Shadow of the Snake - Injury
Everything felt sore.
Why?
Then I remembered.
Ugh…
My back felt cold.
Not my bed then.
I could hear something.
No, someone…
"...did he end up like this?"
Am I dreaming?
The pain told me 'not likely'.
I'd like to be.
"Who…"
Quiet, I'm trying to sleep.
"Issai..."
The following silence let sleep take me.
My eyes shot open. I quickly registered that I was still in the medical lab, and once again found myself surprised at the lack of pain.
The magic of healing abilities. Is this why most of the characters are so reckless? There is the whole joke with shinobi running from the hospital.
Wait… was that fanon or canon?
I dismissed the thought and got to my feet. Which brought me the attention of the medic.
"You're free to go."
…
How long was I out?
I stopped outside of Issai's door.
I should probably tell them I'm back.
I knocked.
There was no answer.
He must be out.
So I walked over to Natsuhi's door and knocked.
Hurried sounds announced her presence on the other side before she opened the door and made herself known to me.
I didn't get a good look at her before I was pulled into the room with a tight hug.
Wha-
She let me go almost as quickly. Then with her hands on my shoulders, she went down on one knee to look me in the eyes with a serious expression.
"You're not going back to the arena."
It was said slowly, and the words lingered in the air.
My gaze fell to the floor, and my heart dropped into my gut.
In a stupidly self centered way, I thought how that look on her face was my fault. I brought us here. I wasn't good enough to avoid injury. I provoked the instructor.
My better half knew that there were factors out of my control, but it didn't help how I felt.
It didn't help that I had to try to explain that giving up wasn't an option.
I knew why I couldn't stop. The whole argument was one I'd played out in my mind enough times the little month we'd been here.
But when I needed to voice it?
My mind blanked and I choked up.
"Yumika."
A shake and a stern voice brought Natsuhi back into focus. The steel tinge in her voice echoed on her face, but in the depth of her eyes was a drop of fear. I would have reckoned that her thoughts lingered on the fears that I'd had here in the hidden sound.
Where reason failed, empathy prevailed.
"No, I can't walk away…"
The weight in my chest lifted, a sombre calm overcame me.
"...but I can handle this alone, you don't need to stay with me."
None of this had been fair for Issai and Natsuhi. I knew what to expect when they didn't, it was my ninja training that kept us here, so like I said, this was my fate, not theirs.
Without them I'd be alone; without them I wouldn't even get out of bed in the morning; but without them here, they'd be safe.
It was a warming thought that tugged my cheeks into a meek smile.
"It'll be fine. I'll be home when I'm done."
A part of me expected an objection.
A part of me could recognise that I was walking right into a tv tropes page: 'It's not safe, so I need to go on alone'
A greater part of me believed it would be best if she agreed.
Silence reigned as she stared through me. Her blank expression gave away nothing.
Then her eyes locked onto mine, taking on a distinct sharpness.
"How long have you known?"
?
"You were also ready to be alone when we left. Since you said bye to Ichino?"
What are you..?
"No… you had misgivings when your lord father said you'd be coming here didn't you?"
You can't be.
"...but you didn't brag about what happened with your brother's friend. Did you realise then?"
Stop.
"No... you never said you wanted to be a ninja like other kids..."
I averted my gaze.
"...yet you practised all the same, more seriously than any of the other kids, ever since…"
A pause.
A sigh.
"You were always smart."
She didn't say it, but the implication was there. She'd figured me out…
"You do know that I'm supposed to be the adult here?"
…at least part of me.
She stood up while I let out a sheepish chuckle.
"Well I… can't cook."
Natsuhi gave me a pat on my head..
"Then it's a good thing I'm staying, daimyo's orders."
Natsuhi explained the kitchen to me.
Apparently, a large portion of ninja didn't trust others to cook their food, so there were a few of these kitchens spread around the base. It was stocked with pots, pans, and the like, but most ninja who bothered with this level of paranoia used their own.
Culinary culture was an interesting topic. The basics seemed to vary depending on, well… culture.
I myself knew how to use most of the equipment, but my knowledge of actual food boiled down to carbohydrate of some form, meat, and something for flavour, most likely powder package sauce. Complications mainly arose from getting the salt and pepper right, and the time and degree to heat it with.
If I had been healthier, maybe I'd have known about salads as well.
On the other hand, I was completely out of my depth with what Natsuhi was trying to teach me.
There were a lot of smaller vegetables to cut up and prepare, an assortment of spices, and a list of instructions that went in one ear and out the other when it was done.
Which is why it was only when it was done, that I'd noticed that there was a lot less food than normal.
"What about Issai?"
There was a blank look on her face.
"He…"
She got up to put something away behind her.
"...was called back. It was decided that one of us would be enough."
Makes sense.
It hurt a bit that we hadn't gotten to say goodbye, but I understood that there was nothing more to be done.
The next day, I was alone.
Based on how things had been the rest of the month, I was almost expecting Issai to burst through the door and drag me off to practice archery.
A part of me recognised what the two had been doing. Being alone with my thoughts put me down, so they didn't leave me alone with my thoughts. I appreciated it, but now two was one, and it wouldn't be feasible for Natsuhi to keep distracting me that way on her own.
One month.
I had only been in the hidden village for a month so far.
I've dropped out of school a second time; witnessed a slaughter; made acquaintance with a prisoner; been sent to medical twice; and met Orochimaru.
All in a month.
If this village followed a similar pacing to Konoha, I'd be done at around age 12. That was around 5 years from now.
It was a terribly troubling thought…
I looked over at my bow.
If Issai was here, I'd already be shooting by this time.
Sigh.
I got up and got moving.
…
I gazed at the target.
Why am I here?
I had fired a total of three arrows.
They weren't even good shots.
This was the extent of my ability without Issai at my back.
Pathetic.
I popped out another arrow, but I didn't nock it. I just fiddled with it: tossing it up, spinning it, and etc…
Then I was bored again, and I tossed the arrow at the target. It was a terrible throw, but the arrow did stick to the target, even if it sagged and threatened to fall off.
"That's the worst throw I've seen."
Kin.
I turned to acknowledge the smirking girl, and put on a mildly playful smile.
Of course, between us, you're the one swinging their arms around half the time.
"Yes… you're… who… swinging… a lot."
Her scoff was a clear measurement of the quality of my banter.
"So where's the big guy?"
"Father… called him home."
She shrugged in response.
"First to 50 hits?"
I nodded
You're on, just let me reset first.
"Let me… reset."
I glanced over at my target, and was about to go pull out the arrow: when it fell out.
"Pfft"
I rolled my eyes and knocked an arrow.
Ready when you are.
"Ready."
…
She looked really smug this time, staring at me expectantly.
"Yeah, yeah, you win."
"Don't you forget it."
To make up for my unlimited quiver, she'd brought more pouches.
So much for that advantage.
She got ready to leave.
"Hey, Kin?"
She stopped with a curious look.
"When do you… practice here?"
Then the smirk came back.
"Every other day, same time. See you there."
With a wave, she was gone.
I started storing away the arrows I could save.
It was nice to have something to look forward to.
"You should try going back to class."
I winced, and tried to focus on the book in my hands.
"I know it… didn't go well last time..."
No shit.
"...but you won't know if you've made any progress if you don't try."
I haven't made progress. It's been a month.
She sighed.
"We already found out that you can read and write. Your listening has gotten better, and you speak well when you're not thinking about it."
I stubbornly turned a page.
"...worst case, if you can't follow the topic you can improve your comprehension."
My better half knew she was right, but if I didn't answer I could pretend she wasn't until we both forgot the discussion. A stubborn childish plan, but it was solid as wood.
"There's a class in 20 minutes, let's go."
Much like wood, that plan went up in flames.
…
The door to the classroom loomed ahead of me.
Hey me, you can still back out-
A supportive shove from Natsuhi dispelled the thought, and I shuffled through the door.
I tried to avoid the curious glances of the inhabitants, and continued my shuffle towards a seat in the back.
There was a general noisiness to the class, the cliques all involved in their own conversations. Being all kids under age 8, they spoke exactly as loudly as they wanted to.
It was perhaps why I didn't catch the approach of the person sitting next to me.
Looking up, it was Kin.
We were left in a bit of an awkward silence. Talking hadn't exactly been the crux of our friendship, and it didn't look like that was going to change anytime soon.
Fortunately, we were spared the extended silence thanks to the arrival of the teacher.
"Quiet."
He brought out some chalk and started writing out simple formulas on the wall.
"Today, we're focusing on maths…"
I knew maths. Which meant that I was able to keep up: the context let me fill in the gaps.
It seemed to be mainly three-digit addition and subtraction, with a bit of times tables as well. I was done with the questions before he asked us to start, which prompted a suspicious look from Kin.
"Numbers are easy."
Her look became incredulous at that, but she didn't get any further before someone else interjected.
"Is that so?"
I froze and looked over at the teacher, who was addressing me directly. Invoking the attention of the rest of the class as well.
"If that's the case then you can come down here and solve a few more questions in front of everyone while they're still working."
I couldn't see much of their face, but there was an expectant look.
An instinct told me that this was an attempt to discipline me.
Stiff, I walked on down.
He cleared the right side of the board and wrote some unsolved questions.
732 + 960 =
450 - 328 =
633 + 78 =
8 * 4 =
Simple enough…
732 + 960 = 1692
450 - 328 = 122
633 + 78 = 711
8 * 4 = 32
The class was still working.
The teacher crossed his arms looking over the questions, before writing out some more.
5 * 4 * 3 =
51 - 62 =
4 + y = 3
Then stepped aside for me to answer it.
I took my chalk and got to work…
= 60
51 - 62 = -11
4 + y = 3
y = -1
The teacher looked over the questions again, before wiping out the first set and writing out something new.
(x * x) + 2x - 3 = 0
They stepped aside.
Quadratic huh? Simple enough to not need the formula.
(x * x) + 2x - 3 = 0
(x + 3)(x - 1) = 0
x = -3 or x = 1
Looking back, it seemed the class was finishing up, so I put down the chalk and looked at the teacher.
Are we done?
"Get back to your seat."
Other than a strange look from Kin, the rest of the class was uneventful.
Maybe classes won't be that bad…
"Are you sure about this?"
I nodded. Natsuhi had been trying to talk me out of it for the last 10 minutes, but as I'd already said, I couldn't give up the arena.
"You don't need to go early."
Perhaps, but it's clear that I've been doing something wrong, and the only way I was going to get past that was…
"Need to talk to him."
We made it to the entry to the dreaded arena.
We didn't say bye.
Then I was standing on my own, with a hand on the door handle. I noticed it was shaking. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't seem to complete the motion needed to open the door.
That scared, huh?
I took a breath…
…held it for a second…
…then let it out, as I pulled the door open.
He was there already, alone, as I'd suspected he'd be.
He turned to face me, and I bowed.
You've run through this conversation in your head enough times, go.
"Sir, could I please have a moment of your time?"
He took an aggressive step forward.
I flinched back.
He crossed his arms.
"Make it quick."
I forced my sight between his eyes. The rest of me felt stiff.
"What have I done wrong?"
He took another step closer, crushing my courage. My eyes would have shot down, but he placed his palm on my head and forced me to face him again. Forcing me to see the building rage in his eyes.
"You really can't tell?"
I shook my head.
"You arrogant little shit."
He started clenching the hand on my head.
It hurt.
"I'm trying!"
He pushed me down on my knees, making a show of putting on just a bit more force he needed before letting go.
"Yeah right."
He turned and walked away.
I slammed my hand on the ground in front of me.
"What do you want from me!"
He ignored me and kept moving towards the balcony railing.
"You beat me when I held back, you told me to stop wasting time. I tried that, but then you beat me again. You told me not to fight back, and I didn't!"
I took a breath. Trying to calm the rapidly rising inferno in my chest.
"Do you want to hurt me?! Is that it? Fine!"
He finally stopped and looked back at me.
"Beat me as much as you like! After every session, free reign!"
I clenched my fists.
"Just let me grow stronger!"
A moment of calm.
"You're serious?"
I nodded.
"Even after what I did to your friend?"
?
"Oh, you don't know!"
He started laughing, and I felt something sink into my gut.
"He was here a couple of days ago, all angry and demanding."
He crouched and leaned closer.
"I shut him up. Took his arm right off."
My mind stopped.
I could imagine the scene playing out. It was in character for the both of them. As strong as Issai was, he wasn't a ninja.
Issai, with the biggest smile I'd ever seen on a person. Issai, who didn't have a mean bone in his body. Issai, who tried to learn archery for my sake. Issai, the teddy bear. Issai-
I took a breath…
What I want I cannot have, what I have I cannot lose. Where reason fails, empathy prevails. When the heart runs rampant, my mind will be my combatant.
I leaned down into a bow.
"Please…"
I saw him hover his foot over my left hand…
"You really are the worst."
…then stomp down.
Pain. Anger.
He lifted his foot up, and I snatched my hand to my chest, clutching it close.
"You're all the same…"
Hate. Hate. Hate.
He stepped back.
"...the world is just on a platter for you, everyone and everything is just for you to use."
I hate him.
…but I can't do anything about it.
He looked down at me, his mask covering up any expression.
"Meet me after the last fight, if you're still standing."
Then he pointed at my hand.
"You're not getting that fixed until after I'm done with you."
The door opened and another kid arrived.
"Line up."