The Beach Vacation Adventure
by Ruff Collie
Chapter Two: Sephiroth Vs. Crab
"Come on!"
"No."
"Please? It'll be fun!"
"No."
"Aw, don't be such a sand crab! Come ON!"
"No!"
Aeris pouted angrily, folding her arms tightly against her chest. She glared at Sephiroth, who was quite firmly(and happily) planted in his spot on the cool sand. Warm colors were glazing the uneven surface of the ocean; twilight seemed to be showing off this evening. Aeris was confused as to why Sephiroth didn't want to come for a swim; it was such a gorgeous day! Groaning when she realized Sephiroth wasn't going to join her in the water, Aeris stomped off by herself. She'd make her own fun!
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow after her, then shrugged, reclining in the deliciously comfortable sand. The general let his muscles loosen and relax, lazily inhaling the rich sea breeze.
'It's a good thing we took this vacation,' Sephiroth thought absently, lowering himself to the ground stomach first, 'Running a war is more stressful than it looks.'
With his face radiating the perfect picture of contentment, the general drifted off into an incredibly soothing sleep. 'Damn Zack had better not ruin my vacation...'
Aeris snuck up the beach quietly, something odd shaped and prickly clasped tightly in her hands. Upon seeing Sephiroth sprawled out in the sand, the Cetra tittered happily. This was going to be a lot easier than she thought. All she needed to do was plan the angle she would strike from; then 'Operation Pinchy' could begin.
Something was pinching his toe. Sephiroth frowned in his sleep, deciding to ignore the bother for the time being. He succeeded in ignoring it until all of a sudden the pinching sensation gave way to acute pain. Yelping, the swordsman threw himself up and blindly grabbed for his toe. Sephiroth seized what he thought was his toe; his pointer finger immediately became another thobbing zone of pain. The general's eyes flew open.
A very angry crab had taken a liking to Sephiroth(if, of course, by 'liking' you mean 'latched on with all his strength and became the source of unrelenting pain').
"Ow!" sephiroth exclaimed, tugging lightly, "That kind of hurts, you know!"
If a crab could show emotions other than 'I'm going to pinch the hell out of you' and 'scuttle scuttle scuttley', this one would have melted Sephiroth's perfect face off with the force of his glare. This certain crab was very proud of himself, though; he had managed to capture the great General Sephiroth! Yes, the entire crab community knew about Sephiroth -- what living thing didn't? After he had accidentally managed to step on a crab last year, thus effectively killing it, the entire crab population of Costa Del Sol had declared war in honor of their fallen brethren. Sephiroth happened to mess with the wrong crab; this was the commander of the entire crab army, General Pinchaga.
Of course, Sephiroth didn't know about any of these things; he assumed that General Pinchaga was just some normal old crab who had a serious inferiority complex. No matter how hard he tugged(without risking pulling his finger off), Sephiroth just could not seem to loosen the crab's grip on his toe and finger. After trying to break the crab's morale with his famous cold stare, the swordsman was about to give up. That's when the crab suddenly released his hold.
Sephiroth only had a few seconds to recover and get in a sigh of relief; the crab began to click. Yes, that was the only good way to describe it. Clicked. General Pinchaga was actually sending out a sort of crab morse code to summon his army. Thinking that the crustacean was admitting his defect, Sephiroth sent a cocky smirk his way.
"Haha, you bastard. I claim victory. You-AH! WHAT THE HELL?"
Crabs were popping out of the sand like dasies, scuttling forward to create a large circle around an extremely pertrubed Sephiroth. Angry clicks filled the air as at least two hundred crabs closed in around the human general. With blinding speed(for a crab, at least), the armada of pinching demons hopped on Sephiroth's body and hooked on to every patch of open skin they could find. Sephiroth shrieked in pain and surprise as two crabs managed to latch on to both of his nipples; others were crawling all over his face, all wet, slimy, and pain. He couldn't see, he was drowning in crabs --
"SEPHIROTH!"
Sephiroth awoke with a start to see Aeris leaning over him, something like a disturbed look on her face. He felt a tug at his swimming trunks, and looking down, the general saw a tiny crab pulling at them gently. Aeris prodded him on the shoulder, a strange look on her face.
"...Uhm, Seph?"
"Yeah?"
"So...uhm, why were you screaming and rubbing your nipples in your sleep?"
"...what?"
"...on second thought, I REALLY don't wanna know...c'mon, let's go back to the inn. I think you need some serious sleep."
As the pair walked away, a certain crab peeked at them from the shadows. If crabs could smirk, his would be a mile wide. He'd get his revenge...
oooooooooooo
A/N: Hah, one review! Thanks so much, Gigei! I was waiting for that to update...oh well. I think this chapter was a bit better.
Review, please! It keeps us authors going...
Next Chapter: Enter the Zack