The Time I Turned Thirty
It's been six weeks since we returned from our weekend away in the San Juan Islands and life has been busy. When we got back to the city, I started working in my new role at the publishing house. It turns out, Edward was right, as usual, and I took to it like a duck to water and I absolutely love it.
Edward has also been busy at the hospital and due to all our recent late nights, we haven't spent a lot of quality time together. If we've seen each other at all, we've sat in front of the TV with takeout before crawling into bed and falling asleep. It's become a bit of a routine, and I can't decide if it's a good thing or not.
It's Friday night and I'm on my way home from work. Edward is going to meet me there later when his shift has ended.
When the cab pulls up outside my building, I climb out and pay the driver, heading inside and up to my apartment. As soon as the door closes behind me, I let out a long breath and kick my heels off. I drop my bag onto the countertop before heading into my bedroom and slipping out of my work clothes. As I'm undressing, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I stop my movements, turning to look at my reflection. My eyes move from my face, over my shoulders and down to my chest.
Are my tits sagging?
I move my eyes lower to my waist and hips.
They're definitely softer than they were ten years ago...
Finally, I take in my thighs.
No gap between them anymore...
I sigh a little, pushing the depressing thoughts from my mind before pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a thin sweater. Since September came, the evening air has started to turn chilly and sunny days have turned into drizzly mornings and overcast afternoons.
I head back into the kitchen, deciding that I may as well get comfortable while I wait for Edward. I open the fridge and grab the half-filled bottle of white wine and a glass from the cupboard. I pour myself a generous glass before walking into the living room and turning on the TV. Eventually, I settle for some murder documentary, leaning back against the couch.
As I sit there, my mind can't help but turn to the event that's happening next weekend - my birthday. My thirtieth birthday. I honestly didn't think reaching my thirties would be something I would worry about. I always thought I would age gracefully, taking every inch of cellulite and strand of grey hair in my stride, but then I never thought I would end up with someone like Edward. He's just so...hot. I'll admit, over the last few weeks in the run-up to this big birthday, I've felt more than a few moments of anxiety.
What if he doesn't like the idea of being with someone in their thirties?
What if he sees someone younger or more attractive?
What if my softening, sagging body is enough to turn him off?
I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. I place my wine glass down on the coffee table before standing and moving to answer it. When I open the door, Edward stands in the hallway dressed in dark jeans and a sweater that's snug to his body. He looks like a fucking supermodel and I look like Bridget Jones.
"Hey baby," He says with a grin, walking into my apartment and giving me a quick kiss. "Sorry I'm a bit late, I got caught with a patient," He says.
Oh yeah, he's a fucking doctor too, can't forget that...
"That's okay" I reply quietly. "Do you want some dinner?" I ask.
"Yeah, I'm starving. What do you fancy?" He asks, dropping his bag in my room and coming to stand in front of me, his arms wrapping around my waist.
God, he's going to notice I've filled out around there.
"I don't mind," I reply quietly. I notice Edward's eyebrows raise slightly in surprise.
"Okay..." He drags out, "How about that new Turkish place down the road?" He suggests.
"Sure" I reply. He nods before grabbing his phone and disappearing into the living room to place our order. In the meantime, I grab him a beer, popping the cap.
"Twenty minutes," He says when he comes back in. I nod a little in reply. "So...what do you wanna do for twenty minutes?" He asks, wiggling his eyebrows at me suggestively.
"Um...let's watch some TV" I suggest, feeling that spike of anxiety that's quickly becoming familiar whenever sex or my body is mentioned.
"Oh..ok" He replies, his face falling slightly. Edward takes his beer before following me into the living room. I pick up my wine and take a long sip feeling the alcohol dampen the tingling in my stomach. We watch the TV in silence for a while before I speak again.
"So, how was your day?" I ask him.
"It was fine" He replies, sipping his beer. "Nothing major happened" He explains. "How about you?"
"It was okay. We started working on ideas for the book cover for that new novel I told you about" I tell him.
"That's exciting," He says, with a smile. I try to smile back but I can tell it doesn't really reach my eyes.
Is this what I'm going to become? Someone that gets excited by book covers...?
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him open his mouth to speak again but the buzzer goes signalling the arrival of our food.
"I'll get it," I tell him quickly.
I stand from the couch, buzzing in the takeout guy and paying for our food. A few moments later, I return to the living room with a bag in each hand.
"I think they gave us too much," I tell him, frowning slightly.
"No, they didn't," He says, taking the bags from me and pulling out the containers. "I ordered that beef thing that you liked last time as well as a lamb skewer. Oh! And I also got some baklava" He sings at me, smiling wide. I smile a little too, touched he remembered that I like baklava.
Edward dishes out the food between us before we both tuck in. I hear him hum a little as he takes a bite of the beef, chewing slowly. As I watch him from the corner of my eye I can't get my head around how he can eat everything he does and still look like that. He doesn't even fucking workout.
"What?" He asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Nothing" I reply, turning back to the TV.
"No, no. Tell me. You were looking at me so what were you thinking?" He asks, touching my hand with his. I sigh a little, feeling a bit pathetic.
"I was wondering how you looked like that with all you eat," I tell him.
"Like what?" He asks, looking down at his perfect body.
"Like that!" I say, pointing at him. "I mean, you've got biceps and your stomach's flat and toned and your thighs aren't big..." I mumble, trailing off as I take another enormous bite of lamb and in turn, adding to my issues. Edward chuckles slightly.
"Baby, we all have biceps, even you," He says, squeezing my squidgy arm lightly. I pull my arm away making him chuckle again. "I don't know. Everyone's body is different you know. I guess I'm on my feet most of the day though so..." He shrugs like it's no big fucking deal.
I sigh again, chewing on my food and wondering if I should buy a treadmill, or maybe a rowing machine.
Aren't they supposed to be better at toning everything up? Where would I even put it?
"What are you thinking about?" Edward suddenly asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Rowing machines" I reply, placing my now empty carton of food down on the coffee table. Edward is still eating, which means I ate faster than him.
Urgh. I really am a pig.
"Rowing machines?!" He asks, sounding surprised. "Why are you thinking about rowing machines?"
"Aren't they supposed to be the best thing to tone your whole body?" I reply.
"I guess. I mean, they'd tone your arms and the movement would do your legs and core muscles" He shrugs. "Why are you thinking about that though?" He asks.
"I was wondering if I could fit one in here?" I tell him, gesturing to the apartment.
"Er...you would but I think Alice might be a bit pissed off," He says.
Oh yeah. Alice. My young fetus of a friend.
"What's brought the idea of a rowing machine on?" He asks. My eyes meet his for a moment and I can see the confusion behind them.
"I just thought I should start exercising a bit more" I reply quietly, not wanting to tell him I'm actually having a midlife crisis about my body.
"But you hate exercising." He points out.
"So? People can change as they get older" I reply.
Older being the operative word.
"Yeah, but not that much," He says with a snort. I sigh a little.
"It was just a thought" I reply with a shrug. He nods, watching me from the corner of his eye but dropping the subject.
We watch TV for a while before I feel Edward's hand slide into mine. I turn to look at him and he tilts his head, gesturing for me to come closer. I smile a little before sliding along the couch until I'm sitting right in front of him, my back to his chest. I move my legs onto the cushions, getting comfortable, feeling him sigh behind me, his chin resting on my head. He takes my hands in his, resting them on my stomach.
As we watch the show playing on TV, I focus on the feel of Edward's chest, rising and falling steadily, the rhythmic thump of his heartbeat against my back and how his breathing makes my hair flutter slightly. I feel him adjust his body a little before his hands begin to make small soothing circles on the area just beneath my bra. I tilt my head back, resting it against his chest, my eyes closing slightly at the feeling.
Then, I feel him move his hands down slightly, resting them on my soft stomach as he continues to make soothing circular motions with his fingers. His hands drop lower, resting on the squidgy area at the base of my tummy. I see him go to move, just about to slip his fingertips into the waistband of my sweatpants before I sit up suddenly.
"Coffee?" I ask, turning to look at him. Edward looks a little surprised but covers it well.
"Sure" He says with a soft smile. I nod before standing from the couch and disappearing into the kitchen. I turn on the coffee machine, setting it going before leaning my hands against the counter. I let out a slow breath and try to relax.
Why do I feel like this?
Edward's touched me hundreds of times before now and I've never thought about whether my stomach was soft or toned or if my thighs jiggled slightly when I walk. I feel my chest tighten slightly and realise I'm getting emotional.
Fuck. Snap out of it!
I take a deep breath before rising up and grabbing two coffee mugs. As I pour the steaming liquid I decide the best thing to do is to just drink the coffee and go to bed, hoping things will look better in the morning. I pick up both mugs before heading back into the living room.
"Here you are," I say quietly, passing Edward a mug. He takes it, smiling up at me before I sit down on the couch, further away than before.
I don't want to lead him on.
We sip our coffee in silence before Edward speaks again.
"Baby, are you alright?" He asks. I turn to see him looking at me, concern on his face.
"Yeah, why?" I ask.
"You just seem a bit...jittery recently." He says.
"Jittery? No, I'm fine. I just thought you'd like a coffee" I shrug, trying to play off my mental breakdown as nothing to worry about. He nods a little before turning his attention to the container left on the coffee table.
"Oo, we have our baklavas left!" He says, grabbing the container and popping the lid. He holds it out to me so that I can take a piece. I look down at the honey, gooey goodness and desperately want some, but then I see my thighs pressed together on the couch.
"No, I'm good thanks," I tell him. Edward stares at me.
"But, you love baklava," He says softly.
I do. And that's why I look like this.
"Yeah, I do. But, I've kind of eaten too much already" I reason. "You have yours though," I tell him. He looks at me for a long minute before I turn away and stare at the TV. I hear him rustling about behind me before the container is put down on the coffee table.
I sip my coffee, avoiding Edward's gaze as he eats his dessert before I take both of our empty mugs and return them to the kitchen. When I come back, Edward has a small frown on his face.
"So..." I sigh, "It's getting kind of late, so I might go to bed," I tell him. He looks up at me and there's a beat of silence before he speaks again.
"Okay, I'll come with you," He says. I nod before watching him turn off the TV and place the remaining baklava in the fridge.
While Edward changes in the bedroom, I use the bathroom, removing my makeup and cleaning my teeth. When I come out, Edward passes me in the hallway and throws me a smile. I smile back but I can tell it's weak and forced.
As Edward cleans his teeth, I change into some pyjamas and climb into bed, pulling the covers tightly around my body. As I look down at the top of my clothes, I realise my pyjamas are fucking flannel. Just then, I hear Edward open the bathroom door and make his way back to the room.
No point changing them now...
It won't make a difference anyway...
Edward returns to the bedroom before pulling off his t-shirt, leaving him in just his boxers. I stare at him as he moves around the room, watching as his abs contract as he bends over and his back muscles ripple as he lifts his arms.
Urgh. Seriously?
He turns around and sees me watching him before giving me a small smile. I smile back as he climbs under the covers, moving closer to me.
"Shall I turn the light off?" I ask.
"Sure" He replies.
I turn on my side, switching the lights off and pulling the covers up around myself. I try to breathe slow and deep, relaxing against the pillow. Edward wraps his arm around my middle, his back curving along my own and lets out a slow breath.
We lie like that for a while and I can feel myself becoming drowsy when Edward's hand suddenly starts to move very slowly down my body. I feel his hand rest on my hip before his fingers begin to slide back and forth just under the waist of my bottoms. I stay completely still, hoping that he'll think I'm asleep, but when I feel him move his hand beneath the fabric of my pants, I reach down and grab it, stopping him in his tracks.
There's a beat of silence before I hear Edward huff behind me, removing his hand from my pants and then his arm from my body entirely. I feel the mattress dip as he rolls away from me and I immediately feel the stab of rejection in my chest.
He's angry. I can feel it.
I feel the prickle of tears behind my eyes before suddenly, Edward's side light turns on.
"Okay, what's going on?" Edward's agitated voice says. I turn to look at him over my shoulder and see him leaning on one elbow, the covers pulled loosely around his hips. His hair is slightly dishevelled and there's annoyance behind his eyes.
"Nothing" I reply quietly, turning away from him and hoping he'll drop the subject.
"Bullshit," He says. "Tell me what it is."
When I don't reply I hear him sigh and scrub a hand over his face.
"Is it me?" He asks, "Do you not...want me or something?" I can hear the hurt in his voice.
"No, of course, I do," I whisper, feeling my chest ache at the idea that I could ever not want him.
"Then what is it? Why won't you let me touch you?" He asks.
"It's nothing. I just...didn't want you to." I reply, looking over my shoulder at him. His eyes flick between mine before moving down my body.
"Is there something wrong...down there?" He asks quietly. "Because you can tell me, there's nothing I haven't seen before." He reassures me. I feel my cheeks flush at the assumption.
Oh my god. Not only am I going to be fat and thirty wearing flannel but he thinks I have a problem with my vagina!?
"No!" I reply defensively.
"Okay, okay...so...what is it? There's got to be a reason that you don't want me anywhere near you baby" He whispers. I sigh a little, rubbing my eyes and rolling onto my back.
"I just...don't feel particularly attractive at the moment okay?" I whisper, shrugging a little. I stare at the ceiling, avoiding his gaze.
"What are you talking about? Why don't you feel attractive?" He asks as he shuffles closer to me. I lift one shoulder, feeling my mouth pull down a bit from the weight of unshed tears.
"Baby, you've got to talk to me, otherwise, I can't help," He says gently. My eyes move to his and I see the concern etched on his face. I sigh a little, realising I'm going to have to bite the bullet.
"I guess, I just feel like you might not want me the way that you used to" I whisper, hearing my voice quiver.
"Have I made you feel like I don't want you?" He asks, his face inches away from mine.
"No, not really. I mean, we haven't...done anything recently" I admit.
"Well, that's only because we were both tired from working late nights, not because I don't want you." He insists.
"I know," I tell him, scrubbing a hand over my eye, feeling a bit of wetness there.
"So why else do you think I might not want you?" He asks, a frown forming on his face.
"Because I'm going to be old and flabby," I tell him quietly. I watch his face as it goes from confusion to surprise before a chuckle bubbles out of his mouth. "Why are you laughing?!" I ask incredulously.
"Because that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" He says. "Why are you going to be old and flabby?" He asks.
"Because I'm going to be thirty next week," I explain. I see understanding cross his face before he lets out a breathy chuckle, dropping his head and shaking it in disbelief.
"This is what it's all been about? You turning thirty?" He asks.
"It's a big deal Edward," I tell him defensively.
"It's a big deal because it's your birthday. It's not a big deal because you're going to be thirty" He argues.
"I'm going to be older than you" I point out.
"You've always been older than me" He chuckles.
"But not a decade!" I cry.
"You're not going to be a decade older than me! You're going to be nine months older than me, like every other year!" He says back, his voice rising slightly. I huff a little, not wanting to admit that he has a point.
"And why does turning thirty mean that you're going to be flabby?" He asks.
"My boobs are sagging and my waist is bigger than it was and my hips have love handles and my thighs touch in the middle now," I tell him, feeling completely ridiculous under his gaze. "And my ass jiggles more than it did" I add. He chuckles at me rolling his eyes before he fixes me with a serious stare.
"None of that is true," He says softly.
"Well, I feel like it is," I tell him. "And because of that, I feel like you might..." I trail off, not wanting to say the words.
"Might what?" He asks gently.
"Might go off me" I admit. There's a long moment of silence and I avoid Edward's gaze, not wanting to see anything that might confirm my suspicions.
"I can see this is going to require some major intervention." He says quietly. I frown a little, not understanding his meaning. He lifts his free hand and tucks my hair behind my ear.
"Your hair is still lovely and dark and it curls around your face and down your back, just like when we were teenagers," He tells me. "Your eyes are still deep chocolate and you still have that dusting of freckles over your nose that becomes more prominent when the sun's been out," He says, booping my nose with his index finger and making me smile a little.
"There's that smile that I love," He says, grinning himself. "It makes your face light up and you look so fucking happy," He tells me. Edward's eyes drop from mine to my mouth before he drags his thumb along my bottom lip.
"Your bottom lip is slightly fuller than your top, and you bite it when you're nervous, but also when you're getting close" He breathes, "And your kiss..." He trails off before his mouth meets mine in a slow, sensual kiss. I sigh against his lips, feeling his tongue swipe along my bottom lip asking for entrance. I let him deepen the kiss before he suddenly pulls back.
"Your kiss tastes like strawberries and sugar and...you," He tells me. I giggle a little at the description before he continues speaking.
"Your neck is still slim and long," He says, dragging his nose across my cheek and down my neck before leaving a trail of kisses to my collarbone. He shifts over me more, his hands moving to the buttons of my pyjama top. He pops each button through the hole as he continues to nip and suck along my collarbone before pushing the fabric aside, leaving me exposed from the waist up. I swallow down the anxiety I feel before he speaks again.
"Your tits" He breathes against my chest as his hands come up to cup my now bare breasts, "Your tits are so soft and round and they fit perfectly in my hands." His thumbs drag over my now rock-hard nipples. "And your nipples go dark and rosy when you're turned on" He whispers before dropping his mouth to my breast, sucking lightly on my nipple and making me let out a breathy moan. Edward moves his mouth away from my chest, kissing the underside of my breast before moving lower.
"Your stomach is so soft and smooth," He says, running his hands over the skin of my tummy. He kisses down the length of my stomach, his tongue, dipping into my belly button, making me gasp. When he reaches the waistband of my pants, he stops.
"Your hips are so curvy and womanly" He murmurs, his voice deep and rough.
"They're bigger than before" I admit breathlessly. His eyes flash up to mine before his large hands take my hips in a firm grip, right over my love handles.
"Maybe" He whispers, "But that just means there's more to grab," He says before fixing me with a dark stare and dragging his tongue along with the top of my waistband. I let out a shuddering breath before he slips his fingers under the fabric of my pyjama pants. He drags them down and I lift my hips slightly so he can get them over my ass before dragging them down my legs and off completely. He returns to his previous position, his hands holding my hips tightly once more.
"Now you mentioned your thighs..." He hums, "What exactly did you say about them?" He asks.
"They touch in the middle" I breathe, feeling my head begin to spin from how close he is to my pussy.
"Well, that may be true," He says, his hands running down the outside of my thighs, "But they're so soft and long and fuck, when they wrap around me it makes me feel like I'm going fucking insane" He groans, his hands moving up between my legs and pushing them apart, revealing my wet centre. My breathing becomes laboured and despite my arousal, I immediately feel a little self-conscious under Edward's gaze.
"And this..." Edward whispers, his breath fanning over my pussy, "This is perfect. You always get so fucking wet" He groans, before swiping one finger through my folds, "And you taste fucking incredible" He breathes before taking one long lick.
"Oh!" I moan, my eyes fluttering closed on their own accord.
"And you're so. fucking. tight" He says before sliding one finger into my opening and fusing his mouth to my clit.
"Oh shit, shit, shit" I pant, throwing my head back and moaning loudly. My hand goes to his head, twisting his hair around my fingers. Edward groans at the sensation before beginning to flick his tongue quickly over my clit while he pumps his finger in and out at a fast pace.
"Oh my god" I groan, feeling the pressure of my orgasm building already. My breathing becomes even more laboured and my back arches under the pressure. I feel Edward's free hand snake up my body before it reaches my breast, pinching my nipple as he rubs against my g-spot.
"Fuck!" I cry out before my orgasm rips through my body, my thighs shaking on either side of Edward's shoulders. When I finally come down from my orgasm, he pulls away, removing his mouth and fingers from my body and rising to his knees.
"Are you convinced that I find you attractive yet?" He asks a small smirk on his lips. I let out a breathy laugh as I try to rein in my beating heart.
"I guess so, yeah" I nod.
"You only guess so? Well, that's not good enough" He teases. "I want you to be positive." He says before dropping down onto me and fusing his mouth to mine.
He kisses me like his life depends on it and soon I'm tearing my mouth away from his, needing air. I watch as Edward leans over and grabs a condom from the nightstand before leaning back, sliding his boxers off and fixing it to himself. He lines himself up with my entrance. Then, he thrusts into me hard drawing a harsh gasp from my mouth.
"Hold on baby" He whispers before starting a brutal pace. I cling to his shoulders as his skin slaps against mine in a forceful rhythm.
"Oh fuck!" I groan, my eyes closing and my mouth hanging open as I try to suck in some much-needed air. I can hear Edward's heavy breathing and deep groans as he continues to thrust into me. Suddenly, he leans up, taking my hands in his and slamming them into the mattress by my head.
"You're so fucking beautiful" He pants, his face close to mine. "I love how your skin flushes when I'm fucking you. I love how your back arches when I hit just...here" He grunts before hitting that magic spot inside of me and indeed making my back arch in pleasure.
"Urgh right there, right there" I moan before Edward's mouth fuses to mine. I try to kiss him back but I can't think about anything but how good he feels. Eventually, I have to tear my mouth away from his, breathing heavily. I can feel my orgasm approaching and wrap my legs around Edward's hips, pulling him deeper into me.
"Urgh!" Edward grunts before increasing his pace even more. "You know what else your hips are good for?" He asks breathlessly. How he is even forming words at this point is a mystery. "For holding on to" He groans, answering his own question before leaning back onto his knees and holding my hips tightly.
"Oh shit!" I squeak out, feeling my abdomen tighten with my impending orgasm. My breaths come out in short, sharp pants. The pleasure is so intense I can't do anything but hold on and try to breathe.
"I'm gonna cum" I whimper.
"I can feel you" Edward grunts, increasing the speed of his thrusts. I'm so close, hanging right on the edge when he suddenly slips his hand down to our joined bodies, rubbing his thumb over my clit.
"Fuuuuuck" I cry out, my eyes slamming closed as my back arches and my entire body snaps forward. I groan through my orgasm, hearing Edward groan and collapse on top of me as he follows me over the edge. We lie there for a long time, a mass of sprawled limbs and heavy breathing before Edward eventually rolls off of me and disposes of the condom. A moment later, he's rolling back on top of me, his arms holding his body weight off of mine.
"Holy shit" I giggle, breathing heavily. Edward chuckles with me before dropping sloppy kisses across my cheek and down to my neck.
"How are you feeling now?" He asks me, his voice rough and so fucking sexy.
"Like goo" I reply, hearing him chuckle again.
"I meant about the impending birthday," He says.
"Not so bad" I admit.
"I meant it, Bella. You're the most beautiful woman and no matter how many grey hairs you get, or wrinkles or fat rolls, I'm still going to think that" He tells me sincerely.
"But, one day, there might be a twenty-one-year-old who's skinny and young and beautiful and she might turn your head" I whisper.
"She won't. Yes, I might see a twenty-one-year-old and think she's hot. But I love you. You've got to believe me" He says. I nod a little, feeling comforted by his words. "Anyway, can you honestly say you'll never look at another guy and think he's hot?" He asks, his eyes meeting mine.
"No" I admit sheepishly. Edward chuckles.
"But are you planning on running away with him?" He asks.
"No" I repeat, smiling a little.
"Well, there we go. I'm so glad we talked that out" He says, grinding his softening cock into me and making me giggle.
"Me too. Now can we cuddle and go to sleep?" I ask quietly. He chuckles before rolling onto his back, pulling my body into his. He switches the light off and we're plunged into darkness once more. I rest my head on Edward's chest, hearing his fast heartbeat under my ear before he kisses my hair, stroking his hand up and down my back.
"I love you too" I whisper into the dark. I hear a rumble leave Edward's chest as he chuckles.
"I know" He replies before we both drift off to sleep.
The following weekend comes quickly and before I know it, I'm standing in my room in my favourite blouse and jeans, applying the finishing touches to my make-up. I'm just placing my perfume bottle down on my dresser when I hear a knock on my bedroom door.
"You ready?" Alice asks, popping her head around the door.
"Yep" I reply, turning and following her out of my room. I grab my jacket and bag before heading out the front door and down to the foyer. I hail a cab before Alice and I slide into the backseat, heading toward Edward and Jasper's apartment.
"Are you excited about your party birthday girl?" Alice asks.
"Yeah, kind of. I'm interested to see what Edward's planned" I admit.
Edward has insisted on planning me a birthday party to celebrate turning thirty. He has also insisted on me not knowing anything about it. It's equal parts exciting and terrifying.
"I'm sure he's done a good job" Alice nods.
Within a few minutes, we're pulling up outside the boys' apartment. We climb out of the cab before heading inside and up to their floor. I knock on the door, giving Alice a little smile before the door swings open revealing Edward.
"Hey, birthday girl!" He cries, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into the apartment. I think he's more excited than I am.
"Thanks" I giggle before he places me down, turning his attention to Alice by my side.
"Hey Allie," He says. She giggles, rolling her eyes before walking into the apartment to find Jasper. Edward uses the moment we're alone to give me a slow, toe-curling kiss. When he pulls away he smirks, throwing me a wink, before grabbing my hand and walking towards the kitchen.
"Happy birthday Bella," Jasper says when I see him, giving me a hug.
"Thank you" I reply quietly.
"When are the others getting here?" Alice asks.
"Any minute, but until then, we can't go into the living room," Edward says.
"What? Why?" I ask with a laugh.
"Because I want you to have the full reveal when everyone is present" Edward replies seriously. His expression makes me laugh before I hear Alice and Jasper chuckling at him too. Edward just rolls his eyes at us all before turning to the fridge and getting Alice and me a glass of white wine.
Thankfully, we don't have to wait too long for the 'big reveal' as, as soon as the wine has touched my lips, I hear a knock on the door. Edward disappears to answer it, returning a moment later with Rose and Emmett.
"Happy birthday Bella!" Rose cries, giving me a tight squeeze and handing me a gift. Before I can take it, Edward snatches it from my grasp.
"I'll put it with the others," He says before disappearing into the secret living room.
"Is it just me, or is Edward more excited than you are right now?" Rose whispers. I giggle as Edward reappears in the room.
"So, what's the agenda tonight maestro?" Rose asks Edward in a teasing voice. He gives her the finger, making her laugh.
"I've ordered Bella's favourite Thai for everyone and it should be here in a few minutes," He tells us. "And I thought we could watch a couple of movies".
Huh. The way he was talking I thought things were going to be...bigger.
Maybe it's just that he knows me so well now he knows that's what I would want to do.
"That sounds perfect," I say sincerely. "So, can we go into the living room now?" I ask, seeing Jasper hand Emmett and Rose a drink.
"Okay," He nods. For a moment I see a flash of insecurity in his eyes but when I take his hand in mine, it seems to have gone. Edward leads the way into the living room before I feel my mouth drop to the floor.
"Wow" I hear Rose say behind me.
"It's so pretty" I hear Alice coo.
The room is covered in fairy lights, pillows are strewn on all the couches and a large bouquet of flowers is on the coffee table, a small pile of gifts by their side. I slowly walk into the room, looking at all the string lights. As I do, I see there are cards attached to them...no...not cards, photos.
I move closer and realise that all the photos are of the six of us through time, even my Dad makes a couple of appearances. There are photos of our time at college and parties, graduation, Alice and I moving into our apartment and various birthdays and events over the years. I feel my eyes prickle with tears.
"The flowers are for you," Edward says quietly. I look down at the bouquet of pink roses and see there are thirty. One for every year. I turn and look at him.
"Edward this is...incredible. This must have taken you hours" I say, fingering one of the photos of Edward, Jasper, Alice and me standing in this very room when the boys first moved in. We're twenty-two years old and have huge smiles on our faces. There's not a stick of furniture in the room, it's just full of boxes, but we look so happy.
I jump slightly at the sound of the buzzer sounding, signalling the arrival of our food.
"I'll get it," Jasper says, disappearing back into the kitchen.
"I'll help" Alice nods.
"Us too," Rose says before dragging Emmett around the corner with her.
I look back at the photos before seeing movement out of the corner of my eye and realise Edward has come to stand beside me. I look up at him and realise there are tears in my eyes.
"Thank you" I whisper.
"You're welcome" He replies before giving me a soft kiss. "I love you," He tells me.
"I love you too" I reply.
A few moments later, the others return holding plates of our food. I take mine gratefully, sitting on the small couch with Edward by my side.
"So, what movie are we watching?" Alice asks. "Is Bella choosing?"
"Actually, I have a couple picked out of my own" Edward replies. "I hope you don't mind," He says, his eyes meeting mine.
"No, not at all," I say, shaking my head. "What did you pick?" I ask out of curiosity.
"Something that's a blast from the past." He says, turning on the TV.
I watch as the screen flickers to life before I see a slightly fuzzy image. Edward hits play before I hear laughter and the image focuses.
"Oh my god!" I cry, laughing loudly. "Are these our home movies?!" I ask, hearing the others gasping as well.
When we were all in college, Jasper went through a phase of wanting to make old-style home movies. We always said that one day, we would look back on them and reminisce but we never have. I'd completely forgotten about them until now.
"Yep," Edward chuckles.
I watch the TV, seeing a long-haired twenty-something Jasper come into focus, frowning slightly into the lens.
"Jasper! Look at your hair!" Alice cries, laughing loudly. We all laugh with her, Jasper groaning and covering his face.
"Is it working?" Edward's voice asks.
"Yeah I think so, the light is flashing so..." Jasper replies before panning around the living room of our shared house in college.
"Oh my god, look at our living room!" Rose says. I watch the screen, seeing our mismatched couches and pale blue curtains before Edward comes into view, sitting on the arm of the couch. He's dressed in baggy jeans and a yellow t-shirt, looking very late 2000s.
God, he's as beautiful as I remember.
"Say something Ed," Jasper's voice says.
"Good morning," Edward says, holding his hand up like it's a microphone, "And welcome to 2169 Union Street, Seattle or as Alice likes to call it The Pink Palace," He says in his best news anchor voice.
We all laugh at that while Edward groans and rolls his eyes.
"Where are the girls?" Jasper asks.
"Kitchen I think" Edward replies, standing from the arm of the couch and heading into our kitchen.
"Aww, I miss that place!" Alice coos. "We had so many good nights there!"
"I know" I agree.
Suddenly, the three of us come into view. Alice is standing by the sink dressed in sweatpants and a vest top, her hair is longer and she's wearing a sparkly hairband. Rose is by the coffee machine, dressed in a pink matching tracksuit and I'm sitting at the kitchen table, my head bent over a book. My hair is pulled into two loose pigtails and I'm wearing jeans and a tight patterned t-shirt.
"Oh my god! My hair!" Alice cries, laughing. "And what is with the hairband!"
We all laugh with her before Rose snorts at her outfit.
"I don't remember ever wearing my hair like that" I chuckle.
"Yeah, you did. Only at home though" Edward says quietly. I look over at him but he's looking at the screen, a soft smile on his face.
"Ladies," Jasper's voice says making us all look over at him.
"You better not be filming us, Jasper Whitlock," Alice says to him.
"Why?" Jasper asks.
"Because I have no make-up on" Alice replies.
"Allie, it's fine, you always look perfect anyway," I say, rolling my eyes at her.
The camera begins zooming in on all of our faces. Alice quickly turns away, Rose rolls her eyes and I smile at the lens. Suddenly, Edward appears next to me, his head next to mine before we both pull a stupid face at the camera, laughing together.
We all laugh and I look over at Edward. He gives me a small smile.
"What's for breakfast then?" Jasper's voice says.
"Is this what you're going to film?" Rose asks. "Our breakfast?"
"Yes. It might seem boring now but one day we'll wish we had this footage" Jasper's voice replies.
"Breakfast is..." I reply, standing from the table and dramatically standing by the toaster, "A delightful concoction of...toast" I tell the camera.
"And coffee," Edward says. "Hey, Bella can you grab that jug out of the dishwasher please?" Edward asks me.
"Sure" I reply before bending over to grab the jug. The camera catches Edward staring at my ass.
"Edward Cullen!" I cry. "You're checking me out!"
The other's all laugh as I turn shocked eyes on him. He clears his throat a little, avoiding my gaze and I notice his ears turn a little pink.
"So what do you think I should film Rose?" Jasper's voice asks.
"I don't know, something that we'll look back on and laugh at in ten years' time," Rose says.
"Like what?" Edward asks.
"You could interview us" I chirp up.
"Interview you?" Jasper asks.
"Yeah, interview current us and then future us can see how we've changed" I explain.
"That's kind of cool" Jasper's voice says.
Suddenly, there's a loud noise and the camera swings around to capture Emmett stumbling out of his bedroom half asleep. He's thankfully dressed in pyjama pants but no shirt. His hair is long on top and really curly.
"Morning" He mumbles.
"Smile Em, you're on camera!" Jasper cries. Emmett looks over bleary-eyed before giving a big thumbs up and a toothy grin.
Suddenly, the video flickers and it seems to be another day.
"So Emmett, you're first up," Jasper's voice says. Emmett is sitting in front of the camera, dressed in a brown sweater with a blue stripe and jeans.
"You ready?" Jasper asks.
"Born ready baby" Emmett replies.
We all laugh while Rose scruffs his hair.
"What was your favourite thing that happened this year so far?" Jasper asks.
"When we went away for Spring Break to Texas" Emmett answers
"Okay, what do you hope you're doing in ten years' time?" Jasper asks.
"I hope that I'm...still with Rosie and that I have a job I love and that I'm not living with any of you fuckers" He answers.
"Awww you guys" Alice coos at Emmett and Rose. Rose grins at Emmett while Emmett looks uncharacteristically bashful.
The camera flickers again and suddenly Alice is in the frame. She's wearing a purple sweatshirt with a sparkly heart on the front and her hair is pinned back with a butterfly grip. She grins into the lens.
"So Alice, what was your favourite thing that happened this year so far?" Jasper asks.
"I think going to New York with the girls for Spring Break" Alice replies.
"What do you hope you're doing in ten years' time?" Jasper asks.
"I hope I'm working in fashion. I hope I'm living in a big city somewhere exciting and I hope I'm in a proper relationship" She answers, looking a little embarrassed. "Kind of silly I know" She giggles.
"It's not silly. I think that's a nice thing to hope for" Jasper replies quietly. Alice gives him a small smile and for a second I can see the distant sparks of feelings for one another.
The screen flickers before Rose appears, dressed in a cropped top and jeans.
"Rose, what's your favourite thing that happened this year so far?" Jasper asks.
"I think...going to see Britney in concert" She answers.
"Oh my god! I forgot about that!" Alice squeals.
"Me too" I nod.
"What do you hope you're doing in ten years' time?" Jasper asks.
"I hope I'm still with Emmett and that I'm working as a lawyer. Maybe engaged?" She says, her cheeks blushing a little.
I notice Emmett and Rose glance at each other out of the corner of my eye but they don't say anything.
The video flickers again before Jasper appears dressed in a pale blue hoodie and matching sweatpants.
"Jasper" Edward's voice says, "what's your favourite thing that happened this year so far?" He asks.
"I think getting my work experience at the museum" He answers.
"What do you hope you're doing in ten years' time?" Edward asks.
"I hope I have a job in history. I hope I have an apartment of my own. I hope I'm in a serious relationship" He answers, his cheeks turning slightly pink.
"Cool man" Edward replies.
"Hey, will you do Bella for me? I gotta get to class." Jasper asks.
"Sure" Edward replies.
The screen goes black before I appear, dressed in jeans with a butterfly decal on the side and a dark blue sweater. My hair is hanging loose and I kind of have bangs.
"Bella, what's your favourite thing that happened this year so far?" Edward asks me.
"I guess going to New York with Alice and Rose" I reply.
"What do you hope you're doing in ten years' time?" Edward asks.
"I would like to be working with books. Maybe in publishing? And I would like to be in love" I reply quietly.
"Really?" Edward asks.
"Yeah. I know you don't believe in love or whatever but..." I reply, trailing off and shrugging.
"It's not that I don't believe in it. I've just never felt it" Edward's voice says.
"Maybe you will one day" I reply, looking at him behind the camera.
"Maybe" Edward replies. "Wanna do me?" He asks after a beat of silence. I nod before the screen goes black again.
I feel Edward squeeze my hand and I look up, giving him a little grin.
"It's weird to think we didn't know then," He says quietly.
"I know right. A couple of whiskeys and we could have been here a long time ago" I tease making Edward chuckle.
"I think we shared more than a couple of whiskeys in the past. I think it was more the timing" Edward tells me.
Again, the video flickers before Edward appears, sitting back in the armchair in the living room. He's dressed in baggy jeans and a dark red sweater. He looks kind of hot.
"Edward, what's your favourite thing that happened this year so far?" I ask.
"Spring break in Texas" He replies quickly.
I chuckle quietly.
"Was it the cowboy hat that did it for you?" I whisper. Edward pinches my waist lightly and I see his lip quirk up at the corner.
"What do you hope you're doing in ten years' time?" I ask.
"I hope I'm a doctor. I hope I still know all of you guys and...I guess I hope I'm...with someone" He says awkwardly.
"Awww Edward" Alice and Rose coo.
"Fuck off guys" He replies, making them all chuckle.
"Really?" My voice asks.
"What?" Edward replies.
"You hope you're with someone?" I reply.
"Yeah. I mean, I don't want to end up alone" Edward replies awkwardly.
"You won't Edward. You'll always have us" My voice says. He looks up at me for a minute before giving me a grin.
"Come here," Edward says.
"Why?" I giggle, walking into frame.
"Let's get a shot of the two of us." He says before grabbing me by the waist and pulling me onto his lap.
I squeal before laughing and smiling at the camera, Edward grinning into the lens with me. We then both turn and look at each other. Our faces are so close and I see us both share a look for a moment before our eyes drop to each other's mouths, Edward clears his throat a little and I quickly stand up.
"So, that's all the interviews?" I ask, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"Yeah" Edward replies.
"Okay well, you turn the camera off and I'm going to start dinner with Alice," I say before walking out of frame.
Edward nods, scrubbing a hand over his face. He looks in the direction I've just walked, a strange look on his face. A moment later, he lets out a slow breath and stands from the chair. He walks towards the camera, his face filling the screen before he presses a button and the video ends.
We're all silent, watching the screen flicker with white noise before I turn to look at Edward.
"Did we...did we have a moment?" I ask him. He turns to face me, a mixture of confusion and surprise on his face.
"I...think we might have" He admits.
"You totally had a moment," Alice says. "I had no idea that happened" She adds.
"Neither did I. I mean, I don't even remember it. Do you?" I ask Edward.
"I remember you interviewing me but I don't remember...that," He says.
"Huh, so all that time ago..." I trail off.
"We had a moment" Edward finishes.
We both stare at each other for a long moment before Edward shakes his head a little.
"Anyone want cake?" He asks.
"Yes! I'll help do the candles" Alice cries, following Edward out of the room.
"So you two liked each other then," Jasper says, his eyes finding mine.
"Looks like I wasn't the only one" I reply, giving him a pointed look. Jasper chuckles quietly, nodding in agreement. Suddenly, I hear voices singing.
"Haaappy birthday to you..." Edward starts, Alice joining in before the others follow suit. Edward comes around the corner carrying a huge chocolate cake laden with candles.
"Oh my god!" I chuckle.
"Happy birthday dear Bella, happy birthday to you..." They all finish, Edward placing the cake in front of me. I close my eyes before blowing out the candles.
"What did you wish for?" Edward asks.
"Not telling or it won't come true" I reply. Edward chuckles, rolling his eyes before he removes the candles and hands me a knife to cut six pieces. I had out the cake before taking a bite of my own piece.
"Mmmm" I moan, "This is that cake from that bakery you took me to isn't it?" I ask Edward. He gives me a grin, biting into his own cake.
"It is the best," He says. I nod in agreement.
We stay like that for a while, eating our cake and talking before Rose and Emmett say they need to get home. Alice says that Jasper is going to come back with her so that Edward and I can be alone together before I give everyone a hug goodnight.
"That was hands down the best evening," I tell Edward as he closes the front door, leaving us alone.
"Yeah?" He asks, his arms wrapping around my waist. I nod, grinning up at him.
"I can't believe you found that video. And all the photos Edward, it was just so special" I tell him.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it" He whispers before leaning in and giving me a soft kiss. I kiss him back, my hands going to his hair before he pulls away. "Wanna get in bed?" He asks.
"Yeah" I nod.
We tidy away and lock up before I head into the bathroom, taking off my make-up and cleaning my teeth. As I head back into Edward's bedroom, Edward gives me a quick peck on the lips before disappearing into the bathroom. I change out of my clothes into my pyjamas before crawling under the covers just as Edward walks back into the room.
"You okay?" He asks, reaching back and pulling his sweater over his head.
"Yeah" I reply.
"So, was it as bad as you thought? Turning thirty?" He asks.
"No. It was actually...pretty amazing" I admit. Edward grins, crawling under the covers with me, rolling onto his side so he can face me.
"Good. I wanted to make it a happy experience for you." He whispers.
"You did. Thank you" I tell him.
He leans in kissing me softly before I pull away looking him in the eye.
"So Edward," I say, using my hand as a microphone, "What does it feel like to be dating an older woman?" I ask before putting my hand in front of his mouth. He chuckles rolling his eyes at me.
"It's pretty incredible." He replies into the 'mic'.
"And why is that?" I ask.
"Well, she's the most amazing woman I've ever met," He says, giving me a soft smile. "And because she's a little more...mature..." He says, making me raise my eyebrows at him, "she's pretty epic in bed" He adds.
I feel my mouth drop open before snapping closed when I hear Edward chuckle.
"Epic in bed huh?" I ask, giggling slightly. He nods, biting his bottom lip. "I'm going to remind you of that," I tell him.
"Oh, I think you should prove it now." He teases.
"Right now?" I reply sarcastically.
"Oh yeah, pull out all your best moves" He replies, his eyes dancing with mischief. I grin at him before rolling on top of him, his hands going to my hips as I slide one leg over his waist.
"My best moves?" I ask him. He nods, his eyes darkening at our position.
Oh I'm going to enjoy this.
I lean down, kissing him slow and sensual. Edward groans against my lips, his arms wrapping around my waist. We kiss leisurely before I move my mouth across his cheeks to his neck, kissing and sucking my way down to his collarbone. I hear Edward's breathing turn ragged before he lets out a moan as I suck gently on his nipple.
Edward's fingers run through my hair as I move further down his body, kissing down his stomach until I reach the waistband of his boxers. I hear his breathing turn heavy as I slide my fingers under the fabric and begin to pull them down. Edward lifts his hips, letting me pull them down over his ass, before sliding them down his legs and dropping them to the floor.
I move back up his body before taking his hard cock in my hand, pumping my wrist a few times, making Edward moan. I lean down, keeping my eyes on his before fluttering my tongue around the head. Edward lets out a shaky breath before groaning as I sink down onto him.
I suck him in deep, massaging my tongue against his length, then dragging my mouth back up to the head.
"Oh fuck" Edward moans, his head tilting back as his eyes close, his hand moving my head the way he wants. I continue to move my mouth over him before lightly dragging my teeth along the vein on the underside.
"Oh shit" Edward gasps, his head snapping up to look at me. "Yeah...just like that..." He moans, his hand putting more pressure on the back of my head.
I take him in deeper, swallowing around him and making him moan before sliding one hand down to his balls. I roll them in my palm, feeling Edward's legs twitch on either side of me.
"Oh! Yeah...yeah, yeah, yeah...just like that." He groans. I can tell he's getting close so I pull away, not wanting this to be over yet. Edward's eyes flutter open and I can tell he's going to complain until he sees me grab a condom from the nightstand.
"Put this on," I tell him before standing from the bed and stripping out of my clothes. Edward quickly opens the foil packet and fixes the condom to himself before I slip one leg over his hips, straddling him again. I sit just in front of Edward's cock, leaning forward until my lips are an inch away from his.
"You ready baby?" I whisper, teasingly. His breathing increases and he nods, his eyes dark and heavy before I lean up, rising to my knees and taking him in my hand. I line him up with my entrance before sinking down on him slowly. Edward lets out a shuddering breath before groaning loudly as I begin a fast hard rhythm.
As he asked, I pull out all my best moves. I lift myself up until only the tip of his cock is inside me before dropping down hard onto his hips, making Edward grunt with every movement. When my legs get tired I keep him deep inside, circling my hips and grinding against him, watching as Edward's eyes flutter and his mouth hangs open, taking deep breaths of air.
"Oh fuck" Edward groans when I begin to flick my hips, just the way he likes. I'm panting hard, my breathing in time with his before I lean back, resting my hands on his thighs and tightening myself around him. I can't help but smirk a little when I hear Edward's breathing stop completely. I look down at him, taking in his flushed cheeks and furrowed brow, his hands resting on my hips, clinging to the flesh there.
"You feel so good baby" I moan, feeling myself getting closer to my orgasm.
"Fuck...baby...I'm getting close..." Edward groans, dropping his hands to the bedsheets beneath him.
"Me too" I whimper. "I want you to cum with me" I whisper, my eyes meeting his. I see an emotion pass across Edward's face before he groans long and low. I increase the pace of my hips again until we're both panting for air. I lean back on his thighs again, reaching one hand back until I can roll his balls in my hand.
"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck" Edward grunts, his eyes fluttering closed. I decide to pull out his favourite move of all. I've never tried it like this before but hopefully, it will have the same effect.
"You ready to cum baby?" I moan, feeling my walls begin to flutter with my impending orgasm.
"Yes...please...fuck...please.." Edward groans. I lean back further, slipping my hand behind his balls until I feel the velvety skin there. Edward lets out a shuddering breath and a high-pitched noise leaves the back of his throat.
"Cum" I whimper, feeling my orgasm spike through my body just as I press my fingers up into that magic spot.
"Fuuuuck" Edward sobs into the air, his back arching as mine does the same. I can hear him groaning and feel him writhing beneath me but it's all background noise to my own moans and the pleasure moving through my own body.
I shudder above him until I eventually collapse forward onto his chest. We both pant for air before I lift my head, moving off of him and to the side so that he can dispose of the condom.
"Holy shit" Edward pants, swallowing hard as he lies back on the bed.
"So, is being with an older woman epic?" I giggle, my legs feeling like jelly.
"I've never felt like that...in my life" He replies seriously.
"Really?" I ask, leaning up on one elbow.
"Seriously, I've never come that hard in my life. I thought I was going to die or have internal bleeding or something" He chuckles making me laugh.
"I love you," I tell him quietly.
"I love you too birthday girl," He says, turning on his side and tucking me into his chest.
"I don't think it's my birthday anymore," I tell him.
"Well, even if it isn't, I still have something for you," He says quietly before rolling away from me and standing from the bed. He stumbles slightly over to his dresser and opens the top drawer. He hesitates for a moment before taking out a small box. As soon as I see it, I know it's a ring box and feel my mouth go dry and my heart beat overtime.
Edward turns to face me, his face serious, if not a little concerned.
"Don't panic," He says.
"I'm not" I reply, my voice high-pitched and obviously panicking.
"I'm not going to ask you to marry me" He clarifies. I feel myself relax a little bit at his words. It's not that it's never crossed my mind, but I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet.
Edward walks towards me, coming to sit in the bed again, pulling the covers up around us. He hands me the small box. I feel the soft velvet under my fingertips before looking up at him.
"What is it then?" I ask him.
"Well, open it and find out" He chuckles.
I look down and crack the top of the box open, revealing a beautiful silver ring, made from intertwined leaves. It's beautiful.
"Edward this is beautiful" I whisper.
"It's a promise ring. It's so that you remember that no matter what happens between us, you're my favourite person. You're the only person I've ever really loved and you've always been beautiful to me." He says quietly.
I look up at him with bleary eyes from unshed tears. A small smile crosses his face before he lifts a hand and wipes a single tear from under my eye.
"Thank you. It's beautiful" I whisper, taking the ring from the box and slipping it onto my right hand. It might not be an engagement ring, but it means just as much as if it were. "I love it and I love you," I tell him sincerely.
"I love you too. Always" He whispers before giving me a soft kiss and tucking me into his chest, sighing slightly. I rest my hand on his chest, looking down at the silver band around my finger, watching it sparkle in the low light.
"It suits you," He says quietly. I tilt my head up and see him looking at the ring on my hand.
"It feels strange wearing a ring" I giggle.
"Maybe one day you'll have another one" He whispers, his gaze flicking to mine. Edward and I have mentioned marriage and kids and stuff but never in relation to each other and the thought makes my entire body tingle.
"Maybe?" I whisper, feeling a small smile cross my face at the implication.
"Maybe" He whispers back, a grin crossing his face too. We stare at each other for a moment, just grinning before I drop my head back down to his chest, listening to his heart thumping under my ear. As Edward turns out the light, I feel myself becoming drowsy and my own heart beating in time with his.
Definitely maybe.