Spring will come soon
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Flashback
The swept up bun of gleaming tresses that walked past him, pretty faces mixed with swirls of expensive fragrances, the flirty glances that the opposite gender threw at him, they all did not even make him bat an eye. He sat there in a contemplative mood, both eyes were aimed at no particular direction, and his cup of brewed tea was long forgotten. Something must have played up with his mind for he was not usually that contemplative. Surely, even as detached person that he is, this kind of plain brooding aura was overwhelming.
His eyes observed the wintry weather of Kyoto, with snow falling softly, perching itself atop the window's sill as his mind was blank. Reaching out to embrace the cup of cold tea that was sitting in front of him, he reflected the cold and bitter aftertaste of the tea, and it felt familiar, for after all, it was so similar to his own heart. How long since it grew cold and bitter…
He sighed as he sipped the cool liquid then stood up after leaving a few bills tucked neatly underneath the tea cup. The waitress and the owner should know. He was, after all, a regular customer at the tea-house. He stood tall in his trench coat and walked out from the comfortable warmth of the tea-house into the dormant weather outside, the wind slapped against his trench coat, making its trademark eerie sound.
How he sometimes long for the coming of Spring, with its abundance of life and…Misao …
He did not know when exactly the first time her face started to haunt his resting time. The last he saw her was that moment, her eyes watered and a look of disbelief was etched on her pretty face, a tail of long braid was following her every move, as she cast him a shot of betrayal. After all, he did fight with Okina, though the better part of his dying conscience made it possible to leave the old man alive albeit bleeding all over.
He could remember that day still, the wind was blowing and the winter air swept the city. He walked away from his only family, heading to oblivion, and the bunch of white snowdrops were hunched up, seemingly weeping and mourning for the lost cause that was him.
He was doomed from Oniwabanshuu
He couldn't protect his four friends…
He couldn't forget the look on Misao's face…
He couldn't even justify his own actions…
He was doomed to die.
And die a painful death…
So he let his heart be hardened, he sided with Shishio Makoto, even if his heart was not there. He fought to die for the remnants of honor, for the sake of his dead friends and forsaken family, the Oniwabanshuu. He had hoped to die in the battle somehow; even if another part in him so desired victory to be bestowed upon the graves of his friends.
He let darkness consumed him whole.
-End of Flashback-
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He blinked. He opened his eyes and gasped through clenched teeth, a horrendous pang of pain seemed to slice through his upper body. Beads of cold sweat and sheer determination kept him alive as the flash of long red hair dashed out from the room. Laying flat on his back, breathing rather erratically for the much needed air, he realized one thing.
He has lost.
Yet he was still alive.
He has lost, yet… what was this realization that dawned on him like the long awaited rain in the middle of summer?
His mind eventually dimmed out, and just as he succumbed to another deep sleep, he saw flashes of familiar faces, among them, the raven-haired petite girl. She seemed to always be in his mind, whether his sanity is intact, or even when the last shreds of his sanity were gone, she was still there in his mind…
This time, she wasn't crying. She looked radiant instead, smiling while the corners of her eyes crinkled slightly, making her an epitome of youthful beauty…
His parched throat hoarsely called out her name, "Mi..sao.."
He could not die yet…
Not when there was a glimmer of hope in that whispered name…
Spring will come soon….
With that last comforting thought, he closed his midnight blue eyes.
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A/N: Well, this is supposed to take place prior to Kenshin's battle with Shishio during Kyoto Arc. It's Aoshi's POV after he fought Okina, and right after he was defeated by Kenshin. I wanted to capture his emotions just as he realized that even after the so-called 'permanent damage' was done to Oniwabanshuu, he could still harbor some hope. And that hope (subtly implied, I hope...) lies with Misao.
Disclaimer: RK Watsuki's