A/N: Here's chapter four. I'm sorry it took me so long to update! We just started remodeling the house and there was absolutely no way for me to reach the internet. Additionally, a lot had been going on within the family, mainly dealing with a death in the family. So, I got a little behind, but hopefully, I will get back on track. the next chapter should be up very soon. Either later tonight or tomorrow. Anyhoo, thanks to all who had not given up just yet and sorry again. So without further ado, the story.
I don't own Samurai 7
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Katsushiro walked silently along the path in the forest until he heard the sound of pounding in the distance. The further closer he got, the sound became clearer. As he approached the small opening in the forest, he was greeted by the sight of the village's secret weapon. The large wooden and metal frame creaked as the villagers diligently constructed it.
"Hey, Katsushiro-dono! Over here!"
The young samurai looked around and had to crane his neck to see who had called his name. Sitting on top of the huge mechanism was Heihachi. He waved cheerily to Katsushiro and motioned for the young man to join him. Katsushiro nodded and began to climb the weapon. He found it a bit more difficult than he thought, but soon, he was sitting beside Heihachi.
"So, what brings you over this way?"
"Shichiroji-dono asked for you a little while ago."
"Oh right, I'm going to go over some of the villagers' weapons. Thanks Katsuchiro-dono…But uh, did you want to ask me something else?"
Katsushiro stared at him blankly a moment before he realized he was staring at Heihachi.
"I'm sorry, Heihachi-dono…I was just wondering about something. You said that this is the first time you've actually taken lives in battle, right?"
The other samurai looked at him questioningly a moment before he resumed grinning. He nodded his head slowly.
"That's right. So really, we're kind of in the same boat, aren't we?"
He watched the younger samurai look down in an almost ashamed manner. Katsushiro was positive they were nothing alike.
"I don't think so…Sensei and the others respect your skills and you yourself seem fine in combat…whereas I…I seem to fail in so many areas. Even though this is your first time killing, you still have the scent of the battlefield."
"Oh, is that what this thing is about…I see…Well, you know Katsushiro, even though I didn't kill anybody with my blade, I have seen the battlefield and wouldn't be surprised if that in itself lent to something."
The young man sighed in defeat. True, he was now experiencing battle, but he was still so far behind. The others had all seen combat beforehand, and this is the first time he had actually seriously considered the gravity of the situation.
"I lack this scent because I have never seen battle…Never once have I set foot near a battlefield. I never even had to really draw my sword seriously. I always thought that because I had trained diligently and could use a sword, I took that to mean that I was a warrior. I see now that I am nothing close."
Heihachi continued to smile only now in a much more gentle manner. He nodded his head sympathetically. In some ways, he kind of understood what Katsushiro was feeling. However, he also had age and experience on his side. He had no doubt that with just a little time, Katsushiro would be much closer.
"You're being too hard on yourself. Your still young. You can't beat yourself up too much. I mean, you were born after the great wars. You should be thankful that you did not have to grow up with death all around you. The others are much oler than you and lived through the tumultuous times of war. It's not your fault there aren't any wars going on at the moment."
He watched Katsushiro closely. His companion was still staring down at nothing particular, but seemed as though he meant to talk many times and then decided against it.
"Katsushiro-dono? Are you thinking about that scout the other night?"
The young samurai slowly nodded his head. He remembered back to what that man's expression as the shell fell away and revealed the dead body.
"Does everybody look like that when they die?"
The rice-loving samurai tried not to but let a small chuckle escape.
"Well, when they're not expecting to be killed off that way. You can't let yourself be caught up in what they look like when they die. That's kind of pointless because they're dead. They can't do anything about the way they look."
Katsushiro blushed at the light amusement Heihachi seemed to be getting. However, that jovial attitude made him wonder. The Heihachi saw before him seemed so different from the Heihachi he saw that night.
"Heihachi-dono? May I ask you something? You don't have to answer it if you don't want to, but…"
"I don't mind. Go ahead and ask."
"You always seem like you're in such a good mood, but other times, you seem…different. Like when Honoka betrayed the group and especially with Manzo. Why? Do you just ignore how they plead and their expressions?"
"I see…"
"I-I'm sorry! That was rude of me to ask."
"No, no. This is fine. It just makes me so angry when people betray others. That is something in my mind that is unforgivable. People rely and trust in someone and then that person just goes and throws it back. They trample over something that should be honored and respected. As you noted, I'm normally easy-going about most things, but betrayal…that is something I cannot remain calm about."
Heihachi studied Katsushiro to see what he thought. The other samurai stared at Heihachi wide-eyed.
"What the matter, Katsushiro? You look worse than when we first started this conversation."
"My apologies…it's just that, I understand why you get angry with something like that, but it makes me realize all the more the immaturity of my actions."
The other samurai tilted his head curiously. Katsushiro took a deep breath and explained.
"You get angry with things that are worthy to be angry over. Betrayal…it is not honorable by any means and such disregard for others trust merits such hatred. However, when I killed that soldier…I was not angry because of the betrayal…I was angry because…because he assumed I was weak and I wanted nothing more than to prove him wrong. I did not stop to consider my actions. I recklessly attacked not because I was determined to protect the village, but it was for myself…"
Here, Katsushiro turned his head to the side ashamed. Just speaking of it caused him so much embarrassment. He chanced a glance at Heihachi who was still smiling softly. Even though he was ashamed to even think about it, talking about it with somebody was actually a relief.
"I see…But who's to say that my anger is just and your's is not? Besides, I fail to believe you struck down that soldier just for your own purpose. You probably feel that way, but those feelings of anger, those feelings of weakness, were most likely because you did not want to fail the village and a certain water priestess. You were angry at being called weak because that would mean you were not strong enough to protect and you want nothing more than to protect these people."
The younger samurai stared in disbelief, but somewhere, Heihachi could see a faint light of hope. He did not want Katsushiro to be so burdened about something not worth taking up as a burden.
"Just remember, Katsushiro, killing is a burden we bear, however, we cannot be expected to bear the burden of feelings in a fleeting moment. Emotions are naturally stimulated by the immediate circumstance. We can't control those feelings…Well, maybe Kyuzo-dono can, but he is kind of a black sheep."
He could not help but lightly chuckle at the thought of the silent samurai going around lamenting his emotions to ever person he met. Katsushiro stared amusedly. He sometimes wondered what went on in his companion's mind.
"Thank you, Heihachi-dono."
"Sure, anytime, Katsushiro."
Katsushiro was about to start climbing down, but, paused. He looked back at Heihachi who was still sitting comfortably.
"May I ask you one more thing?"
"Of course."
"You briefly mentioned that your anger might not be just…Why do you say that?"
It was now Heihachi's turn to appear a little ashamed. He recalled the two time he let his emotions and anger get the better of him and how Kambei just let them go without any punishment.
"While a part of me greatly objects to Kambei-sama's mercy, another part of me sees his point. As difficult as it may seem, I cannot clump everybody into the same position as me or other warriors. We all do what we have to do to survive…While I cannot see betrayal as a means of survival, it makes sense."
Katsushiro looked at Hiehachi intently. He did not understand what was being said.
"You see, Katsushiro-dono…Within every person is the basic desire to live. For some, they are willing to surrender that desire for their honor. These people are the ones whom we respect and honor. However, how many people can be said to have done this? Samurai, yes, but that's the whole thing. We are samurai. We are trained to do this. For us, it is the only way to live…but what about the other people? What about the farmers? To do anything remotely like that is completely foreign to them. Kambei-sama may be right when he asks who is able to be judge over others."
Heihachi stared up at the sky longingly. He unconsciously placed his hand over his heart.
"It just becomes difficult. It's difficult to overcome the scars left behind. Once you have experienced it, you no longer want anything to do with it and when it keeps showing up…I want to get rid of it immediately. I want to live life too. I don't want to die because of betrayal."
He continued to stare at the sky while Katsushiro stared at him. He was not sure what "it" was, but he understood that it was something that held great significance to Heihachi. He also felt much lighter. He was not alone. There are others who question their beliefs and felt divided. Katsushiro stood up carefully and bowed deeply to the other samurai who refocused on the young samurai.
"Thank you, Heihachi-dono. You have helped me so much. I am honored that you shared these things with me. Thank you again."
Heihachi chuckled and scratched the back of his head in an embarrassedly. He just grinned.
"You're welcome, Katsushiro. Oh right, and tell Shichiroji-san that I will be there shortly."
"I will."
With a final bow, Katsushiro carefully made his way down the side of the ballista and was glad when his feet his solid earth. As he walked away, he glanced over his shoulder and saw Heihachi back to work. He smiled and then concentrated on finding Shichiroji.
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A/N: So what did you think? I tried to capture some of Heihachi's feelings about betrayal without spoiling stuff. I know I didn't spoil anything since I'm not even sure what I wrote. I'm tired and this might not make sense, but I hope it does. It's really hard trying to keep them seperate, but connected in someway. Well, whatever the case, I hope everybody enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! Next up, Shichiroji.