Chapter Fifteen: New Identities
A message had come by owl post from Remus parents. But inside, there was another envelope, this one marked "Important, Confidential." It was from the ABC executives, addressed to Messrs. Remus Lupin and James Potter. Remus kicked James under the table as he tried to bite into a meatball.
"Ouch! What's wrong, Moony?"
"Letter. Meet me in the Shack after breakfast."
A new voice came floating over the Gryffindor table, one from a boy with a tousled mop of black hair atop his head –
"Moony, Prongs, is that a letter I spot?"
Unfortunately, the new voice could not get any closer, because a throng of girls had been waiting to pounce upon him as soon as he entered the Great Hall.
"Did you really kill her, Sirius, darling?"
"You didn't actually kiss her, did you?"
"I'd be a wonderful girlfriend, you know?"
James recognized the last statement as coming from none other than Alice Finchley, Sirius stalker extraordinaire. He chuckled, and motioned for Remus to follow him out to the Shrieking Shack. Once they were inside, James asked,
"What is this all about?" Remus made a show of pulling his hair out, and motioned toward the letter itself.
"It has come to our attention that the actors and actresses on your Television show may not be registered with the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) as required by ABC bylaws. It is therefore recommended that the Potter-Lupin Agency fill out the enclosed forms for all those featured on your show. Please return these at the earliest convenient date…"
"It can't be that hard. I mean, all we have to do is fill out his name, birthdate…"
"His name, James?"
James realized with a start that they weren't going to believe that his actual name was Sirius Black –
"We could just make everything up."
"Everything?"
"It's not like they have Muggle records for them. Just some names, numbers, and we're set."
Remus chewed on the end of his quill and brought out the first form. They thought for a few seconds as to what name they would give him. James pried the form from Remus' fingers and began scribbling furiously,
"I've got it!"
"What?"
"Rufus Scrimgeour."
"The ugly Hufflepuff?"
"No one will suspect a thing. Could you imagine anyone confusing Sirius with that kid?"
"Alright. Birthdate?"
"Use his real one."
"What about for Lummy?"
James got a wicked glimmer in his eyes.
"I have an idea, but Sirius would kill us."
"What is it?"
"Narcissa Black."
"His cousin?"
"Do we know any other Narcissa Blacks? Think, Remus!"
"Won't people find it odd that she has the same last name as Sirius' character?"
"True. Let's give her a Slytherin last name."
"Snape," suggested Remus, giving James a wicked smile. Then they both looked at each other, and murmured, "That's too mean." After going through possible surnames derived from the Slytherin house, they decided upon Avery.
"Narcissa Avery. It has a nice ring to it," stated James. Remus gave a short laugh,
"Maybe if either of them were nice people."
And with that revelation, they mailed in the forms to the American Broadcasting Corporation.
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This will be trouble, mark me words, laddies…now then, posts! Reviews!