Hearing Damage- Thom Yorke

Chapter 28

"What were you up to these last few days?" Edward asked as we walked to his car. Renesmee showed him rather than tell him.

"Renesmee, use your words," I reminded.

"But it's more specific?"

"He doesn't need to know what your coloring book looks like, just say you colored."

"But he can't be there?" I sighed at that. I couldn't be mad at her inquisitiveness or how considerate she could be.

"Alright. But you have to use your words with everyone else, ok?"

"OK..." She grumbled as Edward strapped her in. "But h-he can read anyone's mind?"

We froze.

"I try not to. Only when necessary because the mind is a person's safe space. It's only for them." he explained.

"You never read Mom's?"

"I was never able to," he said with a smile.

"Your mommy has a superpower too," I half smiled at that.

"New car?" I asked him.

"I figured I should have a family-friendly one," he said. I also thought Renesmee would have to ride in the seat like an adult, but he already had a booster seat installed. A warmth bloomed in my stomach. This is how the first few months should've been.

Once she was secured, her door was closed, and Edward appeared by the front passenger seat, propping it open. He smiled softly as an invitation. I had to duck my head to hide mine and rushed in, mumbling a 'thank you'.

We sat sort of awkwardly as he started the car- it was like we were a happy family, or closer to posing as one- and did a smooth and fast U-turn. It didn't take long for Renesmee to start giggling at the speed he was driving.

"Weeee! Ye-heah! Faster, faster!" she shouted. Edward grinned, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

"No!" I shouted. "Holy cow!" He was nearing 90 mph.

"We're gonna attract the cops!" I shouted with a smile. I couldn't deny it was kind of fun.

"Built-in radar," he said, tapping his temple. He looked over, my smile already fading. He said that driving me home from the Bella Italia restaurant. I settled back into my seat quickly and he slowed the car slightly.

There are going to be 'bad memories' or 'ruined memories', I told myself. But maybe it wasn't the original ties that tied me to him that needed mending or could be. Maybe new ones would have to be made.

The windows were tinted and rolled up, allowing me to look at the town as we passed.

"Has anyone from town seen any of you?"

"Carlisle," he said. "He's paid a visit to the hospital. The town already found out we're back. He thought it'd be rude not to," Edward said. I continued to play with the bumps of my bite scar.

"I wonder where the others are," I said, absentmindedly. "-probably off to college. I know some wanted to get out of here."

Did they hear they were back, too? Yeah, probably.

"Most of the group is still here. Angela, Eric, Newton," he listed. "They really hope you're okay,"

"I hope they've been okay too," I sat silently, but noticed him reaching out for my hand. He took it back just as fast.

"I would've gone to college too," I said

"If things hadn't happened."

"N-no... I meant Charlie would've made me. Not so sure I would've done well." I laughed. "We wouldn't have been able to afford it, not even with my measly earnings working at Newton's Outfitters."

"You can still go. Perhaps online school?" he said. I snorted.

"Talking about college seems so out of place. I never once thought about it after going to Angela's to help her send out letters. I never sent one for myself." At the time I was experiencing an odd desire for things to stand still.

"Your life can still be normal," he said after a beat.

"I don't want normal, Edward," I said, staring right at him. He stared back. "I was just distracted. They were nice to me, so I was worried about them. I want their lives here undisturbed."

"We can't help being a disturbance." I furrowed my eyebrows at that.

"Other vampires could just let you live in peace. That James wanted to play ball... that was his decision. Victoria coming back was hers."

"I promise we'll stop her," he said.

"I know."

I noticed Renesmee's eyes darting between us.

"We're just talking about old friends from school," I explained.

"Mommy," she reached out for me to touch, and I stretched to hold it. I sensed pity that I was worried about them. Then it shifted to confusion over our ages. She knew I was younger than all mothers she's seen but it finally clicked for her that I was a teenager last year.

"Yeah. I was still a child, sort of, last year. I'm twenty now." And Edward was still seventeen. He looked perfect as ever. What did I look like?

"When are you going to stop growing?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," I said.

"You still look the same," he said. "If you'd like, I can help you get your GED."

"I can't. Not with my own identity," I said. Even if I tried in a different state, I could be a blip in Charlie's radar.

"...with a new one, someday." That's if I remained with the family for a long time. Was he saying I would?

"About identities," I started, purposely turning the conversation away from me. "Renesmee has been homeschooled since birth. But, if she stops growing, she'll be able to go to high school. She probably should; I just don't really have the means to get documents for her,"

"I'll get them, don't worry,"

"She doesn't really have a surname though..." I said, twiddling my thumbs.

"The other night I said it wasn't official but that your family considered her as one of them. I wanted to make it her last name when she was born, but- If you're okay with it, can she have your last name?" I asked. Edward's hand at last covered mine, stopping my fidgeting.

"I would love that," His eyes looked slightly off to the side after a second, distracted by something else.

"I can call you 'Dad' now?" Renesmee shouted. My jaw dropped. Edward was also surprised but quickly laughed.

"Y-yeah," we said. She sits back, happy with herself. I had to lean far away and rest my head on my hand, the other grasping Edward's in return. But I was grateful she lightened the mood.

As if it were any other kid, the grandparents were already waiting for her in front of the house, and she ran into their arms shouting: "Grandma! Grandpa!". Esme was ready with snacks for us inside, eager to feed us.

Renesmee would've loved to play with her aunts and uncles in the forest, but that was something that would have to wait. She still had a great time playing football on a smaller scale. Edward and Alice used their abilities to 'predict' moves, Jasper tried to cause fatigue, Emmett was like a ram knocking everyone down and Alice easily escaped everyone's grasp. It was so much fun watching Carlisle be playful with his sons.

Emmett put her on his shoulders and paraded her around when she scored a touchdown. I was horrified when the ball landed in my hands. Everyone shouted at me to run and for Renesmee to get the ball from me. I still had to run fairly fast to avoid Renesmee's hands. She could run at my sprinting speed easily.

"Ungh. I wish the boys could get tired, I just wanna play dress up," Alice said, plopping herself down next to me on the lawn chairs. I chuckled.

"They may not get tired, but Renesmee's done for the day," I noted. She ran over, huffing, reaching for the juice and sandwiches.

"Tired?" she hummed in response and climbed into my lap, quickly finding her spot in the crook of my side.

"I'm exhausted just watching you," I joked, reaching for my own piece.

She was fast asleep before she could finish hers.

Later that night, she was up again and learning a small number at the piano with Edward. Edward had impressed her with his abilities, she was thoroughly amused, and he eased into teaching her what was apparently a melody he created for her. It was unmistakable that it was inspired by what he had once created for me.

"Does mommy have a song?" she asked. Edward looked up at where I sat on the cream-colored couch.

"Yes," he admitted. I wondered if he could see the pain I was feeling.

He started playing it for her, to satiate her curiosity, and it started playing memories of us in the forest. The meadow, sitting at the treetop- Places where it was just me and him and our feelings. How the world felt small and so large around us. How I sat next to him, as she did now, mesmerized by his abilities and the softness or delicateness of his heart that he was showing; and only showed to me in its entirety in his whole hundred years of life. It was very special to me.

His arms appeared around me, and I wrapped mine around his neck, hiding my face in him, letting myself sob soundlessly so Renesmee didn't hear. I wasn't sure if I felt sad, I felt kind of happy. I could barely remember the melody myself and here I was hearing it; it contained the same emotions as before.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Alice started. "But it's time,"

"It's okay, I'm fine," I rubbed the tears away and Edward called for Renesmee.

Everyone was already collected in the backyard. No one was staying behind, Jasper wanted to instruct everyone and make sure everyone had the necessary practice, so Renesmee was coming with us.

It was a bit far away, a few miles from the Sol Duc River. And Edward could only carry one of us.

"You can carry Renesmee, I'll ride on Alice," I said, she was already stepping closer. He nodded.

"How's it going?" she asked as she ran.

"It's...going pretty well,"

"Don't worry. It'll turn out great," I guessed she could still see Edward's future, no problem.

"Can you see how the battle turns out?"

"Something like that," she said. Oddly vague.

"Hmm. Keep an eye out for Charlie for me, okay?"

Resisting the urge to comment a lot...

The running part could've gone both ways and I wasn't sure what to pick, but Emmett wouldn't really offer to carry Bella, would he? Maybe I misunderstand him. He seems loyal to Rosalie and stuck to her side, maybe he'd keep an eye out on the Cullen's flank on the way over. Just like how Carlisle runs close to Esme. They'd definitely have a sibling relationship; I just never really saw it or imagined it. He still can't really handle her scent either, none of them but Rosalie can because of her 'hatred'. I would really love to hear if you think they have a full blown sibling relationship.

"You ready?" Em asked, stalking towards me like a predator. I was immediately suspicious. He was definitely planning something, some kind of prank.

"It's good to see ya, Bells," Emmett said. He bounded from tree to tree and ran precariously. I laughed out loud at the mania. I enjoyed being on his back, just like I did on Edward's and his careful approach to running. I looked over to my right and saw him and Renesmee enjoying themselves.