Ranma 1/2
Tender Loving Care
"Ranma..." Ryoga's whisper didn't even cause the pigtailed boy in front of him to stir, "Hey, Ranma, get up an fight me!"
Ryoga was becoming fustrated with the lack of response he was recieving, and decided that a fist into the other young man's skull would be a bit more effective. He brought his fist up, and thrust it down towards the seemingly sleeping rival, only to have it caught firmly and held steadily in a powerful grip.
"You have five second to explain why you're attacking me in my sleep," A hostile voice commanded.
"I'll have my revenge against you, Saotome, now get up and fight me!"
"Sure, now before I get up and beat you into a large mess, tell me what the Hell I ever did to you?"
"What?" Ryoga asked incredulously, "You DARE ask that question? Because of you, I've seen HELL!!!"
"Sounds lovely, but that doesn't answer my question," The figure's grip grew tighter on Ryoga's hand, uncomfortably tighter.
"You're the one to blame, Saotome! Since I was chasing you all over China, I ended up with this horrible curse!"
"Lemme guess, Jusenkyo?"
"And for that, I'll MAKE SURE YOU PAY!!!!" Ryoga brought his other fist towards his rival's face, only to have it caught also.
::SMACK!!!::
"[CUT OUT THE DAMN RACKET!]" Read the sign that smacked both martial artists out the window.
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"What was that?" Akane asked, sitting up in her bed.
"Probably just Pop, he tends to make a lot of racket during the night," Ranma-chan replied, "Oh, and thanks again for letting me stay in your room for tonight. It's nice to have somewhere to sleep that doesn't have heavy verberation from a large panda's snoring.
"Right, just don't do anything perverted, or I'll make you sorry!" Akane frowned a bit in the dark, "Though, I would like to make sure..."
"Akane...?" Kasumi's voice enquired from outside the door, "I... I think we have burglars..."
"Alright, Akane, I'll go make sure," Ranma volinteered, "It's the least I can do as a guest.
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Ryoga's head caught a second sign that was thrown, and read it out loud, "I've had enough of your crap when we were on the road, you ungrateful brat. Lemme get at least ONE..." Ryoga flipped the sign over, "Night of sleep!"
"What the hell is this?" The pigtailed boy growled, reaching to the back of his head, and pulling off the pigtail.
"Ranma? You even wear a clip on pigtail?" Ryoga asked with a raised eyebrow, before his voice turned smug, "I always knew you were a fake."
"I'm not Ranma, you dimwit!" The other young man turned to face Ryoga.
"Huh? Who are you?"
"Obviously not the center of your universe," Pantyhose Saotome growled, as he dusted himself off, "But first, I'm going to kick the living daylights outta you until the sun don't need to be shining, and then I'm going to repeat the action on whoever blindsided me out of that room."
"Wait," Ryoga requested, "What were you doing in Ranma's bed anyhow?"
"LEAVE MY HUSBAND ALONE!" A redhead screeched out, slamming a dumbell into Ryoga's head. Ranma-chan landed on top of the down boy, and faced her spouce, "He didn't hurt you any, did he, hunny-bun?"
At the pet name, Pantyhose Saotome's face cracked into a crooked and irritated expression, and his fingers curled and twitched like they were looking for something to grip firmly; the young lady's throat aught to suit his needs nicely.
Ranma-chan turned around and ducked, just before the two hands enclosed around her neck, "BAD MAN! BAD MAN!" She called out, while stomping on Ryoga's head several times. The pigtailed girl turne around and rose up quickly, 'accidentally' ramming the top of her forehead into the other Saotome's chin, sending him flying back a few feet on his back.
"Owww, that hurt!" Ranma whined while rubbing her forehead, and then rushed over to the dazed young man, "Honey, are you all..." The redhead looked up at the familiar sound of a fuse burning, as it was headed towards her. Her eyes grew wide as she realized the sound of how much air was being displaced by the object's approach.
Happosai was thoroughly pissed this time.
With a burst of all the speed she was capable, Ranma abandoned the two unconcious boys from the back yard, and high-tailed it. She didn't look back as the whole back yard of the Tendou home went supernova.
"RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN RANMA! IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! YOU'RE A CORPSE WALKING! YOU HEAR ME! A CORPSE!!!!" Demon-Happosai bellowed in a ki voice that sounded over the neighborhood.
And Run, Ranma did. She knew even attempting to deal with him at his current level of agitation was suicidal, en optimism. She even suspected that staying in Tokyo, if even Japan, was just making it more convenient to have her death warrent fulfilled. She rationalized, with the bank account she had built under her Pop's name, the US was a nice, LARGE continent to explore thoroughly, without letting anyone know where she was.
Her musing was stopped, as she twisted from an arrow that almost impailed her foot. Ranma-chan landed in a slide, right at the feet of Haun Tao.
"Hello, Ranma," the elder stated with a voice that was capable of chizeling a tombstone.
"Would love to stay and chat, but I have a psychotic former-perverted martial arts master after me," The girl replied, "It's kinda urgent business that I get the Hell outta dodge."
"Agreed," The ancient Amazon stated, "I can feel whoever's aura that is approaching slowly, I think they want to take their time with your demise. Unfortunatly, that would also conflict with our own priorities."
"Um, I thought you didn't want the wrath of an all powerful war-goddess on your hands. I guess you're not that fond of your culture surviving as I thought," Ranma replied smugly, knowing the woman would back up at the implied threat.
"Oh, you mean this one?" Ashura rose from behind the house that was in back of Haun Tao; her aura blazing bright enough to make it seem like dawn approaching, "We found her in a rather... tempermental state after being left tied to a light pole." Ranma's eyes followed the Elderly Woman's to the War Goddess's face, "As you can see, she's anxiously awaiting an outlet to her fustration."
"Uh... hi... Rouge?" the redhead ventured, already knowing she would not like the reply, especially since The elderly lady had already evacuated the general area.
"DIE!" Ashura growled, and hurled a fireball about two meters in diameter at Ranma. The redhead launched herself towards it, and at the last minute, twisted out of its path. She landed on the roof under the war goddess, and sprinted forward. When she got to the edge of the roof, she windmilled her arms to stop her from falling over. On the ground before her, awaited the whole Amazon hunting party that was sent out for her, looking up at the redhead expectantly...
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Genma and the Tendous looked into the backyard from the porch, or rather, the large pit that was left in place of their backyard, with two bodies inhabiting it.
"Only the master could wreak devistation so terrible," Soun stated somberly, fortunately, a part of the yard that held the dojo was still intact, though it left little consolation in his mind.
"Well, Daddy," Nabiki stated with a yawn, "We just cut the cost for a swimming pool by a great deal.
"What in the world happened here?" Akane asked, "and where's Ranma?"
"Rannnnnmmmaaaa.... I'll... k-kill..." The family was drawn to the horse voice of one of the young men, crawling out from the crater.
"Water... need... water..." the other one groaned. Kasumi went into the house to oblige their guest.
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"Oooooohhhhh Rannnnnnnmmmmmmaaaaaa-channnnnnnnn," A withered voice as old and as deep as the void called to the redhead; Happosai was upon her. Making a hard decision, she jumped down into the crowd of Amazons, that were caught completely by surprise at the girl's tactic, allowing her to push a good ways through before the bomb landed behind her.
Several Amazons went airborne, which caused confusion and panic in the rest that were not injured. Taking advantage of it, Ranma leapt onto another roof, and outran the trail of flame that was drawing close to her. She sharply turned, and jumped down, hoping to lose them all at street level. A cross-intercepting burst of flame cut off her escape. Ranma was surprised that Rouge managed to keep up with her.
"Oh... oh geez, no you..." Ranma whispered nervously. This maniac was the LAST one she wanted to deal with tonight
"Howdy," greeted the handsome young man wearing a trench coat and a compact propane tank to his back. In his hands, he held two flamethrowers shaped like six-shooters.
"I... didn't expect you tonight," Ranma gulped, "You aren't still mad, are ya?"
"Na, *boy*," the other replied, "I'm not mad. I reckon I'm downright LIVID!!!!" With that, he opened fire. Ranma-chan started to run backwards away from the chasing flame, before she ran into something un-yeilding; it felt a bit lumpy to be a wall.
The pigtailed girl looked up, right into the eyes of her dear transformed husband. In one massive hand, he held a boulder up high.
"Looks like you're bull friend there want's ta tenderize you before we flambe ya."
Right before the huge rock descended on the girl, Ranma dashed between Pantyhose Saotome's legs, climbed onto his back, and leapt onto another roof. As soon as her feet touched down, several balls of flame and various weaponry slammed into the spot she had only a split second to evade. Even as she managed so, Ranma had to twist out of the way of a stream of flame and cooking cutlery. Unfortunately, Ranma couldn't evade the huge rock that connected with her dead on.
"Nice shoot'n," the Texan in the trenchcoat complimented the massive bull creature. It just snorted, and pulled another chunk of road from the ground, while the other young man pulled a few more knives from his trench coat.
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Happosai was the first to arrive at the area that Ranma had landed, and without any hesitation, pummeled the lot with bombs. After he finished to his satisfaction, he growled at the 'bush' that was trying to subtly sneak away.
Ranma was forced to abandon the bush he was using for cover, when a fireball impacted with it, igniting it, "THERE YOU ARE!!!!! FEEL MY WRATH!"
"Excuse me, people," Ranma shouted, exasperatedly, "if you have a grievence with me, it would be beneficial for all of us if we settled this like civilized people." Ranma barely dodged the Amazon weapons, fireballs, flame streak, steak knives, boulder, and Happo-fire burst that descended upon him at the same time.
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"What did Ranma do to you that was so bad?" Akane asked. She herself didn't have anything against him, since he was always nice and polite to her; totally unlike any of the boys she had ever met before.
"He made my life HELL! That's what he did!" Ryoga growled, as he pulled his cover tighter over himself.
"[And you expect sympathy from whom?]" read the panda's sign. He lived with the boy, so whatever minor slight Ryoga felt had been wronged upon him was trivial at best.
"Well, we may be a bit more sympathetic to you if you would tell us what he did to you," Nabiki stated, wanting the story so she could get back to bed.
"I... I can't tell you my shame!" Ryoga pleaded, thrusting his hand toward them in sorrow, and catching a glass of water.
Genma-Panda screamed like death was coming for him, and ran through a wall, while the rest of the family was too stunned to notice.
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Haun Tao hopped down into the lot, and found not trace of the redhead, "i swear, that girl's human instinct for survival will never cease to amaze me."
"THERE HE GOES!" one of the Amazon women cried out in Mandarin. Everyone took off in pursuit like a charging army; those who could take to the air did so, while the rest ran through the streets, and the remaining took to the rooftops.
"Notgoodnotgoodnotgoodnotgood..." Ranma kept chanting to herself, and glanced back to see Pantyhose Saotome and Ashura almost upon him. In unison, the former launched another boulder, while the latter threw another massive fireball.
Ranma darted out of the way of the fireball, right into the rock, and shattered it with a punch. In the time Ranma was distracted, Rouge circled around, and attempted to divebomb her target. Ranma dropped and rolled out of the way, and shot to her feet before she was crushed by another rock. Unfortunately, she couldn't hold her balance, and was sent tumbling into the house.
She landed in a couple's bedroom as they stared incredulously at the hole that just appeared in their roof, and then at the redhead that fell inbetween them.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Ranma apologised, and then took off for the door. She arrived at the front entrance of the house, and opened it to about ten Amazons grinning at her.
"Ranma come out and play now, yes?" Shampoo asked, and then thrust her bonbori at the girl's head. Ranma leapt back, and rushed for the back entrance, finding it blocked by the lower half of a bovine beast. She slammed the door, and turned away, just as one of the windows shattered in, due to a projectile with a lit fuse.
Ranma quickly picked up the bomb, and opened the back door, "Holdthisformeasec." After the massive hands took the object, Ranma slammed the door again. She was blown forth with the door against her back still from the force of the blast; and when she recovered, she stepped over the large body, and made a break for it.
Rouge spotted her again, and took off in pursuit. Ranma frantically looked around for an escape, and found a large pond that just may do the trick.
"THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN! YOU'LL BE DEAD BEFORE THE COMING DAWN!!!!" shouted Ashura, right as she threw a fireball into the pond Ranma dove into.
"HA!" was the only part of the attack she heard, as a water cyclone headed straight for her. The now male Ranma watched, as the water tornado engulfed her, changing Rouge from her goddess form. Once the massive aura of Ashura that was being used to fuel the Hiryuu Shoten Ha was subverted, everything came crashing down. Ranma caught the angered young lady, and ignored the water and the other massive falling body.
The Amazons landed in the yard, just to see Ranma running away. Their pursuit was cut off by a thoroughly agitated aligator.
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"Hmm, Mr. Turtle seems rather ramboungious tonight."
"Indeed mistress, perhaps he found another prowler?"
Kodachi paused at the femenine screams, "It appears so."
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Rouge impotently pounded on Ranma's head, "Lemme go! Who are you and where's the infernal redhead?"
"What happened? You don't love me anymore?" Ranma asked with mock hurt.
"Lo-love?" Rouge replied in nervous question, "Who-who are you?"
Ranma's suspicions were all but confirmed, "You mean... you've forgotten about me? I... hurt!"
"I... I didn't... who are you?" Ranma gulped, if this didn't work, he was going to be in more trouble than before; not that it wasn't going to get him into trouble in the long run.
"Maybe this will jog your memory," Ranma planted a heavy kiss onto Rouge's lips, hoping the tactic would at least favor her to him again, if she really had feelings for him.
Rouge's eyes went wide, and then the slowly closed, as she sunk into the kiss. Inwardly, Ranma grinned, as he gained one ally back. His internal celebraction was cut short, as his legs were snagged by a an extended snake cane.
"Brilliant, Ranma, you managed to foil the Xi Fa Xiang Gao Shiatsu with a rather... unorthodox method," Haun Tao complimented, "Now, the chase is over, time to get iced, Foo'."
"AT LAST, MY BREATHERN! OUR SAVIOR HAS BEEN FOUND!!!!" Ranma couldn't have been happier to hear that zealot's voice.
"Oh, ancestors, not those idiots again," Haun Tao groaned. Victory was in her grasp, however, and she... screamed at the empty chain.
Ranma ran with Rouge holding onto him tightly, and came to a screeching halt at the sight of Happosai, Pantyhose Saotome, and Creed standing before him.
"End of the road, pard'ner," Creed stated, "ya ready to die crispy?"
"Waitaminute," Ranma requested quickly, "Who's gonna kill me?"
"ME!" all three of them shouted at once (well, one bellowed, actually, but Ranma understood what he said), and then looked at each other.
"Husband dear," Ranma cooed, gaining curious looks from Creed and Happosai, while the giant yeti-ox-crane-eel began to fume hot, "If I die, you're never get your name changed."
"Husband?" Rouge enquired with a curiously and unnerved lilt.
"Just trust me on this, okay?" Ranma whispered back to her, and subtly pinched a nerve to remove her from conciousness. The beast growled and moaned in reply. "I don't think it would be worth it, going through life all alone, with a name like that. I mean, I'm the only one that sympathizes with you!"
Both Happosai and Creed backed away from their third partner subtly, while giving him a sideways accusing glance. "Hey! Why you looking at him like that?" Ranma enquired with a curious tone.
"Er... no, no reason," Creed quickly tried to placate, earning a furious snort from the massive creature. Pantyhose Tarou slammed his fist towards the Texan, only to have him dive back, and fire a stream of flame. Both the beast, and Happosai, were caught. Happosai's already made Happo fire Bursts were also caught by the flame.
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The Amazons were forced to fall back under the zealous attack of the robed men that easily outnumbered them and were fanatic enough to outfight them. They retreated to their current base of operations, so that they could defend better.
As they did so, Haun Tao cursed Ranma for all she was worth.
"WE SHALL FELL THESE SHE-DEMONS THAT WISH TO HARM ARE MESSIAH!" Arch-Bishop Joe shouted, "READY MORE OF THE BLESSED MOTOLOV COCTAILS OF RITIOUSNESS!"
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Rouge woke up to Ranma untying her from a light post in the wee hours of dawn, "Huh? Ranma?"
"Shhh, you've been out here a while," Ranma replied, unwinding the pantyhose from the other girl, "Let's get back, I need some sleep."
Rouge nodded and walked with Ranma back to the dojo. She thought about the dream she had, the sweet dream where she felt Ranma's lips against hers, and wished it to be reality. Also, in the back of her mind, she wondered why Ranma was so singed and beat up.
Ranma retired to the guest room, and collapsed from exhaustion. Five minutes later, the alarm sounded.
It was going to be a long school day.
Tender Loving Care
"Ranma..." Ryoga's whisper didn't even cause the pigtailed boy in front of him to stir, "Hey, Ranma, get up an fight me!"
Ryoga was becoming fustrated with the lack of response he was recieving, and decided that a fist into the other young man's skull would be a bit more effective. He brought his fist up, and thrust it down towards the seemingly sleeping rival, only to have it caught firmly and held steadily in a powerful grip.
"You have five second to explain why you're attacking me in my sleep," A hostile voice commanded.
"I'll have my revenge against you, Saotome, now get up and fight me!"
"Sure, now before I get up and beat you into a large mess, tell me what the Hell I ever did to you?"
"What?" Ryoga asked incredulously, "You DARE ask that question? Because of you, I've seen HELL!!!"
"Sounds lovely, but that doesn't answer my question," The figure's grip grew tighter on Ryoga's hand, uncomfortably tighter.
"You're the one to blame, Saotome! Since I was chasing you all over China, I ended up with this horrible curse!"
"Lemme guess, Jusenkyo?"
"And for that, I'll MAKE SURE YOU PAY!!!!" Ryoga brought his other fist towards his rival's face, only to have it caught also.
::SMACK!!!::
"[CUT OUT THE DAMN RACKET!]" Read the sign that smacked both martial artists out the window.
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"What was that?" Akane asked, sitting up in her bed.
"Probably just Pop, he tends to make a lot of racket during the night," Ranma-chan replied, "Oh, and thanks again for letting me stay in your room for tonight. It's nice to have somewhere to sleep that doesn't have heavy verberation from a large panda's snoring.
"Right, just don't do anything perverted, or I'll make you sorry!" Akane frowned a bit in the dark, "Though, I would like to make sure..."
"Akane...?" Kasumi's voice enquired from outside the door, "I... I think we have burglars..."
"Alright, Akane, I'll go make sure," Ranma volinteered, "It's the least I can do as a guest.
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Ryoga's head caught a second sign that was thrown, and read it out loud, "I've had enough of your crap when we were on the road, you ungrateful brat. Lemme get at least ONE..." Ryoga flipped the sign over, "Night of sleep!"
"What the hell is this?" The pigtailed boy growled, reaching to the back of his head, and pulling off the pigtail.
"Ranma? You even wear a clip on pigtail?" Ryoga asked with a raised eyebrow, before his voice turned smug, "I always knew you were a fake."
"I'm not Ranma, you dimwit!" The other young man turned to face Ryoga.
"Huh? Who are you?"
"Obviously not the center of your universe," Pantyhose Saotome growled, as he dusted himself off, "But first, I'm going to kick the living daylights outta you until the sun don't need to be shining, and then I'm going to repeat the action on whoever blindsided me out of that room."
"Wait," Ryoga requested, "What were you doing in Ranma's bed anyhow?"
"LEAVE MY HUSBAND ALONE!" A redhead screeched out, slamming a dumbell into Ryoga's head. Ranma-chan landed on top of the down boy, and faced her spouce, "He didn't hurt you any, did he, hunny-bun?"
At the pet name, Pantyhose Saotome's face cracked into a crooked and irritated expression, and his fingers curled and twitched like they were looking for something to grip firmly; the young lady's throat aught to suit his needs nicely.
Ranma-chan turned around and ducked, just before the two hands enclosed around her neck, "BAD MAN! BAD MAN!" She called out, while stomping on Ryoga's head several times. The pigtailed girl turne around and rose up quickly, 'accidentally' ramming the top of her forehead into the other Saotome's chin, sending him flying back a few feet on his back.
"Owww, that hurt!" Ranma whined while rubbing her forehead, and then rushed over to the dazed young man, "Honey, are you all..." The redhead looked up at the familiar sound of a fuse burning, as it was headed towards her. Her eyes grew wide as she realized the sound of how much air was being displaced by the object's approach.
Happosai was thoroughly pissed this time.
With a burst of all the speed she was capable, Ranma abandoned the two unconcious boys from the back yard, and high-tailed it. She didn't look back as the whole back yard of the Tendou home went supernova.
"RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN RANMA! IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! YOU'RE A CORPSE WALKING! YOU HEAR ME! A CORPSE!!!!" Demon-Happosai bellowed in a ki voice that sounded over the neighborhood.
And Run, Ranma did. She knew even attempting to deal with him at his current level of agitation was suicidal, en optimism. She even suspected that staying in Tokyo, if even Japan, was just making it more convenient to have her death warrent fulfilled. She rationalized, with the bank account she had built under her Pop's name, the US was a nice, LARGE continent to explore thoroughly, without letting anyone know where she was.
Her musing was stopped, as she twisted from an arrow that almost impailed her foot. Ranma-chan landed in a slide, right at the feet of Haun Tao.
"Hello, Ranma," the elder stated with a voice that was capable of chizeling a tombstone.
"Would love to stay and chat, but I have a psychotic former-perverted martial arts master after me," The girl replied, "It's kinda urgent business that I get the Hell outta dodge."
"Agreed," The ancient Amazon stated, "I can feel whoever's aura that is approaching slowly, I think they want to take their time with your demise. Unfortunatly, that would also conflict with our own priorities."
"Um, I thought you didn't want the wrath of an all powerful war-goddess on your hands. I guess you're not that fond of your culture surviving as I thought," Ranma replied smugly, knowing the woman would back up at the implied threat.
"Oh, you mean this one?" Ashura rose from behind the house that was in back of Haun Tao; her aura blazing bright enough to make it seem like dawn approaching, "We found her in a rather... tempermental state after being left tied to a light pole." Ranma's eyes followed the Elderly Woman's to the War Goddess's face, "As you can see, she's anxiously awaiting an outlet to her fustration."
"Uh... hi... Rouge?" the redhead ventured, already knowing she would not like the reply, especially since The elderly lady had already evacuated the general area.
"DIE!" Ashura growled, and hurled a fireball about two meters in diameter at Ranma. The redhead launched herself towards it, and at the last minute, twisted out of its path. She landed on the roof under the war goddess, and sprinted forward. When she got to the edge of the roof, she windmilled her arms to stop her from falling over. On the ground before her, awaited the whole Amazon hunting party that was sent out for her, looking up at the redhead expectantly...
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Genma and the Tendous looked into the backyard from the porch, or rather, the large pit that was left in place of their backyard, with two bodies inhabiting it.
"Only the master could wreak devistation so terrible," Soun stated somberly, fortunately, a part of the yard that held the dojo was still intact, though it left little consolation in his mind.
"Well, Daddy," Nabiki stated with a yawn, "We just cut the cost for a swimming pool by a great deal.
"What in the world happened here?" Akane asked, "and where's Ranma?"
"Rannnnnmmmaaaa.... I'll... k-kill..." The family was drawn to the horse voice of one of the young men, crawling out from the crater.
"Water... need... water..." the other one groaned. Kasumi went into the house to oblige their guest.
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"Oooooohhhhh Rannnnnnnmmmmmmaaaaaa-channnnnnnnn," A withered voice as old and as deep as the void called to the redhead; Happosai was upon her. Making a hard decision, she jumped down into the crowd of Amazons, that were caught completely by surprise at the girl's tactic, allowing her to push a good ways through before the bomb landed behind her.
Several Amazons went airborne, which caused confusion and panic in the rest that were not injured. Taking advantage of it, Ranma leapt onto another roof, and outran the trail of flame that was drawing close to her. She sharply turned, and jumped down, hoping to lose them all at street level. A cross-intercepting burst of flame cut off her escape. Ranma was surprised that Rouge managed to keep up with her.
"Oh... oh geez, no you..." Ranma whispered nervously. This maniac was the LAST one she wanted to deal with tonight
"Howdy," greeted the handsome young man wearing a trench coat and a compact propane tank to his back. In his hands, he held two flamethrowers shaped like six-shooters.
"I... didn't expect you tonight," Ranma gulped, "You aren't still mad, are ya?"
"Na, *boy*," the other replied, "I'm not mad. I reckon I'm downright LIVID!!!!" With that, he opened fire. Ranma-chan started to run backwards away from the chasing flame, before she ran into something un-yeilding; it felt a bit lumpy to be a wall.
The pigtailed girl looked up, right into the eyes of her dear transformed husband. In one massive hand, he held a boulder up high.
"Looks like you're bull friend there want's ta tenderize you before we flambe ya."
Right before the huge rock descended on the girl, Ranma dashed between Pantyhose Saotome's legs, climbed onto his back, and leapt onto another roof. As soon as her feet touched down, several balls of flame and various weaponry slammed into the spot she had only a split second to evade. Even as she managed so, Ranma had to twist out of the way of a stream of flame and cooking cutlery. Unfortunately, Ranma couldn't evade the huge rock that connected with her dead on.
"Nice shoot'n," the Texan in the trenchcoat complimented the massive bull creature. It just snorted, and pulled another chunk of road from the ground, while the other young man pulled a few more knives from his trench coat.
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Happosai was the first to arrive at the area that Ranma had landed, and without any hesitation, pummeled the lot with bombs. After he finished to his satisfaction, he growled at the 'bush' that was trying to subtly sneak away.
Ranma was forced to abandon the bush he was using for cover, when a fireball impacted with it, igniting it, "THERE YOU ARE!!!!! FEEL MY WRATH!"
"Excuse me, people," Ranma shouted, exasperatedly, "if you have a grievence with me, it would be beneficial for all of us if we settled this like civilized people." Ranma barely dodged the Amazon weapons, fireballs, flame streak, steak knives, boulder, and Happo-fire burst that descended upon him at the same time.
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"What did Ranma do to you that was so bad?" Akane asked. She herself didn't have anything against him, since he was always nice and polite to her; totally unlike any of the boys she had ever met before.
"He made my life HELL! That's what he did!" Ryoga growled, as he pulled his cover tighter over himself.
"[And you expect sympathy from whom?]" read the panda's sign. He lived with the boy, so whatever minor slight Ryoga felt had been wronged upon him was trivial at best.
"Well, we may be a bit more sympathetic to you if you would tell us what he did to you," Nabiki stated, wanting the story so she could get back to bed.
"I... I can't tell you my shame!" Ryoga pleaded, thrusting his hand toward them in sorrow, and catching a glass of water.
Genma-Panda screamed like death was coming for him, and ran through a wall, while the rest of the family was too stunned to notice.
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Haun Tao hopped down into the lot, and found not trace of the redhead, "i swear, that girl's human instinct for survival will never cease to amaze me."
"THERE HE GOES!" one of the Amazon women cried out in Mandarin. Everyone took off in pursuit like a charging army; those who could take to the air did so, while the rest ran through the streets, and the remaining took to the rooftops.
"Notgoodnotgoodnotgoodnotgood..." Ranma kept chanting to herself, and glanced back to see Pantyhose Saotome and Ashura almost upon him. In unison, the former launched another boulder, while the latter threw another massive fireball.
Ranma darted out of the way of the fireball, right into the rock, and shattered it with a punch. In the time Ranma was distracted, Rouge circled around, and attempted to divebomb her target. Ranma dropped and rolled out of the way, and shot to her feet before she was crushed by another rock. Unfortunately, she couldn't hold her balance, and was sent tumbling into the house.
She landed in a couple's bedroom as they stared incredulously at the hole that just appeared in their roof, and then at the redhead that fell inbetween them.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Ranma apologised, and then took off for the door. She arrived at the front entrance of the house, and opened it to about ten Amazons grinning at her.
"Ranma come out and play now, yes?" Shampoo asked, and then thrust her bonbori at the girl's head. Ranma leapt back, and rushed for the back entrance, finding it blocked by the lower half of a bovine beast. She slammed the door, and turned away, just as one of the windows shattered in, due to a projectile with a lit fuse.
Ranma quickly picked up the bomb, and opened the back door, "Holdthisformeasec." After the massive hands took the object, Ranma slammed the door again. She was blown forth with the door against her back still from the force of the blast; and when she recovered, she stepped over the large body, and made a break for it.
Rouge spotted her again, and took off in pursuit. Ranma frantically looked around for an escape, and found a large pond that just may do the trick.
"THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN! YOU'LL BE DEAD BEFORE THE COMING DAWN!!!!" shouted Ashura, right as she threw a fireball into the pond Ranma dove into.
"HA!" was the only part of the attack she heard, as a water cyclone headed straight for her. The now male Ranma watched, as the water tornado engulfed her, changing Rouge from her goddess form. Once the massive aura of Ashura that was being used to fuel the Hiryuu Shoten Ha was subverted, everything came crashing down. Ranma caught the angered young lady, and ignored the water and the other massive falling body.
The Amazons landed in the yard, just to see Ranma running away. Their pursuit was cut off by a thoroughly agitated aligator.
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"Hmm, Mr. Turtle seems rather ramboungious tonight."
"Indeed mistress, perhaps he found another prowler?"
Kodachi paused at the femenine screams, "It appears so."
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Rouge impotently pounded on Ranma's head, "Lemme go! Who are you and where's the infernal redhead?"
"What happened? You don't love me anymore?" Ranma asked with mock hurt.
"Lo-love?" Rouge replied in nervous question, "Who-who are you?"
Ranma's suspicions were all but confirmed, "You mean... you've forgotten about me? I... hurt!"
"I... I didn't... who are you?" Ranma gulped, if this didn't work, he was going to be in more trouble than before; not that it wasn't going to get him into trouble in the long run.
"Maybe this will jog your memory," Ranma planted a heavy kiss onto Rouge's lips, hoping the tactic would at least favor her to him again, if she really had feelings for him.
Rouge's eyes went wide, and then the slowly closed, as she sunk into the kiss. Inwardly, Ranma grinned, as he gained one ally back. His internal celebraction was cut short, as his legs were snagged by a an extended snake cane.
"Brilliant, Ranma, you managed to foil the Xi Fa Xiang Gao Shiatsu with a rather... unorthodox method," Haun Tao complimented, "Now, the chase is over, time to get iced, Foo'."
"AT LAST, MY BREATHERN! OUR SAVIOR HAS BEEN FOUND!!!!" Ranma couldn't have been happier to hear that zealot's voice.
"Oh, ancestors, not those idiots again," Haun Tao groaned. Victory was in her grasp, however, and she... screamed at the empty chain.
Ranma ran with Rouge holding onto him tightly, and came to a screeching halt at the sight of Happosai, Pantyhose Saotome, and Creed standing before him.
"End of the road, pard'ner," Creed stated, "ya ready to die crispy?"
"Waitaminute," Ranma requested quickly, "Who's gonna kill me?"
"ME!" all three of them shouted at once (well, one bellowed, actually, but Ranma understood what he said), and then looked at each other.
"Husband dear," Ranma cooed, gaining curious looks from Creed and Happosai, while the giant yeti-ox-crane-eel began to fume hot, "If I die, you're never get your name changed."
"Husband?" Rouge enquired with a curiously and unnerved lilt.
"Just trust me on this, okay?" Ranma whispered back to her, and subtly pinched a nerve to remove her from conciousness. The beast growled and moaned in reply. "I don't think it would be worth it, going through life all alone, with a name like that. I mean, I'm the only one that sympathizes with you!"
Both Happosai and Creed backed away from their third partner subtly, while giving him a sideways accusing glance. "Hey! Why you looking at him like that?" Ranma enquired with a curious tone.
"Er... no, no reason," Creed quickly tried to placate, earning a furious snort from the massive creature. Pantyhose Tarou slammed his fist towards the Texan, only to have him dive back, and fire a stream of flame. Both the beast, and Happosai, were caught. Happosai's already made Happo fire Bursts were also caught by the flame.
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The Amazons were forced to fall back under the zealous attack of the robed men that easily outnumbered them and were fanatic enough to outfight them. They retreated to their current base of operations, so that they could defend better.
As they did so, Haun Tao cursed Ranma for all she was worth.
"WE SHALL FELL THESE SHE-DEMONS THAT WISH TO HARM ARE MESSIAH!" Arch-Bishop Joe shouted, "READY MORE OF THE BLESSED MOTOLOV COCTAILS OF RITIOUSNESS!"
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Rouge woke up to Ranma untying her from a light post in the wee hours of dawn, "Huh? Ranma?"
"Shhh, you've been out here a while," Ranma replied, unwinding the pantyhose from the other girl, "Let's get back, I need some sleep."
Rouge nodded and walked with Ranma back to the dojo. She thought about the dream she had, the sweet dream where she felt Ranma's lips against hers, and wished it to be reality. Also, in the back of her mind, she wondered why Ranma was so singed and beat up.
Ranma retired to the guest room, and collapsed from exhaustion. Five minutes later, the alarm sounded.
It was going to be a long school day.