Yay I'm just updating to tell everyone that even though I said I wasn't I am writing a sequel! It's called Rebirth or you can just find the link in my profile!

This is my first Fanfic it's kind of long for a one shot so bear with me! Please, Please Review!

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Gemma, Kartik, Felicity, Simon, Pippa, Circe or Anne any other old characters also belong to the fabulous Libba Bray

Love and Leaving

I walk through the woods in front of Spence wondering for the 100th time if he's going to be there. I suppose I shouldn't be shocked if he doesn't come. His timing has never been reliable before. But then again I've never really arranged a meeting with him before.

It's night time and the fall leaves crinkle under my feet, almost spooking me out of my cloak. In hand I have a carpet bag with all my belongings in it. These included my mother's girlhood diary, with all its secrets of the Order, my comb, and my other clean uniform.

Dew hangs off the branches and occasionally drips like fallen tears. These make me pause and really remember why I'm here, and why I'm venturing out of Spence at night perhaps never to return, then again perhaps I would.

After winter holiday ended and we went back to the Academy I couldn't forget him. He of course had gone into hiding, afraid that the Rakshana would find him. Betraying your brethren was almost equal to dying in the eyes of the Rakshana. And you would wish you could die if they ever found you. So after he had disappeared into the swirling snow, I waited.

And time at least as I saw it came to a stand still. Of course the snow still started to melt off the trees and buds started to blooming curling up wispy and small, smoke like then bursting into shades of pink and purple like fragrant flames. The robins returned piping and showing of there bonny red breast feathers each bird soaring through the sky as if they were king of the world.

Felicity and Anne still begged me to take them into the realms. Fee had become quite persistent somehow hoping against hope that Pippa who had disappeared after our final encounter with Circe, would come back. I had the suspicion that Anne loved the realms because they made her feel beautiful. The rest of the girls at Spence still teased her but truly not as much as they had before Fee had taken her under her wing.

Even though I know they were my friends and allies I still had a aching itch tapping at the back of my mind saying that if I didn't have powers they wouldn't really care for me. Or maybe they would treat me like a real friend.

Searching for Pippa was almost like searching for Mother. I knew neither of them would turn up. But unlike mother Pippa had become corrupted by living in the realms, unable to cross over to the spirit world peacefully I still blame myself for that though there was nothing I could do. Instead she had disappeared like so very many things in my life.

School dragged on and the only thing that improved was that Mrs. McCleethy was not to be returning. Mrs. Nightwing had announced this on our first day back at Spence. Anne Felicity and I knowing Mrs. McCleethy for what she truly was seemed to be the only ones who weren't disappointed, though Fee did admit to missing her archery lesson. I had never liked her in any way. I was still haunted by when I'd last seen her, demanding that I give the Powers back to the Order. She and the remaining women of the Order were almost no better than Circe doing almost anything for power. But It didn't matter what they said because where I am going they will never find me.

During the summer holidays we went to the countryside to stay in Grandmother's family house. Grandmother wanted to keep me in the warm country air hoping that it would help with my "melancholy" caused by the nasty. If only I had stayed with Fee in the city instead of going to stay next to the Middleton's

Simon of course was trying every possible measure to win me. Almost everyday he sent a new trinket, or book of poetry. And though I am very ashamed now I will admit it was the only thing brightening my day. Then things went terribly wrong.

In the middle of the golden month of August Fee came to visit with Anne in tow. Anne had had to stay at Spence over the summer, as Felicity's mother finding out about the scandal and realizing that Anne was not related to the Duke of Kent forbade her from ever darkening there doorway again. But because of this Fee had refused to go to Paris with her mother and Polly. So her mother had set up an elderly Mrs. Witherspoon to come and be company for her and had promptly left for Paris.

Felicity had written me 2 weeks earlier and asked my grandmother if she could come and visit. My grandmother was overjoyed to here this knowing that I wouldn't be up in my room poring over Simon's books if my friends were here. She immediately sent a letter back saying that she would be delighted to host Felicity.

Of course in the letter Fee had made no mention of Anne. She I was sure was hoping that Tom would be there. He however was in Scotland with some of her former school mates trying to forget her. Father was with us and spent most of his time wandering the gardens lost in memory. His drinking was getting better and whenever I could I tried to help with magic.

So Fee and Anne came and made me take them into the realms as usual. It was gorgeous as usual in the realms. Pink butterflies floated on the wind which was warm and smelled faintly of lilies of the valley. Willows hung loosely over the river. "Oh Gemma please take us sailing!" yelled Anne gazing out over the clear green waters.

"Yes," I sighed closed my eyes and wished up a boat. The Three of us climbed in. Felicity removed her socks and shoes and let her hair fall smoothly over her shoulders trailing gently in the water. We discussed everything from dinner parties we'd attended to of course Simon.

"Really Gemma you to would make a fine match. The highest of society next to the Queen." said Fee smartly.

"Yes I suppose we…" I trailed off. There he was, Kartik standing on the river bank his dark eyes shining and a delicate smile surrounding his lips. My heart leapt into my throat. With out a second thought I threw my self off the boat onto the bank and ran to meet him. And suddenly he wasn't there.

I stopped short and fell to the ground crying. Fee and Anne had come up behind me. "He's gone!" I wailed. And In my heart I really thought that this meant he was dead and not coming back.

"Who Gemma?" asked Anne. "There was no one there."

"Perhaps your grandmother was right perhaps you are going insane. Let's go back." ordered Felicity.

I pulled my strength together and we stepped through the shining door into my room, just as my father knocked on the door.

"Gemma darling Mr. Middleton is here to see you." He called. Anne let out a little squeal.

"I'll be down soon." I called back. Fee whirled around me wiping away my tears straightening my dress and smoothing down my hair.

I descended the stairs to see a very nervous looking Simon, and Grandmother and Lady Middleton. I got to the middle of the room and stood in front of him. He bent on one knee and asked that fatal question "Gemma will you marry me?"

For a second my heart stopped beating. I thought about all that days events and about how I would probably never see Kartik again. And gave then made my decision. "Of course I'll marry you Simon."

Suddenly his arms were around me and his lips pressed to mine and a cold weight dropped into my stomach. I realized that I had caught myself in a trap that there was almost no way of getting out of.

My reverie is broken as a shadowed figure steps from behind a tree. I open my mouth to scream thinking that it is some demon of the Winterlands or one of the Rakshana. But then his spicy smell and arms surround me and I'm lost in his warm soft kiss. All the worry I've felt about leaving with him and going back to my real homeland, India just drift away.

Suddenly he pulls away. "Gemma are you sure you want to do this. I don't want to be held responsible for ruining your life. I don't think I could live with myself if…"

I smile and kiss him again.

"Shhh.. Kartik of course I'm sure I love you not Simon remember."

"Of course I do. I was just making sure."

Slowly he lifts me up onto the horse he has hidden behind the trees. Then with my arms around his waist safe and warm we ride out, starting our lives together.