Chapter Three: Hogwarts

Both Sirius and Remus left the inside of the Shrieking Shack first. Professor Sprout led them kindly through the exit…but Gerald, just disappeared. Harold supposed that it was just her eyes, for how could he just disappear? Lummy was chatting amicably with Professor Sprout as if nothing had happened, but soon they were all in the middle of the largest hall Harold had ever seen. The ceiling was enchanted to look like the sky, and there were four long tables along the edges. Kind-faced Professor Sprout handed over to a witch with a hat that pointed straight up at that enchanted ceiling, and a very stern face. Lummy gripped Harold's hand for support, for even silly, pranking Lummy was afraid for a moment.

The stern witch spoke abruptly,

"You will be sorted now. Which of you wishes to go first?" Harold raised her hand, and went to go sit on a tiny, wobbly stool. The stern witch placed a ragged hat on her head.

"You don't know anything do you? Well, there are four houses, and they claim to represent different things. You are hungry? That's not particularly important during sorting, you know? You hate clams? Once again, this is irrelevant. Perhaps Ravenclaw – you were quite brilliant – but in such a very odd way. Not Hufflepuff – I think you would frighten everyone there. Never Slytherin, the taint of muggles is too strong. Gryffindor I think…I hope Godric hated Clams…GRYFFINDOR!"

There was some scattered applause for this, but no one had been expecting sorting to take place in December. Lummy went up to the stool, somewhat heartened after her sister had come out alive. She sat confidently on the tiny stool, and threw the ugly hat on her head.

"Crazier than your sister, I think. Oh – and a mind like…the Marauders. But you have no idea what they are. You like bean casserole? Is all you girls think about food? Oh ANYTHING BUT THAT…BE IN GRYFFINDOR with your sister, LET ME GO…" and the Sorting hat flew off Lummy's head. Instead of applause at this announcement, there was confusion and gasps from the audience. Lummy and Harold went to go sit next to the only two people they had met at Hogwarts, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Sirius Black, Mischief Maker extraordinaire, was thoroughly confused. The two fake Muggle girls were Gryffindors now, and they looked like they were walking towards him. They both had shoulder length blonde hair, pretty noses…and one had a particularly striking set of green eyes. Like Lily, thought Sirius, knowing James would kill him for even thinking about his girlfriend. He kicked Remus under the table, who swore loudly, allowing him to shout,

"Prefect Moony's got a problem!" This wasn't particularly mature, but Sirius needed something to do. Remus had thought of a particularly brilliant prank, but apparently Snivellus was in the hospital wing, so there wasn't really anyone who it could be tested on, perhaps…

"Hi, I'm Pearly Puff Delaware, but most folks call me Harold, I don't b'lieve we've properly met yet," spoke the one with hazel eyes, looking at Remus and interrupting Sirius' thoughts. Remus seemed just as lost a Sirius, but recovered quickly, and replied,

"Well, I'm Remus Lupin, and this is Sirius Black, and we are pleased to welcome you to Hogwarts."

"Why the hell is your name Pearly Puff? Is that even a name?" asked Sirius, rather rudely. The girl stared at him for a moment, and then answered (with a smile, which frightened Sirius a bit)

"I think my mother was a bit mad when I was born, that's all." Sirius looked over at her sister, who was eating peacefully next to him. Perhaps peacefully was not the word, since she appeared to be dissolving food in her mouth, much in the way he enjoyed. Disapparating was more likely the more apt terminology, Sirius thought. Just then, the object of his musings looked up at him and winked strangely.

But breakfast was over, so there was really nothing to muse on about. Lummy glanced at her schedule, she had Transfiguration next. What was Transfiguration? And didn't she require some sort of wand to do it? She looked at her sister worriedly, but Harold was asking Remus for directions. In the end, both she and Harold decided to follow the Marauders (as Lummy found they were called), to their next class.

The stern witch was there, and seemed slightly surprised by the presence of Harold and Lummy. They were astonishingly unprepared, considering that neither of them had a wand. The stern witch introduced herself as Professor McGonagall, a little unnecessarily for everyone except for Harold and Lummy. She looked oddly at them for a moment, then turned to the entire class in her strict voice,

"Today we shall be doing partial human transfiguration. I expect that most of you will be able to do this by now without too much difficulty. Partners please."

The class quickly collected themselves into random groups, Lummy found herself opposite a pleasant faced, redheaded witch with lovely green eyes. She looked around for her sister, and found that Harold was standing with a wizard who resembled Gerald Afbetoqui, but much less serious. Speaking of Sirius, Lummy (hating the pun in her head), the dark haired boy was partnered with Remus, neither of them caring that Peter had not been bright enough to be in Newt level Transfiguration.

Remus twirled his wand haughtily. It was something he had picked up from seven years of association with one Sirius Black. The werewolf glanced up at the Professor…it was Transfiguration. Every Seventh year knew exactly what that meant – another mock competition between Head Boy James Potter and his best friend Sirius Black, vying for the title of "Best in Transfiguration". Every student in the school knew that Sirius Black could easily have been Head Boy if it weren't for the other title he held – Most Detentions Ever Received by a Hogwarts Student.

"Begin your transfigurations! Remember, arms and legs first!" There was a scrambling of arms and wands as the students hurried to follow McGonagall's instructions. James picked up his wand with a flourish. He would outdo Sirius today. His partner was one of the new girls, and wouldn't put up any struggle. Flash! Her arms had been altered into octopus legs. There was another flash, and her legs collapsed underneath her as they became the claws of a crab.

"Very good Potter! Five points to Gryffindor!" said McGonagall, approvingly. James flushed, and searched for his girlfriend, Lily Evans. Lily was partnered with the girl who looked like the twin of his own partner…well, without the octopus legs and crab claws. Lily gave a little demure flick of her wand, and Lummy's hands became fish fins. A second flash marked the transformation of Lummy's long legs into those of a tiger, with brilliant black and orange stripes. Lummy looked at them, and decided, that perhaps it was an improvement.

Sirius knew James would lose. He glanced at James' handiwork – it was just too simple. He glared at Remus with a stare that signified "I'm going to own James". He gave a complicated little twist of his wand, and Remus' arms became two shimmering white wings. A second twirl, and Remus' legs were those of a dark black bison. James looked on angrily, and glared at a bewildered Harold, and gave his wand another flick, and Harold's nose elongated to an elephant's trunk.

"Come now, I can't breathe properly!"

"Well, at least you can talk."

"What is your name, anyway? You look like a friend of mi …"

"James Potter, if you please."

"I'm Harold."

"But you're a girl."

"You're a boy, you don't see me complaining."

"But – I've got a boy's name."

"I met a girl named James once."

"Really?"

"No, but if I did, she wouldn't be as dashed dumb as you."

"That's it, I'm going to transfigure your…"

Professor McGonagall decided to interject here –

"Her what, Mr. Potter?"

"Oh, hello Professor."

"Well, I am glad that you did not finish that sentence Mr. Potter, because you will be receiving five additional points for your superb transfiguration."

James gave a little smirk in Sirius' direction. Ten points, and Sirius hadn't received one. However, it seemed as though Professor McGonagall had just noticed Remus' fluttering state, because she remarked –

"Wings, Mr. Black?"

"Er – yes, Professor"

"Very impressive, Sirius."

Sirius nearly blushed – Professor McGonagall had actually used his first name –

"Thanks, Professor. I'll do it again if you go on a da…"

"That'll be…eleven points to Gryffindor for your handiwork."

Sirius was deprived of his opportunity to gloat at James, because just then, the bell rang. McGonagall gave an all-encompassing wand wave, and the transfigured members of the class returned to their ordinary states.

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