because I don't have anyone else, he's got a lot of people with just as valid or maybe more valid claims." Also true, and how is it that I keep dropping truth around Bartowskis? Its all something that wouldn't have bothered me less than a year ago.

It was odd, Sarah thought. She could see it happen like a switch flipped. Ellie's face changed and went from angry sister to 'concerned and maternal' in a snap. Then Ellie moved, brushing right past Chuck. And Sarah found herself on the receiving end of a tight, familial, Bartowski hug. Ellie was speaking but she missed the first word or two.

"...sorry, I hadn't even thought. And here I am yelling at basically the only person in Burbank you have right now… I feel awful." Ellie paused for breath and pulled back, holding onto Sarah's shoulders. "We will fix this. You, me, girls day out this Saturday and I won't hear no from you." By now Ellie's face had lit up with the smile possessed by all do-gooders who have found a cause.

She'd seen it on Chuck's face before, but not quite like this. Sarah felt like she was being pulled in by some kind of irresistible force. It was, oddly frightening, and, yet, comforting. There weren't a lot of times when she'd had someone who wasn't working an angle be nice to her. She could only smile and nod, and after seeing the happy expression on Chuck's face, take a breath to suppress tears. It was obvious Chuck was delighted that she was bonding with Ellie, with his family she realized. She wasn't supposed to be emotional but she could tell that Ellie just cared for people. As unswervingly and unreservedly as Chuck did, if not more. "Thank you, that sounds really nice." she said finally.

Ellie released her and turned to Chuck, poking him in the chest. "You, buster, could have given me a text or a call. I'm going to hold you responsible." her glare dimmed. "And you remember, tomorrow?"

"Absolutely, yes." Chuck replied promptly. "It would take some kind of national emergency situation to make me miss it, I swear."

Sarah winced slightly. It was like the movies Chuck had been watching with her. You just didn't say things like that. It was almost as bad as 'one last job'.

The rest of breakfast passed uneventfully, now that Ellie's annoyance was redirected. Ellie breezed out after settling on Saturday at nine to start a girls outing and Sarah finished her coffee a bit bemusedly. There wasn't time to think about it or go back to bed, they had to leave for work soon. She put the thoughts aside and focused on the next few quiet moments they could share before leaving.

-After the stakeout.-

The following morning, after their more eventful than expected stakeout, Sarah took Chuck's hand to pull him aside as Casey left.

"Let it go, Chuck, OK?" Sarah said. She felt bad, but she need to keep Chuck from focusing on fixing everyone's problems.

He shook his head. "Sarah, I screwed up, OK? Its my fault. Her brother is going to die, and its all my fault!"

"No, it's her fault." Sarah replied. "She went off grid, she disobeyed orders coming here." She actually felt a bit dirty for saying that, considering her plans for Chuck should anything go wrong.

"Yeah, but her superiors didn't even give her a choice, come on!" Chuck was gesturing animatedly. "Sarah, I'd have done the same thing if it were Ellie. If it were you. I'd have done the same thing."

Her heart flipped and her stomach sank a bit. She knew he would, and it was one of her constant fears – that he'd get himself hurt or killed coming after her.

He shrugged. "Minus the shooting up the club part."

"I know how you feel." she said, and smiled. "I do, really. It was hard for me too when I first started, but the truth is we can't save everyone." she paused, sighed. "You can break your heart trying, or end up dead."

"But what does it cost us not to try, Sarah?" he asked, pleading.

"That can break your heart too, sometimes." she admitted. "Look, we have to go, but we'll talk later?"

"OK, sure." Chuck said, sounding down still.

Sarah wasn't sure what exactly to do for it. Sarah looked at him and decided. "C'mon, we can be late. Lets walk."

They slowly made their way through the courtyard and out to the sidewalk. Sarah glanced around and led Chuck down the street to the left. After a few minutes she nudged him with her shoulder. "Tell me."

Chuck looked at her with a pained expression. "Really?"

"I care about you, I want to know." Sarah replied simply. She'd learned rapidly that Chuck's greatest weakness was when she was sincere with him. It worked even better than a low cut top.

"You know… we're coming up on the anniversary of when Ellie really became my only family. I didn't really think about it. Maybe that's why this is getting to me." He shook his head and took her hand. "For a while when we were kids, everything was pretty normal." Chuck smiled at the happy memories. "Dad tried to be like other dads, teach me baseball, but he was a scientist. So in the end he taught me to read, computers, and electronics. Mom, she was always a bit strange. Distant maybe, though that seems wrong because she was there and never avoided us. She always she loved us, and took care of us, it just felt like some piece was missing? Dad, he was kind of incapable of handling things on his own. Early on Ellie picked up on Mom's habits of protecting people and started filling in for Dad's lapses." He sighed. "Later, the suburban life cracked, and crumbled. Our Dad traveled for some kind of work, more and more. Eventually our Mom left us, I was in fifth grade. Ellie's not a lot older than me. She took over even though she was only twelve. Fought to keep us together as my Dad was there less and less. By the time I was fourteen, he was just never came back and Ellie was all I had. She beat all the odds, finished raising me. When we made it to college we moved out of that house, never looked back. Never saw Dad or Mom again. We got cards and gifts from time to time from Dad, but eventually those stopped."

They walked on in silence for a few minutes. "Ellie, she gave up all of her free time, threw everything into us." He smiled again and now it reached his eyes. "And then goes on to be a doctor to keep helping people. She's the best person I know and the only person, other than Morgan, I've always been able to count on. I think, on some level, the standard I judge everyone else against now? She never even blinked when I had to come back from Stanford, just took me in. Not that she doesn't more or less constantly nudge me to do better. And not to say that we don't annoy each other. Still siblings."

Sarah blinked, she wasn't quite crying, thinking of who might leave Chuck or his sister behind. It certainly seemed to explain why Chuck was so… wrapped up in the people around him. He was afraid they'd leave. She wanted to be mad about what had been done to him, and she was a little, but knew life wasn't always neatly packaged up with good guys and bad guys. People broke and it wasn't pretty, and it didn't make sense. It just was how it was sometimes. It was amazing to her, that he turned out as such a relentlessly good person. Even more impressive was the pretty doctor, with the perfect boyfriend, feet firmly on a fantastic career path. Someone who'd seemed so effortlessly welcoming to this person invading their lives. Someone who didn't seem to let even a hint of the shadows of her past dim her present or future. I know that's not how I turned out. I mean I left my Mom. For stupid 'adventures' with dad…

"I'd like to think you've got at least one more person you can count on." She smiled at him and then looked ahead as they walked. "I guess there's a good reason I feel a bit intimidated by her. I didn't quite get it until now. She fills the sister and mom roles."

He bumped shoulders with her before he replied. "Yes, it does feel like my circle of trust has grown just a touch." He fell silent for a moment. "She likes you, you know." Chuck said. "Of course she's just happy you're not imaginary and that I'm getting out of the house so she isn't grading too hard."

"Maybe I am imaginary, Chuck." she smiled wistfully. "I'm not sure I've been 'real' since I was sixteen." She fell silent as they rounded the corner. They'd decided silently to go completely around the block. It was actually, she reflected, quite peaceful at this time of the morning.

He gave her a full minute before he spoke up. "You can't drop something like that and not explain."

Sarah gave an audible sigh. "You know I don't actually like talking about my past, and we already covered this. I told you there would be things I'd leave out."

"And yet…" Chuck said, trailing off.

"And yet… OK" She shrugged. "I told you about my Dad. I'm not particularly proud of abandoning my Mom, but in my defense I was eight." She pulled him a little closer and slowed her pace. "By the time I was sixteen, we'd ended up in San Diego. He was running a long game on some fairly bad people. I didn't know how bad at the time, he'd had me go to high school to keep me occupied and I was old enough at that time to want out of that life. So I didn't look too closely. I don't think he'd intended on us being in danger, but we were. Graham… he wasn't the director yet but was on his way up. He 'arranged' things so that my father would end up in jail and not dead." Sarah sighed. She knew Chuck would have a fit at this next bit. "So long as I accepted his offer to come to work for him at the CIA."

"At sixteen? Who does that to a kid?" Chuck stopped and spluttered, waving his hands. "Wasn't that illegal?"

"Calm down!" Sarah said sharply, but quietly. "And yes, it was. Technically what I'm doing right now is illegal since the CIA can't operate domestically. That's never been of particular importance to the people in charge."

"But how… what did…" Chuck was a bit incoherent, but Sarah gathered his meaning.

"I graduated early from school. Graham altered the records so I was officially eighteen at this point. Entered a hybrid, accelerated, program at the Farm and Harvard. Graduated from both, went into field work. You know the rest." she sighed again and leaned against him. "This is the most 'real' I've felt since then."

Chuck finally spoke. "I can't imagine that life, what was taken from you. I eventually had to get by without my Mom, or my Dad. But I had Ellie and Morgan. You didn't have anyone. Even though he was there… your dad used you. Graham used you… I am so sorry. I know I probably wouldn't have been much good to you, but I can't help but wish I'd have known you or been able to help you. At least I kind of know where you're coming from."

"Thank you." She said simply. "I wish I'd known you back then too. Maybe we could have saved each other." She paused, thinking maybe it was time for him to let her take on something for him. "Chuck?"

"Hmm?" he said, lost in thought, as they walked.

"You don't have to tell me, but since we're talking about things and we've got a minute… there's a more to the story of Stanford and Bryce isn't there?" Sarah kept her tone neutral. "The 'pretended to be his buddy, sexed up his girl, and got him kicked out of Stanford.' bit from Morgan was a little thin on details. Especially on how it could cause a five year… pause."

Chuck stopped and looked around. The park that occupied the same block as the apartments came complete with a few benches. He took her arm and guided her to one. When they'd sat, he sighed. "Yes, there's more to that."

"You know, Ellie told me explicitly that 'Even though we may ask, no woman really wants to hear about an old girlfriend.'. You're asking me to tempt the wrath of Ellie." Chuck said with a note of what sounded like not totally mock fear.

"I promise to protect you." Sarah smiled reassuringly. "Seriously I want to know. If only so I can put reasons behind my desire to hurt your ex."

"Fine." She could see his expression changing. Finally he sighed, shrugged, and looked down. "I got cheated on, at the same time as being accused of cheating myself. Its worse than it sounds, when you have to live it." he continued, looking back up giving an uncomfortable laugh. "Sort of the cherry on a spiral of thing that ended up with me working retail for the past five years." He paused, watching a memory of that time she guessed. "I'd met Jill at Stanford, of course, and you'll hear or could have heard I suppose two different versions. Bryce, if he were around, would tell you he introduced me. But the truth is that I met her in one of those ridiculous comedic moments on the quad. She'd dropped her bag and I went to help pick it up. There was a cartoonish 'bonk' and we sort of fell over. And into dating." he stopped and stared straight ahead. His voice was so… defeated sounding. He began to explain the relationship and how it had grown over his time at Stanford. It had apparently been his first, and only, really long term relationship. It made her want to hug him, and hurt people. It was all the worse to hear because what he described sounded actually pretty good. The highlights and lowlights even, how much he'd felt it taught him to grow up. The fact that he talked more about Jill than Bryce, was interesting. He fell silent after a few more minutes of anecdotes. He looked at her and sighed again. "I loved her, and thought she loved me. I'd actually considered marrying her. And then she abandoned me right at the worst time in my life, you know how that happened." his hands twisted together, the only sign that he might have been angry over the whole thing. "Then, of course, she ended up with him." He looked at the sky. "I never knew why Bryce did it. He destroyed my life. Over a girl? Over something else?"

She knew that he was leaving out some parts, probably even more painful or embarrassing, and she didn't pry. She did give into her earlier thought, and hugged him. Unsure of what to say, she said nothing at first. Just held on. Finally she said, quietly and in a totally serious tone, "I was kind of joking before, but really... do you want me to beat her up?" They both laughed and it felt like at least some of the weight came off, if she wasn't imagining things. "Thank you for telling me, I know it sucked." A thought was echoing in her head. This person hurt Chuck. I am going to kick her ass. I'd shoot Bryce but Casey got there first – lucky bastard.

"You asked. And hey, bonus, you're not running. So I can at least use that when Ellie tries to yell at me." Chuck said, laughing nervously.

Sarah smiled, dragging herself out of thoughts of violence, and hugged him closer, then released him and stood, pulling him to his feet.

They continued to walk on, both not really knowing what to say next. They'd almost made it back around to the car before Chuck finally broke the silence.

"Well, that was… a lot." Chuck laughed a bit uncomfortably. "And now we have to go to work."

"Yep. Another day of grease and high schoolers staring at my ass." Sarah said in a falsely bright tone, but quickened her pace pulling him along. "We don't want to be too late!"