Guns, Sex and Space Fighters

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But that doesn't mean I can't mess with Artemis and Butler.

Summery: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash. Among other things R&R

Warning: It's SLASH. Fuck off if you don't like it.

Authoress' Greeting: Hello all! And welcome to the next over-due installment of Guns, Sex and Space Fighters. Hope you enjoy it. Even though it's short.

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Chapter 5: Aging Whores and Cowardly Droids.

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The stench of polluted air roused Butler from his slumber. And also the warmth of a small body cuddled up beside him.

A smirk slid itself onto his lips and the hunter opened his eyes.

Dull green eyes stared back.

Green eyes? Didn't Artemis have blue eyes? Butler shifted through his memory of the boys fair appearance and confirmed that yes. Artemis did have blue eyes.

So that meant that the person lying next to him was not Artemis. Unless the boy used contacts or something. But... if it wasn't the teenage criminal. Who was it?

Butler, who had closed his eyes again after meeting the stare of whoever the hell was in bed with him. Opened them again. Hoping against hope that this was a bad dream and in fact Artemis was lying here, snuggled up to him.

But it didn't seem like Lady Luck was smiling on him today. Not like she ever was. Because the dull, green gaze met him again.

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Butler sat on an over stuffed lounge of a local bar. Once again nursing some alcoholic drink in his hands and staring mournfully into the middle distance.

The stranger in his bed turned out to be an aging hooker who went by the name "Winky." She'd smirked at him when he continued to blink at her and said in deep gravely tones.

"Well good morning handsome. How would you like another romp?" and slid one thin, scaly hand up his thigh.

He'd thrown her out as soon as his brain registered what was happening when she'd started touching him in places she really shouldn't have.

Now, feeling violated, ill and very confused. The Bounty Hunter tried to figure out how he'd ended up in bed with some old whore, who was past her used by date and not with a sixteen year old murderer.

It was obvious Artemis had played him. And stole from him. If the missing four hundred dollars in his wallet was any clue. But how?

He didn't remember anything. All he remembered was talking to Artemis on the street and following the boy to this hotel. Then... uh... then.

"Then we had some drinks and... Oh!" Butler looked at his glass. "He must have slipped something into my drink. And when I passed out, got the hooker onto me, took my money and ran off." he nodded to himself. Pleased that he'd figured it out. Then paused when he realized what he'd figured out. "That. Little. Fuck."

He'd tricked Butler and stolen his money. And he was probably laughing at him too. Thinking what a stupid moron he was for falling for such a simple trick. He could see it now. Artemis flipping through the bills he'd stolen and laughing to himself. Well... he wouldn't be laughing for long. That boy didn't know who he was messing with.

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Butler didn't know how right he was. Because at that very moment, Artemis was in fact, flipping through the bills and laughing quietly to himself.

"Men can be so stupid." he said, folding the bills and putting them in a little black zip up pouch on his belt. (1) "I wish I could have seen the look on his face when he woke up. But I have places to go. People to kill. Speaking of which."

He looked over at the police cruiser sitting in a docking bay across from him. This had to be that Butler guys. He'd babbled about it while Artemis was getting him into bed. The drug he'd given him making him sing like a canary. He'd told him where his ship was. How long it'd been since he'd had sex. Where he hid his money. And what he did for a living. All about his childhood at the army and just life in general.

Artemis approached said ship and sneered up the small, rusting cruiser. What a heap of crap. A bounty hunter as successful as Butler was, you'd think he'd have a better cruiser than this shit box.

"Oh well... an old ship is better than no ship."

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"What do you MEAN my ship is gone?"

The droid. Which had broken the bad news to Butler, cowered. Oh he was used to dealing with rude, rugged pilot's. But this guy was holding a 224 Heelion Plasma Cannon to his head. He was big. Seven foot tall to be precise. Built like a troll. And did he mention he was aiming a 224 Heelion Plasma Cannon, which could tear a clean hole though reinforced titanium, at his head?

"Uh... well sir, you see... what happened was... one moment it was there and the next it wasn't."

A vein in Butler's temple started to throb and he cocked the Cannon a little.

"How was it, there one moment and gone the next? How the bloody fuck could you loose a ship!"

"I don't know?" was offered as a sheepish and quite lame reply. Because in truth. The droid didn't know what had happened to the ship he had meant to be guarding. He'd fallen asleep you see.

The Bounty Hunter gave one last death glare to the robot and stormed over to the now vacant lot.

"'One moment it was there and next it wasn't.' Stupid tin can." he muttered, looking the oil stained concrete over for any clue that might explain why--

"Hello. What's this?"

Butler bent down, picking up a white scrap of paper that was lying on the ground, something scrawled on it. He read it once, swore and walked out of the holding bay. Yelling about "Stupid little whores." and "I'll show you thanks you skinny tart!."

The droid, relieved he hadn't been blown to bits. Picked up the note the man had thrown on the ground. It read:

Thanks for the money and the ship.

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(1) When he says "Men.". He means. Men. As in fully grown guys. Not men in general. Otherwise he'd be insulting himself.

End note: I wrote another chapter. Aren't I good? (her voice echoes around the silent room.) Yes well... how'd you like it? See? Got you all thinking (most of you anyway, some of you guessed it was a trap) that Butler and Arty had a shag really early. But they didn't. Lol.

Hope you liked this chapter. I apologize for my lack of updates. I have no excuse other than writers block. Review and tell me nice things.

They don't have that button so you can mouth off.