Prologue – Names

I didn't know their names.

I hadn't learned my new father's name.

I hadn't learned my new brother's name.

I hadn't learned my new mother's name.

I had heard them, but chose to forget.

I didn't approach them.

Father was always busy, so he left me alone.

I'd heard nothing from my mother.

That left my new brother, who would keep dragging me into things. With him though, it was easy to disconnect. I wasn't actually a kid playing with my brother, I was practically an adult entertaining a child.

I refused to get attached.

I was going to betray all these people.

That was my plan.

Defect to the hidden leaf as soon as the chance presented itself.

The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of a million a statistic. By principle, I hated myself for it, but it was easy to not care what happened to some incorporeal entity that I couldn't put a name or face to. If things went the way I wanted, one day I would hear someone mention the death of the daimyo of the land of sound. I would respond with 'huh, interesting' then keep going with my day.

I wouldn't think of his proud laugh when he heard me call him. I wouldn't think of my energy ball of a brother having to learn how to run a nation in his place.

These people were doomed, and they didn't even know it. There could be no happy ending for a land in the palm of Orochimaru's hand.

Worst of all? My father deserves it. He was the one who invited this doomsday clock into his country.

Hadn't that been a shock to learn. It wasn't even a fact from the series I remembered. Father had taken the time to teach me some of our nation's history with shinobi. He told me we needed strength. Understandable enough. We were a small nation in a world that contained the equivalent of walking nuclear bombs.

We had ninja clans, though they were spread out and diminished. Before Orochimaru's Hidden Sound village, the land of rice fields ninja operated like the ninja in this world's history. Unlike the Land of Fire though, we didn't have our Uchiha-Senju alliance.

Maybe it was my father's leadership that exhausted the clans, but I had my own theories. From what I could tell, Hidden villages had two notable advantages:

Firstly, most clan abilities had weaknesses and strengths. Cooperation meant that the ninja could work together to cover up those weaknesses, or multiply those strengths. Case and point, Ino-Shika-Cho.

Secondly, the training and recruitment of clan-less ninja. Sure, most of the notable named characters from the series came from some clan or another, but for every Wave mission gone wrong, there were probably at least a hundred other routine C-rank missions. No reasonable collection of clans could handle that work load.

That was without accounting for the idea of prodigy and genius. With the absolutely ridiculous power scaling in this world, a single Minato Namikaze could wreck absolute havoc.

So, perhaps we needed a hidden village. Perhaps none of the clans would have been content with someone else in charge. A strong ninja like Orochimaru could probably wipe every clan off the map single handedly, and on top of that his experiments did make people stronger. So he offered both the carrot and stick to get everyone on board.

Then again, the stick was overkill. Our neighbours did a good enough job of that already. It was hard enough competing with foreign villages, but to compete with a local one as well? I wouldn't have liked my odds as a ninja clan in that situation.

Father said we needed strength, and Orochimaru gave it to us.

I… didn't agree. We needed power not strength, strength was only one form it could take. This land used to be called the Land of Rice Fields. We were a bread basket. Most ninja needed to eat. Perhaps it was my inner capitalist speaking, but that sounded like power to me.

Not that I would know…

There was the thought that I couldn't escape. Everything would have been so much easier if I could just vilify the man, but he didn't know what Orochimaru was like, what he would do. Arguably, in the end, things turned out for the better. The details elude me, but by the end of Shippuden, Orochimaru turned things around and saved the five kage, and leading into Boruto was a different man.

Furthermore, who was I to say things were fine before? I didn't know the nuances of politics in this world. My father had spent more hours working as daimyo than I had lived, that's including my old life. What would have become of my new home if my father had refused? Could I say for certain that things would have been better off?

I couldn't hate my father for that choice. I was honest like that.

Could I hate him for being distant? No, I was the one who wanted to keep the distance, it would be hypocritical to criticise him for that, especially when everything I had came from his hands. My home, the clothes on my back, the food, and the people.

Then… there was this.

Son,

I have thought about your request. You have been diligent in your studies, and I have heard only good things about your behaviour. I cannot express how proud I am.

You will have your bow, but not only that. I've taken the liberty to hire an instructor for you and set aside space for practice. As my son, you will not do well, you will excel.

Seize you dream,

You Father.

I'd received the letter along with a practice bow and a full quiver.

I couldn't hate this man.

I didn't even know how long I could keep pretending I didn't care.

"Name's Gyoumei, I'm G'na teach ya how ta shoot and take care o'yer bow."

Common clothes, darker colours, greens and browns. He was well built, strong. Had no obvious scars. Black medium-short messy hair that jagged left and right. His dark blue eyes were sharp and focused, despite the rest of his expression being relaxed. He was standing straight, but seemed to be putting effort into doing so.

He was probably a hunter.

Doesn't help me figure out what he just said! Was that a dialect? Natsuhi help! No wait, she's not here, and I can't ignore him, that'd be rude.

"Mr Gyoumei, you'll want to slow down. Little Yumika here has difficulty understanding if you speak that quickly."

That was Tatara, the one who was keeping an eye on me today, and clearly the one to have lost all respect for me.

Sure, I'm struggling and I'm going to need to understand my teacher, but you could have been a little less patronising… and what happened to me being a young lord?

He turned his cheerful smile towards me, like I was supposed to be thankful that he just insulted me to my face.

I swear he just smiled more, he's enjoying my misery!

It actually reminded me of Gin from Bleach. To which my mind jumped to the image of Tatara in the soul reaper captain uniform from that same show. It looked ridiculous. Happy with my own mental retribution, I looked back at my instructor, who nodded sagely, then pointed to himself.

"Gyoumei."

He picked up my practice bow, and passed it to me.

"Yer Teacher."

I couldn't say 'looking forward to it' yet, so I bowed instead.

"Yes, teacher."

Gyoumei wasn't the only instructor I'd been set up with. While he taught me the ways of archery, and Natsuhi gave me a general education, I had also been getting etiquette lessons…

"Kid, off your ass. I didn't say you could take a break."

…and Ichino was a horrible teacher.

It's not a break if we haven't started yet, Ichino.

I felt a shiver up my spine, and noticed their glare intensify.

"Oh, you think you can talk shit just because it's in your head?"

I still don't know how they do that.

I rushed into a seated position.

"Smart Kid. Here, catch!"

What? Oh god!

Something smashed into my face, and I caught it… in that order.

"Today's lesson, music."

Whatever anger I had faded immediately as I regarded the item in my hands, a shamisen.

Feeling anxious, the break ends in a couple of minutes. I'm there, on stage. A row between the conductor and I. A couple of columns between the audience and I. The notes were on the stand, Beethoven's 5th Symphony, Flight of the Bumblebee, and then Danse Macabre.

The lights flash on, the condutor raises his baton, and with it our instruments rise as well. It's Beethoven's 5th, this song lives and dies with this first note. My breath is held, my bow is in hand. A motion from the conductor. The orchestra breathes a silent breath as one.

Then the first note is played.

I hadn't even thought about how quiet my new life had been. Even since I stopped playing music before, Earth was a world with music on demand.

How did the line go? 'Fool you do not know, silence like a cancer grows..' It was something like that at least.

"Alright kid, watch this."

Silence reigned at Ichino's command, waiting for them to strike the instrument.

A smirk.

My world exploded.

Ichino was good.

Not just good, they were absolutely shredding on that thing.

An old instinct burned to the surface within me. I was used to being backup, in my mind's eye an accompaniment began to form. I noted how the grip on the instrument, the positioning of the fingers.

As quietly as I could, I tested the strings. Open strings weren't much to work with, but it would have to do with my lack of proficiency.

I joined with a simple drone, a repeated note.

Switched strings a few times with the changing palette.

Then it was over.

There was no escaping it now. I missed music.

"Heh, maybe you're good for something. Try to keep up."

Ichino was a horrible teacher, but I had another life of experience to lean on. This world may not have had music on demand, but I could make my own. No one told me that a shinobi couldn't be a musician.

I am from the Land of Sound after all.

Okay, back to work…

I'd moved the table, and had Tatara stand in the corner so I wouldn't hit him in the face while practising.

Breathe in…

I stood straight, feet equidistant, fists waist level.

Breath out!

I stepped forward with my left, my arm moving to match, knuckles facing me…

…

…A jump up, a kick forward. I landed, put my weight on my back foot and brought my open palm into a block…

…

…Elbowed with left, then swiftly followed through with a knuckle strike from the same hand. Then punched with the right.

I faced forward.

Breath in…

…and out.

I'd… done it. I'd gone through the kata as well as I could remember it.

Now stretches…

I looked over at Tatara, who I'd commissioned to help me with that part. Ugh, he had that stupid smile again.

"Oh, is this the part where I torture you again?"

On second thought, let's go through the kata again, just to be sure.

I was running after my brother again. He was way ahead of me.

Is there no one else who bothers to play with this poor kid, why is it always me?!

He turned a corner.

Analysis Begin!

What do I know?

1. The hallway to the left leads to a stairway down.

2. Every other passage after left leads to dead ends.

3. My brother went left.

4. There's a window to my right looking out over the garden.

5. There's a door on the floor below.

6. This is only the second floor.

Subject: Gaining an edge?

Don't do it you idiot!

Analysis End.

I jumped out the window, slid down the roof tiling, caught the supporting plank, and dropped down, making sure to roll to soften the landing.

Then I hid next to the stairway.

Just as he reached the bottom and turned to run further into the castle, I tapped him lightly on the back…

"Tag"

…and then bolted up the stairs again. I'd have a couple of seconds before he realised. I slid open a door, hid inside, and waited.

I heard rapid steps pass by the door.

Mission success!

Eventually my brother caught onto most of my useful tricks, and I found myself lying on the ground again.

Eh, he'll forget by next time.

I noted the figure approaching.

"Natsuhi, help."

"Yer g'na wan' te keep yer arm straight. The pow'r of the bow c'mes from the draw…"

I knew it was important to cover the basics, but I wasn't expecting a refresher already, especially not for this reason.

Issai, the hell…

He'd look really menacing with how he casually held that bow at full draw, if I hadn't known he was an absolute puppy, or that he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

I knew, because he tried.

It was a good point of comparison though. I didn't have nearly the muscle to body ratio Issai did, but I had a lot more precision and control. I could note the things he did well while also figuring out what I was already doing right.

If you want to get better at something, look at those who are better for advice, and those who are worse for warnings. Issai is conveniently both!

I let an arrow loose.

…okay that's not an actual saying, but it sounds wise, so there's got to be some merit to it.

I tried to draw another shot, but the string wouldn't budge.

It's all well and good that I can learn from Issai… but I'm not overcoming a lack of muscle with skill.

I considered the mountain of muscle again.

He's got to work for that right? Perhaps I could ask for his routine.

I heard the snap of air as the shot rang from Issai bow.

I could already picture the hours of sweat and burning muscles I'd have to endure to achieve even a fraction of… that.

Nope, no way.

I did notice something else though.

Is he… leaning a bit more on his left leg?

I regained the energy to manage a draw, and stored the thought away for later. Took aim, and shot.

It wasn't a bullseye, but it was on target.

This is fine enough, no workout needed.

This is fun.

I like this.

I hate this.

I'd been pulled out by my brother again. This time though, he had friends. We weren't even doing anything, just walking through the town while they talked. We'd split into groups. At the front leading the way was my brother, with four others. He dominated the conversation, with how much he talked it's no wonder he got a quick grasp of the language. With how half the group flocked to him, he must have been interesting. A naturally charismatic extrovert. If that didn't change, he'd probably do well when he took over as daimyo.

Behind them, three others hung together with their own conversation. Then there was me, trailing a couple of steps behind them.

It was hard enough just understanding what they were saying, but even then, I had nothing to add. I just didn't care. I stayed quiet, small, out of sight, praying that they wouldn't try to drag me into the conversation. At least this way, I had my own thoughts instead of the need to repeat 'mhm', 'yeah', or 'cool'.

I could have been anywhere else, but instead I was stuck following these people until we made it back to the castle. None of the servants assigned to me had followed us, our day's escort was one of my brother's.

We made it to our apparent destination, and out of the way clearing between a few houses, connected to the streets by alleyways. Looked like there were nets or something setup, and my brother brought out a ball.

While he got the gang into the game, I snuck into one of the alleyways, found myself a box to sit on, and took out the book I brought with me. Sure it was a picture book, sue me, but I wasn't going to get better at reading any other way.

…

The playing died down. They were probably taking a break. Suddenly, I found myself without light for my reading.

"Yumika~"

I heard in a sing-song voice.

Oh, because someone was standing right in front of me, trying to talk to me too. A pretty big guy, for our age, and two others. Right, the back group. I held off a sigh, closed my book, and gave them my attention with a forced smile.

"Blah bla bal bla, bla Yumika~. Bla bla…"

I… still couldn't understand what they were saying…

Analysis Begin!

What do I know?

1. These are children.

2. This guy's pretty big.

3. He seems to be bossing around the other two.

4. His smirk and tone are malicious.

5. He seems to be putting a lot of emphasis on my name.

Subject: what's he doing?

From fact 1, they can be stupid, added as fact 1.1.

From fact 3, he's probably used to getting his way, probably because of fact 2 , added as fact 3.1.

From fact 4, he's trying to be mean, combined with fact 3.1, I am probably being bullied.

Objection! If so, what are they bullying me about?

Take that! Fact 5, I have a girly name.

Objection! But I can't understand what they're saying.

Take that! Fact 1.1, they're too stupid to realise that.

Objection overruled.

Conclusion: the big guy's trying to bully me about my name with the help of the other two, since they're too stupid to realise I can't even tell what they're saying.

Analysis End.

Not that I'd be bothered by what they have to say. Despite my physical age, I'm not a child.

I put away my book and got up to move somewhere I'd have light to read. I had missed a pretty important detail though.

Fact: this boy primarily bullies with physical force, not words.

He tried to trip me when I got up, but I recovered and turned to face him. Oh boy, he looked pissed. Probably didn't like being ignored. Wow, he was even cracking his knuckles. I could've run, but he was between me and my brother, or more importantly, the servant with my brother who knew the way back. The other way put me in a crowd of people, and even if I found my way to the castle, I can't be sure the gate guards would be able to recognise me.

I brought up my guard and took a practised fighting stance. I didn't want to hurt him, he was just a kid. I was just going to defend until he got bored.

He came at me with a lazy right hook.

I stepped forward with my right and blocked outward, meeting his forearm with my right arm, knuckles facing towards me, ending me out of the way, and him stumbling behind me.

He charged again. With his left this time. I repeated the earlier manoeuvre with my left.

He turned quickly and tried to kick me.

I hopped back a step out of range.

He fell.

I saw it a moment before it went wrong, processed it with a barely conscious thought.

You're not supposed to land on your foot like that.

Crack!

The ankle is not supposed to be bent like that!

I felt sick.

He screamed.

The other two kids ran away into the street. Of course they did, they were panicking, they didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do either. We'd gotten pretty far from the rest of the group. I had to help, but I couldn't leave him there.

I had to bring him with me, but I didn't have the strength to pick him up, he'd have to lean on me, or he'd have to piggy back. Both were difficult, since the boy was panicking and in pain. His flailing could hurt himself and anyone close enough.

I stepped closer.

On approach, he kicked my shin with his good leg.

As I knelt down, he hit me in the gut and the shoulder.

As I picked him up, he hit me right on the cheek.

I could taste blood in my mouth. He was a big kid. Compared to me, he hit like a boulder. The adrenaline numbed the pain though.

I got him on my back, and he stopped flailing, instead opting to whimper and clutch really hard. Then I ran.

"Help!"

…

The servant took over carrying the kid, and since he couldn't leave us, brought us with him to a clinic in the area. Which was how we found ourselves waiting in the lobby while the kid and the servant went inside.

It's not my fault, it was an accident. It's not my fault.

That wasn't true though. I could have let him hit me. I could have not provoked him. I could have ended the fight with a grapple or choke hold. I could have fought back and scared him off.

I felt the bile in my throat, my shoulders were tense, and my hands clasped together. I felt sick. I felt guilty.

Please be okay.

"Brother, what happened?"

I looked up, and there he was. My brother. He looked angry.

I choked a bit.

"He.. Fell…"

I put a hand on my ankle.

"Break."

My brother gave my forehead a soft chop.

"Not to him, idiot! To you!"

"Uweh?"

He held up a mirror. My face was bruised pretty badly, and I could see another bruise sticking out from under my right sleeve by the shoulder.

"It.. nothing."

I tried to avert my gaze. Ashamed that I couldn't find the words to explain.

"He attacked you."

Huh. My gaze snapped back to him, he looked certain.

"I heard it from Gozu and Kyomaru."

I didn't have anything to say to that. I couldn't even formulate a proper lie to cover up the event with, before my brother stepped closer and hugged me.

"Thank you, for helping my friend. Bro."

I started crying. He was hugging my bruise. That's it. It wasn't relief from the fact that my brother didn't hate me for this. It wasn't that he helped me convince myself that this wasn't my fault. It wasn't because he called me his brother.

My father was called Katsusyou Nogawa. He was greedy and power hungry, but he worked his best for it and shared it with his family. Despite not being personally present, I could feel his intent in everything that happened around me, an intent built on a faith in me that could only come from parental love and pride.

My brother was called Yorihiro Nogawa. He was forceful and quick to make assumptions about people, but he pushed people to better themselves, and never beyond what they were willing. He had more friends than I knew names, but somehow I'd ended up in his top 5.

I was Yumika Nogawa. The idiot who got attached to the ticking time bomb of a life they were born into.