'Tender Loving Care'
A beautiful yellow and green and red butterfly fluttered and frolliced in the gentle breeze, its radiant wings almost glowing in the early sun's light, as it danced to and fro. It was a carefree butterfly, actually much too stupid to be capable of any such things as concerns, and thus guided only by its instincts and the whims of fate. At this moment, fate chose to land this darling insect upon a pristine white picket fence.
Such a creature of simplicity also was an intriguingly complex organism. Did you know butterflies taste with their feet, or that the wings of a butterfly are actually transparent? How about the fact that a butterfly has an average lifespan of thirty days...
::BOOM!!!::
Or less?
Akane continued to skip past the once pristine white picket fence, now marred with a large chunk missing from it with it's edges smoldering and charred. The youngest Tendou pouted slightly; these guys weren't very good at this game. On the other hand, when Akane was in Junior High, she was the queen of dodgeball!
To reaffirm her crown, she quickly turned, just as she realized one of the spheres were heading straight for her, and caught it easily. "Ha! You're out!" Akane proclaimed, before throwing it at a group of the men in white robes. She was bound to hit one of them, and with them grouped together like that, they'll stumble over one another trying to intercept her catch. See? Dodgeball genious, Akane Tendou was!
Alas, one of the men managed to catch it and hold firm to it; there went Akane's crown.
"Um... did she just..." The man holding the fist sized dark green sphere... well... oblonged sphere with the words painted in holy silver model paint 'Divine BOOM'on it.
"BY TH PIGTAILED ONE, YOU'RE STILL HOLDING I-"
"Hey, is Kasumi back from where ever?" Ranma enquired, as he walked into the threshold of the tearoom. Neither the quivering ball that resembled Soun Tendou or the one that resembled Nabiki responded.
Shrugging in indifference, Ranma ignored the sudden brilliant light from outside, and the mushoom cloud that followed, and decided he could make his own snack. Still, Kasumi had been out for a while, the pigtailed boy was growing slightly concerned about her.
Akane was depressed.
She should have realized she had been out of practice for so long that someone may be capable of matching her md l33t dodgeball skills, but she was arrogant and prideful.
Sighing whistfully, Akane perked up when they started playing a new game; flaming long darts.
"Let's see her catch these," one of the charbroiled men growled, "READY THE SECOND VOLLEY!!" The holy archers knelt, and awaited their arrow heads to be alit. Once the task was done, they were given the order to fire again.
Akane studied their trajectory, as they began to descend upon the telephone pole she was standing next to. She nodded, eyeing them as they buried partways into the concrete, and decided a winner, "You! The one with the mole on eyelid, you win!"
"I... I did?" his brethren grumbled unintelligebly as the appointed man began celebrating.
"FOR THE DIVINE RANMA, THIS ISN'T HORSESHOES!!!" Brother Joe cried out, "IF WE ARE TO PROVE OUR UNWAIVERING LOYALTY TO OUR SAVIOR, WE MUST SMITE THE SHE-DEMON THAT STANDS BEFORE US!!!"
"Jeez, must he always talk in caps?" Akane groaned, cleaning the earwax from her ears. As much fun as she was having with her playmates, it was getting to be lunchtime. Kasumi's lunches were definitely not something to be missed.
What was barely to be missed, was Akane's head.
The Raven haired girl paused, when she felt her head much lighter. She reached to the back of her head, and quickly patted the flaming tresses out.
"Dude, we cut her hair," one of the robed men mumbled, concerned.
"Uh, actually we more had seared it off," another commented.
Akane's undilating eyes turned towards the legions behind her, standing there dumbly, as if not sure what to make of the situation. It was one thing to actively try to brutally murder a sixteen year old girl in the name of your almighty lord and savior, but to cut her hair off with a flaming arrow...
"You...."Akane seethed, as she glared at the wall of men, "How... how dare you..."
The majority of them bowed their heads in shame, while others could not meet the girl's accusing gaze.
At their apologetic contenence, Akane wasn't satisfied, "You realize how LONG it took me to grow my hair out? IT WASN'T EASY YOU KNOW?!?"
"Um... we're sorry?" Brother Joe apologized, meekly.
"You're sorry, huh?" Akane marched up to them, causing all of them to flinch at her angry approach. She got right in the face of Brother Joe, "Well, you're going to be REALLY sorry!" With that, the young girl shoved her way past the man, before shoving another one out her way, "MOVE IT! OUTTA THE WAY BEFORE I HURT YOU! MOVE!!!"
All the diciples of Ranma watched dumbly, as Akane made her way through them to the other side of the wall, and marched home. After several minutes, they all finally realized something.
"Uh, wouldn't it be a good idea to stop whatever she's about to do?" one of them asked.
Akane slammed the door behind her, and began to stomp down the hall. She paused, growled, and turned around. After removing her shoes, she turned back down the hall, and stopped at the base of the stairs. She heard her sister Nabiki whimpering in the tearoom, and made a slight detour, "Nabiki, cellphone. Now."
Without question, the quivering girl reached out, and handed her youngest sister her cellphone. Akane took it, and marched upstairs. At that moment, Ranma walked into the tearoom, "Was that Akane? What's wrong with her?"
Once again not getting an answer, Ranma decided to check to see if Akane was alright. She seemed to have quite an attitude coming in, and he wondered what set her off. As he was about to start up the stairs, he heard the front door slam open, and an army of feet rushing through the hall.
Recognizing his loyal diciples, Ranma quickly blocked the stairway. "L-Lord Ranma?" Brother Joe questioned, wondering why their great deity was impeding them.
"Shoes," Ranma commanded, "Kasumi will have a fit if she knew you didn't take them off before you came in here!"
Quickly obeying their god, the robed men quickly rushed back to the front, left their shoes in a pile, and ran back. Ranma pulled himself to the side just in time to not get run over by the desperate zealots. Blinking in curiousity, Ranma followed them all, straight towards the room with the yellow duck on the door.
"Alright, what's going on here... huh?" Ranma paused after shoving men out of his way, finding Akane flipping through a personal phone book, and then quickly dialing a number on Nabiki's cellphone...
Lance Corporal Amura looked up into the sky again, thankful for the lack of noise as he had been for over fifty years. The filthy American dogs knew not to attack this island, for Amura himself ensured that his position was heavily fortified. He had to, for he knew the Emperor's secret weapon was hidden there.
Still, he wished he could have a little excitement, or at least his ol' pal Superior Private Toshida around for a good dirty joke or two.
Amura paused, as he heard the noise behind him. Slowly, he turned, and saw the ground beginning to rise, before giving way to the tips, then the shafts of the great Emperor's final strike against the land of devils across the Pacific. After being installed only a scant few years ago, they were now to be the turning point in this war.
lance Corporal Amura couldn't help but cheer, and also didn't note the fact that the gigantic missiles were aimed back West...
Nabiki froze, finally willing the bad things to go away. During her terror striken haze, she realized Akane had asked for her cellphone. The only time she had ever done that was...
Faster than she had ever moved before, the middle Tendou sister bolted up the stairs, and to Akane's room.
"STOP!!!" Akane commanded, as the holy platoon in her room, not including Ranma and Nabiki, approached her as one, "One false move and I press the pound button!!!"
"Akane, you can't be serious!" Nabiki pleaded. Ranma blinked at the undistilled fear in Nabiki's voice, before realizing this might be something serious.
"LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MY HAIR!" Akane shouted, "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M SERIOUS!!!"
Ranma looked between the sisters, "Uh, what's going on here?"
Nabiki stepped back in shock, before she grew a cocky grin to cover her panic, "You're bluffing, Akane. We both know you couldn't raise the funds to buy the Uranium from the Iranians.
"Alright, time out," Ranma had to interject, "Just how in the HELL is she able to afford uranium, or a death satilite for that matter?"
"She has a account," Nabiki answered, factually, "You'd be surprised at how many anarchists consider her a charitable cause."
"BACK TO THE GIRL HOLDING YOUR LIFE IN HER HANDS, PEOPLE!!!" Once Akane was satisfied she was the center of attention again, "So I wasn't able to get the uranium, big deal. Remember my first attempt at veal stroganoff?"
Nabiki paled, "Oh... GODS NO!!!"
Akane nodded with a sinister grin.
"But that'll take out the whole of Japan!!!" Nabiki's eyes narrowed, "Including yourself."
At that reminder, Akane thought, and then shrugged, "Well, you can't make an omlette without leaving some toxic waste!"
The majority in the room paused, and looked to Nabiki for clarification. "D-don't ask," Nabiki answered.
Akane's insane laughter interrupted things, "Just a few minutes, and it's alllllllll over!" Akane suddenly felt the cellphone jerked from her hand, "HEY!"
Ranma arched the fishing line, causing the phone to land in his hand. Calmly, he turned it off, and pocketed it, "Well, that's that." Ranma turned to leave, and abruptly paused.
Akane was seeing red. How dare he, how DARE HE? She was going to make him pay, oh yes. She had so many beautiful ways to make him pay. None of them could actually stop her, Akane would prove this without much effort. If it was the last thing she did, she would have the last laugh.
She crouched, ready to bum rush Ranma, before she noticed the pigtailed boy backing up from the door. Blinking, she looked beyond him, just in time to see an etheral blue glow in the hall, followed by...
"Ka... Kasumi?" Nabiki enquired, backing up along with Ranma and his zealots.
Kasumi cool, authoritative eyes focused on Akane, "Young lady, you are in big trouble!"
A beautiful yellow and green and red butterfly fluttered and frolliced in the gentle breeze, its radiant wings almost glowing in the early sun's light, as it danced to and fro. It was a carefree butterfly, actually much too stupid to be capable of any such things as concerns, and thus guided only by its instincts and the whims of fate. At this moment, fate chose to land this darling insect upon a pristine white picket fence.
Such a creature of simplicity also was an intriguingly complex organism. Did you know butterflies taste with their feet, or that the wings of a butterfly are actually transparent? How about the fact that a butterfly has an average lifespan of thirty days...
::BOOM!!!::
Or less?
Akane continued to skip past the once pristine white picket fence, now marred with a large chunk missing from it with it's edges smoldering and charred. The youngest Tendou pouted slightly; these guys weren't very good at this game. On the other hand, when Akane was in Junior High, she was the queen of dodgeball!
To reaffirm her crown, she quickly turned, just as she realized one of the spheres were heading straight for her, and caught it easily. "Ha! You're out!" Akane proclaimed, before throwing it at a group of the men in white robes. She was bound to hit one of them, and with them grouped together like that, they'll stumble over one another trying to intercept her catch. See? Dodgeball genious, Akane Tendou was!
Alas, one of the men managed to catch it and hold firm to it; there went Akane's crown.
"Um... did she just..." The man holding the fist sized dark green sphere... well... oblonged sphere with the words painted in holy silver model paint 'Divine BOOM'on it.
"BY TH PIGTAILED ONE, YOU'RE STILL HOLDING I-"
"Hey, is Kasumi back from where ever?" Ranma enquired, as he walked into the threshold of the tearoom. Neither the quivering ball that resembled Soun Tendou or the one that resembled Nabiki responded.
Shrugging in indifference, Ranma ignored the sudden brilliant light from outside, and the mushoom cloud that followed, and decided he could make his own snack. Still, Kasumi had been out for a while, the pigtailed boy was growing slightly concerned about her.
Akane was depressed.
She should have realized she had been out of practice for so long that someone may be capable of matching her md l33t dodgeball skills, but she was arrogant and prideful.
Sighing whistfully, Akane perked up when they started playing a new game; flaming long darts.
"Let's see her catch these," one of the charbroiled men growled, "READY THE SECOND VOLLEY!!" The holy archers knelt, and awaited their arrow heads to be alit. Once the task was done, they were given the order to fire again.
Akane studied their trajectory, as they began to descend upon the telephone pole she was standing next to. She nodded, eyeing them as they buried partways into the concrete, and decided a winner, "You! The one with the mole on eyelid, you win!"
"I... I did?" his brethren grumbled unintelligebly as the appointed man began celebrating.
"FOR THE DIVINE RANMA, THIS ISN'T HORSESHOES!!!" Brother Joe cried out, "IF WE ARE TO PROVE OUR UNWAIVERING LOYALTY TO OUR SAVIOR, WE MUST SMITE THE SHE-DEMON THAT STANDS BEFORE US!!!"
"Jeez, must he always talk in caps?" Akane groaned, cleaning the earwax from her ears. As much fun as she was having with her playmates, it was getting to be lunchtime. Kasumi's lunches were definitely not something to be missed.
What was barely to be missed, was Akane's head.
The Raven haired girl paused, when she felt her head much lighter. She reached to the back of her head, and quickly patted the flaming tresses out.
"Dude, we cut her hair," one of the robed men mumbled, concerned.
"Uh, actually we more had seared it off," another commented.
Akane's undilating eyes turned towards the legions behind her, standing there dumbly, as if not sure what to make of the situation. It was one thing to actively try to brutally murder a sixteen year old girl in the name of your almighty lord and savior, but to cut her hair off with a flaming arrow...
"You...."Akane seethed, as she glared at the wall of men, "How... how dare you..."
The majority of them bowed their heads in shame, while others could not meet the girl's accusing gaze.
At their apologetic contenence, Akane wasn't satisfied, "You realize how LONG it took me to grow my hair out? IT WASN'T EASY YOU KNOW?!?"
"Um... we're sorry?" Brother Joe apologized, meekly.
"You're sorry, huh?" Akane marched up to them, causing all of them to flinch at her angry approach. She got right in the face of Brother Joe, "Well, you're going to be REALLY sorry!" With that, the young girl shoved her way past the man, before shoving another one out her way, "MOVE IT! OUTTA THE WAY BEFORE I HURT YOU! MOVE!!!"
All the diciples of Ranma watched dumbly, as Akane made her way through them to the other side of the wall, and marched home. After several minutes, they all finally realized something.
"Uh, wouldn't it be a good idea to stop whatever she's about to do?" one of them asked.
Akane slammed the door behind her, and began to stomp down the hall. She paused, growled, and turned around. After removing her shoes, she turned back down the hall, and stopped at the base of the stairs. She heard her sister Nabiki whimpering in the tearoom, and made a slight detour, "Nabiki, cellphone. Now."
Without question, the quivering girl reached out, and handed her youngest sister her cellphone. Akane took it, and marched upstairs. At that moment, Ranma walked into the tearoom, "Was that Akane? What's wrong with her?"
Once again not getting an answer, Ranma decided to check to see if Akane was alright. She seemed to have quite an attitude coming in, and he wondered what set her off. As he was about to start up the stairs, he heard the front door slam open, and an army of feet rushing through the hall.
Recognizing his loyal diciples, Ranma quickly blocked the stairway. "L-Lord Ranma?" Brother Joe questioned, wondering why their great deity was impeding them.
"Shoes," Ranma commanded, "Kasumi will have a fit if she knew you didn't take them off before you came in here!"
Quickly obeying their god, the robed men quickly rushed back to the front, left their shoes in a pile, and ran back. Ranma pulled himself to the side just in time to not get run over by the desperate zealots. Blinking in curiousity, Ranma followed them all, straight towards the room with the yellow duck on the door.
"Alright, what's going on here... huh?" Ranma paused after shoving men out of his way, finding Akane flipping through a personal phone book, and then quickly dialing a number on Nabiki's cellphone...
Lance Corporal Amura looked up into the sky again, thankful for the lack of noise as he had been for over fifty years. The filthy American dogs knew not to attack this island, for Amura himself ensured that his position was heavily fortified. He had to, for he knew the Emperor's secret weapon was hidden there.
Still, he wished he could have a little excitement, or at least his ol' pal Superior Private Toshida around for a good dirty joke or two.
Amura paused, as he heard the noise behind him. Slowly, he turned, and saw the ground beginning to rise, before giving way to the tips, then the shafts of the great Emperor's final strike against the land of devils across the Pacific. After being installed only a scant few years ago, they were now to be the turning point in this war.
lance Corporal Amura couldn't help but cheer, and also didn't note the fact that the gigantic missiles were aimed back West...
Nabiki froze, finally willing the bad things to go away. During her terror striken haze, she realized Akane had asked for her cellphone. The only time she had ever done that was...
Faster than she had ever moved before, the middle Tendou sister bolted up the stairs, and to Akane's room.
"STOP!!!" Akane commanded, as the holy platoon in her room, not including Ranma and Nabiki, approached her as one, "One false move and I press the pound button!!!"
"Akane, you can't be serious!" Nabiki pleaded. Ranma blinked at the undistilled fear in Nabiki's voice, before realizing this might be something serious.
"LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MY HAIR!" Akane shouted, "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M SERIOUS!!!"
Ranma looked between the sisters, "Uh, what's going on here?"
Nabiki stepped back in shock, before she grew a cocky grin to cover her panic, "You're bluffing, Akane. We both know you couldn't raise the funds to buy the Uranium from the Iranians.
"Alright, time out," Ranma had to interject, "Just how in the HELL is she able to afford uranium, or a death satilite for that matter?"
"She has a account," Nabiki answered, factually, "You'd be surprised at how many anarchists consider her a charitable cause."
"BACK TO THE GIRL HOLDING YOUR LIFE IN HER HANDS, PEOPLE!!!" Once Akane was satisfied she was the center of attention again, "So I wasn't able to get the uranium, big deal. Remember my first attempt at veal stroganoff?"
Nabiki paled, "Oh... GODS NO!!!"
Akane nodded with a sinister grin.
"But that'll take out the whole of Japan!!!" Nabiki's eyes narrowed, "Including yourself."
At that reminder, Akane thought, and then shrugged, "Well, you can't make an omlette without leaving some toxic waste!"
The majority in the room paused, and looked to Nabiki for clarification. "D-don't ask," Nabiki answered.
Akane's insane laughter interrupted things, "Just a few minutes, and it's alllllllll over!" Akane suddenly felt the cellphone jerked from her hand, "HEY!"
Ranma arched the fishing line, causing the phone to land in his hand. Calmly, he turned it off, and pocketed it, "Well, that's that." Ranma turned to leave, and abruptly paused.
Akane was seeing red. How dare he, how DARE HE? She was going to make him pay, oh yes. She had so many beautiful ways to make him pay. None of them could actually stop her, Akane would prove this without much effort. If it was the last thing she did, she would have the last laugh.
She crouched, ready to bum rush Ranma, before she noticed the pigtailed boy backing up from the door. Blinking, she looked beyond him, just in time to see an etheral blue glow in the hall, followed by...
"Ka... Kasumi?" Nabiki enquired, backing up along with Ranma and his zealots.
Kasumi cool, authoritative eyes focused on Akane, "Young lady, you are in big trouble!"