Guns, Sex and Space Fighters
Disclaimer: I own nothing. But that doesn't mean I can't mess with Artemis and Butler.
Summary: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash. Among other things R&R
Warning: It's SLASH. OOC, cross-dressing, cursing. Fuck off if you don't like it.
Authoress' Greeting: The next chapter. I hope you all like it. Also I changed my mind about the boots Arty wears. They DO have a heel. Stiletto. XD Go cross-dressing!
(A big thanks to my beta for correcting my mistakes. And if anything is wrong, it's all me. And spell check.)
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Chapter 5: Public Transport Sucks.
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"'Thanks for the ship'. He says. Thanks for the ship? I'll thank him alright. With one of my guns to his pretty little head?"
A little girl, who had the unfortunate luck to be seated beside the irate Bounty Hunter. Bunched up her little hands and scooted another few centimeters away from him. Butler failed to notice, too wrapped up in his rage.
Without a ship he had been forced to take public transport. And while there really wasn't anything wrong with it. It just really sucked. The Intergalactic Council had created large, 5 story ships. Used to take families, refugees, soldiers and other people who couldn't afford their own cruises, across space.
It was a good idea. Butler had to admit. But the actual buses where something to be desired. They where big sure. But that was just the body. It was the seating arrangements that where the problem. Each bus had about 500 seats. Said seats where small iron things with thin padding. Not very comfortable. But they served their purpose.
Only when there was a passenger that exceeded the 200 kg weight limit was there a problem. Which was pretty often, seeing as there were a lot of races in space that did. But the council had somehow decided that the seats where strong enough to support a being that weighed over 630 kg.
They where also packed tightly together. With only 5 centimeters between each seat. So you where forced closer to the person beside you than you really wanted.
This and a few other reasons made Intergalactic Public Transport a less than pleasant way to travel.
"This completely sucks. That little whore is going to pay." Butler growled, receiving a few odd looks from surrounding passengers. The little girl shuffled away a little more, almost falling off her seat.
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Artemis looked at the poor excuse for a navigation system on the cruises control panel. It was telling him there was another three hours before he reached his destination. But according to his calculations, it was only two hours. He kicked the screen with one of his beloved boots and sneered as the little blue map flickered on and off. Finally turning off altogether.
"Piece of junk." he muttered, standing up and stretching.
He was headed for a bustling planet called Corasont. (1) The entire surface was a city. There wasn't one meter of the planet that wasn't covered in steel or concrete. It was Artemis' favorite planet of the millions he'd been to. It was crowded and he could hide from authorities. And it had good shopping.
Artemis doubted that fool Butler could find him in that bustling steel jungle. No other authoritative figure had been able too. And Artemis wasn't about to let his record of not being captured be broken by Domovoi Butler. Though he was pretty cute.
"Maybe I should have got a shag out of him while I had the chance." mused the boy absently. He shrugged and headed out of the bridge. He needed a shower.
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The Corasont Central Bus Stop was a bustling mess of activity. Butler noted that you couldn't go three feet without being hassled by a salesman, religious group or hobo's trying to scab money off of passing travelers.
There was also the hundreds of families, school groups, traveling entertainment groups, soldiers, couples, business men/women and the odd celebrity that passed in and out of these doors daily that you had to wrestle your way through in order to just get outside.
Butler didn't know why he had come to Corasont. It was just a hunch that Artemis may have come here to hide. The place was big enough. And it did pose as an ideal home for criminals on the run. Especially in the lower grounds of the city, where the actual bottoms of the enormous buildings stood forgotten in the thick fumes and fog that was a permanent fixture in the lower barracks.
"Excuse me sir. May I interest you in this lovely state-of-the-art watch that also doubles as a navigator for all your shopping, traveling needs." said a man suddenly, pushing himself in front of the hunter.
He was a bright, violent green colour and had four set of arms. His bright pink suit clashing horribly with his unique skin colour. The guy blinked at him patiently. Holding a case full of watches and trinkets before him.
Butler glared, he had no time for this, and tried to walk around the alien.
"No thanks. I already have a watch."
The salesman hopped to the side to stand in front of him again.
"Oh but these are so very lovely. I'm sure your partner would love one for his/her birthday."
"No thank you."
"All hand made!" the alien carried on, as if Butler had never spoken in the first place. "The battery re-charges itself, and the screen is so clear, you'll think it wasn't there at all! Just 200 celle, a bargain!"
A vein started to throb in Butler's temple. He really didn't have time for this. In one swift motion, Butler pulled a large energy based shot gun out of a holster on his hip and pressed it to the alien's cheek.
"Look I have just spent the last fifteen hours wedged between a little girl who can't keep her mouth shut and a obscenely large man with a bowel problem. I'm looking for a particularly dangerous criminal who seems to have the ability to disappear into thin air and the last thing I need is some pathetic little salesman with a hearing problem! I don't want your watches. I don't want anything you have to offer. So will you please get the fuck out of my way so I can get out of this fucking building in fucking peace?" he growled.
The alien nodded mutely, shuffling off quietly and disappearing into the crowd of people. Butler watching, still caught up in his rage. When they guy was out of sight, Butler turned around and started to walk out of the station. He pushed his way through the crowds, ignoring the cries and curses of people he elbowed out of his way. Then out of nowhere, a large blue alien came barreling toward him. Butler only had enough time to say a loud "Oi!" when the guy slammed into him and knocked him and someone else to the ground. The alien only pausing to say a brief apology and explain that he was running late before moving off again at an alarming speed.
"Asshole." muttered the Bounty Hunter sullenly. He gathered his stuff and looked to see whom else the fat terd had bulldozed to the ground.
A young girl with blond curls sat in a heap on the ground. Her white loose fitting dress crumpled around her thighs. She rubbed her head and looked up at the hunter with bright blue eyes. Butler started, stumbling to his feet and helping her up.
"I'm sorry. Are you hurt?" he asked, turning on his gentlemen mode.
The girl picked up a large black bag and nodded, smiling at him.
"Yes. I'm fine." she said.
Butler smiled.
"That's good, people should watch where they're going.". The girl smiled again and hoisted the bag onto a slim shoulder.
"I agree, these places are quite dangerous." she laughed lightly, then looked over her shoulder. "Well I must be going. Thank you for helping me." Butler was about to say it was nothing, she was a girl after all, when said girl stepped up to him, kissed his cheek. And whispered in a much deeper voice. "And ah... thanks again for the ship. It really came in handy."
To say Butler was shocked would be a vast understatement. As he watched Artemis skip backwards a few feet. Smiling at him coyly. The hunter snapped out of his socked daze quickly though and stared for the boy, hands outstretched. But Artemis, it seemed, had other plans. He dropped the bag, brought both hands (balled into fists) to his chest and cried out in a high girly voice.
"HELP! THIS MAN'S TRYING TO KIDNAP ME! SOMEONE HELP!"
Butler froze, mid step as surrounding people turned to look at himself and Artemis. It must have looked pretty suspicious to strangers. Artemis did make for a good girl, because they were upon the Bounty Hunter at once. Forcing him to the ground in a mass of angry women and police officers.
Artemis smirked, picked up his bag and walked backwards into the crowd. Blowing a kiss to Butler as the guard watched helplessly as he disappeared once more.
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(1) I borrowed this name from Star Wars. It's more than likely spelt wrong. But you get the idea.
End note:
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