Title: Out of Darkness (4/9)
Author: Luna Rosa
Feedback:
Fandom: Harry Potter
Summary: Remus Lupin has exiled himself from the wizarding world, unable to deal with the pain of the second war but a near fatal accident reacquaints him with the past and he realises that some old friends may be more in need of him than he thought.
Status: WIP, chapter three of nine.
Archive: SB/RL mailing list, Azkaban's Lair. Anywhere else; just ask.
Rating: PG13 - NC17 (eventually)
Originally posted: My LJ: lovegrrl
Disclaimer: Unfortunately these characters do not belong to me. I am just practising my Imperius Curse on them (shhh).
Dedications: Beta thanks goes to Clara who is the faster beta I've ever seen. Thanks.
Author's note: To those who've been wondering about pairings... here it begins.
Chapter FourRemus opened the door of his room the next morning to the apologetic face of Neville Longbottom.
"Sorry it's so early," he greeted. "I said I'd meet Professor Sprout before her morning watering."
"I was awake anyway," Remus replied, looking away when he saw concern on Neville's face. He didn't want to talk about the nightmares.
"Not sleeping badly?" Neville asked.
Remus was sure he was taking in the already made bed and wondering if it had been slept in.
"Just a new bed to get used to," Remus explained breezily. "Shall we go?"
The sun was rising from the horizon, stretching their shadows on the ground beside them. It didn't take long before they were passing under the stone winged boars that guarded the gates of Hogwarts.
The grounds had an eerie feel to them. Summertime must always be like this, Remus thought. There was a distinct absence of something in the air that would usually be filled by the screams and catcalls of students.
The castle loomed before them and Remus felt a smile climbing to his lips. Perhaps it was normal to feel so affectionate about your old school. Remus didn't know, but it felt good to be back if only for a short time.
Neville bid him farewell inside the front doors, heading for the greenhouses and Remus began to climb the stairs towards the library. He had just reached the second floor when he met a familiar face.
"Well, hello to you too," he greeted the suspicious frown with a smile.
She didn't seem to like that.
"Come here then," he said, bending down to pick her up for the first time in his life. "Can't get me into detention anymore, can you?" he purred, stroking her fur.
"Fraternising with the staff now, are we?" came a familiar voice from behind him and he turned to greet it with a smile.
"Nothing of the sort, Minerva. Just reacquainting myself with old enemies." He finally let Mrs Norris free and she streaked off down the corridor. Probably in search of Filch none-the-less. "Old habits die hard, eh?" he called after her before turning back to the headmistress.
"The same could be said of you, Mr Lupin," Minerva charged with a smile. "You should know better than to wander the corridors without permission."
"It good to see you too, Minerva," he ribbed. "I wasn't expecting a welcoming committee."
"I have learned some of the school tricks over the last years," she told him with a grin but her expression changed quickly to something more sober. "I suppose you're here to see Madame Pince?"
Remus nodded in reply. The headmistress let out a sigh and began walking up the stairs towards the library. Remus followed beside her.
"Yes, I thought as much. Miss Granger was already here, as I'm sure you know, but couldn't find anything substantial. I can't help thinking that perhaps he doesn't want to be found. He had no problem making his presence known in the past."
"Whether he liked it or not," Remus added.
"Hmmm," she agreed mournfully. "I often wonder if perhaps Albus was a little too indulgent with him. I was as fond of the boy as he was, but I think we forgot too quickly that he was just that; a boy."
"He was never just a boy," Remus corrected. "Harry knew that. As much as he wanted a normal life he knew it was impossible. Not while Voldemort was around."
She stopped walking as they reached the library door and turned to look at him. "And what about now?" she asked grimly. "Do you think this is normal?" Remus could only suppose she meant his disappearance.
"No, Minerva," he frowned, "but I made a promise to his parents. I made a promise to his godfather." He paused as he saw her face soften but forced himself to continue. "And even if I didn't, I owe Harry more than I can ever repay him."
"Is that why you left?" her usual stern look appraising him.
No one had questioned him on his absence yet and he hadn't expected Minerva's words. He took a sharp breath and stood there, eyes wide with surprise. No convincing answer coming to mind.
"He had already lost enough people in his life, Remus. I was surprised you left when you had a chance to stay. Many others didn't get that choice," She added as she walked away.
Remus watched until she was out of sight. Minerva McGonagall certainly had a way of cutting a man down to size, perhaps not with the same genial expertise as Dumbledore but she had a style all her own none-the-less.
After a quick chat with Madam Pince Remus began to search the library. It was an arduous task to begin with, but he found his mind preoccupied with Minerva's words.
He knew what it was like to be left behind. To feel alone, abandoned. He hadn't thought he had done that to Harry, but perhaps he had been blinded by his own selfishness. He had rationalised that the boy didn't need him. Harry had Hermione and Ron, and then there was the Weasleys. Who wanted an old teacher hanging around? Cluttering up the place with battered books and patched robes.
They had spent so little time together anyway. They didn't know each other; not the way Harry and Sirius had known each other.
Remus's head fell into his hands as he thought of that name. He had been avoiding it for so long, avoiding the memories, the grief. How is it possible to deal with losing someone after only having them for such a short time?
That's what he had run from, and he would have run sooner if he could have.
He didn't know what had woken him until he saw the bird outside his bedroom window. He had been dreaming about the last moon. When he had finally found out the truth about Lily and James but then everything had gone so wrong. He didn't care about having to leave Hogwarts. The position had only been for one year and he'd done what he'd gone there to do. He'd protected Harry from the one who had betrayed his parents. Remus just hadn't expected that person to be Peter. He hadn't expected Peter to be alive.
Remus pulled open the window and let the bird hop in. It had a battered scrap of paper attached to its claw which Remus carefully removed and opened.
How do you feel about a house guest?
There was no signature but Remus recognised the perfectly formed calligraphy, a sign of an aristocratic upbringing. He smiled at the note, a house guest would be most welcome.
Three days, ten hours and seventeen minutes later, not that Remus had noticed, there was a scratching at his door.
He opened it to find himself attacked by a large slobbering and highly unkempt dog which easily knocked him to the ground before staring to bark impatiently.
"I'll shut the door, shall I?" Remus commented sarcastically while picking himself up off the ground. The dog barked again and watched as Remus completed the task before transforming into the highly unkempt form of Sirius Black.
"That's better," Sirius exclaimed shaking out his arms as if he was Padfoot shaking rain off his fur. "Had to stash Buckbeak in the wood on the other side of the village and come on foot from there. What's it called again?" he asked with a frown.
"Mudchute Green," Remus answered watching the other man.
"That's it," Sirius said. "Knew it was something mucky like that." He smiled as he looked up at Remus. "Jesus, Remus!" he exclaimed and in a few short strides had enclosed the other man in a firm embrace that caught Remus by surprise. "Are you well?" he asked eagerly, his arms still holding tight. "You don't look great," he frowned. "Pale, that's what you look."
Remus pulled back as much as he could and smiled. "I'm fine," he assured, his voice was shaky but he tried to cover it by offering Sirius some tea.
"Tea!" Sirius was scandalised. "Don't you have something a bit stronger than tea." He looked around as if expecting a bottle of firewhiskey to appear in thin air.
"It's not even midday," Remus began but stopped when he saw the look on Sirius's face. "I think I have some brandy if that'll do," Remus offered, beginning to look around the kitchen.
"Perfect," Sirius replied while he took a seat at the table. "This was your parents place, wasn't it?"
"Yeah," Remus answered as he opened the cupboard under the sink and looked behind some bottles.
"I remember that summer James tried racing me to the village and back. Was it after N.E.W.T.S.?" he looked at Remus who nodded. "I thought so; we were all of age by then. Got in enough trouble anyway. Moody nearly shot our arms off before offering us a spot on his squad."
"Ah," Remus exclaimed finally pulling out a dusty bottle of Hennessy's and wiping it with the sleeve of his robes. He grabbed two glasses from the counter and filled them before handing one to Sirius and sitting down.
"This the Lupin idea of vintage, is it?" Sirius teased as he looked up from the grimy bottle to meet Remus's eyes.
"Only if that's your idea of manners." Remus raised an eyebrow in challenge.
"Sorry," Sirius apologised, looking away. "Haven't needed them for a long time." He frowned before raising his glass in a toast. "Here's to adjusting to polite society."
Remus smiled and they both drank.
"So you live here alone?" Sirius asked. "No girlfriend, wife."
"No," Remus answered looking away. "No girlfriend."
"What about a boyfriend?" Sirius asked. Remus looked at him in surprise. "Well times have changed, or so I've heard," Sirius explained raising his hands in defence. "Apparently Andromeda's kid is..." he paused shaking his head. "That's off the point... and you never really showed much of an interest in girls."
"I'm a werewolf, Sirius," Remus said staring him dead in the eyes as if that should be the end of it.
"Yes," Sirius conceded. "But are you a werewolf with a boyfriend?"
"No," Remus answered looking away. "No boyfriend."
"So we're a pair of bachelors then," Sirius smiled. "Though, I have to say, I have more of an excuse for being single. Escaped mass murderer and all."
"Except you were never convicted," Remus asserted. "Never got a trial."
"I'll remember to mention that the next time someone has a wand to my throat."
"I'm sure they'll understand," Remus smirked taking a sip of brandy. "How long are you staying for?"
"Not long," Sirius frowned. "A day, maybe two. I have to keep moving. I'm heading south," he explained. "Buckbeak is tired though. He needed a rest."
"Does Dumbledore-"
"I sent him an owl to say I was leaving the country. Anything else can keep for now." Sirius frowned. "I just wish-" he stopped, turning the glass in his hand.
"Harry?" Remus asked.
"Yeah," Sirius sighed. "Bit of a shock seeing him like that. Looking so much like James... and yet, so unhappy. Reminding me of myself, really... Strange to think I'm his legal guardian, now. His illegal legal guardian," he added. "And I can't even give him a place to live."
"You could sign his consent form; for Hogsmeade," he explained when Sirius frowned at him. "I know the Dursleys didn't do it last year."
"A consent form!" Sirius snorted angrily. "The Black fortune at my disposal and all I can offer is a consent form!"
"It's what he needs," Remus shrugged. "Money doesn't matter to him."
"And what about you?" Sirius asked with concern. "I know you teach at Hogwarts but-"
"That was only last year," Remus interrupted. "Jobs are... a bit hard to come by lately. Since the Ministry's new laws were put in place."
Sirius managed to stay for two days. They didn't do anything out of the ordinary. Playing wizard chess was about as exciting as it got, but it meant a lot to Remus that Sirius had come to see him and that he seemed to be in good form considering. They had a chance to get to know each other again.
The next visit he didn't even send warning.
"Remus, Remus!"
"I'm here!" Remus shouted as he ran down the stairs to the kitchen.
Sirius was half collapsed on the chair, his hands bleeding and his face covered in sweat.
"Jesus!" Remus exclaimed when he saw the state him. He grabbed a wet cloth from the counter and began wiping away the blood.
"Never mind that," Sirius said gruffly, pulling his hand away. "Have you heard-?"
"Dumbledore owled," Remus interrupted, pulling Sirius's hand back. "I've been getting in touch with as many people as possible." He paused as he pinched a shard of glass out of Sirius's hand. The other man hissed with pain.
"Had to break Dung's window," Sirius explained. "He was passed out on the floor. Thought he was dead." He wiped his forehead with his free hand.
"How is Harry?" Remus asked looking up at Sirius.
"He saw Voldemort return!" Sirius said sharply meeting Remus's gaze. "He managed to survive Him trying to kill him again. He Portkeyed the dead body of Cedric Diggory back to Hogwarts. He was nearly killed by another Death Eater Polyjuiced as Moody and Fudge won't believe a word of it."
Sirius cursed the Minister before going on. "But he's alive," he managed shakily, closing his eyes in thanks. "Whatever other damage has been done-" he stopped now, a frown forcing him to look away.
"You'll be staying here?" Remus asked, pulling Sirius's other hand to check it for wounds.
"That was the plan," Sirius murmured. "If it's okay?"
"Of course," Remus replied swabbing the last of the blood away. "There's only me here. I could do with the company." He moved to the sink trying to wash the blood from the cloth.
"No girlfriend?" Sirius asked a teasing note in his voice. "No wife?"
"No," Remus replied shaking his head at Sirius's friendly jibe. "No girlfriend."
"No boyfriend?" Sirius asked, his voice quivering just enough to catch Remus's attention and cause him to turn around. The look on Sirius's face solemn and searching.
Remus took a moment to answer. The small of his back pressing into the countertop. He put the cloth down and placed his hands on the counter. "No boyfriend," he answered, trying to keep the nerves out of his own voice.
The corner of Sirius's mouth twitched. "You just never know nowadays," he smiled. "Do you?"
"That's what they say," Remus murmured, his hand clenching the edge of the counter for support.
Neville pulled Remus from the book for lunch and they made their way down to the Three Broomsticks. He suggested they get some food sent up from the kitchens but Remus needed the walk after being stuck in his memories all morning.
The pub was thriving with summer trade and they just managed to muscle their way around a small table at the back after waiting ten minutes at the bar.
"Phew," Neville sighed when he'd taken his jacket off. "Never thought I'd be so glad to get a seat in here." He picked up the menu from the table and gave it a quick once over. "Think I'll have the Shepard's pie," he said. The menu glowed for a moment and the dish Neville had just mentioned disappeared. "Ah, none of that left then. Only Banger 'n' Mash..." he looked down the menu, "or Wizards Special. Think it's best if I order at the bar," Neville said with a quick look around. "What do you fancy?"
"Whatever you're having is fine," Remus said, pulling some money from his pocket.
"I'll get this," Neville insisted, pushing Remus's hand away. "You got the Butterbeers." And he was gone before Remus could argue.
Remus sat back and took a sip of his drink. It was quite warm in here, the summer sun and the swarm of people seemed to counteract any wisp of fresh air that might have come from the open windows.
He pulled a list of the books he'd already looked at from his pocket and had a quick glance at it wondering what the connecting factor was and why Harry had spent so long pouring over them.
"Lupin?"
Remus looked up with an automatic smile on his face to see George Weasley in front of him. He knew it was George because the man was seated in a wheelchair. He'd never recovered from the Death Eaters' attack on him. They had crushed three of his vertebrae and severed his spinal cord in the process. One spell and he'd been paralysed from the waist down.
A Guide-hen sat on the red heads left shoulder. It was dirt brown in colour, no bigger than a child fist and was murmuring softly into George's ear. Remus couldn't hear what was being said but he knew what the animal was trained to do. Not only did it control the movement of the wheelchair but it was also George's guide to the world since he couldn't see anymore. They bird must have recognised him.
"George!" Remus exclaimed. "It's good to see you again."
"Wish I could say the same," George grinned, making Remus cringe at what he'd just said. "But at least you sound well." He put out his hand and Remus shook it enthusiastically. George's grip was strong and he placed his other hand over Remus's. "Still as thin as ever. Didn't they have food wherever you disappeared to?"
"They did," Remus smiled. "But not as good as your mother's."
"She'll be delighted to hear that," he said. "Not that I'm gonna tell her," he added. "The woman overfeeds everyone as it is."
"So what are you doing here?" Remus asked as he sat down again. The people at the next table grudgingly made room to fit George's wheelchair. Remus was sure he saw a cheeky grin on the other man's face but he couldn't be sure.
"Just checking on the shop," he said. "Like to poke my head in now and then."
"You have a shop in Hogsmeade?" Remus asked in surprise. "Bet Zonko isn't happy about that."
"Where have you been? Siberia!" George exclaimed. "We bought them out three years ago. Zonko was only too happy to sell. He was getting on and his kids weren't interested. What about you? A secret rendezvous, I hope?"
"Nothing so exciting," Remus explained. "Lunch with Neville Longbottom."
"Oh Merlin!" George exclaimed. "He's been trying to get me into Mungo's as a test subject for ages. He can't understand why I don't want to be poked and prodded by those idiots."
"Even if they can cure you?" Remus asked, confused why George wouldn't want that.
"What do you think?" George said leaning forward. "Would you let them experiment on you when they didn't know what they were doing?"
"Ah," Remus said shaking his head. "No, I don't think I would."
"Anyway, it can't just be Neville who dragged you back to the world of the living?"
"Yes and no," Remus explained. "I'm looking for Harry."
George's face fell and he frowned. "No one is taking that seriously, are they?"
"It doesn't seem that way," Remus observed tetchily.
"You have to understand," George said leaning forward. "Its not the first time he's gone missing. Everyone went mad the first time. He was only gone for a few days but The Prophet was already offering a reward for information. Scrimgeour even set up a special task force," George sighed. "Then he just... showed up. Wouldn't tell anyone where he'd been, just that he wanted to be left alone."
"He wouldn't tell anyone?"
"Well, I know Ron asked, and Ginny, but that was two years ago now... he didn't really owe them an explanation." George frowned. "Ginny was never really happy with that. I guess she knew a part of Harry that no one else did."
"So," Remus interrupted. "They're together, then?"
"Together?" George shrugged. "I don't know. Mum acts like they are most of the time but..." He frowned. "Harry never let anyone close to him after Ginny. And she's never brought anyone home to meet mum and dad. In a way, they remind me of Ron and Hermione at school. Everyone kind of assumes it's just a matter of time." George stopped talking and frowned. "To be honest, I thought he was trying to protect her from something. There was something different about him when he showed up the last time. The way he acted, the way he spoke..." George hesitated. "Maybe it's because I was listening differently."
"George!" Neville exclaimed as he made his way back to the table. "I didn't expect you to be here. How have you been?"
George left before their lunch arrived, but again Remus found himself thinking over what had been said to him. Something had been going on with Harry for a long time. He just had to find out what.
Please review :-)