Chapter Five: Lunch

Five seconds into Lunch, Professor McGonagall gathered Harold and Lummy and took them to Diagon Alley. As soon as they had left, the rest of the Hogwarts student body began to gossip about them loudly and suggestively.

Sirius was once again sitting next to James, across from Remus, and diagonally from Peter. Lily was sitting next to James, but Lunch was Marauder Gossip Time MGT and James was not paying a whit of attention to his girlfriend. Marauder Code had decreed that Lunch be spelled and spoken with a capital L. Sirius was in charge of commencing MGT.

"I think they're pretty."

Remus nodded his affirmative, but James protested –

"Lily is prettier." Sirius groaned at this, but immediately became more concerned with the matters at hand – he looked at Remus suggestively, then said,

"They should be put to Marauder's test."

Remus nodded gravely, but James queried –

"What's Marauder's test?"

"Well, if a Marauder wants to be close to a girl – and not just as a temporary thing – she needs to go through the Marauder's test; I mean…we did it to Li…"

But Sirius had said too much. He immediately began eating his lunch ravenously.

"What did you do to Lily!"

Remus tried to be soothing – but James was looking daggers at Sirius. Sirius stood up, made an X symbol with his hands, drew his finger across his neck like a dagger, and then pelted up to the boys' dormitory. Remus stood up, bowed, and then followed Sirius.

Unfortunately, this left James with an unprepared Peter. James smiled sweetly at Peter, like a spider trapping a fly.

"Peter, I want to know about the Marauder's Test."

Peter looked eager at James' question – James so rarely talked to him as if he were important, and began pompously,

"Well, it's not really much, just a series of pranks we play to determine the worthiness of someone…"

"Someone like my girlfriend?"

"Wha…yes…"

"Don't worry Peter, I already know most of it – just specifics, you know."

Peter visibly relaxed, of course James knew –

"Well, funny stuff, you know. There was the time when we jinxed all her make-up and brushes so her hair and face would turn green – you know, to match her eyes, and once we hexed her books so that when she opened them they'd throw things at her. Oh, and then there was the time when…"

James stood up and announced,

"SIRIUS BLACK, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" The Great Hall looked mildly interested for a moment, but somebody threatened to kill Sirius Black everyday, so it was really nothing special. James Potter ran up the stairs to the boy's dormitory.

At Diagon Alley, Harold and Lummy had just finished purchasing the necessary spell books for seven years of study. Professor McGonagall had just explained that they would be completing five additional accelerated hours of study each day so that they could catch up to where their Newt level classmates were in less than a month. This seemed reasonable to Harold and Lummy as they trounced into Ollivander's to purchase their wands.

Mr. Ollivander looked darkly at Harold. She began to try out wand after wand, but Mr. Ollivander shook his head impatiently after each try. Finally, he announced, "I'll be back" and disappeared into a trapdoor in the floor. He brought out a dusty cardboard box a moment later. He looked somewhat disgusted, but said,

"We made this wand by mistake. Lingenberry trees aren't supposed to be made into wands, but my half uncle's second cousin twice removed was a bit dumb. I suppose it might do for you – it's got the hair of a jackrabbit inside."

Professor McGonagall frowned upon hearing this tale, but as soon as Harold tried it, a gold thread erupted from the stick and sparks flew spectacularly. Ollivander nodded, and packaged the wand for purchase.

It was now Lummy's turn. She too tried nearly every wand in the store, but Ollivander didn't even seem to have any brainwaves to help her. He went to the back of the store and brought out something that looked like a spindly and short baseball bat. Sure enough, it was made from Aluminum.

"Well, wands were found to be generally made from wood – but this one has got the hair of a unicorn inside."

Harold noticed that Mr. Ollivander sounded oddly defeated. But Lummy tried out the wand…and surprisingly enough, sparks flew from the end. Just as Mr. Ollivander moved to pack the aluminum wand, Lummy gave an inadvertent wave, and a wave of water engulfed the store. Thousands of wands flew off the shelves. Even more were pushed off the shelves in a miniature hurricane.

"OUT OF MY STORE!" cried Mr. Ollivander, and Professor McGonagall grabbed hold of Lummy and Harold and left Diagon Alley.

They had hurried into the Floo just seconds after escaping the flash flood that started at Ollivander's. The three of them tumbled out of Dumbledore's fireplace in sooty disarray, their packages tumbling around them. Professor McGonagall was the first to recover – she stood up, tidied her hair, and waited a moment for Harold and Lummy to find themselves.

"It is time then, that we move you both into the Seventh year girls' dormitory."

They walked up to the Gryffindor tower, and arrived at the topmost floor, where five beds were already crowding the quarters. Professor McGonagall sighed audibly –

"I suppose we can fit you into this corner, perhaps bump beds would do it?"

Harold figured that the esteemed Professor meant bunk beds, but why…

It was Lummy who spoke up,

"Can't we just expand it using magic?"

It was evident that Professor McGonagall had forgotten this minor detail, because she gave a wave of her wand, and the dormitory became larger, and two additional canopied beds appeared. A second flick brought their new trunks to sit beside their beds, freshly pressed robes stacked upon their trunks. (Who presses them, Harold wondered).

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