Summary: This story is set in the future, sixteen years from the Season Six finale. Tasha, a girl whose past is unknown even to her, appears to the Charmed Ones, asking for help. Along the road to controlling her powers, an attraction springs up between her and Chris, but can their feelings for each other overcome the demons in her past--and future?
Dedicated to: You. I kissed you, but nobody needs to know.
Disclaimer: like everything I want, it's not mine.
Thanks: for giving me something to be sure of.
Quote of the Day: "You're forgiven, not forgotten."
Chapter Eleven
Tasha was floating in darkness, feeling woozy and blurry. She was being carried in strong, gentle arms and was moving swiftly and softly. She was overcome by an out-of-place feeling of tranquility and security in his arms, and barely shifted as she was carefully laid onto a cool surface.
Fingertips, like butterfly wings, brushing her face. A tiny sigh escaped her. Those delicate fingers were brushing her face, immeasurably gentle and tender. Tracing her features one by one, light touches that sent chills through her. The touch followed the curve of her eyebrow, trailed down her cheek. Tasha shivered inwardly. It sketched the line of her jaw, and moved to her lips. Chris's fingers trailed traced the outline of her lips, the join between upper and lower. The chills became a fluttering. The fingers brushed over her eyelashes, and stroked over the fragile skin of her eyelids. She felt Chris bend closer; and warm lips touched her forehead. Just the barest touch, and then cool air.
And yet…through the black, hazy stuff, a voice.
Wake up. You have to wake up. The voice implored her. Wake up now! You're not safe!
I am. Tasha argued, comfortable in the blackness. Chris is here. She drifted deeper into the encompassing dark. I'm always safe when he's around…
He's not Chris for another twenty-four hours! So wake up!
Tasha banished all mutinous thoughts with an effort. All right.
She stirred, and her eyes fluttered open. A cave? Dakaki! Her head shot up. No. this was different. Muted lighting from torches that were held by brackets in the walls. She was resting on a smooth slab of rock, and there…there, looking for all the world as if he was studying for a final, stood Chris, perusing a tattered piece of parchment.
"Chris." Her voice was husky, throaty. Was that really her? She didn't sound…well…scared, or mad, or anything. She cleared her throat.
Chris turned, his eyes glowing emerald in the shadows. "You're up." He walked towards her and helped her stand. Woozily, she balanced, and took a deep breath. Tasha looked sharply up at Chris. "Chris, what are you doing?"
Chris smiled fatuously. "I've been thinking. Don't you think the world would be better off with just one, powerful ruler?"
Tasha choked. "Oh please. World domination? That is so passé. And such a cliché!" For crying out loud! She told herself sternly. Don't joke with this guy, he's not Chris! He's a…he's Evil-Chris!
Surprisingly enough, Chris just laughed, and Tasha's stomach gave an odd lurch. "I need you to help me." Oh, for God's sake. He sounded like he was asking for help with a homework assignment.
Which, come to think of it, would never happen.
"You see, I've got this all worked out. I need to take over the Underworld. Once I have it in my grasp, I'd put together a demon army. With that, I'd go up there," and here he jerked his head upwards, "and take the Elders' powers. But the first thing I need is the Book of Shadows." He smiled personably. "And unfortunately, I can't seem to be able to pick it up. And that is where you come in."
Tasha backed away, and sat down on the stone table again. "You're freaking crazy." Her breath caught in her throat.
"No, I don't think so." Chris ran a hand through his silky dark hair casually. Tasha let out a slightly hysterical giggle…that was so familiar, such a Chris thing to do. She saw him do it at least once a friggin' day.
"Chris," she implored, her voice trembling slightly. "Chris, this isn't you. It's a potion—can't you feel it? You know it's not really you." Her voice rose. "It's not really you!"
Chris rolled his eyes. "Please. Spare me the dramatics." He suddenly looked sly, his eyes like hellebore leaves. "You know, if you joined me, with our combined powers we could track down your parents."
Tasha started. She'd never told anyone how much she wanted to see…them. Never told anyone that she was trying to find them, not even Chris. And yet…
"How did you--" she stopped, entranced by Chris's arresting green eyes.
"Because I know you," he whispered into her ear, his warm breath tickling her neck. "I know you better than anyone ever has and ever will."
There was music in his voice and the words settled like filigreed snowflakes around her, wrapping her in otherworldliness. Tasha swayed on the spot for a second, before snapping out of it.
"If you think that charming me is gonna make me get you that book, you've gotta be out of your tiny mind Christopher," she snapped tartly.
With that, she sat back on the stone slab, fire in her eyes. She straightened her sleeveless, ruffled red blouse and brushed off her jeans, studiously not-looking at Chris.
Chris sighed, and sat next to her. "You know," he said conversationally, "you're so damn beautiful when you're angry."
Tasha started, and stared at him, dumbfounded.
"Oh, don't look so surprised." Chris berated. "I've always thought so."
Tasha softened slightly, then realized. Are you crazy? This guy wants to take over the world!
"Have I told you about your eyes? No? They're beautiful. Dark brown, so dark they look black unless you see them from close up. Especially when you're feeling passionate about something. When you laugh, they turn chocolate, and when you're thoughtful, they go all warm and light."
…but he sounds like Chris, and he looks like Chris…except he's saying things that I've only dreamed Chris would say.
Oh God. She wanted him. She always had, ever since the first time she'd seen him. Those eyes, that smile…the way he could always make her laugh…
No. Bad, bad Tasha. Don't go there. She turned her head firmly away, prepared to sulk in a corner until he sent her home, or the potion wore off.
Chris smiled lightly, and took her hand. She tried to pull it away, but she found she couldn't, she didn't want to. His touch was as vague as satin on her palm, his fingertips as cool as jade against her skin. Tingles followed in their wake. He went on stroking her hand, thumb gently circling in her palm, a sensuous and dangerous feeling. She felt herself start to come undone, start to flow towards the boy sitting next to her with such a tenderly passionate look on his face.
No! She jumped up, and tore her hand away. "Chris, stop it. Please."
Chris stood as well, easily, and smiled. He looked charming, sinister, and slightly mad. "You're fighting. Why are you fighting?"
He started towards her, and she swallowed. He was acting…different. He was even dressed differently. The black leather he was wearing was so soft looking, and it clung to him hip and thigh. He wasn't Chris, or if he was, he was all Chris hid about himself.
But…there was something about a guy who looked at you with eyes like a starving tiger's. Tasha shook her head, as though to clear the cobwebs from it. She was backed against the wall now. She didn't know how to get away from him and the worst thing was that her body didn't seem sure it wanted to. A trembling thrill shot through her.
Chris stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't fight this." The words came on a warm wave of breath in her ear. Tasha tried to protest, but the words caught in her throat. Despite his slimness, Chris' muscles were hard against her.
He was looking down at her. A clear light was shining down his intense, intent face. His emerald-green eyes were like endless pools of water, drawing her irresistibly deeper and deeper.
"You can't fight something like this, Tash. You know you can't," he whispered.
Tasha turned her face up and shut her eyes.
The kiss was warm, shivery, and very sweet.
She felt herself relax in his arms before she knew what she was doing. His heart was beating so fast against hers, and a shiver ran through her. Then his soft kisses turned into slow shivery ones and then into white-hot ones, like the heart of a star. Tasha was still afraid, even as she clung to him—was it true that fear had to be a part of passion? She could feel his mind all around her, strong, demanding. She remembered the other times she'd been in his arms, when he was orbing her, when he was comforting her. He'd made her feel safe, protected. Now…she was trembling, falling and soaring at the same time. The electricity they'd always felt when together was flowing into her, shocking her nerve endings sweetly. Everywhere he touched she felt fire and ice. He was kissing her as softly as twilight, tiny soft kisses, and long kisses that turned wild. And she was kissing him back, her arms around her neck, hands tangled in his chestnut hair.
I didn't know…all those times, I never imagined he…oh. If this is evil then why would anyone fight it?
Suddenly, he changed the pressure of his lips on hers, and light coursed through her. She opened her eyes in shock. He looked down at her, eyes sooty with passion, his lashes long and dark.
"You see?" he sounded thrilled, exalted…he didn't move away, but spoke with his lips brushing hers. "We fit. We were meant to be like this."
Tasha was inclined to agree, when out of the blue an image appeared in her mind's eye.
Chris looked at Tasha with sympathy in his eyes. "You really are worried about being evil, aren't you?"
Tasha looked Chris dead in the eye. "Yes. I am. Despite what Leo has told me, despite everything everyone is telling me…I worry."
"I guess that repeating that riff about choices isn't gonna help right now?"
Tasha gave him a sideways look that would kill pigeons in midair.
"Whoa. Guess not." Chris drew closer to her. "Look, I totally get what you're worried about. I do. It's just…I think that you should relax about it. Firstly, we will not vanquish or get rid of any part of you." He smiled down at her. "I like them all, and I'm sure others would agree. I–-uh, we love you, demon, dominion, and the rest. And besides," he slung an arm over her shoulders, "if you did turn evil, you know I'd be the first in line to beat the crap outta you."
Tasha swallowed, shook her head, and stepped back.
"What?" Chris looked confused.
"Sorry, Chris. You're not yourself, and you're just going to regret this when the day's up. So I'm giving you some friendly advice right now: sit down and pretend this never happened." Tasha stepped away from him.
Fury swept over his face, he had never looked more malevolent—or more handsome. Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, it ebbed.
"You're going to fight to the end, aren't you? Well, it should be interesting, at least."
"Chris-"
Quick as a cat, quick as a cobra, he kissed her. A hard kiss, and before she knew it, Tasha was responding. Suddenly, he broke away and spun.
"Trying to sneak up on me?" he smirked. "Cute."
Tasha, confused, turned towards the direction he was talking, and saw Pearl and Wyatt, shielding themselves from Chris…wait. They weren't shielding. They were trapped in a blue, translucent orb, similar to Chris' shield. She glanced from them to him, and saw him gritting his teeth, trying to maintain the force field. Wyatt was waving his hands at it emphatically, but nothing was happening.
"Pitiful, brother dear." Chris sneered, still concentrating.
Hmm…
Without a second thought, Tasha launched herself at Chris, and threw him to the floor. For a split second, the shield wavered, and in that moment, Pearl tossed a tiny vial towards Tasha. It landed on the ground mere inches from her hand.
"You--how dare you?" Chris looked furious, and he stood over her, looming as Tasha scrabbled backwards, her hand closing over the vial.
"Please. Spare me the dramatics." Tasha flung the potion at his booted feet. A silvery mist slithered out of the broken shards and coiled itself around Chris' legs, tightening so that he fell. Tasha stood, and looked toward Pearl and Wyatt. They were cautiously edging closer, and gazing at the unconscious Chris.
"What was it?"
"A sleeping draft. We figured that if he slept till the potion wore off, it'd all work out." Wyatt informed.
"It was my idea." Pearl added in, smirking.
"Smart," congratulated Tasha. "Now let's get outta here." She bent and grasped Chris around the forearm, struggling a little with the dead weight. She smirked at Pearl and Wyatt. "Race ya."
She shimmered out, Chris in tow, closely followed by Pearl and Wyatt's iridescent blue orbs.
x0x
"So," Pearl started nonchalantly. "You and Chris seemed…friendly…when we orbed in."
Tasha swallowed the bite of apple in her mouth. Chris was still sleeping off the potion and Wyatt had long since gone to sleep. She and Pearl were taking it in turns to make sure that the potion didn't wear off at an inopportune moment.
"He was coming on to me." She said defensively.
"Yeah, right. Takes two to tango, sweets…and two to do other stuff too." Pearl wiggled her eyebrows.
"Pearl!" Tasha shook her head. "It wasn't anything like that. I swear, you've got the dirtiest mind I've ever seen. Besides Chris and Wyatt, of course."
"Of course. But seriously, Tash. Everyone's seen the way you look at him—and the way he looks at you. For crying out loud, Uncle Leo knows that something's going on."
"Nothing's going on," Tasha said, crunching into her apple and trying to look innocent.
"You two have such an intense relationship," prodded Pearl, not letting it go.
Tasha opted for acting insulted. "Of course we do! He's my whitelighter, I'm a witch demon angel thing! I think that 'intense' would sum it up, y'know?"
Pearl rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant, and you know it. Come on, haven't you noticed the way he looks at you?"
Tasha looked up. "How?"
Pearl snorted. "Hey, if you don't know, then I'm not going to be the one to tell you." She stood. "You know, Tasha, you're lying to yourself, and hurting him as well. He's the one who went out on a limb down in that cave, and he's the one who's going to have to deal with the repercussions."
"What repercussions? He was evil! He practically made his own get-out-of-jail-free card!"
Pearl just looked at Tasha steadily.
Tasha sighed, defeated. "We kissed, Pearl. And it was…weird. I knew he wasn't Chris, wasn't himself…but I still wanted him. I…I've--" she broke off, and tried again. "I really like your cousin. Ever since the first time I saw him. He's funny, and smart, and brave…he's completely gorgeous. And he has…this charisma, this aura around him that I just can't get enough of."
Tasha swallowed, and Pearl nodded encouragingly. She could sense that talking about her feelings was not something Tasha did often, and didn't want to scare her off.
"And in the cave, he acted…well, like Chris, with the charm, the intensity…but different. He was…more dangerous, wilder."
"That would be because he was evil." Pearl observed dryly.
"Yeah…which brings me to my point. Why did Evil-Chris manage to make a move when Chris couldn't? That's gotta say something, right?"
Pearl rolled her eyes. "Yeah: that evil is more upfront. Think about it: we practice self-control. We can't have the luxury of acting on our most powerful feelings, because if we could…well, let's just say that all schools would be burnt down, and there would be much more fighting in this house."
Tasha snickered.
"But evil…well, they don't care. They're there for themselves. I quote from Buffy: Want, Take, Have."
"But either way, Chris doesn't want me. Not when he's sane."
"Or maybe he's just waiting for the perfect time. Not just for him, but for you as well."
"Thanks, but no thanks. I have no desire to be Ms. I-want-Chris-Halliwell fourteen hundred kabillion and one."
"Okay, so he has a lot of girlfriends. So what? He's a seventeen-year-old male. His primary thinking organ is not his brain. And yeah, he wants you, but he doesn't know you want him. He has needs."
Tasha snorted. "What, he couldn't just ask me and be done with it?"
"Would you ask him?"
Tasha looked thoughtful. "You know, for a fourteen-year-old teenybopper, you can be pretty smart."
Pearl tossed an apple core at Tasha. "I'm good with people. Side effect of being an empath. And you'll be receiving my bill shortly."
"But of course. Hey, he's waking up."
Chris stirred, and Tasha got to her feet. "I'll be in my room."
"Hey! Stay. Remember what we talked about?"
Tasha winked. "Rome wasn't built in a day."
"And Tasha obviously won't get over her commitment issues in a day either," muttered Pearl.
x0x
The door opened, and Tasha turned. Questing jade-green eyes framed with long lashes met hers.
"Hey," murmured Chris. "Can I come in?"
Tasha glanced up, surprised. Well, this was new. Didn't he usually just saunter in?
"Yeah, sure." She turned back to the computer.
He perched on the side of a chair, as though uncertain.
"Listen. I need to talk to you."
"About?"
Well, that didn't sound tense at all. Yeah, because my voice is always an octave higher than normal when I'm calm, Tasha thought to herself.
"What happened—in the cave."
Tasha swallowed the lump in her throat. "No, it's okay. You were under a spell. I totally forgive you for kidnapping me and trying to use me to take over the world."
"That's…not what I wanted to talk to you about, but I, uh, appreciate you forgiving that." A deep breath. Tasha still didn't turn to face him, scared about what she would see in those emerald eyes.
"Listen, the kiss--"
"It's okay. We…I was under a lot of stress, and you were evil, so we…well, there was a moment of—physical attraction. It was inevitable, you can't take it seriously."
Chris placed his hands on her shoulders. "Is that what you've told yourself? A 'moment of physical attraction'?" He sounded hurt. Wounded.
"Well, yeah." Tasha turned to face him. "I mean, it's not like you'd ever do anything like that if you weren't completely nuts—I mean, you've never tried something like that before." Damn, she couldn't hide that undercurrent of hope in her voice. "And I'd never think of--"
"What do you mean, I'd never do that if I wasn't nuts?" Chris looked at her askance, an indignant flame burning in his eyes.
"Come on, Chris. We're not like that. I know you don't think of me that way, and I--"
But Tasha never got the chance to finish, because he'd stopped her mouth with a kiss. His arms were around her—so gently—and everything was warm. He was kissing her lips like raindrops falling on cool water, and Tasha embraced him desperately and kissed back.
©WalkThruTheFire, 6th December 2005
A/n: I wanted you since the first time I saw you
But I never told you, I just hoped and dreamed
You never thought of me in that way
And you never ever would, or so it seemed
You flirted and joked, none of it real
And every time you did, I was the one who'd feel
But now…you're gone and you never knew
Exactly how I felt about you.
All I have is a kiss to build a dream on