"So," Ranma began casually, "any idea why your sister suddenly grew a backbone, claimed she gave birth to you, and is chasing you all over the neighborhood?" Ranma blinked, and looked up, "Oh, and can levitate, too?"
Akane stopped, looking around to ensure they were still in the clear; no sister or obsessive holy men around. After waving hello to Mrs. Hayashi who was watering her garden, she turned around and kicked Ranma in the face, "Alright quiet so I can think."
"Well, I could stab your eardrums, if that'll help," Ranma offered, sounding a mite bit irritated.
"I can't believe Kasumi would even joke about something like this!" Akane growled, punctuating her aggravation by grinding her foot into Ranma's skull. In an instant, she found herself seeing things from a new perspective.
"You know? Blue panties are definitely not you," Ranma commented. He wasn't sure of her response, seeing as how her dress was muffling her assuredly colorful commentary. Ranma plucked the taunt fishing line, nodding at the quaint humming sound that reverberated the whole length from the street light above them, to where it was snared onto Akane's leg. "So, chief, what do you plan on doing now?"
"MMmmph mm mmmu mmm-mm!"
"Huh? Can't understand with you gargling your dress." Ranma helpfully pulled the fabric from the girl's face.
"First, you're going to let me down," Akane stated with deadly calm."
"And then what?"
"We'll bury that body when we've brutalized it."
"I have a suggestion, Akane-ducky, Ranma. Why don't you two get your asses back home? I wouldn't want to cause a scene in the middle of the street."
Both Ranma and Akane blinked, before noticing the warm light they were being bathed in.
"GET ME DOWN NOW"
Soun's eyebrows just barely rose over the edge of the garden exit of the Tendou bomb shelter, before closing the lid once again, "The land isn't a barren ruin yet, I wonder what's taking so long?"
"You think Ranma stopped her?" Nabiki asked, hopefully.
"Stop your sister?" Soun asked, incredulously, before chuckling and patting Nabiki's head as he did when she was much younger, "Now, little Nabiki, you know full well there is no stopping Akane."
"Well, Mom used to," Nabiki commented, somberly, "Hey, are you patronizing me, Daddy?"
"How about when it's safe to traverse the soon to become desolate, unforgiving terrain, we get you a lollipop?" Soun offered, ruffling Nabiki's hair.
The middle Tendou sister surmised that her father's mind snapped, but that wasn't an excuse, "You're gonna pay out the nose for that one, Daddy... with whatever currency they will use in the new civilization. By the way, why hasn't Kasumi shown up yet?"
Soun paused, before looking upwards, "You can go get her if you like."
"Na, I'm sure she'll be okay..." Nabiki responded with false confidence and immense self-preservation.
"QUICK, IN HERE!" Akane immediately tugged Ranma into a department store, barely managing to pull the door all the way open before running through it.
"Hairspray, large rubber bands, steel ball bearings, linen dust rags, flat wood plank, matches..." Ranma idly took inventory of everything Akane was rapidly collecting from the shelves, "Hey, get that brand of lamp oil, it burns much cleaner."
The youngest Tendou nodded to Ranma and smiled in appreciation, as they both rushed by the counter, pausing only long enough to leave sufficient payment, and quickly exited.
"You do realize that's your sister you're about to firebomb, right?" Ranma enquired.
"Hush, you," Akane commanded, as she finished fastening the rubber bands around the rags, forming a neat ball. She quickly doused it with the lamp oil, and a nice coating of highly flammable hairspray to give it that bold, jazzy hold that would last all day.
"Akane-Ducky, if you don't stop this nonsense right now, you're going to be so in trouble!"
"You know? For someone who's floating several meters in the air, she makes an awful lot of empty threats." Ranma looked at Akane, "So, what's the wood plank for?"
"THIS!" Akane cried out, smashing it into the side of Ranma's head, knocking him into the ground in a daze. She then laid it upon him, with the raised end towards the flying Kasumi, and set the rag ball on the other side of the plank, "FOR THE LAST TIME, QUIT CALLING ME AKANE-DUCKY!"
To emphasize her irritation, Akane lit a match, and held it between the rag ball and the nozzle of the hairspray. She jumped on the other end of the board, launching the flaming projectile into the sky, arching it perfectly into her floating sister, smashing it into her gut, and sending her plummeting into the ground.
From the explosion that rose over the rooftops, Akane figured Kasumi's flaming caucus landed on a propane tank or something, "That'll learn her-YOUCH!"
"You dropped a couple of matches," Ranma helpfully stated, as he watched Akane hop around with her whole shoe on fire. He shrugged when he realized she wasn't paying attention, and tossed the now empty container of lamp oil into a nearby receptacle. "Gotta be careful about littering, you know?"
"AKANE! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT PLAYING WITH FIRE?"
Both teens turned to look incredulously at the sudden spire of flame that rose into the sky, before spreading into the shape of a bird that light up the day sky brighter than the sun. At the center floated a very livid Kasumi with her arms folded; tapping the fingers of her left hand against her right arm.
"You know? First her excellent cooking skills, then the flying thing, then this, your sister never ceases to amaze me."
Akane growled at seeing her attempt foiled, before tugging Ranma with her, "Come on, we're not licked yet"
"THERE! THE GREAT SYMBOL BEYOND THE HORIZON GUIDES US, LIGHTS THE WAY TOWARDS THE CHRIST-BEAST-"
"Uh, we're not Christians," one of the robed figures commented.
"TOWARDS THE BASTARD SPAWN OF SA- er... um... OF EVIL INCARNATE!" Brother Joe proclaimed, "COME, BROTHERS, LET US MARCH FORTH ON OUR QUEST TO VANQUISH THIS POX UPON HUMANITY!"
"She's an awfully cute pox though."
The disciple shirked back at the glares he received.
"ALL IN FAVOR FOR IMPLEMENTING THE RITE OF CASTURATION...?"
"So, you think she's wearing asbestos underwear or something?" Ranma enquired, still trying to consider how Kasumi survived getting hit by a flying ball of fire, and falling six stories onto a gas tanker or something.
"How dare she, how DARE she!" Akane growled in mantra, not even allowing her harried run to make her cease, "Fine, if she wants to play hardball, then welcome to the big leagues!"
Looking around, the nearby construction sight, "I got it! In here!"
"Didn't we do this bit already?" Ranma enquired, but followed anyhow. Both he and Akane ran around to the other side of the building foundation that had just been framed, before the raven haired girl turned, and stopped Ranma, "Stand here!"
"Um, okay, you're not gonna just leave me here, are you?" Ranma asked, not wanting to be left out on the great fun he was able to share with one of his fiancées. If Akane was always this exciting, he may just pick her!
Akane didn't answer, and ran behind a low stacked pile of I beams. Blinking, Ranma shrugged, and turned around as he felt the heat radiating behind him. "Uh... I bet you're looking for Akane, right?" Finally facing the obviously hostile nineteen year old woman, he gulped at the baleful glare and nod she gave.
"If you would be so kind as to tell me where my dear daughter is, we have a lot to discu-"
Ranma's eyes widened, as Kasumi suddenly flipped backwards, once again pummeling from the sky to land smack into the unlaid building foundation.
"RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!" Akane shouted, standing up from behind the I-beams and lowering her potato gun.
"Where the heck did you have that thing hidden?" Ranma asked, incredulously.
Akane didn't answer, as she decided to give a helpful assist to the building contractors by hopping into the cement mixing truck, and dumping the contents. Once the foundation was laid, Akane quickly worked to smooth it out, nodding in appreciation to Ranma's help. She had to note his quality craftsmanship as he evened out the quick drying cement.
"Not bad," Akane congratulated her accomplice, "You're actually pretty good at this!"
"Done it couple of times before," Ranma commented, "Seems the most convenient way to keep people from bothering you again. You do realize that was your sister we just buried, right?"
Akane waived the concern off, "Well if she wouldn't leave me alone, it wouldn't have come down to this." Akane started back home, "Come on, I'll be cooking dinner tonight."
Ranma gave one last glance back, before taking a step. As he did so, the tremors began, and grew to the point of registering on the Richter scale, "Uh..."
Both turned, seeing the newly laid foundation began to crack, before suddenly rupturing in a geyser of concrete shards that reached several stories high. From its source, an eerily glowing body pulled itself out of the hole created, like a demon breaking through the earth to escape from hell.
Both teens stepped back, now showing more than a little fear, as the figure's head snapped to look at them, barely obscured by the messy, dirty hair that draped over the face.
"You... are so grounded... Akane," Kasumi proclaimed in an unearthly, guttural growl.