The Time We Had Our First Fight
It's been just over a month since Bella met my parents and I haven't been able to break my smile. I'll admit, I was a little anxious when I brought up going to my parents' house for lunch, unsure how Bella would feel or if we were moving too fast. When she agreed to go I was pleased, wanting her to meet the other two most important people in my life and not knowing how much longer I could fend off my mother before she actually turned up at Bella's door to ogle the woman who I've fallen in love with.
When Bella had had a full-blown meltdown about my parents knowing about our previous sexual arrangement, I'd never seen anything cuter. I know she felt awkward but there really wasn't any need to. My parents are old enough and wise enough to know that people have sex, it's part of life, and they would never dream of bringing it up. I couldn't help but laugh at her complete mental spiral before eventually managing to calm her down, convincing her the day wouldn't be as bad as she imagined.
Luckily, I was proven right and we had a great afternoon with my parents. Neither of them were too embarrassing, except for my mother who decided to bring out the fucking baby album. Initially, I was a little mortified at the prospect of Bella seeing my childhood photos but she'd looked so happy when my mom brought out the album and her eyes were all big and her cheeks all pink and when she did that little fucking smile at me, I couldn't say no. Thankfully, she wasn't too horrified by what she saw.
I also got to play the piano for Bella, something I never even thought about doing before. When she'd initially brought up the idea of me playing for her, I was nervous. It's been years since I sat down behind the keys and I didn't want to look like a fucking tool in front of her. But, as soon as I started to play, it was as if I'd never been away. The music was still there, hidden at the back of my mind. She'd looked so fucking impressed I can't deny the pride I'd felt. Then she'd told me it was hot watching me play and I had to actively restrain myself from taking her right then and there.
Since then, life has been pretty uneventful. I've been super busy at work so we haven't seen too much of each other and recently Bella was offered the chance to help on another book launch which she seems really excited about. But tonight, it's just the two of us. She's coming over to my apartment and we're going to have the chance to spend some proper time together, just her and me.
When I arrive home from the hospital I see that Bella will be here any minute. I quickly head into my room, stripping out of my clothes and throwing on some sweatpants and a hoodie. Once I'm dressed, I head into the living room, closing the curtains and switching on the lamps. I'm just turning on the TV when I hear a knock on the door. My stomach flutters as I make my way over to answer it, throwing the door open to reveal Bella, standing in the hallway with an overnight bag.
"Hey," She says, smiling brightly at me.
"Hey baby," I say, wrapping my arms around her and giving her a kiss. "How was your day?" I ask her.
"It was good," She says, dropping her bag by the door. "Long though," She tells me.
"I think...you need takeout and a glass of wine," I tell her, holding her hands in mine as I walk back into the kitchen, heading to the fridge.
"That sounds amazing," She says with a groan, tipping her head back. I let go of her hands once I reach the fridge, grabbing her bottle of wine that I placed there yesterday and popping the cork. I pour two glasses before handing her one.
"Cheers," She says, clinking her glass to mine.
"Cheers" I reply, sipping the amber liquid and looking at her over the rim of my glass. "So what takeout do you fancy?" I ask her.
"I would kill for a pizza," She says. I chuckle a little, pulling out my phone and scrolling to the right contact.
"Pizza it is then. Usual?" I ask her.
"Please," She says. I ring through the order before telling her it will be ten minutes.
"Wanna find something to watch?" I ask her. She nods, following me into the living room and sitting down on the couch. I pull her into my chest, inhaling the smell of her shampoo and washing powder, not realizing how much I'd missed her over the last few days. "What do you fancy?" I ask her.
"How about a murder," She says gleefully. "That new series about the wife suspected of killing her husband looks good."
"Okay," I chuckle, "Should I be worried or...?" I tease her.
"Shut up Edward" She giggles. "Anyway, you're not my husband so you should be safe" She teases. I don't know why but for a split second I realize how nice that word sounds coming out of her mouth. I push the thought away, definitely not ready for those mental images yet.
"Okay, spousal murder it is," I say, getting the program ready just before the buzzer goes, signaling the arrival of our food. I hop up off the couch to answer the door before returning with two pizza boxes and the bottle of wine. I hand Bella her pizza before sitting down and taking a bite of my own.
We watch the series in silence for a while, eating our pizza and sipping our wine. It's simple and easy and exactly what I needed after being away from her for the past few days.
"So how was your week?" Bella asks.
"It was okay. Just busy." I tell her with a shrug. "I feel like I'm constantly playing catch-up at the moment."
"Why?" She asks me.
"Just workload, you know?" I say. She nods in understanding.
"How about you? How's your project going?" I ask before taking another bite of pizza.
"It's good actually. I have a new colleague who's been the biggest help" She tells me, smiling brightly.
"Oh yeah? What's she like?" I ask her.
"It's a he. His name is Riley and he's from London, England." She tells me, her eyes lighting up.
Riley? What kind of name is that?
"Oh. Why has he come all the way to Seattle?" I ask her, frowning a little.
"Well, he worked with our sister company that's based in England and he was one of their top guys so our company asked him to come and work with us for a bit" She says.
"So is he here just for a few weeks?" I ask her.
"No I think he's here for like...6 months?" She says, "Maybe longer if they decide to keep him on".
I nod in understanding, swallowing my pizza down and feeling a niggle of something in my stomach.
"That's cool" I say quietly.
"Yeah, he's nice. He seems to be very knowledgeable and I couldn't have got some of this project done without him" She tells me.
"That's great" I reply.
Then why doesn't it feel like it?
"So is it just him that's come over or does he have a family?" I ask, forcing myself to eat my pizza and act naturally.
This isn't a big deal. Bella can have male friends without it meaning anything. Look at Emmett and Jasper.
"No just him. I don't think he has anyone special either judging my his hobbies" She tells me.
Oh so maybe he's a bit dorky...that makes me feel a little better.
"What do you mean?" I ask, looking over at her.
"Well, he said he loves to travel, and apparently every year he and a buddy go on a huge road trip for like a month at a time. Last year they went all through Europe, traveling from London through France, Italy, Germany all the way over to like...Bulgaria or somewhere. Apparently, they both love extreme sports too so they did snowboarding in the Alps and sailing or something in the Amalfi Coast." She tells me.
Of course they fucking did.
"Oh right, that's cool" I say, swallowing my food thickly, suddenly not feeling very hungry.
"Yeah and he did his fifth skydive when he went to Australia a few years ago, raising money for this kids charity. He raised over ten thousand dollars for them. Isn't that incredible?" She says, her eyes wide and shining. "I could never do something like that, it would scare the shit out of me." She says, shaking her head a little and turning her attention back to the screen.
"Yeah, incredible" I mumble.
What a fucking dick.
"You okay?" Bella says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, course" I tell her, giving her a smile and taking another bite of pizza. I push the elusive Riley from my mind, focusing instead on the TV and the girl next to me.
Once we've finished our food, we dump our boxes on the coffee table before I pour us another glass of wine. Bella smiles gratefully at me before I pull her into my chest. I nuzzle the top of her head slightly, loving the way she smells. Suddenly, I hear her phone ding from the other room.
"One sec" She says, hopping up off the couch and running to her bag, finding her phone. I hear her laugh loudly and I can't help smiling at the sound.
"What?" I ask as she walks back into the room smiling widely.
"Riley sent me a funny video" She says off-handedly. I feel that same stab in my stomach but decide to ignore it.
So he's got her number...and they text.
I bet he's a fucking registered comedian too just to top everything off.
"Oh yeah?" I ask. She nods before sitting back on the couch and turning her phone to show me. The video shows two hamsters, one lying on the bottom of the wheel, while the other runs and jumps over him. I guess it is kind of funny, but any humor I would find is overshadowed by how fucking happy her face is right now. I force a chuckle before she turns away, lying back on my chest and tapping out a message to this Riley.
I try to give her some privacy, telling myself it's none of my business what she writes or who she writes to, but I can't stop myself glancing down to read the message she's written.
So cute! Look at his tiny feet! - B
That's not too bad.
Then her phone buzzes again and I see a reply from Riley.
Reminded me of our conversation at lunch and made me think of you - R
What conversation at lunch? Why is he thinking of her?
Bella giggles a little before tapping out another message.
Shut up Ri! It was fucking embarrassing! - B
Ri? What? Are they like best buddies now?
The next message makes the stab in my gut turn to a full-blown slice.
;) - R
"Do you not want to watch this?" I ask her, my voice coming out a bit sharper than I meant it to.
"Yeah sorry" She says, putting her phone down and looking back at the screen. She sighs a little as she watches the movie and I try to tell myself that it's because she's comfortable, happy, but what if it's not? What if she's actually thinking about this Riley guy? I mean, he's obviously made quite an impression on her.
I take a deep breath, smelling the scent of strawberries and perfume and washing powder. The smell makes me feel a little calmer, the tension slowly leaving my body.
I'm overthinking. He's just some guy. Right?
We continue to watch the series for a while and I'm quite into it when I feel Bella take my hand that's resting on her tummy, intertwining our fingers. I smile a little at the gesture, feeling my heart do a small flip flop. Then, I feel her other hand start to move up and down, brushing her fingers gently along my arm, making my skin prickle. It feels nice and I sigh a little bit, leaning back further into the couch.
"Edward" I hear Bella whisper.
"Yeah, baby?" I whisper back.
"Wanna go to your room?" She asks. The question immediately makes my groin ache and I can't help the grin that spreads across my face.
"Why? What's happening in my room?" I tease her. I can almost hear her eye roll from here.
"Oh I don't know" She says casually. "I just thought I could use your body as my own personal jungle gym".
"UP!" I say, pushing her forward and almost falling off the couch in my haste to get her into my bedroom. I hear Bella giggle before I grab her hand and yank her up behind me, dragging her with me. I almost run to my room before slamming the door behind us, shoving her into the hard surface, and kissing her hard.
"Mm" Bella moans into the kiss and that little noise makes me feel like my skin is on fire. I deepen the kiss, groaning into Bella's mouth when I feel her tongue swipe across my bottom lip. She wraps her arms around my neck before pushing us backward, walking me towards the mattress. I feel my knees hit the bed before I fall backward, bringing her with me. She lands heavily on my chest, knocking the wind out of me a little.
"Urgh," I grunt.
"Sorry" She whispers.
"Don't be" I mutter, rolling us over so that I'm on top of her, pinning her body to the mattress.
Fuck I missed her. Just a few days without feeling her is too long.
Now that we're here I feel like my body is on fire, mad with need and desperate to feel her wrapped around me. I grab the hem of her shirt, yanking it up and over her head before sliding one hand behind her back and undoing the clasp of her bra. I rip the fabric from her chest before standing from the bed. My hands fly to the button of her jeans, popping it open before wrenching the zipper down and pulling them down her legs. I return a moment later for a panties, leaving her beautifully naked.
Fuck. Mine.
My eyes rake down her body from her hooded eyes, her flushed cheeks, her chest rising and falling quickly under her excited breaths down to her hot, wet center.
"Fuck" I breathe, dropping to my knees before her and taking a long lick. Bella moans loudly above me, her hand flying to my hair, twisting the strands around her fingers. I groan at the feeling before sliding my hands under her thighs, holding her open for me.
She tastes so good.
I alternate between long swipes of my tongue and fast flicks, loving how Bella moans and groans, writhing above me. I hear her starting to pant for air and know she's getting close to release. I slide one hand between her spread legs, sliding one finger into her wet heat while flicking my tongue quickly over the bundle of nerves just above her opening.
"Oh fuck!" Bella cries out, her hands twisting almost painfully in my hair.
I groan loudly, pumping my finger in and out quickly before adding another, curling them until I find that magic spot inside of her.
"Oh yeah, just like that" She moans, her head thrown back, neck extended. I suck hard on her clit while rubbing that spot inside of her and watch as she falls apart in front of me.
"Oh fuuuuuck" She moans loudly, her walls clamping down around my fingers, her thighs squeezing my shoulders. I continue to lap my tongue against her until she whimpers and twitches from the sensitivity. Once she's come down from her high, I stand up, reaching back and yanking my hoodie over my head.
I look down at Bella, still panting heavily from her orgasm as her eyes rake down my body. I quickly shove my sweatpants and boxers down, hearing my hard cock slap against my pelvis.
Fuck. I'm almost painfully hard.
I need her. I always need her.
I crawl back up the bed, grabbing a condom and fixing it to myself before pushing into her in one smooth thrust.
"Urgh" We moan in tandem before I pull out and start a quick, sharp rhythm. I keep my eyes on Bella's face as I jackknife my hips into her, feeling how tight she is around me.
"Oh fuck, you feel so good" I groan before capturing her lips in mine. She tears her mouth away a moment later, breathing heavily.
"Edward" She whimpers "Shit, right there".
Oh yeah. Fucking say my name baby.
I increase the speed of my thrusts until we're a mass of moans and groans, both chasing our orgasms.
"Fuck baby, I'm not gonna last much longer" I pant, "Touch yourself". I take her hand and drag it down her body, squeezing it between us until she can reach that small bundle of nerves. She moans loudly as she starts to circle her clit, her eyes fluttering with pleasure.
"I'm gonna cum" She breathes, her eyes wide and burning into mine.
"Yeah, fucking cum" I groan, slamming into her once, twice, three more times. I watch as her back arches and her mouth opens in a silent scream before my mind goes blank as I fall headfirst over the edge. I groan loudly as I pump my hips sporadically into hers, only breathing again when I finally come down from my high and collapse on top of her. We lie there for a long time, both breathing heavily until I manage to lift myself up and roll to the side.
"Holy shit" Bella said. "That was different. Not that I'm complaining" She says with a giggle.
"What do you mean?" I ask her, my chest still rising and falling quickly with heavy breaths.
"I don't know. You were just more...desperate...than normal." She says with a small shrug, her eyes meeting mine.
I felt more desperate than normal.
"I guess I just wanted you more than I realised" I tell her. She smiles at me before rolling over, cuddling into my chest.
We lie like that for a long time until I hear Bella's breathing even out as she falls asleep. Eventually, I slide my body out from beneath hers, tucking her up in the covers and slipping my boxers on. I head back out into the living room, turning off the TV and grabbing our trash. I'm just turning off the lights when I see Bella's phone lying on the couch. I pick it up, deciding to take it back to my room so she doesn't lose it but as I do, I see it flashes with a message.
Don't look at it. It's private.
It might be from Riley.
So what if it is?
I look at my bedroom door for a moment before pressing on the button to see the message.
You weren't embarrassing, cute maybe, but not embarrassing - R
I read the message again, and then again, before feeling anxiety rise in my stomach. I close Bella's phone and head back into my room. I place it on the nightstand on her side of the bed before climbing back under the covers and flicking off the lights. I lie in the dark for a long time, thinking about the message.
Maybe it was meant innocently? Maybe it was a joke that I'm not privy to?
Or maybe he likes her? Maybe he thinks she's cute as in..attractive cute?
Of course he does. Who would look at Bella and not see that she's beautiful, smart, funny..
Maybe he wants to be with her? Maybe he wants her as more than a friend?
Is that why he's being so helpful with her project?
Does she like him like that? Does she think he's cute?
Does she want to be with him as more than a friend?
Of course, she doesn't. She's with me. And I trust her.
But I've never seen her eyes light up like that about someone before.
Does he not know about me?
I swallow down the thought, feeling bile rise in my throat before turning onto my side and cuddling into Bella, pulling her back against my chest. I try to keep my breathing even, my heartrate steady as I focus on the way she smells, the feeling of her warm skin against mine, her small body melding to my larger one. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to ignore the little voice in the back of my mind.
What if I'm not enough?
The next few days pass uneventfully and Bella doesn't mention Riley. I try to forget about it, the text, the way her face lit up when she got a message from him, the way he sounds like Mr. fucking perfect, but no matter how hard I try, the niggle is still in the back of my mind. On Wednesday, I ask Bella if she wants to come over for the night but she says she can't, saying she's going to be working late on this project.
Does that mean she's working late with Riley?
I don't like the thought of that.
I spend the evening trying to keep myself busy, cooking dinner before watching TV with Jazz. I keep checking my phone, every couple of minutes, but I don't get any messages from her. Eventually, I head to bed, lying awake for hours until I eventually fall into a restless sleep.
By the time Friday rolls around I'm getting antsy. I'm off work today until Tuesday morning so decide to drop Bella a text.
Hey. - E
She replies a few moments later.
Hey - B
I smile when I see her name appear on my phone screen.
So, I'm not working from today until Tuesday and wondered if you wanted to do something? I could come to you or you could come here or... - E
She replies a few seconds later.
Why don't you come to mine? Stay the night? - B
I grin and feel my heart flip flop.
Perfect. Maybe I could meet you for lunch today too. My treat? - E
Love to - B
I smile wide at her message, excited to see her twice in one day.
Okay, I'll meet you outside your office at noon? - E
Perfect - B
Just before noon, I head out of the apartment, heading down to the lobby and hailing a cab. I slide into the backseat before giving the driver the address. Before long, we pull up outside of Bella's office and I climb out of the car, paying the driver. I head over to the building, leaning against the stone, waiting for Bella to come down.
A few minutes pass so I pull out my cigarettes, lighting one and taking a long drag. I smoke for a while, checking the time on my phone and seeing it's gone a quarter past. I stub out my cigarette, sighing a little, thinking maybe something has taken longer than anticipated. When another five minutes go by I decide to head into the building. In the centre of the lobby is a large reception desk.
"Hi, I'm looking for Bella Swan. Are you able to tell me if she's already clocked out for lunch?" I ask the woman on the desk.
"And who are you?" She asks me.
"Oh I'm her boyfriend," I tell her. She nods a little.
"Let me take a look" She says, tapping away on her computer.
"No, she's not clocked out yet. She's probably still in her office." She tells me. "Here, if you take this," she says, handing me a visitors pass, "and sign here," she says, producing a sign-in sheet, "you can go check if you want."
I quickly sign the paper before sliding the visitors pass over my head and heading towards the lift.
"Third floor" The lady on the desk calls to me. I nod before hitting the button for the third floor and watching the doors slide closed. When I reach the right floor I step out. The floor is pretty much empty with everyone most likely at lunch. I head down the corridor, looking into a few rooms on the way, seeing if I can see Bella. Suddenly, I hear a peal of laughter and stop in my tracks.
I'd know that laugh anywhere.
I walk faster, heading towards the laughter before turning a corner and seeing Bella perched on the corner of a desk, laughing her head off at something.
"Bella?" I say softly. She turns to face me, her eyes surprised when she sees me in her office.
"Hi!" She says, her voice surprised as she stands from the desk. As she moves I see a man sitting at the desk she was just perched on. He's slim, tall, fairly young. I suppose some people would describe him as good-looking. I immediately know that this is Riley.
"Oh my god! It's gone twelve!" She suddenly cries. "Edward I'm so sorry! I lost track of time" She says, walking towards me.
"That's okay" I say quietly, ignoring the pang I feel in my gut.
She forgot.
"Hi, I'm Riley" The man says in a British accent as he stands from the desk "and I'm the reason Bella's late to meet you. I'm sorry" He says, his eyes clearly sizing me up as he walks over to me.
So this is the infamous Riley. The Riley who travels the world. The Riley who does fucking snowboarding. The Riley who saves children by jumping out of planes. The Riley who tells my girlfriend that she's cute late at night.
"No worries, I'm sure whatever you were talking about was important" I say as politely as I can. "I'm Edward, Bella's boyfriend" I tell him as cordially as I can muster, holding out my hand for him to shake.
"Pleasure," He says, taking my hand and squeezing harder than necessary. "Well, you're a very lucky man Edward, Bella is one amazing woman." He says, his eyes moving to gaze at her, lingering a little longer than necessary. I feel annoyance bubble in the pit of my stomach but I swallow it down.
"Yes, I am. Very lucky" I reply. Riley moves his eyes back to mine and we stare at each other for a beat longer than necessary.
He wants her and he wants me to know that he does.
Eventually, I pull my eyes away from him. "I guess we should head off" I say to Bella. She nods before grabbing her coat and bag.
"See you later Ri" She says.
"Looking forward to it" He says before Bella follows me out of the room and back down the hallway, stepping into the lift. As we go down to the lobby I feel the bubble of annoyance in my gut turn into the warmth of anger.
Looking forward to it? What the fuck does that mean?
"Edward I'm so sorry" Bella says next to me. "I didn't realise the time, I would never have kept you waiting otherwise." She tells me.
"It's fine." I say quietly before exiting the lift and walking back to the reception desk. I hand back the visitor pass and sign out before walking out onto the street. As soon as I'm outside I take a deep lungful of air, feeling it clear my head a little. I turn to look at Bella.
"So where do you want to go for lunch?" I ask her.
"Um...I don't mind" She says quietly, her eyes watching me.
"Ladies choice" I tell her, forcing a smile on my face. I don't want to ruin the little time we have together before she heads back to the office.
Back to fucking Riley.
"There's quite a good sandwich bar down the road." She suggests. I nod, smiling before taking her hand in mine and heading down the road with her. At lunch, I begin to forget about the Riley incident, relaxing in Bella's company. We both order a chicken sandwich before grabbing a table in the corner.
"I really am sorry I was late" Bella says, taking my hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.
"That's okay. I know you're busy with this project." I say with a small smile. "How's it going by the way?" I ask.
"It's going really well. Riley's come up with some amazing ideas for the book launch. I don't know what I would have done without him" She says with a smile. I feel my stomach drop a little when she speaks his name.
Of course he did. He'll probably solve world hunger after lunch.
"Oh yeah?" I say, forcing myself to swallow. "He seemed very taken with you earlier" I add quietly.
I'm a fucking masochist.
"Yeah, well he says I'm his prodigy," She says, rolling her eyes a little, "But I think he just says it to make me feel better" She says with a giggle. I nod a little.
Prodigy my ass. The only thing that guy wants to teach her is fucking French kissing. He probably learned it when he visited the fucking French Riviera.
Suddenly, her phone buzzes and she looks at the screen. I see a small smile cross her face before she chuckles slightly, tapping a message back.
It's him. I can feel it in the way my blood boils.
I wait for a moment until she's done, watching as she places her phone back on the table.
"Sorry" She says, looking over at me. "Anyway, tell me about your day? What have you done all morning?" She asks.
"Not much" I say with a small smile. "Just laundry really." I tell her. She nods at me.
God, I sound so fucking boring? Seriously, I have a morning off and all I do is fucking laundry?
Riley would probably have built a fucking well in Africa by now...
Her phone buzzes again and she looks down at it. I see her giggle before she taps away once more.
"Do you need to go?" I ask her, unable to ignore the bile in my throat.
"No no," She says, her eyes meeting mine once more, "Sorry, it's just Riley sending me funny stuff," She says with a shrug.
"Really?" I say, "He only just saw you". I try to keep my voice even, try to not rise to it.
"Yeah I know, but he's probably having lunch on his own or something," She says shrugging a little and biting into her sandwich.
Maybe.
Then why do I feel like he's texting you so that I see?
Riley texts Bella twice more and by the time lunch comes to an end I can feel the warmth of anger starting again, churning in the pit of my stomach. I walk Bella back to her office before she turns to face me.
"So I'll see you later then" She says, smiling up at me.
"Yeah, text me when you're on your way home and I'll come over" I say. She nods before leaning up and giving me a soft kiss.
"See you later" She whispers. I nod, giving her one final kiss before she heads into the building, looking over her shoulder and giving me a small wave. I wave back, staring after her before forcing myself to turn away.
She's going back to Riley.
She's going to spend the afternoon with him.
She's going to laugh with him again.
He's going to look at her like that again.
I force my mind away from Riley as I hail a cab and head back towards my apartment. As the car speeds away from Bella's office, that lingering question whispers in my ear again.
What if you're not enough?
By the time the evening rolls around I've driven myself mad with questions. It's all I can think about, all I can wonder about, even trying to keep myself busy does nothing to help. My mind plays back Bella's laughter over and over again, the way her head was thrown back, the way she was perched on Riley's desk, the way he looked at her, wanted her. I could tell he was thinking about being with her, imagining it, picturing it. Just the thought of it makes me feel like I might punch the fucking wall. Before I can cause any actual damage to my apartment my phone buzzes.
Hey. I'm home - B
Within minutes I'm grabbing my bag and heading out the door. I press the button for the lift, tapping my foot anxiously as I head down to the lobby. I walk out onto the street and hail a cab, throwing myself into the back of the car before heading off into the night.
The drive over seems to take longer than normal and I tap my hand against my cigarettes, my mind swimming with images of Riley smiling at Bella, laughing with Bella, her smiling at him, her cheeks blushing for him. When I finally arrive at her building I feel like a mad man, throwing myself out of the car and jogging into the building. I take the lift to her floor before stalking down the hall and knocking on her door. A moment later, she opens the door and I see her face.
"Hey" She says with a smile.
She's here. She's not with him.
I step into the apartment, dropping my bag to the floor and kicking the door closed behind me. I slam my mouth to hers, my hands going to her hair, keeping her head fused to mine.
Air. She's like air.
I feel Bella hesitate for a moment before returning the kiss, moaning slightly. My hands grab her hips, pulling her body flush to mine before they slide around to her ass, lifting her in the air. She squeaks in surprise before wrapping her legs around my hips and her arms around my neck. I force my tongue into her mouth, tasting her on my lips as I stalk towards her bedroom, kicking the door closed behind me.
I drop her onto the mattress before grabbing the hem of her shirt, yanking it up and over her head. I slide my hand behind her back, twisting my wrist to undo the clasp on her bra. As soon as the fabric is gone from her body I drop my head to her chest, kissing, licking and biting my way across her breasts.
So soft. So perfect.
My hands fly to the button on her pants, ripping it open before dragging them down her legs. I return a moment later for her panties, pulling them down so quickly, I drag her towards me with the force. Bella lets out a surprised moan before I lean away from her, ripping my own sweater over my head and shoving my jeans and boxers down. I can hear that my breathing is elevated as I lean over and grab a condom, fixing it to myself.
Need to feel her. Need to know she's mine.
I push into her in one smooth thrust causing Bella to gasp loudly. I start a quick rhythm, wrapping my arms around her torso, pinning her body under mine as I tuck my head into her neck, inhaling her scent.
Mine.
I thrust harder, drawing moans and groans from Bella's mouth. I reach back with one hand and pull her legs around my hips, changing the angle of my thrusts.
"Oh fuck, Edward!" She cries as I thrust into her harder.
My name. My girl. Mine.
I wrap my large hand around her thigh, pulling one of her legs further back, opening her up for me more.
"Oh shit!" She cries breathily. "Right there!"
Only I get to hear those noises. Only I get to do this to her. Mine.
I thrust harder and faster keeping a brutal pace. Bella starts letting out breathy high-pitched moans and I feel her walls fluttering around me, making my vision go blurry.
"Urgh...gonna...cum" She gasps out as I slam into her once, twice, three more times.
It's me doing this to her. Me who makes her feel like this. Mine.
"FUCK!" She screams out, cumming hard and spasming around me. She's so tight I feel my breathing stop before I let out one long groan as I cum hard. My vision goes white and I cling to her body as if she'll somehow anchor me. When I come back to earth I hear my own heavy breathing mixed in with Bella's panting breaths.
Fuck...
As I come back to my senses, I move off of Bella and dispose of the condom, scrubbing a hand over my face.
"Fuck Edward, what was that?" Bella says breathlessly.
"I don't know" I say quietly. "Just missed you I guess." I tell her before sitting up and grabbing my clothes off the floor. I thought being with her would make me feel better, would make me feel like Riley wasn't a problem, but now I just feel dirty, pathetic.
"I'm going to order dinner." I tell her as I throw my clothes back on, needing to get out of the room. I head out of her bedroom into the kitchen, leaning against the counter and closing my eyes.
Bella's right, what the fuck was that? Some shitty, pathetic attempt to prove that I'm better than this fucking Riley? That I'm a better lover? Better boyfriend? That I'm enough for her somehow?
"Edward?" I hear Bella's voice say, breaking through my thoughts.
"Yeah" I reply, turning to face her.
"What's wrong?" She asks.
Riley.
"Nothing" I say, shrugging a little. She stares at me for a moment. "I just thought you'd want something to eat" I tell her, my eyes looking anywhere but her gaze.
"Well, I do but I want you to talk to me first." She says.
"About what?" I ask.
"About why you're acting weird" She replies. I cross my arms across my chest.
Because I feel like I might lose you to this fucking dick you work with and I just fucked you into the mattress in the hopes of proving I'm better than him.
Because I feel dirty and pathetic and out of control and like I might die every time I think about losing you.
Because I've never felt like this before and I don't know what to fucking do.
"Weird? I'm not acting weird." I say to her, my voice coming out more defensive than I'd like.
"Yeah, you are." She says, crossing her own arms. "You come in here and practically maul me on the doorstep then get up and leave the room hardly saying a word.".
She's right and that pisses me off.
"Oh, well I'm sorry, I guess wanting to have sex with my girlfriend is weird to you" I reply sarcastically. I know I'm being petty but I can't seem to stop. All I can think about is Bella laughing in her office, Riley's eyes on her, how I feel when I imagine losing her to someone else.
"I don't think it's weird Edward, but you never normally behave like this," She says, "I can tell something's wrong."
I'm silent. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to talk about this stuff with her and all I can think and feel is how fucking angry and pathetic I am over Riley.
"You know, ignoring me isn't going to make me go away right?" She says. My eyes flick up to hers and she holds my gaze, her eyes defiant.
"I don't know what you want me to say" I reply, shrugging like this isn't an issue.
"I want you to tell me the truth, I want you to tell me what the matter is," She says, her voice becoming agitated.
Good. I want her agitated. I'm fucking agitated.
Her phone buzzes and she looks at it before looking back at me.
"No, please, answer it. It might be from Riley and you wouldn't want to fucking miss that" I say, the words burning my throat as they leave my mouth.
"What are you talking about?" She says, her eyebrows drawing together.
"Well, you two seem to have developed quite a little friendship, always sending each other little messages and funny videos. God forbid, this" I say, gesturing between us, "us, your fucking relationship, should fucking interrupt."
I'm losing my cool. I know I am. But I can't stop.
"Is that what this is about? Riley?" She asks, her eyebrows flying up to her hairline. "Why are you bothered by Riley?" She asks me.
Because he's better than me. He's funnier, braver, more cultured, more fucking...everything than me and he might take you away from me.
"Oh I don't know, I guess the fact that I had to come into your office to find you because you forgot about our lunch date because you were too busy laughing and joking with him!" I cry. "Or the fact that he practically undressed you with his eyes right in front of me!" I add.
"Look, I apologized for being late but that is complete bullshit, he was not undressing me with his eyes!" She says, her own voice becoming more agitated.
"I know what undressing someone with your eyes looks like and it looks exactly like fucking that," I say, pointing at her.
"Well it wasn't like I was undressing him with my eyes was it?! Surely that's what matters!" She cries at me.
"Oh yeah, I'll remind you of that next time you see a woman undressing me with her eyes!" I shout at her.
It's a low blow but that's what I feel like right now. Fucking low.
"You mean like fucking Tanya?!" She shouts at me.
"Yes, I mean like fucking Tanya! You weren't so unaffected by her behaviour were you?!" I cry.
"That was completely different! Anyway, it's not like I had my tongue shoved down Riley's throat is it?!" She argues.
I'm shocked into silence for a moment but I asked for that and that's what really pisses me off.
"Don't you fucking dare!" I seethe, "I have explained that, I apologized for it, I fucking sat on the fucking carpet outside your fucking apartment all day to make it up to you! So don't you dare make this about me and Tanya when this is clearly about you and fucking perfect Riley!" I shout at her.
"I'm not making it about you and Tanya but I haven't done anything wrong! So why are you fucking yelling at me?!" She shouts back.
"Because I'm fucking angry!" I roar at her. "Because all you talk about is fucking Riley and how fucking amazing he is and how fucking talented he is and how you couldn't fucking live without him!" I shout at her, my words tumbling out of my mouth with no chance of stopping them. "Because some fucking British guy thinks it's okay to text my girlfriend stupid fucking videos and messages telling her how cute she is! Because I have to come and collect you for our lunch date because you're too fucking busy laughing your ass off at his fucking jokes! Because the entire time we were on said lunch date, you were on your phone texting fucking Riley!" I yell.
She moves towards me until our chests are almost touching.
"So you were just trying to prove a point earlier, were you?" She asks, her eyes blazing at me. "When you burst in here and practically fucked me into the mattress?"
"Yes, I fucking was!" I shout back as I tower over her, the anger pulsing through my veins, making me feel fucking invincible and paper-thin at the same time.
"Oh yeah and what was the fucking point?!" She cries.
"That you're fucking mine!" I scream at her.
The words hang heavily between us, the only sound in the room our heavy breathing.
"That I fucking love you. That I fucking...need you" I tell her, feeling like I'm on fire with rage. "That I feel like I can't fucking breathe without you. That the idea of someone else touching you, looking at you, even fucking imagining you makes me want to fucking murder someone. That the idea of losing you makes me feel like I'm fucking dying!" I cry.
We're silent for a moment, the words out of my mouth and fizzing in the air between us.
"Why would you lose me?" She asks quietly.
"I don't fucking know. Maybe you'll meet someone else, someone better, someone who makes you laugh harder or understands you more. Someone who travels the world and fucking snowboards and saves children by jumping out of planes. Someone who's..." I trail off, feeling a lump forming in my throat.
"Someone who's what?" She whispers.
"Someone who's...enough" I whisper, squeezing my eyes closed, the words like acid in my throat. I hear Bella's footsteps moving towards me slowly until I can feel her body pressing into mine.
"Edward" She whispers. I keep my eyes closed, unable to look at her. "Baby, look at me" She says.
I open my eyes and meet her big, brown ones.
"That's never going to happen" She says certainly.
"You don't know that." I whisper. "You can't promise that"
"No I can't, but can you promise me that you won't meet someone better, someone prettier, funnier, smarter, hotter?" She asks. "No, of course, you can't, but that's the risk you take when you love someone."
She places her hands on my chest and it's like every muscle in my body is calling out to her.
"I love you," She says, "Only you. Riley is just a guy I work with, who's been kind enough to help me when I needed it and who occasionally sends me a funny video" She tells me gently. "Do you really think I'm going to run away with someone that sends me videos of fucking hamsters, regardless of how well-traveled or good at snowboarding he is?" She asks. Despite my inner turmoil I can't help but let out a chuckle. "You can't think I'm that shallow".
"No, I guess not" I admit.
"I don't care how many men look at me, imagine me, undress me with their eyes because the only man I'm looking back at is you," She says. "You have to trust me."
"I do trust you, I just..." I trail off, unsure how to word it.
"You just don't trust Riley" She finishes for me. I nod a little, ashamed of how fucking pathetic that sounds.
"You don't have to trust Riley" She says, "But if you trust me then you should know that if he ever made an inappropriate move I would knee him the fucking balls," She says. I laugh a little.
She probably would as well.
"I love you" She whispers. "I'm sorry I didn't notice how you were feeling, I'm sorry that I made it worse by not seeing it from your side" She tells me. "I guess I was just excited someone saw the potential in me." She explains.
"I love you too" I whisper back. She kisses me softly, making me feel like all is right in the world again. "I'm sorry" I tell her when we pull away. "I shouldn't have said some of those things."
"I shouldn't have said what I said either" She tells me. "I'm sorry too".
We're quiet for a long time, just sharing kisses and confessions and whispered declarations. Eventually, I pull back from her and look into her eyes.
"So what do we do now?" I ask quietly.
"Well, I think we just had our first fight" She says, tilting her head to look at me. "And we both made it out alive" She adds.
"We did" I nod.
"And there's no need to bury either of us under the terrace, which is one up from that couple the other night" She giggles. I chuckle at her, nodding once more.
"So...how about we rewind to just after you gave me one of the best orgasms of my life and order that takeout you mentioned?" She asks. I can't help but chuckle a little before I nod.
"Okay. I think I can cope with that." I say, giving her another soft kiss. "So what do you want to eat?" I ask her.
"I fancy...Thai" She says. I nod before ringing through the order and telling her thirty minutes. "So..." She says.
"So...as we had our first fight...does that mean we get to have makeup sex?" I ask her, making her giggle and realising it's the best sound in the world. She pretends to think for a moment making me smile.
"Hmmm, I guess it does, yeah." She says with a grin. "Although I don't know if you could top your earlier performance," She says, giggling a little.
"Let's find out shall we?" I tell her, before flipping her over my shoulder making her laugh. I stalk back into the bedroom before dropping her on the mattress. We both quickly strip out of our clothes before Bella grabs the back of my head, bringing her mouth to mine.
"I love you," She says, her voice breathy. "I can't breathe without you either," She tells me. Hearing her say those words makes me feel lightheaded and I kiss her harder, moaning into her mouth when I feel her pass me a condom. I pull away from her mouth, tearing open the condom and fixing it to myself before I thrust into her in one smooth motion.
"Fuck" She says, a beautiful smile crossing her face as her eyes meet mine. I smile back, feeling lighter than I have in days.
"How do you want me?" I ask her, moving slowly in and out of her.
"Make love to me" She moans. "Make me yours".
Hearing her tell me that makes me feel like my heart might explode and that's when I realise, that's the difference. She might laugh with other guys, she might be impressed by them but she still came home to me. She still wants me to make love to her because I'm the only one who can - because I'm the only one she loves.
I immediately pull almost all the way out of her before sinking back in. Bella lets out a breathy moan, throwing her head back as she clings to my shoulders and holds on as if her life depends on it. I move slowly, feeling every inch of her as I move in and out, drawing moans and groans from both our mouths. The feeling makes my head spin and I press my forehead to hers, trying to ground myself somehow.
"I need you too." She pants. "I need you more than air".
I moan at her words, feeling myself losing control.
"I want you more than anything" She continues, moaning as I take her hands in mine, pinning them on either side of her head. "I want you more than everything".
"I want you more than everything too" I whisper. "I love you" I groan.
"I love you" She breathes, her moans coming out higher than before.
"Fuck, baby" She pants, her breathing elevated as I continue to pump my hips into her. I watch her expressions as I move above her, watching how her brow pulls together in concentration, how her teeth find purchase on her bottom lip when I push slightly harder, how her eyes flutter when I tilt my hips just the way she likes. I pull one of her thighs towards her chest, trapping it between my chest and arm as I start to increase the speed of my thrusts a little.
"Oh...fuck!" She cries out. "That's so fucking good".
"You're so fucking beautiful," I tell her breathlessly, feeling the tingle of my orgasm. I focus all my efforts on searching for that magic spot inside of her. I know I've found it when she lets out a sob into the air.
"Right there?" I say, sweat making my hair stick to my forehead as I build up the pressure between us. She nods her head wildly, her hands pulling my head closer to hers.
"Say your mine" She breathes
"I'm yours" I tell her, my words coming out like a vow. "Say your mine" I repeat the words back to her with a groan.
"I'm yours. I'm always yours" She whispers against my lips. Hearing her say those words are what pushes me over the edge and I cum hard. My own orgasm triggers hers and I feel her tighten around me so much that I almost blackout with the pleasure. When I finally come down from my high, I can still feel her spasming around me, her chest rising and falling against my own.
"I love you" I breathe, my forehead resting against hers.
"I love you too, always" She breathes back, giving me a small smile.
"We should fight more often" I tell her, making her giggle as I roll off of her.
"We really should. I've never felt like that" She says, her eyes finding mine. I grin at her.
"So you like the leg thing huh?" I say, laughing when she scoffs at me and slaps me in the chest.
"Yes, I love the leg thing." She says "I don't even want to know where you learned it" She adds.
"Nowhere important," I tell her. She gives me a soft smile before we both jump at the buzzer going off.
"I'll go, stay here" I say, giving her a soft kiss and throwing my clothes back on. I'm sure the delivery guy will know that I just had a screaming orgasm but I couldn't care less right now. I return to the bedroom with the food, two glasses and a bottle of wine under my arm.
"What are you doing?" She asks with a giggle.
"Having dinner in bed after just having the most amazing orgasm of my existence" I tell her. "Oh and I happen to have the best girl in the world, lying next to me naked," I add making her giggle.
"I don't think I like being naked while you're fully dressed" She says when I put the food and drinks down.
"Not a problem" I say, before quickly stripping out of my clothes once more. She laughs loudly at me as I brazenly crawl back under the covers with her, sharing out the food between us. We both take a bite of our food, moaning at the taste before I hand her a glass of wine.
"So is this what we do?" She asks. "When we fight?"
"What?" I ask her around a mouthful of rice.
"Have amazing makeup sex and then eat takeout in bed." She says.
"Yeah. I think this should be our thing." I nod. She grins at me.
"I like our thing" She says making me smile at her.
"Me too" I reply.
"I love you" She says a moment later. I smile at her.
"I love you too" I reply.
"No but...I love you" She says. "It's always you" She tells me, her eyes boring into mine.
"It's always you too" I tell her. She smiles at me before tucking back into her food. As I watch her sitting in bed, completely naked, the bedsheets wrapped around her waist as she eats takeout, I'm struck by just how much I mean those words.
"You not eating?" She asks, her eyes finding mine.
"Yeah" I reply, tucking back into my food.
Once we're finished, I move the containers away from the bed and pull her into my chest. I hear a buzz from the other room and realize it's Bella's phone. Despite her earlier words, I can't help the pang I feel in my stomach.
"I think that was your phone," I say quietly, sipping my wine.
"I know, wait here," She says, swinging her legs out of bed and walking into the kitchen to grab it. She comes back a few seconds later, crawling back under the covers and taking up her previous position against my chest. She unlocks her phone and clicks on the message. It's from Riley. I can't help but read it over her shoulder.
Hope I didn't make things awkward between you and your boyfriend. I'll make it up to you if I have :P - R
I can't help but sigh a little. I hear her tapping back and can't help but glance over her shoulder at her reply.
Not at all, he's cool like that. No need to make it up to me. Anyway, see you on Monday Ri, have a good weekend. - B
I smile slightly to myself as she closes the message before turning her phone off completely.
"You didn't have to do that" I say quietly, "You should be able to be friends with whoever you want," I tell her, honestly. I might not be a massive fan of Riley, but I do trust her and I don't want to be one of those controlling boyfriends.
"I know I didn't, but I wanted to. I want to spend time with the amazing man I love, without fucking hamsters interrupting us" She says, making me chuckle. "And I know I can be friends with whoever I want, but you're my best friend Edward. You always are." She says, her warm eyes shining into mine.
"You're my best friend too" I whisper before capturing her lips in a soft kiss.
"Now pass me your phone" She says. I look at her surprised but hand over my phone without question. "Let's watch some actual funny videos together. Did I show you that one of the possums that Alice showed me?" She asks, tapping away on my phone and pulling up the video.
"No, you didn't," I say with a chuckle.
"It's fucking hilarious. I nearly peed my pants when she showed me" She prattles away.
At that moment, lying in bed naked, my stomach full of takeout, a glass of wine in my hand and Bella cuddled into my side as she laughs her ass off at this fucking stupid possum video, I have one clear thought. It's fleeting but clear nonetheless.
I'm going to marry this girl one day.