Chapter 24 - Grounding

Warning talk of past abuse

Monday 1st February

They walked back again in silence, and once he had taken all his outer clothes off, Isur led him through to one of the meeting rooms that the school had. There Nymira was waiting with another box, this one white.

"Here", she handed him the box, and Harry started to unpack it. Inside was all the stuff and instructions for the Brighid crown, along with a pot, some soil and seeds.

"I see you are starting without me" Luke laughed as he arrived. They worked in silence for a few minutes, starting with potting the seeds before beginning on the crown.

"Did you mean it? About not going back to Hogwarts?" Isur asked.

"Yeah," Harry nodded. "I had already decided before that if I liked the school, I wasn't jumping around. I wanted a school without danger, without the teachers being funny. So I applied to Se Ridica first and got in. But then I didn't hear anything else and didn't get any more information. I had a lot from Magere, and the more I heard and learned, the more people I met. I just knew that if I got in, that was where I was going. The last month has been one of the best in my life. I guess that as long as we get to the end of the year without anything major, I am happy and not going anywhere. Hogwarts, I lasted 2 months, so not even the end of the year, easter."

"I'm glad."

"You were worried?"

"Yes, admittedly", Isur sighed. "I waited so long, I knew why as well. And then you came from Hogwarts. They made sure to tell us all that you might go back, that this might be temporary. I made a vow to myself to be there anyway. That even if you went back, you were still my Liten, but I knew it wouldn't have been the same. I wanted what everyone else had."

"I worried as well for Isur. He's my little brother, and I wanted him to have that and not have it taken away, so to speak. To lose them. To have those experiences. We lost some, and I didn't want him to lose more." Nymira smiled

"It doesn't matter. We're all here, and I don't blame Harry for wanting away from the danger. I've been keeping up with Hogwarts, and as soon as all the students left, the attacks stopped." Luke looked at them all.

"I know about that", Harry muttered. "My friend Ron, his sister, had this funny diary. When she got home, her mum found it, and it tested for dark magic. Apparently, it was linked to her and controlling her. They think that is what was opening the chamber, using her. The OSS put her through counselling and a purification bath. She's at Se Ridica and doing fine now."

"So they now need to find the monster to stop this from ever happening again."

"Yes," Harry nodded.

"At least the girl is alright and does say why they stopped", Nymira smiled.

"Yes."

"How is your Grand Stor Luke we didn't get a chance to see?"

"Ivet is fine. She's under the creature department, not the gift department like I thought. Apparently, when she was younger, she wasn't the best at telling someone when she was ill, and it landed her on medical watch. Her parents were very caring, though and looked out for her quite a bit. All she had was some extra health checks, and her Alpha had to jump through a few hoops before bonding with her. She's pregnant with her first child now."

"Wow," Harry whispered.

"That's great" Isur smiled.

"You'll have to tell her congratulations from all of us" Nymira nodded.

"I will"

Harry sighed at that before sitting back from the finished crown. All it needed now was his candles, and he would bring them down later tonight.

"Harry, you alright?"

"Yeah, sometimes I just wonder what it would have been like growing up with mum and dad."

"Many orphans feel like that, especially ones that grew up like you did", Nymira stated.

"It was Dumbledore. He put me there. Said it was for my safety. I went back every year, but now I wonder safe from what."

"Can you tell us more about them?" Isur shifted to get comfy. "We've seen the scars, so we can guess it was bad."

Harry sighed again and looked off to the side and then back at the crown. He hadn't spoken about the Dursleys to anyone. Not Dr Vang. Not to Erlendur. Not anyone. Many like Ron, Hermione, Tabitha, Jakob, Demelza and Eveline. They knew a little. But he had never talked about it entirely or even at all to anyone. Just that they didn't treat him right and what they had guessed. Turning, he looked back at them and then the crown again.

"You don't have to if your not ready, Harry. It takes time." Isur smiled softly.

"They didn't treat me right. You know that from the medical and vaccinations, they didn't care if I got sick and died. They...they had me do lots of chores, so now I'm not fond of cleaning much. But at the same time, I struggle when things are messy or dirty. Looking for Aunt Petunia to pop and screech about it. Dudley, he once swapped all the chemical labels around, and I got a bad burn on my hand from it. So now I always wear gloves and that as well" he rubbed his hand and glanced at the others. None of them had looks of pity or disgust, only open curiosity and understanding.

Harry took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing. If he didn't, he would never get it all out, not now.

"My room was the cupboard under the stairs. They would lock me in there for days without food or water. That's why I'm claustrophobic. That's why it's not that bad in crowds and mostly at night when it's dark. After I got my letter to Hogwarts, they moved me upstairs to Dudley's second bedroom. The first time I had my own room, that's mine, was when I moved to the hostal. But even with everything, they didn't touch me much. Saying I would contaminate them as if they would get magic from me. Only they called it freakishness. They knew of magic but didn't tell me. So I only learned of it when the Hogwarts groundskeeper Hagrid came and gave me my letter telling me.

"The only time they would touch me was the throw me in my cupboard. I didn't know about magic or why all these strange things were blamed on me. Everything else was more chores. But when I did magic they..."

"Easy, Harry" Isur shuffled over and pulled him into a hug. Harry couldn't help stiffening before relaxing more. "I'm going to ground you, and you can either continue or stop, alright. Just take a deep breath" Isur shuffled and moved again till he was behind. Harry closed his eyes but let the boy manipulate him. Typically he would have fought it, but right now, he didn't. Couldn't.

Isur soon had him, so his legs and arms were trapped, and Harry took some deep breaths. He did feel better, calmer and more grounded to what was going on. Not getting trapped in his own memories as he had been, seeing the flashes.

"Do you want to talk, Harry?" Nymira shuffled and put her hand on one leg, and Harry felt Lukes quickly join the other. Gingerly, he nodded. They needed to know, and while it was a little harder now, he wasn't lost in the memories. He knew that he needed to say it. Dr Vang had tried every week till he came to Magere. Always asking questions. But he had never said, never talked. Sometimes he had wondered what the Dr wanted. Now he knew. For him to just admit it and say it out loud.

"They would lock me in my cupboard for weeks without food or going to the bathroom. Then they would complain about the smell. Then they would encourage Dudley to hit me. It started with just his fists. But he started using pipes, sticks, and other things as he got older. He was overweight, so he and his friends only got a few hits in. After that, they would be rewarded for it. For punishing the Freak and treating me properly."

"But it was enough to cause the scars", Luke noted. "Harry, that's all abuse."

"I know. Dr Vang tried to get me to say it before I came here. But I couldn't. But at the Hostal, things were different and then here. They didn't at Hogwarts. But Filtch would threaten the students with it and beg to be allowed to. To hang us by our thumbs in the dungeons. Real discipline, he called it. So I guess I just figured that they didn't know, and that's why they didn't, or something was stopping them. It's only since been away did I really notice and see it was different. That they really were wrong."

"What about your cousin? Did they treat him like that?" Nymira asked. Harry shook his head before looking at her.

"Dudley was an Angel. Anything he did, I got blamed for." he sighed.

"Harry, I am going to say this now" Luke squeezed his leg. "I am going to send a note to Dr Vang not saying anything. Just that you have talked to us about the Dursleys. But know that is all I will ever say. If you want to talk you can come to any of us at any time, alright? You are our little brother, and we're not going anywhere. Ever. No matter what happens. Even if Voldermort comes back. Do whatever to try and get rid of us. All we will do is stay still and hold on harder, depending on what you try and do. It's the same with the OSS."

"Okay," he nodded. Harry wasn't sure how much truth was in Lukes words, but he wasn't going to fight them on that. Sighing, he closed his eyes and relaxed against Isur. He would admit, though, being held was nice.

"Harry, I'm going to let your arms and legs go. Move, and that's a sign you want to stay put. Know, though, that I will gladly sit and have a hug for as long as you want after. Luke and Nymira the same."

"Gladly", the girl smiled. Harry nodded and shivered as Isur let his arms and legs go one by one. As soon as he did, he shifted and pulled his legs up a little as Isurs arms went back around him. It was more of a hug now than a grounding. Though he could still feel the strong support and relaxed a little.

"Just relax, Harry. We can talk more about everything another time. How are you feeling, though? After the grounding?" Luke asked, and he and Nymira shifted to join in the group hug.

"Rested"

"Good", Nymira smiled. Some humans hated grounding; they saw it as a creature thing. However, Harry had to get used to it since he had a high chance of a creature inheritance.

"Harry, can you tell me more about how your classes are going?"

"Good. Luke helps, and I understand more now."

"That's good. How are you managing with the seminars?"

"I like them. I understand everything more and what I can do. We have done seers, Metamorph, and natural animagus so far."

"How you feeling though, physically and emotionally, Harry?" Isur asked this time.

"Lighter for both", he muttered normally.

"Okay. We're going to need to move now. But I'm staying with you the rest of the day, okay?"

"Yeah", Harry nodded and moved off Isur as the large hug pile broke apart.

"How are you feeling now?" Nymria asked from beside him.

"Strange. Lighter and my heads less fuzzy, but... I can't explain it."

"I've heard it say it's like all your worries are still there but at the back, not as concerning. Thus you can focus more on what is needed instead of the stuff you can't control building around you," Luke stated.

"Yes, like that" Harry looked at the vampire.

"Good."

"Now let's go get some candles done with Luke while Nymria goes to join the kitchen staff" Harry laughed as Isur smiled, and the vampires scowled good-naturedly. Quickly they packed up and headed out of the room. It would be claimed again soon enough.

That evening Harry headed outside again with the others. All the students were dressed in their heavy outer school robes while the scholars and teachers were easy to spot. In the middle of the quad outside was an extensive bonfire burning. Harry stood around in one of the circles with Isur on one side and the vampire members on the other. Isur hadn't left his side since his grounding earlier, and Harry had to admit he was thankful. However, between that and telling them about the abuse, he was a little rung out.

Thankfully no one had said anything about him been missing for nearly 3 hours from the candle making. After all of them were done, they set up the dining room, and Harry ran with Isur to get his own candles to add to their little mini alter in the room. Now everyone was standing in circles around the fire, waiting for the music to start so they could sing some songs. As the songs began, Harry quickly realized these weren't the chants he knew. Instead, these were bouncy and songs with meaning and dance to them.

After the first song, where he was a little uncomfortable, Harry relaxed and let himself have fun, joining in. He wasn't the only one making mistakes, and he saw Oliver fumbling out the corner of his eye while Aspen took everything with grace. Harley and Evie were laughing away with the other first years, just having fun. Once they had sung a few songs, they headed inside to eat. None of the main lights in the dining room were on. Instead, it was lit by the hundreds of candles they had made that the seniors had charmed to float. It reminded him strongly of Hogwarts. It seemed different but no less beautiful.

That night Isur followed him upstairs with the plant and candles while he carried the crown. Harry layed them out on the top of his dresser, promising himself to water the plant as Agnar followed and did the same.

"We need to find a way for you to get me if you need me. Harry promise me if something is wrong, summon Hedwig and send her to wake Nymira and Luke. Please"

"I will."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow" the fae turned and headed out.

"That was strange."

"I had to ground earlier", Harry muttered, a little embarrassed. That was twice in a short space of time. It wasn't normal for a Human. "And I told them some stuff about the Dursleys, stuff I never told anyone."

"He's just worried. If there is a problem, I will wake them too. Your, my friend Harry and I don't want something to happen either."

"I know it's just hard. I'm used to looking after myself."

"Don't worry, we'll get you there" Agnar smiled, and Harry nodded.

"You know you can talk to me too, right. It has to be hard being here, not knowing who wanted you bitten. Knowing they haven't found out yet."

"It is a bit. I just wish they could question everyone in our year or the school. But the rules won't let them without suspicions. I was out on the balcony; it could have been anyone."

"Yeah, something isn't right, though, and it has to be found out, right?"

"Yeah," Agnar smiled, and they turned to get ready for bed and go to sleep.

"I'm glad your, my roommate", Harry whispered as he settled in bed.

"Same", he heard Agnar whisper back.

Tuesday 2nd February

Harry lay in that morning before getting up and dressing in his jeans, lopappeysa jumper and a t-shirt. He then took a quiet walk down to the dining room, grabbing a snack from the tables. He wondered briefly where Isur, Agnar and the others were but guessed they had their own stuff to do. Richard was there. But he was sitting on his own, and after the other day, Harry wasn't about to approach the werewolf again just yet.

After eating, he headed back to the dorm to try and muddle through the rest of his homework. He was finding it more manageable. He wasn't tired anymore and was going to bed with the others. Although some things were still a challenge at times. Harry had a feeling it would be like that for the next month or two before he settled in ultimately. They were right, though. The magic was more effortless, working with larger objects than smaller ones. It was the control needed. The work was challenging. It always had been at Hogwarts; just now, it was challenging without being overwhelming. He was always so busy. There wasn't time to worry about Hogwarts or get up to mischief or worry about mysteries going on in the school.

It was lunch when he finished his work and frowned when he still hadn't seen anyone. More often than not, there were always people in and out of the dorm, especially on the weekend. Standing, he made his way back to the dining room, and it was there he found the rest of his dorm mates and friends.

"Agnar, there you are!" Harry quickly made his way over.

"Awake, are you now, sleepyhead."

"What?"

"You were sound asleep. Even Isur popped his head around the door, but you didn't wake. We decided to just let you sleep till at least lunch. We've been exploring more of the repository and seeing what books we can find."

"O, I didn't check there."

"Tired were you" Ruby smiled.

"No idea. Do feel better for it though" Harry smiled.

"Cool. What are you all doing this afternoon?" Jessica looked around. "I'm finishing off the last of my work, so I can start fresh tomorrow without a problem."

"Same" the others all nodded.

"Done mine after I woke when I couldn't find anyone. I got some letters to write, though."

"You also have an appointment with Dr White", Isurs voice came from behind, and Harry groaned, making the others laugh.

"Seriously. It's a Tuesday! I was there three days ago and will be there in 4 days. Can't it wait?" that just seemed to make the others laugh more, and even Isur couldn't help smiling.

"Your not getting out of it, Harry. Trust me, I know how you feel, though," Jessica stated, and Harry looked at her. The shape-shifter just smiled and tapped her wrist. Harry's eyes went wide, but he nodded; the message understood. She was also on medical watch.

"So what's it going to be. Letters first or evil doctors you can then write and rant about." even Harry couldn't help laughing at that one. Sighing, he stood and waved to the others as he walked.

"Might as well get it over and done with. Seriously though, why?"

"I'm not sure how much you remember from our talks when you were grounding. But we need to talk to Dr White, and you mentioned something about talking to your own doctor as well."

"Yeah, I did tell Erlendur, and he said he would update him. Guess I do need to talk, though. Sometimes I really hate being under the OSS."

"Not all the time, though?"

"No. But it is just so frustrating."

"Would be" Isur smiled.

The infirmary was quiet, but Luke and Nymira were waiting for them there with Dr White. Remarkably quickly, they were led along to the cubical before the Doctor looked at them.

"Alright, I am confused. Harry doesn't look sick, so what is the problem?"

"Harry grounded again yesterday", Isur responded.

"Ah", the Doctor went to get a chair before sitting down. "Harry, what were you told about grounding? Unfortunately, we haven't really had a chance for this conversation."

"Not a lot. Dr Vang said to talk and contact him so he could see me when we found out. I don't think he thought we would find out so soon. I know it is rare for a human to need help."

"Probably not. I have been in contact with Dr Vang, and he's okay for me to explain this. But he will be coming to see you after this. Probably this weekend.

"Now everyone grounds. It's the way they do it that is different. In creatures, Alphas feel a deep-seated need to help others and look after them, or most do. Betas, it depends on their personality, just the same as everyone else.

"Omegas at the heart of it want someone to watch out for them and look after them. As for Humans, some find they can ground on their own doing something they enjoy. Others, though, need help. There is a debate on why that is. Some think it shows who is most likely to receive a creature inheritance. Others believe it is to do with your personality.

"However, no matter creature or human, Alpha or Omega all agree everyone needs to ground. Especially those who are powerful."

"Why?"

"Because your magic is more closely tied to your emotions. So when everything builds on top of you, you could lose control of your magic. For Omegas, not so much humans; some have done some real damage when they have lost control before. So everyone agrees that no matter who you are, if a magical needs help grounding, it isn't looked down upon."

"But it isn't normal for humans needing help!"

"It's not typical, no. But it isn't unheard of. Especially for someone as powerful as you. Was the grounding the same as before?"

"Yes," Luke nodded.

"Harry, it might not be that the majority need help. But that doesn't mean you are the only one who does. But which is better. That we leave you alone and someone gets hurt. Or we help, and no one does, and you benefit from it. Earlier, you said the grounding helped. Made so everything going on was at a manageable level instead of being overwhelming. Isn't that a good thing?" Nyrmia took over.

"Guess", Harry muttered.

"Everyone grounds in different ways. Some need a hug. Others need to help someone who is struggling with grounding. Some people need to sit down and have a good chat while having a solid hug. Others like you need something a bit more. Typically those who are powerful."

"Like holding me down?" Harry had to admit he was sceptical about that part. The talking he got, even if he didn't like talking about his problems.

"Don't get me wrong, Harry, for being so small, you are strong and fast." Dr White smiled. "But I did notice you get lost in things when stuff is troubling you. Then you run when something startles you. Holding you down to talk it out is the only way to get through that way."

"I wasn't running yesterday" Harry looked at Isur.

"No, but you were getting lost in your memories and jumped when I started to help. We were on the floor, though, and you probably felt safe enough. You weren't that far gone to react, seeing everything as a threat."

"Harry, there is a debate. Some think that you are born with all your personality and life decided. So in this argument, you were born needing the help to ground. Others like myself believe that it is how you were raised and we make our own choices. In this argument, you need assistance due to not being taught to share your problems when you were younger.

"But I am also of the belief we continue to grow and develop as we get older. Following that, it might be that as you learn to cope and share what is going on, we might not need to hold you down and force you. You might be able to sit and just hug, talking it out. Even with that, though there might be times when you lose control of your magic, that might still happen.

"That is the case for everyone in the world. If Isur, Nymira, Luke, or I started to lose control of our magic tomorrow due to our emotions. Every teacher in this school would not hesitate to hold us down and force us to get that control and talk about it. You might get to the point of just sitting; you might not. No one knows what the future holds, and you can't worry about it. You'll drive yourself mad, and this isn't something that can be forced."

"I hate talking."

"We know. You are also strong, fast and very slippery" Dr White smiled. "Your going to give us the run around when you are older, that is for sure. There is nothing wrong with needing help, and the OSS is all about helping. Both in watching your health but also growing as a person. They are going to be there watching over and helping your whole life. That is something to get used to. However, they also won't step in unless you are not coping."

Harry nodded at that. It all went along with someone else watching and things getting too much and not coping. He had sometimes felt like that at Hogwarts and had even broken down on Ron once. He hadn't been able to help. But Oliver had when Ron had got him. Oliver had held him then as well. That had been first year before they confirmed he was under the AMS. The people who were supposed to cope without help through anything. After that, if someone brought up what happened, it was brushed off as adapting to Hogwarts. Harry now wondered if it was a hidden sign of being a sensitive or telepath. But he was also learning that the AMS's front in England probably wasn't the most healthy for anyone.

"You will learn more and understand more as you get older, Harry. This is something we teach in stages. More will be told to you both after your creature inheritance and when you turn 14. We don't expect you to know everything right away. You are still learning and growing. There are ways to learn to stave off becoming ungrounded for when you are alone as an adult. To help until you can get someone to help you ground. But we only teach them to someone who is over 14. Until then, the chances of you not having someone around are slim."

"Right" Harry nodded slowly.

"14. I promise I will explain then. Or Dr Vang will since it will be the summer. I bet he will re-iterate that when you see him."

"I used to get annoyed with people saying when you are older, Dumbledore did that. But you, you don't say when you are older. You say when. Dr Vang said some of the things they needed to do when you are this age or when you have your inheritance. We don't know when that is, but I know what I am waiting for. It helps."

"We'll note that" Isur nodded. "As best we can, we'll do that."

"Good", Dr White stated. "Now, I will write this talk up and send it to Dr Vang. I will also talk to the headmistress to make sure he is here this weekend or next. In the meantime, baths once a month. Go see Isur or Luke if you need anything. Harry often just a simple hug can help stop emotions from spiralling and getting out of control. Before you reach the grounding stage. Now you are both planning on being there Saturday night for the full moon?"

"Yes," Isur and Luke nodded.

"Good, just making sure. Now off you go" Harry jumped up and tried not to run out of the cubical and the infirmary. He mustn't have been too successful since the rest of his mentor family were smiling as they followed him out.

"Go on, go write to your friends and see your dorm mates." Isur laughed. Harry just scowled at him before running off.

Dear Ron

Hows school being going? A lot has happened here, and I'm busy all the time. Love it, though. I'm getting along great with my dorm mates, especially Agnar, my roommate. Richard is still funny, though, but he leaves me alone. Barnabas Moonlord is a lot more cautious than Malfoy, but then again, the rules are in my favour here and not his.

How did Se Ridica handle imbolic? I bet you didn't even notice hue. Here was fun. Everyone cleaned the dorms. And the brownies that help were given the day off, so all the senior students did the cooking. We went for a walk in our mentor groups to this well to say prayers. Then we had a bonfire with songs and a feast. It was nice, actually, and it really helped me become close to my mentor family.

We found out how I ground, so my primary Doctor from the OSS is coming to see me this weekend. They've told me some stuff about grounding. But the rest has to wait until we how if I will keep the same method as we get older. I usually hate not knowing stuff. However, since they gave me reasons and a point when I will know, I'll accept it for now.

What clubs and that have you joined anyway? How are Fred, George, and Ginny doing?

Harry

Hey Hermione

How's Merlin going? Did they do imbolic there? We had a choice, and it was lovely. A walk to a well for preys with your family, a bonfire and feast. It was a busy two days, so we had the day off after from lessons. We also discovered how I ground, so now I have a meeting with my primary Doctor this weekend. Apparently, there is more to grounding them than we know. But they won't tell us until we are older and see if we will keep the same grounding methods or not. Usually, I would hate that, but the way they explained it made it easier. I'll wait.

What have you been up to? And how are you doing without the library in the evening to research for school? Does Merlin even have a library? What about the BCS? Hows are your friends and that Moonlord Vampire? Mines being leaving me alone for the most part. Although the rules are on my side as long as I leave him alone.

I'm starting to get used to you both not being in school here. The first week or two, I often looked around for you. Still, I've stopped now. Having some of the others from Hogwarts here has helped, and I'm making friends with them. This is strange when you think one is a Slytherin and the other a Hufflepuff.

We got lucky and have someone from every house. But with the entrance being on personality. It's funny how similar we are in some ways and yet so different in others. It shows how much the fighting or house system at Hogwarts separated you. Maybe the house system wasn't the entire problem. But the fighting and no way to mix outside of it.

Anyway, I'm going now as I got some exploring to do. Have fun.

Harry