Chapter Forty-two: the Teams

Elder Benjy had come up with a new idea after the name game. There was a small problem with every one of Elder Benjy's new ideas – they were unequivocally horrible. Some were less horrible than others, but they tended to have terrible consequences nonetheless.

"We are going to play timed team charades. Everyone divide into teams, quickly," announced Elder Benjy.

"Team Charades?" asked Remus rather blankly. He stared at Lummy. Sirius threw an arm around his gaping girlfriend and remarked,

"Your uncle is pretty good at coming up with awkward situations."

However, despite their misgivings, the party divided themselves into four teams in an efficient manner. Somehow, Elder Benjy, despite his claim to have no magical ability, had managed to make the teams "integrated", that is, mixed between members of Voldemort's party, and members of Harold and Lummy's party.

Sirius and James had named themselves "the Cyclones", and were teamed with Bellatrix and Rodolphus. They were all united by their hatred for Rodolphus. Except for Rodolphus, of course. But they didn't need him.

"Why'd you marry him if you don't like him?"

"He's a pureblood."

"That's not a very good reason."

"I realize that now, but we'll have good pureblood children who will support Voldemort."

"Well, to each his own. I don't like him."

Rodolphus finally realized what they were all talking about.

"Hey! That's me you're talking about!"

Bellatrix gave a sad look at Sirius and added,

"See – he's slow as molasses in January."

Lummy and Sasha were on a team with Igor Karkaroff and Rabastan Lestrange. Lummy was very much relieved by this, because Lucius Malfoy was trying to catch her eye, and she found his hair too reflective. Rabastan, unlike his brother, was very popular, on account of his fascinating name.

"You know, you're the only Rabastan I know."

"Really? I think I'm the only one I know, too."

"How did your parents think of it?"

"Drugs, of course."

"Which ones did they take?"

Rabastan thought for a moment, and replied confidently,

"All of them. At one time. You know, Luhrmalleen's a pretty funny name too."

"Oh, I know."

"What was with your parents?"

"Well, I really don't know. But now that I come to think of it, they were probably related to your parents."

In the meantime, Sasha and Igor were discussing their ubiquitous Russian heritage.

"I am Russian from my father's side, of course."

"Whom are you descended from?"

"Catherine the Great."

"I thought our family was descended from Tsar Nicholas I?"

"Well, I think that he was descended from Catherine."

"Really? That's absolutely smashing."

As a result, Sasha and Igor had named their team "The White Russians", partially because of their heritage, but also because Rabastan enjoyed drinking himself silly.

Lily and Remus were saddled with Lucius Malfoy and Jude. Jude was not so bad, it was only that he was the youngest player and was not likely to know as much, but Lucius was insufferable. He had decided to bestow "Malfoy family honor" upon Lily and Remus, despite that fact that Lily was Muggleborn. Although this was a good thing, he had also decided that this mere gesture was the greatest gift known to man. The blonde-haired fairy looked at Lily.

"You know how great an honor this is?"

"What?"

"Knowing me."

"Knowing you…what?"

Lucius seemed to find it odd that Lily could not understand. He shook his long mane of blonde hair and repeated,

"Do you know how great an honor it is to know me?"

Lily wasn't quite sure how to respond to such a statement. She suspected that Lucius Malfoy expected nothing less than a resounding "Yes!", but she wasn't sure if she could fake a sincere answer.

"Oh, it is a very great honor, I'm sure."

"You'd better believe it. The Malfoys are descended from all of the founders."

Remus' eyes grew wide at Lucius' statement.

"That can't be true. They aren't ever related."

Lucius sneered at Remus. He almost sneered at Jude from the momentum, but remembered at the last moment that he was one of Salazar Slytherin's last surviving descendants.

"I'd hardly expect you to know, you half-breed son of a …"

He then remembered that there were children present, and was prevented from uttering the word he longed to say. Jude's dark eyes stared at Lucius in curiosity.

"Uncle Lucius, what were you going to say?"

"Don't you worry about it my dear boy, it wasn't anything."

But Lily couldn't help herself.

"Yes, Uncle Lucy, what were you saying?"

"Dash it all, it's impossible to be friends with you lot."

Their team, of course, was named "The Malfoy's" because Lucius was apt to throw a fit if they were called anything else.

The last team consisted of Lord Voldemort, who was going by Tom Riddle for the time being, Aunt Maia, Harold, and Gerald. Aunt Maia seemed to be unusually fond of her nephew.

"So you're Merope's boy. That's absolutely adorable. She had a hard life, that one. Why, father was practically insane, and little Morfin was a bothersome little child. Everyone says that I stole away the prettiest one when I ran off to Argentina, little Selene."

"That's very nice."

"So you were raised in an orphanage? What a hard life. You could've come to live with us, you know. Jude would love having his cousin live with us."

"No really, it's fine…"

"Nonsense! Family needs to look out for each other. You wouldn't say no to your old aunt and uncle, would you? Jude would adore you as a playmate."

"No, honestly, I'm quite…"

"That's settled then. You and Jude look like twins, you know. It's quite uncanny. You can teach him all your magic tricks."

"I'm afraid…"

"Don't worry about the money, Tom. We'll pay for everything. We know how poor you orphans are."

"No it's not…"

"No, we'll buy you clothes too. Don't worry about a thing. And you can bring your pretty wife over from England to live with us."

"I don't have…"

"You're not married? That won't do, not a bit, Tom. I've got just the girl for you. Mia down the road, she'll keep house, and she knows magic tricks. She's just your age too, fifty-two or so."

Only Aunt Maia would consider fifty-two a "girl", but they say there's madness in every family. However, not everyone could "convince" Lord Voldemort to live with them. In the meantime, Gerald and Harold were planning their wedding.

"I want white lilies and red peonies. It'll look splendid."

"Let's have a joint wedding with James and Lily at the Chateau."

"The Chateau?"

"Oh, Uncle Charles has got a great one down in Majorca."

"I didn't know James' father's name was Charles."

"Yes, Charles and Spode, those fine fathers."

Harold quirked an eyebrow at her fiancé.

"Is your father's name really 'Spode'?"

"Of course not, love."

This last team was named by Gerald, as the "Gauntlets", which he thought to be a suitably distasteful pun.

"Ok then…team Cyclone, please select a representative."

…And that was that.