Title: Out of Darkness (6/9)
Summary: Remus Lupin has exiled himself from the wizarding world, unable to deal with the pain of the second war but a near fatal accident reacquaints him with the past and he realises that some old friends may be more in need of him than he thought.
Archive: SB/RL mailing list, Azkaban's Lair. Anywhere else; just ask.
Rating: PG13 - NC17 (eventually)
Originally posted: my LJ Username: lovegrrl.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately these characters do not belong to me. I am just practising my Imperius Curse on them (shhh).

Dedications: Beta thanks goes to Clara who is the faster beta I've ever seen. Thanks.

Chapter Six

Remus managed to get out of bed by midday. Hermione had only stayed a few minutes giving him a chance to get more sleep before he felt hunger pangs setting in.

He pushed himself out of bed, thinking if he dressed and ate quickly enough he could get a good few hours going over his notes before Brendan arrived.

He headed to the compact but complete bathroom that belonged to the room. He couldn't help but stop when he saw his reflection in the mirror. He didn't have to catalogue any new scars thanks to the potion but there were enough old marks on his skin to keep any man busy.

He ran his finger along a wound that travelled from his left shoulder across his chest and ended at the bottom of his ribcage. That one had been bad! Was it in sixth or seventh year he'd woken up with that one? He couldn't remember, but the pain came back to him easily enough.

Pain that was rarely eased in his forty three years.

Remus felt his head being lifted up and a moment later the wonderful sensation of water hitting his lips. He swallowed eagerly.

"Merlin, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed. "Was it always this bad?"

"Yes," Remus croaked through a smile. "But we were too young to care and too arrogant to take heed."

"Why can't Snape keep making the potion for-"

"Sirius, don't!" Remus pleaded. "I can't listen to you bitch about him right now."

"Easy," Sirius advised as Remus tried to sit up.

"We've got to be ready for Dumbledore," Remus said pushing his hand aside.

"You're too tired. I'll go with him on my own," Sirius informed as he sat down on the edge of the bed blocking any chance Remus had of getting up.

"I'm not letting you go on your own!" Remus stated, alarmed that Sirius would even suggest it.

"Then I'll tell him we'll do it tomorrow... or the day after even. I can put off seeing that place indefinitely if I have to," Sirius smiled bitterly. "It's more important that I look after you," he surmised.

Remus sighed and leaned his head back into the pillow. "I don't like you playing my nurse maid," he said his eyes closing.

"All part of the service," Sirius joked. "I can even get the outfit if you like."

Remus laughed. "Not exactly an image I want in my head." He sighed sleepily and his body relaxed into the bed.

"Tired?" Sirius asked.

"Mmmm," Remus hummed.

"Sleep," Sirius said quietly. "I'll rearrange things with Dumbledore."

"Okay," Remus mumbled. He was already drifting off as he felt a hand ghost softly over his forehead before sleep overcame him completely.

He woke a few hours later to a tingling sensation. It took a lot of effort to open his eyes but when he did he saw Sirius sitting in the corner chair. A book abandoned on his lap.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not great," Remus confessed.

"I didn't want to wake you but I had to Scourgify your sheets while you were asleep," Sirius's tone filled with concern. "I think I missed a cut from last night."

"Right," Remus said, trying to push himself up. Sirius rose from his chair and hooked a hand under Remus's arm to help him. His naked chest was pale but there was no seeping wound.

"It must be on your back," Sirius said and Remus leaned forward slightly to give him a better look. "Yeah, must have torn that one open again."

Remus felt Sirius's finger lightly stroke an area just below his left shoulder and he shivered against the cold touch.

"Turn over and I'll apply the potion," Sirius ordered and Remus acquiesced.

Remus was cold now the sheets were pulled down to his waist but he still gasped when the potion touched his skin. Goosebumps standing to attention.

"Sorry," Sirius murmured.

His hands worked gently on Remus's skin. His fingers soft and caring on Remus's battered body and Remus could feel his skin warming quickly to the touch.

"Sorry," Sirius murmured again and it was only then that Remus's realised he had groaned at Sirius's attention. He took a sharp breath as he realised his body was reacting in other ways as well.

"Here," Sirius said as he stood from the bed. "Turn over and I'll help you sit up."

"I'm fine," Remus said, a slight blush rising to his cheek.

"It's okay, Remus," Sirius urged. "I don't mind. Nurse maid, remember," Sirius smiled down at Remus.

"No, Sirius." Remus closed his eyes in embarrassment. "I mean... I can't."

There was a moments silence as Sirius took this in. Remus could feel himself cringing inside when Sirius finally said, "Oh," so softly it was like a sigh rather than a reaction.

Remus opened his eyes as Sirius knelt down beside the bed so that they were eye to eye. Remus's breathing was shallow and he wanted nothing more than to pull the covers over his head and disappear.

As he looked at Sirius he noticed the other mans chest rising and falling with the short breaths he was taking. His eyes large with black pupils filling them.

"That's okay too," he whispered, his breath catching on the words. Sirius leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against Remus's, just enough so that he could feel the insistence of more behind it. Then he opened his lips slightly and Remus tasted the wet heat of Sirius brush over his lower lip before the kiss ended.

Sirius pulled back just enough to look at Remus; their noses almost touching.

"That okay?" he asked in the same whispered voice.

Remus swallowed against the dryness in his mouth, causing himself to gasp slightly. He reached his hand out and tentatively pushed a strand of Sirius's hair back behind his ear before nodding.

Sirius smiled softly. "You can turn over now," he murmured, starting to unbutton his shirt.

"Sirius, I-" Remus started as he pushed himself up on his elbow, his eyes never leaving Sirius's.

"I'm just going to keep you warm," Sirius eased, reading the apprehension in Remus's eyes perfectly. "Actually," he added as he toed off his shoes, "you can stay where you are."

His trousers still on Sirius carefully climbed over Remus and settled himself so that his chest was pressed against Remus's back. He ran his hand down Remus's arm to calm his nerves. Remus shivered at the touch.

Against his body's protests he turned so he could look Sirius in the eye. Knowing he looked unsure and uncertain about what had happened.

"What's going on, Padfoot?" he asked, his voice shivering.

"This? Sirius asked. "I just want to keep you safe. I want to make you feel better."

"And the kiss?"

"That was to make me feel better," Sirius said with a trace of a smile. "Something I remembered." He leaned forward and kissed Remus's shoulder gently.

"But we never did that before," Remus said through another shiver.

"Maybe it's just something I fantasised about then," Sirius replied, kissing just below where he'd placed the last one. "Does it bother you?"

"You fantasised about me?" Remus gasped as he felt his body react to the statement.

"Mmm huh," Sirius affirmed his lips vibrating against Remus's skin. "More often than is probably healthy. I'm surprised I can still see straight... no pun intended."

Remus turned fully now so that he was chest to chest with Sirius. His apprehension forgotten. His nakedness nothing so much as a contrast to Sirius's trousers.

"You can certainly keep a secret," Remus said before leaning forward and capturing Sirius's lips. Savouring it this time when he tasted Sirius. Running his tongue across the other mans lips and gasping when Sirius caught his lower lip between his teeth.

His hands reaching out to find the form of Sirius's back. The dip where his spine curved downwards. His fingers disappeared under the waistband of Sirius's trousers.

"Remus!" Sirius gasped as he pulled away, trying to put a distance between them. "Wait." His breathing was heavy and he looked away in an effort to break whatever spell was unfolding in front of them. "You're not strong enough."

Remus felt strong enough and his body was certainly ready. He was sure Sirius's was too and he moved his hip against Sirius to test his theory.

"Oh Merlin!" Sirius gasped in surprise as Remus brushed up against him. Sirius looked sharply at Remus. His eyes full and wanting. "You can't just do that to a man," he panted.

Remus moved his hip and Sirius jerked wantonly.

"Tell me about it," Remus said and caught Sirius's lips again.

Remus spent most of the afternoon and evening going over the notes he had taken in the last few days.

Lists of potions Harry had looked up at St Mungo's, the underlined names identifying the ones Slughorn had been contacted on. Reports and plans from the Ministry of Magic. He hadn't read the story of Grindelwald's defeat since History of Magic and he got somewhat lost in the accounts for a time. Lastly he went through the notes from Hogwarts, also containing a biography of Grindelwald along with one on Morgana and Nicholas Flamel.

He had decided to go back to Hogwarts tomorrow to look through another batch of books when a knock at the door interrupted him.

He must have looked surprised when he opened the door because the first thing Brendan said was, "You did get my letter?" in a tone that suggested he hadn't quite trusted the owl in the first place.

"Oh, yes," Remus replied absentmindedly. He glanced quickly at his watch. "I just didn't realise..." he trailed off as he opened the door properly for Brendan to enter.

"You've been busy," he said taking in the papers strewn across the bed and piled up on the small desk in the corner.

Remus nodded. "Just give me a second and I'll be ready to go." He closed the door and began clearing up the papers haphazardly.

"No rush," Brendan said picking up a scroll and unfurling it. "Find anything interesting?"

"Interesting? Yes," Remus sighed. "But whether it's any use..." Remus shrugged and dumped a pile of scrolls onto the table. He had to cast a balancing charm to keep them in place. "There were a couple of things on Grindelwald and his defeat," he added. "That kind of surprised me. Harry was never one for magical history."

"So you think there might be something in it?" Brendan asked as he made a place on the bed for himself. Stretching himself diagonally among the papers and propping his head up on his hand.

"Maybe, but how can I find out," Remus shrugged taking in the sight of the man laid out on his bed. Maybe they didn't really need to go out after all.

"Go to the source," Brendan suggested. "Who better to tell you then the one who defeated him?"

"Dumbledore?" Remus frowned, moving forward and grasping the end of the bed.

"I'm sure the portrait can be trusted if they okayed him to give evidence at a trial."

"Only on McGonagall's say-so."

"Well you can ask her then, can't you?" Brendan pushed as if this was the most obvious solution in the world. "But first," he stood and put his hand on Remus's cheek. "You have to buy me a drink," he winked.

Remus hadn't wanted to stay in the Three Broomsticks citing cabin fever, so they walked along the high street, passing the turn for Puddifoot's and the Hog's Head until they came to The Wizards End at the end of the lane on which Gladrag's cornered.

They had just ordered a second bottle of wine when the sun began to set over the lake making the view seem all too perfect. The light glistened off the water while the castle towers glowed in the dwindling radiance.

"I miss it sometimes, you know," Brendan said, his eyes not leaving the castle. "I've been out of the place longer then I was ever a student there and still..." Brendan trailed off as if his feelings could be understood implicitly.

"It's still part of you," Remus said. "The magic of it... it never leaves you."

"I think part of me died when they closed it," Brendan confessed. "It was as if the universe was saying that nothing is certain, nothing is constant." Brendan frowned. "I'd never accepted that before. Even when Aisling died I didn't really believe it. There were so many unanswered questions I thought if I worked hard enough, learned enough magic I could bring her back... But when Hogwarts closed..." He shook his head as if trying to explain what he meant. "I figured if it stayed open during the last war then Dumbledore would be able to protect it again.

"Everyone thought Dumbledore would defeat Voldemort," Brendan continued. "It was inevitable... Then afterwards they thought Harry would do it," Brendan paused and Remus looked at him. "Everyone got what they thought they wanted, didn't they?" Brendan stopped and turned to look at Remus, a line etched into his forehead. It was as if he was holding back. "But I've learned that there are two kinds of truths people allow themselves to believe; the most mundane and the most unlikely."

"You know something?" Remus asked, his question not one at all.

"I know more than what the public were told," Brendan said, his voice soft, unassuming. "I know Harry Potter didn't kill Him. Prior Incantatum proved he hadn't useed an Unforgivable. I know you were there."

"That doesn't mean-"

"I know," Brendan said with a soft nod. "I'm not trying to expose you or hurt Harry. I'm just trying to figure out what happened because... I think we might have something here." He looked up at Remus to make sure his point was clear. "And... something is hurting you that you can't let go. At first, I didn't think it mattered. I thought it must be easy to kill a man like that. Someone who isn't even a man, and I was glad he was dead." Brendan paused and looked down at the red wine in his glass. "But I've learned some things since then," his voice was hallow. "Killing a person isn't about who they are, it about who you are. What you are capable of... and what it'll end up doing to you in the end." Brendan swallowed, his eyes dark when they looked up at Remus. "And I began to wonder if you knew that too."

Remus was rooted to the spot as the body of Nagini slithered around the rock. It almost looked like she was smiling, pleased.

He was dragged back to himself as Harry grabbed his arm and pulled him close. "Get the wand," the boy rasped madly before pushing Remus away and darting through the stones away from the snake.

Remus pushed himself forward onto the ground, his stomach flattening the earth beneath him, and grabbed the wand with his right hand. It was warm to the touch but the horcrux had been destroyed. He got it into his robes before a crack announced the arrival of some unwanted guests.

He looked up to see the black robes and white masks of four Death Eaters. With some quick wand work he managed to send two crashing backwards with the almighty force of his best Stunning spell. They fell unconscious to the ground.

"Grab him, you fools," shrieked a cold-blooded voice and before he could react Remus was disarmed and restrained by the second set of Death Eaters. He struggled against them, his own wand inches from where he knelt, but felt a searing tightness wrap around his right arm. He turned and spat into the face of the Death Eater who held him.

Dark eyes flashed dangerously at him before the Death Eater leaned forward, his lips centimetres from Remus's ear. "Do you want to die?" the man asked severely.

Remus turned his face from the Death Eater to a fifth figure, this one far more imposing. "Who is it?" the Dark Lord asked, his own wand in his left hand.

"Lupin, Master," the dark eyed Death Eater offered.

"Ah, yes," came the delighted reply. "The werewolf!" He smiled cruelly. "We have been well informed, but where is the boy Potter."

Remus heard movement from behind one of the rocks. Harry!

"Come out, Potter, or your little friend will die a very painful death."

"I'd rather die," Remus spat, "Than let you anywhere near him."

"Patience," Voldemort called, his look almost gleeful. "I promise you will only live as long as you are useful."

Nagini had slithered her way towards Voldemort and hissed sinuously as she climbed up his leg.

"Yes, my dear," Voldemort soothed as he stroked her head. "The boy believes he can hide from me."

"I'll fight you," Harry called from somewhere behind Remus's left shoulder. Remus cringed when he saw the delight in Voldemort face. "But you have to let Remus go first."

Voldemort laughed. "You care for this..." His eyes fell disdainfully onto Remus who was struggling against the Death Eaters holding him. "This animal!" he snarled. "Surely you know how much better we are... or did Dumbledore fill your head with foolish nonsense."

"Don't you dare say his name," Harry called, and Remus could hear the anger in his voice. "Not when you didn't even have the balls to face him yourself. Had to send a child after him, didn't you? Did he frighten you that much?"

Voldemort's face snapped at these words. He leaned down to whisper something in Nagini's ear. The snake nodded and slithered across the ground to where Harry's voice had come from.

"Harry!" Remus shouted in warning before he was hit with a hex that caused him to scream out in agony. The left side of his ribcage shattered horrendously. Pain raged inside him and blood begin to seep through his robes.

"Silence," Voldemort demanded. "I promised you your time will come; do not make me fulfil my word too soon."

Voldermort turned his eyes away. Remus fought the overwhelming urge to collapse and through the tears of pain saw the snake disappear outside the circle of stones. He bowed his head and willed with all his might that Harry would hear his thoughts and run. It was pointless to face Voldemort now when all the Horcruces had yet to be destroyed.

"I was testing the child, as you call him," Voldemort said into the night. "His father had angered me; his mother was useless and could not hold her tongue. Thankfully," he smiled at this and Remus felt anger fire on top of his pain. "I have truly loyal followers among my flock."

Remus fought the urge to look at the man, the shell of a man before him. he couldn't risk Voldemort reading his thought's and destroying any chance they had a victory; but at that moment he wanted nothing more than to be let loose on the tyrant, no wand, no magic, just bare werewolf brawn, and rip him apart.

There was a deadly silence as Voldemort waited for Nagini to speak. The Death Eaters tightened their grip on Remus's arms and he was so powered by pain anger, and intent on listening, that he didn't struggle this time

The sound of a high pitched hiss rang out followed by the crash of metal hitting stone. Remus craned his neck to see what was happening, ignoring a further crack coming from his ribcage. A moment later an unearthly screech cut through the darkness, like a hundred fingernails being forced down a blackboard. Remus tried to cover his ears but the noise permeated into his skull.

"No!" Voldemort howled in anger. His spoke parseltongue into the night but no reply was heard.

There was movement and Harry came into sight; a sword hanging limply in his right hand. His shirt covered in blood so dark it couldn't have been his own. He stared at Voldemort from under hooded eyes which were dangerous and determined.

"You killed her," Voldemort snarled. He moved forward his wand pointed at Harry but the boy didn't move. "My Nagini." His chest rose and fell rapidly as anger coursed through his body bursting out of his mouth in furious rasps.

"You killed my pet," he said. "Now I'll kill yours." He turned sharply and pointed his wand at Remus.

"No," Harry screamed, dropping the sword and begging to run.

The Death Eaters freed Remus from their grasp at the same moment as the Killing Curse exploded from Voldemort's wand.

Remus threw himself forward instinctively reaching for his wand, pain ripping through his right side, even though he knew it was pointless. The Killing Curse was unstoppable. Only one person had ever...

Remus looked up as he grabbed his wand. The spell moments from hitting him, his vision filled with green...

Then...

Everything went black.

Harry had thrown himself in front of Remus. It hit the boy directly in the chest.

I'm not going to let anyone else die to protect me.

Remus watched, paralysed, as Harry's body was lifted into the air, his arms outstretched. Swallowed by the emerald glow of the curse.

Author's note: Don't hate me for the cliff hanger!