Chapter Eight: The Beater

After they had carefully removed the remnants of the marinara sauce from their hair, Lummy and Harold sat down to have a very serious discussion on their charred sheets. The smoke, however, did wonders for the peeling wallpaper. Something of an art deco feel.

"You know, I think this is a very important part of being at Hogwarts."

"What, this whole pranking business?"

"Yes – didn't you see that the whole school was interested?"

"What do you suggest we do about it?"

Lummy thought for a moment, then suggested –

"Prank them of course."

"We don't know enough magic."

"It doesn't have to be mean…just funny."

There were a number of options available, from simply drenching the Marauders, to curling their hair, but our wards of Delaware were creative. Harold and Lummy soon discovered that Sirius, Gryffindor beater extraordinaire, did not own his own Beater's bat. He used the one that the school provided. Apparently, it was a point of pride with him that he did not require a superior bat to play well. They charmed the school bat (that was just lying around in the Quidditch changing room) so that when he touched it…things would happen!

The next morning, Harold and Lummy run off to their lessons, and the Gryffindor Quidditch team meets once again for their Sunday practice. James, looking splendid in his scarlet robes, begins –

"This year, we shall prevail. We shall defeat all others who dare stand in our way. We shall never stand down, never …" when Sirius seizes his Beater's bat and moves toward James as if to knock him out. However, before he can do anything, the rest of the team lets out a collective gasp.

"Oh come now, I'm not doing anything wrong – its just that our dear Captain here has a tendency to go a bit, off, shall we say?"

When the team continues to stare at him, including James, Sirius just goes ahead at hits James with his bat in annoyance. Then, right before his eyes, James begins to turn colors – first the shoulder where Sirius hit him, then spreads to the rest of his body. Sirius stares at James for a moment –

"James, you're…bloody purple."

It was true, every eyelash, tooth, and pupil were the same ghastly shade of violet. But James almost laughed and replied –

"Sirius, hate to break this to you mate…but you're GREEN".

The two of them run screaming to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey is first surprised to see a Green Boy and a Purple Boy, but since they are Black and Potter, she is not too upset.

"Boys, just lie down, I can fix this in a jiffy."

"What is it?"

"Just a minor color change spell."

As soon as they are out of the Hospital Wing (and James has called off Quidditch Practice), Sirius calls a Marauder's discussion.

"We, sirs, have been pranked."

"But by whom – any fourth year can do a color change spell."

"Ah, but sirs, no fourth year would dare to prank us."

"Then who is it?"

"Who has just learned fourth year charms spells, but is relatively new to the school? I think that you know the answer."

Remus catches on to Sirius' revelation the fastest –

"Harold and Lummy!"

James takes the stand in the discussion –

"Then we shall now implement Marauder's Revenge, in addition to the Marauder's test. Who takes precedence of planning?"

"I, sir," said Remus, eagerly.

"Who shall take precedence of spellwork?"

"That would be me," marked Sirius.

"And me," added James hastily. Peter just nodded in the background.

"Then back to Quidditch practice!" cries James. Sirius looks incensed –

"I thought you called it off…"

"And get less than three hours a day, never!"

Oh, if only he were still Captain.

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