I looked out the window, longing to see a familiar shadow pass by it, sneeking in. It was foolish of me to hope, after all, he had promised me it would be as though he never exsisted. Still, I hoped it was some sort of twisted joke. Crazy, isn't it? Most people would never forgive someone if they played a joke like this, yet here I was, fighting the endless fatigue, begging everything in the world that it was.
Once I was loved
I knew I was loved
I flew through my days in fanciful ways
Secure and sure there'd always be
Endless love for me
As I had every night before that, as midnight hit, I was forced to realize that he wasn't coming. He would have never been this late, even if he was hunting. He really was gone. Rolling over, I blinked away a few tears, promising myself that the only reason he hadn't called or returned was because he was busy with his family. That Jasper had finally lost control, and Edward had been asked to help Alice take him up to Alaska and keep an eye on him.
Each time I tried to convince myself of this, the logical side of my brain would quickly counter with But if that were the case where is Rosalie and Emmette? Surely they wouldn't need to go to Alaska as well. I had never before thought that I would want to see the harsh vampire, but now I wanted it with every fiber of my being, just so that my lie could be true. However, laying in bed the memory of walking into school every morning to find their table empty came crashing into my brain.
Gone is that love
My fanciful dove
Has tears in her eyes
She no longer flies
This time I wasn't able to stop the tears as they started to flow down my cheeks, my mind realizing what I tried to deny. He really was gone, he didn't love me. Gasping, my mind quickly went back in time, to a place where my glittering roman god would hold me in his arms, never worrying about anything more than me. It may have been a lie, but at the time I couldn't have known.
And yet, my heart will not despair
For it's there
Just a memory away
I felt his cold arms around me, humming my lullaby quietly to me as I fell asleep, excited for the prospect of morning strictly because it meant I would be able to see his face, look into his amber eyes, and see the joy that was there. Joy that was meant just for me. I let myself slip deeper into this fantasy world where Edward had never left me, and he still loved me.
Once I was loved
So always come what may
Love's happy memories
Ever will be loving me
Sighing happily, I decided I didn't want to go back to the cruel world of reality. Smiling, I fell asleep, never planning on truely waking up.
Okay, so that was just a quick piece that came to my mind today. The song is a lovely piece from the movie Slipper and the Rose intitled Once I Was Love. If you've never seen the movie... then you're really missing out. It's way good. Anyways, I'm going to be writing one more songfic with a song from this movie, and then I think I'll be done with this little set.