Chapter VI

Remember When

Sara sat with Catherine on one side of her, and Sofia on the other. She heard Catherine tell her she was safe. What surprised her the most, though, was that she felt safe. She looked at neither of the other women. Catherine knew about Ethan, but only Grissom knew about her childhood and he only knew about part of it. There was no point in trying to hide it now. "She's always been like that. I can't ever really remember her being nice, except when she was high. Most of the time, though, she wasn't the one I had to worry about." Sara shook her head and felt the pull of her demons, tugging her down into the roaring sea that was her past.

Tamales Bay, California

1982

She tiptoed, making her way from her small room to the front door. They, for once, had guests, and she did not want to disturb them. Outside it was balmy and breezy and Sara wanted to get in her morning swim before school. It was 5 AM and the sky was lightening to a soft pearl gray.

Tamales Bay was a coastal tourist town for the most part. People came for the views from the Pacific Coast Highway and the Nature Reserve. It was a long-standing tradition that boys had to swim the mile across and back the narrow bay. Like losing your virginity or getting your driver's license it was an important part of becoming a man. Sara had made that swim in the early hours of her eighth birthday. Much like her life, there was no lifeguard or promises of safety. It had been her versus the Bay and she had won. Now she liked to start every morning with the mile long swim. It was a good way to erase the recent memories of last night's screaming and hitting.

Her muscles protested as she took her first few strokes. The bag of oranges wrapped in a towel was her Dad's weapon of choice. It hurt but never left visible bruises. Her deep breaths sent sharp little pains through her chest from where a hard kick to the ribs had cracked something a few weeks ago. It was all a part of life, though, and she would get through it.

An hour later, she was back at home, getting ready for school and making pancakes for the guests that would expect breakfast from a bed and breakfast. She facetiously cleaned up the empty bottles and full ashtrays. She didn't know why she bothered. Her parent's B&B never attracted clients that overly cared about cleanliness. Their main concerns were booze, drugs and sex, though not always in that specific order. She stacked the pancakes on a plate and set the syrup out, along with the other breakfast offerings and then she grabbed her worn and heavy bag and tried to leave.

She didn't make it far. Her father was coming down off of something. His drug of choice at the moment was cocaine, but that meant little. He was sitting out on the front porch smoking what was probably a joint. "He-ey there, Girlie, where you off to?" Keeping a distance between them, she shrugged. "School. Breakfast is laid out in the kitchen if you want it." She could tell by looking at his blood-shot, half-mast eyes that he was in a dangerous mood. She began to ease back away from him, going slowly, the same way someone would back away from a rabid dog. He noticed. "Why you backing up, Girlie?" Sara froze. "I've just got to get to school, that's all." The man snorted, "School. What the hell good is school gonna do you? All a woman needs to know how to do is lay on her back and even you can't mess that up." Sara knew better to argue, but she started to back up again, anyway. "I still gotta go, Daddy." She instantly regretted her words. Tom Sidle jumped to his feet with an almost preternatural speed. "You sassing me, Girl?" She shook her head frantically, "No. No! I was just saying that I have to" The slap came quick and it came hard. The powerful backhand snapped her face around and knocked her backwards. The back of her head connected with one of the porch's support beams and for a moment, Sara saw stars. Her father grabbed her by the shirt collar and dragged her close. "The only thing you HAVE to do is what I say, and I say you're gonna be here today, cleaning the guest rooms. Do you understand me?" As one of his hands was curled into a hard fist, she did. "Yes Daddy. Yes Sir." He threw her back towards the door, and she hit the screen hard, the tiny metal threads cut into her skin, but she didn't cry out, she just opened the door and went inside.

Sara blinked and shivered a bit. "He was a big man, my father. Six foot five, over two hundred pounds. In our house he was God."

0000000

Catherine saw red and was suddenly glad the man was dead, because had he been alive, she would have tracked him down and throttled him. Sara had been a child, a little girl. She could see her in her mind's eye. Gangly and tanned with big brown doe eyes and bruised up legs. The very idea of a two hundred pound man striking her was terrifying. She looked over at Sofia for a moment, wanting to gauge the other woman's reaction. The blonde detective's blue eyes were steel hard and her mouth was set in a hard line.

Catherine sighed, "How about I take you home, Sara?" The brunette, predictably, shook her head. "No. I need to work."

Author's Note: Well, there you go. The further along in this story I go, the more I wish I'd never started it, but I had to, so here we are. It will get much darker before the dawn, and even the dawn will be tainted. I'm just a fluffy, sappy, happiness all around kind of girl, or didn't you notice that?