Shadow of the Snake - Awake

I was drowning.

The sunlight barely pierced the surface above me, just out of reach.

A greater person could swim to the surface. They could dedicate their last breath, and through a strength of will, push their way through. I'd heard about it, seen it. They shared their stories, meant to inspire and push others to follow their example.

I didn't.

I held onto my last breath and watched the shine wither and shrink in the mounting distance.

Once upon a time, I clawed at the mud like water and kicked out at the abyss below me. I spent my precious little breath, and I failed, with nothing to show for it. I was left with a pull, like a chain through my chest that stole me away.

My limbs surrendered before I did.

It was cold, the waters drained the life out of me.

It hurt, the pressure from the depths crushing me.

More than that though, it was lonely.

I could feel that there was life beyond these waters, I could talk to them even, but they were distant. Sometimes I wondered if they were even real.

No thought could save me, no vague voice, but perhaps a prayer? I hadn't given much thought to it, but my parents believed, and they taught me to try.

I got no answer.

Perhaps, that was when I first gave in.

The loss of feeling had been a mercy. No more cold, no more pain, no more loneliness. I simply was.

I learned to ignore the inspiring stories, they forced me to feel, robbed me of the comforting numbness.

I learned to hate the inspiring stories, they taunted me with the strength I lacked.

That was then.

So now? back in familiar waters? I let myself sink.

When was the last time I had seen the shine of the surface?

In my vague memory, it had only been a speck.

Had I been up there?

My breath churned in my chest, invoking images of paper walls and tatami mats.

Had I escaped this place, or had it only been a dream?

I remembered, I had dreamed before as well.

This breath had been a nice dream…

This is where you belong

…but all dreams must end when the dreamer awakes.

This is the only place you can reach with your weakness.

I wondered if I should simply release the breath I held onto so avariciously. It would be easier than having it taken from me.

Let go

It had been so long since I'd seen the shine of the surface this close.

It was beautiful.

I entertained a thought…

Could I reach it?

Could someone weak like me really be there?

Did someone like me deserve to live up there?

I'd slept away the rest of the day after the lesson, and hadn't bothered to get out of bed the day after either.

At some point, Issai had come with food.

I couldn't deal with the energy so I pretended to be asleep until he left, and ate once I knew he was gone, with the ugly worm called guilt creeping the whole way.

Then I shuffled back into bed.

I couldn't rid myself of every waking moment, but I could certainly try.

It was a few hours later that I heard a knock from the door.

Natsuhi…

Issai just walked in, and I doubted there was anyone else in the village that had business with me.

It had been easy to ignore Issai, he'd probably actually believed I was asleep. Natsuhi was smarter than that. If I left the door, she'd probably realise I was doing it on purpose.

I… didn't want that.

I forced myself to my feet and took a hold of the handle. I forced down my hesitation, and plastered a smile on my face.

She held a small pile of books.

Language lessons…

My forced smile cracked just a bit.

She watched and waited expectantly.

After a moment, she spoke up.

"Lord Yumika, we need to continue your lessons…"

Oh, I need to move.

I stepped aside and let her in.

"Now, before your class yesterday, we…"

I held off the wince at the mention, as she started trying to pick up where we left off. She hadn't even found a space to sit yet.

Without much of a workspace, she settled for sitting on the bed, patting the spot to her right as she placed the books to her left.

I shuffled over. My pride was trying its damnedest to make sure she didn't realise there was anything wrong with me, while a buried part of me screamed for help.

If she's going to ask about yesterday, she'd do it now…

She didn't

Instead we got to work.

It was the same process as our trip here, but my heart wasn't in it. My eyes focused on the words, my ears listened for the sounds, but my mind lingered in other places.

30 minutes in, I heard her sigh and my heart dropped.

It's about time she realised how worthless I really am…

She closed the book.

"I'll come back later and we can try again then."

Once she was gone, I let myself collapse on my bed. She hadn't said anything explicitly about my performance at least.

Not that it matters. Even if we are close, my father controls her pay. Actually insulting me could put that at risk.

I noted the return of my anxiety, and dismissed the destructive thought.

I may not have been 'cured' so to speak, but the forced social encounter had knocked me out of my apathetic cycle, at least for now.

I'd fallen into a trap when I'd figured my situation was an isekai story.

By the nature of the genre, isekai stories are escapist power fantasies. Typically, everything the transported character does leads to success in some form or another, sometimes despite their own personality or abilities.

This may have been a new world, but I was still myself.

That meant I still had the same flaws as before. The same flaws that set me on my downward spiral back on earth. Up until now, I'd simply been caught up with the illusion of the genre and let myself forget.

Consider my delusions shattered.

There was a notable difference though…

I ran through the recent encounter in my mind a few times. Clearly, I'd been out of practice faking a 'socially acceptable' mood.

…I wasn't alone in this world, like I'd been for most of the tail end of my last life. I could beat myself up all I wanted, but I refused to let that spill out over Natsuhi and Issai.

Don't cause worry or troubles for others.

Keep your own problems out of sight.

As far as anyone else was concerned, you are fine.

In the back of my mind a rebellious thought stirred: maybe I'll even believe it eventually.

The door burst open.

"Yumika!"

I was 'asleep' before Issai gripped the handle.

"Asleep again…"

Come on, go away…

I felt his shadow loom over me.

"Enough of that!"

He almost launched me into the wall with the way he ripped the blanket away.

I shuffled back onto my feet, not concealing my attempts to stab the man with the ocular power I didn't have. This was acceptable, people are naturally groggy when forced awake.

"Good, you're awake. Let's go practice, you had enough rest yesterday."

The bear looked awfully proud of himself. No glare would break his good mood today it seemed, so I equipped a happy facade.

"Minute…"

I indicated to myself.

"...clothes."

This will put it off for a few minutes at least…

Then he placed a folded set of clothes on the bed next to me, as well as a filled quiver and my bow.

…or not.

"I'll be right outside, I've found a place to practice."

Then he left again.

With a sigh, I got dressed and met him outside. He led me through the underground halls of this place, making no effort to stay out of sight or out of mind. He was practically gallivanting through.

"Issai, calm-"

"Calm down."

Huh?

"The phrase is 'calm down', Yumika."

He hadn't corrected me before. None of them had.

MY mind jumped to the no-mercy language lessons on the way here. Somehow, Natsuhi had to be responsible for this.

More importantly, he had turned around to correct me, and was walking backwards now.

Don't panic.

By some miracle, he managed to turn back around before anything could happen, and we made it to our destination: one of the designated training areas. The plain electrically-lit concrete room had an array of targets ready. Probably meant for kunai and shuriken practice.

It was empty. Probably because it was pretty far away from any of the supply rooms that stocked said equipment, and it was pretty close to one of the clan designated areas. I hadn't committed the clan's name to memory.

That would have to be remedied if Issai was going to bring me here more often.

I walked up to a decent spot, pulled a few arrows from the hip bound quiver, and planted them in the ground in front of me… except they just fell down… since this room was concrete.

Firing from the quiver then…

Issai didn't notice.

I got ready to take my first shot, letting everything else fall out of focus.

Nock, draw, aim… then release.

On target, but off centre.

Focus… Nock, draw, aim… then release.

I overcompensated with this shot.

There's no wind. Nock draw, aim… then release.

The next shot was better, but I was starting to feel the weight of the draw.

Quicker shots. Nock, draw, aim, then release.

Within the same ring as the last shot. I had a feel for the distance.

I kept it up until I'd emptied the quiver. The shots hadn't gotten much better by the end, but at least they hadn't gotten worse either. I'd count that as a win.

Issai wasn't done with his shooting, so I needed to wait before I went and got my arrows. His final grouping… wasn't the best.

I got ready for the next round of shots. Warm up was done.

Nock, draw, aim… then release.

A second thunk sounded on impact, and my eyes shot to the target to my right, that had a kunai embedded in it.

I traced its path back to the spot next to me.

I'd feared for a second that a sound ninja decided to train here, but it was just a kid. Around my physical age.

Eh, no harm in that I guess. Alright, nock, draw, aim, then release.

Again, a second thud echoed my own, and again, my sight betrayed my focus and glanced at the other target.

That's more on centre than my two shots…

I dismissed the thought and fired again.

…and they threw their kunai.

Argh, I'm off. They have a better grouping.

Once was an instance, twice a coincidence, but thrice was a pattern. I glanced over at my fellow marksman. They smirked.

Oh it's on. Rapid fire let's go!

My final grouping was horrible, no doubt, but it was better than theirs, which was the important part.

I'm being so childish…

I smirked at my impromptu rival.

I got a well deserved glare for it, before it faded to a smirk, and they ran up to the target to start collecting their kunai.

Heh, my win…

I was barely halfway through my own collection when they were running back with a smirk, just before they started again.

…son of a- they were rushing for a head start!

By the time I started shooting, they were halfway through their set of twenty. While I did manage to catch up on the speed front, my accuracy was abysmal. I'd lost that round, for sure.

Our eyes met again.

We both rushed to get ready for a new set.

…

One. More. Shot.

It was a tie, a god be damned tie. This last set was honestly pathetic. We were both out of breath. Some of their shots didn't make it all the way to the target. Most of my shots weren't at full draw.

I was on my last arrow, they were on their last knife.

I could picture it now: epic confrontation, this last go will determine the winner. The projectiles fly and both his bullseye, the question forever unresolved…

…instead, we both missed.

Screw it, I'm done!

The concrete was nice and cold.

This is nice, I'll stay here.

There was one thing to do though…

"Yumika Nogawa, nice to meet you. Urgh."

I managed to lift up my arm, it would have to do as far as waves were concerned.

"Kin Tsuchi, likewise."

Woot, I know that word!

They spoke with a bit of a squeak to their voice. With the name, they were probably a girl.

Soon after, someone showed up to lead her away, and Issai decided that maybe I deserve a pick up back to my room. Yay for laziness.

No way am I doing that again, it was too tiring, even if it was fun…

"Ha, you two had me so beat."

Huh?

In hindsight, Issai had been trying to keep up with us…

Like the sack of potatoes I was meant to be, Issai deposited me on my bed.

He didn't stay for long, it seemed Natsuhi needed him for something.

Back in isolation, it didn't take long for the warding from the friendly competition to fade and the dark spirit to return.

A dark spirit who was just as confused as I was when Issai came storming back in with a table. Which he placed in the room, before leaving again.

Then he came back, with three chairs. Behind him, Natsuhi came with a pot of something…

Analysis Begin!

What do I know?

1. The contents of the pot smells and looks like food.

2. The food is not like any of the meals I had back home.

3. The food looks and smells better than anything the canteen here has managed so far.

Subject: What's that?

Facts 2 and 3 rule out luxury meals and mass produced slop.

Conclusion: home cooking.

Analysis End.

The table was set and the food was ready.

"Let's eat."

I had somehow managed to shuffle into the third chair, still confused. Yes, logically speaking, this did greatly reduce the chance of use being poisoned, or drawing negative attention from one of the very murder happy ninja out htere.

That didn't mean we had to eat together or that Natsuhi had to try to make some better food than the, in all honesty, trash from the mess hall.

How about not asking questions and enjoying the good food?

The next two days weren't any calmer. One of the two always seemed to be coming in or dragging me off somewhere.

Natsuhi wasn't Ichino, but she could at least tell me if my music sounded off. She also picked up on the regular lessons.

Issai wasn't Tatara, so he wasn't helping with the stretches, but he knew how to do physical conditioning, much to my chagrin. That was on top of pulling me over to the range consistently.

Neither of them were allowed to accompany me here though.

Welcome to fight club, featuring only children aged 7 to 10.

"Yumika."

That meant I was up.

I went down from the balcony to the simple rectangular area below where the fight would take place.

The ninja considered the list he had, was probably trying to match me up against someone weak so he wouldn't cause the civilian/noble kid (me) to run their mouth and complain.

I didn't catch the name he eventually called.

When the other boy came down, I offered a hand with a smile.

I think I confused the other kid, but he shook my hand anyway.

"Good luck, have fun."

Yea, yea, this wasn't an online game, but we weren't fighting to the death either, so sportsmanship holds. Hopefully it would prevent him from beating my face too hard.

We both took a couple of steps back and got into our individual stances.

Analysis Begin!

What do I know?

1. The kid has a trained martial arts stance.

2. The stance has an extra low centre of gravity.

3. No visible weapons.

Subject: Fighting styl-

Emergency Abort.

"Begin!"

I barely had time to register the kid closing the distance.

Time, think, ah!

I stumbled back out of the way of a forward punch.

Don't drop your guard!

I brought it up in a hurry, just in time to catch a hooked punch with a block.

The world did not slow.

It sped up. Rapidly.

I could hear the blood pumping in my head. My whole body was tense, ready to move or hold on command. My heart churned in my chest.

It was amazing.

It was the kind of thrill one got from an intense game or extreme sports, but cranked up to 11.

The kid pulled back his punch, and I spotted an opening.

No, it's probably a trap.

Instead, I sent a left footed round kick aiming for his side. Which he blocked with a wince.

Sorry!

I immediately reset and backed away a couple of steps.

Calm down. Calm down! He's a ninja in training, but he's still a child!

I had no success controlling my heart rate before the kid slid, knee forward, below my guard and then bounced up, trying to catch my chin with a rising uppercut.

I hopped to the left and shot my right foot at him with a side kick, catching him in his hip, and sending him into a recovery roll.

Breathe in…

Analyse!

Low centre of gravity → good balance, sturdy force, and more difficult to perform kicks.

End!

…breathe out.

The kid was charging at me again, but I felt I was in control.

My left handed block was slow, but I managed to redirect the blow from my chest to my right shoulder. My other fist was cocked at my hip, and shot out at his chest.

He barely reacted, I'd pulled my punch too much.

The kid followed through with a second punch, this time from his left. I leaned back, letting it fly by my nose, with my left fist cocked. I pulled less, and the kid actually flinched a bit. Which I used to back out again.

It wasn't enough.

The kid was hyper aggressive, he didn't even see my offence as a threat.

The kid went for a straight punch, but with a kick I had reach. I kicked forward into his chest, right at his diaphragm. His forward momentum worked to my advantage. The quicker the absorption of force, the more damaging the impact.

I did not like seeing the kid lying on the ground struggling for breath.

In control, like hell. What was I doing!?

I'd gone too hard, too fast.

I let some of the tension fade when the medic showed up and fixed the kid up with their hands glowing of healing chakra.

Not just a visual effect from the anime, noted.

The ninja in charge said words to the kid, it sounded like advice, harsh too from the tone. Then he regarded me, and just indicated for me to get out.

Analysis Begin!

What do I know?

1. I wasn't like this before.

2. My body was pumping with something like adrenaline.

3. This was a serious fight.

Subject: Overkill

From fact 1, this is something with my new life, added as fact 1.1.

Speculation on facts 1.1 and 2, a reaction from my body caused this, perhaps chakra?

Objection! Why hasn't this been an issue before?

Take that! Fact 3, this was a serious fight. In fact, this was my body's first serious fight.

Objection overruled.

Conclusion awaiting testing.

Analysis End.

Oh god, if I'm right about this…

…I have the body of an adrenaline junkie!