Title: Out of Darkness
Author: Luna Rosa
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Fandom: Harry Potter
Summary: Remus Lupin has exiled himself from the wizarding world, unable to deal with the pain of the second war but a near fatal accident reacquaints him with the past and he realises that some old friends may be more in need of him than he thought.
Status: WIP, prologue to nine chapters.
Archive: SB/RL mailing list, Azkaban's Lair. Anywhere else; just ask.
Rating: PG13 - NC17 (eventually)
Originally posted: lovegrrl.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately these characters do not belong to me. I am just practising my Imperius Curse on them (shhh).
Dedications: (if any) Much thanks has to go to my dear friend and partner in HP crime, Maple Shy. I would never have finished this story if not for her constant encouragement. Beta thanks goes to Clara who is the faster beta I've ever seen. Thanks.
Author's note: I've been on somewhat of a sabbatical from fanfic for a while and it feels good to be back. Forgive cross post and Enjoy!
Title: Out of Darkness PrologueRemus Lupin pushed his long thin hands into his jeans pockets as he walked down Oxford Street. Summer in the city and the stifling heat wave of the last few days was already unbearable but still there was something about rush hour London that he had learned to love over the years. With all the people hurrying here and there, it was easy for him to get lost in the haze. He became anonymous for a short while. Even to himself.
He lived his life as a Muggle now, or at least as part of the Muggle world. He had discovered a little bookshop off Whitechapel road one day and stumbled into a decent enough job. It was tiring, but Remus found he craved the exhaustion that came at the end of the day and the money helped. The Muggle owners didn't even seem to notice when he took some time off and even if they did, they would hardly think of the real reason behind his obvious excuses. Nothing as elaborate as the ones he told in school. He smiled as he thought of his mother. She had been so willing to give up everything for him. Would she think it strange that he was hiding himself in the world that had belonged to her? A world she had left behind when she married his father.
This Muggle life had been a place for him to run to; a place that was safe and simple in comparison to his real life. It had been many years since Voldemort was defeated. Many years since he had been needed in his own world or more accurately, since he had wanted to be there. He had seen too much in his lifetime. Lost too many loved ones. When it came down to it, Remus felt old. He had turned forty three this year. Forty Three! He was sure he looked it.
The sun glinted off a large shop window as he passed and caught his eye, causing him to look into the reflective panes. His dark jeans were ratted around the ends, and a crumpled white shirt collar stuck out over the neck of a jumper he had rescued from the shop's lost and found. He might have looked like one of the city's many students were it not for the grey in his hair and the lines around his eyes. Old age had come to visit Remus Lupin and ended up staying for tea.
He didn't frequent London proper often, as he called it, except for his monthly trips to pick-up a stay fresh batch of Wolfsbane. The dingy little shop that supplied him was hidden behind an overflowing dumpster under Charing Cross Road. At least the potion was Ministry mandated now so he didn't have to pay for it, but he was sure the clerk was meant to take his details instead of just looking at him with distain. The first time he had drunk the potion from the shop he doubted if he'd ever wake up again and he hadn't cared either way. Now, he just gags slightly as the thick mixture goes down and realises Snape didn't make it taste bad just to torture him.
Remus smirked ruefully as he thought of the other man. He'd never forgive him! Snape had been cleared of charges, Dumbledore managing to protect him even from beyond the grave. What was it with that man and his inexplicable reasons for trusting obvious deviants in life? But Remus knew what it took to kill a man and Snape had done it only too willingly. The Ministry had been taken in though, The Prophet's front page screaming about it being a first, Dumbledore's portrait testifying at Snape's trial. It was a farce! People had been sent to Azkaban for less and Snape - Snape - got off scot free on the word of a magically charmed portrait; even if it was Dumbledore's.
Remus noticed another oblivious pedestrian hustle pass him; her nose stuck in the pages of Ms Rowling's latest hardback tome of fiction. He felt his heart contract; a deep line burrowed its way into his forehead.
How many of the books was that now? he wondered.
He didn't blame Harry for talking to Joanne. Not really. He had been surprised that Harry had chosen a Muggle writer but perhaps that was a wise choice in the end. Someone who wouldn't be caught up in the celebrity of being associated with the Boy Who Lived. Everybody had to deal with their emotions in some way, but part of him wished Harry had chosen someone else, someone who wasn't able to conjure up the wizarding world so completely.
No one could have guessed at the time what it would all lead to. How phenomenal the ' Harry Potter' series would become. Maybe someone should have stopped Harry. More and more Muggles were starting to notice things. The war had barely ended when the first book came out. The reality of Harry's fight against Voldemort had not yet been realised, but it had always been hard to say no to Harry. Once the dark-haired boy made up his mind, there were no questions. No way to stop him, even if it was dangerous. Even if it was fatal!
Remus hadn't read any of the books. He didn't need to study some bastardise version of himself to find out how the world saw him. Then again, Joanne only knew what Harry had told her, and Harry didn't know everything.
With a quick glance at the traffic, Remus crossed the street and jumped on a bus just as it pulled away from the curb. He had become used to Muggle transport in the last years. It soothed him. When he had wanted to disappear all those years ago, he hadn't been able to Apparate for fear of the Department of Magical Transportation tracking him. Now he just found comfort in the movement of the bus and the city passing outside the window.
The wizard dumped himself down on an upstairs seat and watched as the shop fronts strolled lazily by. Rush hour traffic! He would have been faster walking, but he was getting lazy these days. He laughed softly at himself; he was even taking on the Muggle idea that he was middle-aged.
His attention was peaked when he heard someone say his name a few seat behind him. Not the Muggle name he had assumed but his given name.
He slowly turned his head, half expecting, half afraid.
Three rows behind sat two girls in their early twenties. One with short brown hair and a t-shirt proclaiming the name of some Scottish band he'd heard of; the other with dark shoulder length hair, her skin suggesting something of eastern promise. Remus didn't recognise them but he soon realised they weren't paying any attention to him. They talked animatedly to each other, gesturing wildly with their hands. Remus turned away quickly but couldn't help listen to their conversation.
"When he showed up, I screamed," an excited voice exclaimed. "I only read the first six chapters so I'm a bit afraid about the silver hand. I'm trying not to think about it."
"What do you mean 'the silver hand'?" her friend asked. Remus could hear the confusion in her voice.
"Well, at the end of the last book, when Voldemort cut off Pettigrew's hand, he replaced it with a silver one. And we all know what silver does to werewolves!"
"Oh my god!" came the response. "I hadn't even thought about that… So do you think it's Lupin that dies."
Remus felt his side spasm at a memory. He rubbed his palm along the scar he had received in the final battle, trying to sooth the phantom pain. He should have died!
"I hope not, but he wasn't in the last book at all, then he shows up practically straight away in this one. It's just a bit too obvious," she declared in a frank tone.
Remus felt anger rising inside of him as they spoke. He wanted to scream, wanted to turn around and rip them to pieces. They were talking about his life like it was just a bit of entertainment, a piece of fluff for someone to write about and distort. They couldn't know the pain he had seen! The look on Harry's face when Sirius had fallen. The fear, loss, and anger that had gripped his own body within a matter of seconds. How hard it had been to hold Harry back, to hold his emotions back, when all he wanted to do was sprint towards the Veil himself. He couldn't let Sirius go!
Remus stumbled off the bus. Black spots clouding his eyes. He was gasping for breath; trying to regain control. Damn that book! Damn Joanne for writing it and damn Harry for letting her! Damn Bellatrix! Damn Voldemort! Damn Sirius and his inability to follow orders! Damn his need to protect Harry! Damn his bloody stubbornness!
Damn him for leaving!
Remus bent over grasping his knees. He panted heavily in the English sunshine, gulping in air until he could feel his body steadying again. Some pedestrians threw him strange looks as they strode by but Remus hardly noticed them. He lifted his head just in time to see the black cab swerve to avoid a cat which had wandered into the road. Remus barely had time to blink as the cab bore down upon him.
Pain!
Then blackness.
Remus could hear the echoes of distant voices.
They drifted drunkenly passed his ears. He struggled to open his eyes and could just make out the hazy blueness over the sky line.
As his breathing slowed everything started getting brighter, like it was being bleached over. Remus Lupin felt his head loll to one side, and he was gone.