Chapter 13

The private jet hit an air-pocket and Willow tightened her grip on the arm-rest. She didn't used to mind flying but the tension among the group-members was so tense she feared it might be enough to send the plane spiraling out of orbit. Buffy had been sulking like a petulant child ever since dinner and Angel was walking on eggshells. Spike looked like he had a sore tooth and Giles was fretting over the Tian chronicles, desperately trying to figure out how to decipher them. The witches she had chosen to for this mission where relatively calm though. They all seemed confident that she was going to see them through this.

It had been extremely difficult to choose which of the coven's members to bring on this mission. There was no way of knowing if anyone who was still loyal to Catherine remained and it broke Willow's heart just thinking about it. In the end she chose to take as few as possible, although she already felt she might have brought too few. Catherine had taken six witches with her but there was no telling what other allies she may have. But there was nothing she could do about that now. She felt certain the ones she had chosen would follow her to the end and that was going have to be enough. There was Deanna, who had been a necessary choice since she was the only one who could keep the vampires safe from the sun. Besides, considering her obvious affection for Xander, betrayal was fairly unlikely. Cassandra was a plain girl in her early thirties who had only been at the coven a year. A late bloomer, she had just discovered her talent for healing a few years earlier and it had been Willow who had found her and helped her through the initial adjustment period. Mayling had been a fairly easy choice. A beautiful Chinese girl in her late teens, she had been sold off as a concubine by her impoverished parents when she was only ten. Willow had rescued her after a demon had taken possession of her "owner". Her powers weren't that strong but her energy-structure was similar to Willow's which would give Willow an extra power-surge when they bonded. She had struggled with the choice to bring Tess though. A rather ruff Australia woman in her early forties, she was very intelligent but also annoyingly opinionated. She was a wild card since she had been at the coven for fifteen years, recruited by Catherine herself. But she had seemed just as upset as Willow was at Catherine's betrayal and she was, next to Willow, the strongest witch in the coven. If Catherine thought she could win her over she would probably have included her in the group of witches that left with her.

Fridha had been the hardest choice. She adored the woman as she would a grandmother, but Fridha had known Catherine for half a century. Her powers where weak but her ability to see the future, as unreliable as it was, could be the difference between life and death. In the end it had been Giles who convinced her to bring her along. And in truth she couldn't imagine Fridha ever siding with such a mad endeavor as the one Catherine had embarked on, especially since she had clearly had visions of what might come if she succeeded. And there was a chance she might succeed. With only six witches, one broken Slayer, two sulking vampires, an old watcher, a knife-throwing half-demon and Xander, their little team was hardly enough to invoke fear in anyone. Willow sighed heavily, perhaps a little too heavy, as Xander shoot her a concerned look across the table. He was sitting in front of her, with Deanna next to him as usual. He had a crossword puzzle laid out on the table between them and was busy solving the intricate word-maze. He had tried to involve Willow at first but she had declined. There was too much going on in her head for her to focus on something so mundane. Besides she had a feeling she would have her fill of mazes soon enough. The plane swayed again and she closed her eyes and made herself breathe calmly. They still had a few hours before they would land. She should try to get some sleep.

She felt her body relax and the sounds around her slowly faded into silence. Suddenly she heard a strange noise and opened her eyes. To her surprise though, instead of seeing the insides of a plane she saw lush hills, a rippling brook and a large oak tree. It took a few seconds for her to realize she knew this place. This is where she and Catherine used to go to be alone. Obviously she was dreaming but it was the most vivid dream she'd ever had. She could practically feel the grass under her feet and smell the wildflowers that grew in the meadow. It was warm and the sun was shining from a clear blue sky. It was a spring and the birds and trees were practically exploding with the new life pulsating through them. This was her favorite time of the year. The fresh air and the tranquil sound of the brook made her feel more relaxed than she had been in over a year. She sat down next to the slow trickling water. Without thinking she put her hand in it the way she always did and let the cool water run between her fingers. Then she lay down on the grass, watched the birds fly so carefree in the sky, and let her mind drift. Suddenly she heard footsteps and she sat up surprised to realize she wasn't alone. It was Catherine. Her white dress glistened in the sun and her long, soft hair was hanging down, flying free in the gentle breeze. God she was beautiful! Willow smiled and reached out for her. How she longed for her touch! Catherine smiled and her eyes were filled with love. When she sat down next to Willow she looked her deep in the eyes and lovingly caressed her cheek.

"You know I love you, don't you?" she said and Willow felt like weeping for joy.

"Of course I know!" she answered breathlessly and Catherine leaned in and carefully kissed her lips. Her touch was so light but the heat between them was as overwhelming as always. Willow could feel her heart beat faster; her breathing becoming shallow and her desire grew. She wanted more and the kisses became increasingly intense. Catherine's fingers slowly unbuttoned her dress and caressing her passionately, kissing her until a whimper of pleasure escaped her lips. As Catherine's lips finally reached their goal Willow gasped in ecstasy, her back arching and her body burning with desire. Just as she was reaching climax Catherine's face was suddenly next to hers and her voice whispered in her ear,

"Go back, my love. Go home." Then she vanished and Willow was left seconds before orgasm, panting heavily while trying to figure out what had happened. She was still lying on the grass, her body was dripping with sweat. It had felt so real, but it couldn't be!

Why was she still here? Why couldn't she wake up if this was a dream? She dried the sweat from her forehead and made herself breathe calmly. She had to think. Was this her own fantasy or had Catherine somehow found a way to get inside her mind? She had heard rumors of such a thing, where a special amulet could be used to access and control the dreams of others but when she had asked Catherine she had said it was only a fairy-tale. Then again she had lied about a lot worse then that so perhaps... She got up and started pacing. As badly as she wished for all this to be nothing more then a weird dream, the lingering sensation of desire beckoned for a far more horrifying question; if Catherine could control her this easily, what would happen if worse came to worst? If she had to kill Catherine, could she?

"You wouldn't stand a chance, child!" Catherine's voice suddenly echoed around her and the lush hills and green meadows were suddenly not so friendly anymore.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Willow asked, frantically trying to figure out where the voice came from. "I loved you, I trusted you." she pleaded, hoping that maybe she could get through to her.

"I knew you wouldn't understand. You've spent too much time around that pitiful Slayer. I'm doing this for you, for us! You have to trust me, Willow. I can make the world a better place. No more wars, no more hunger or suffering. No more pain. I can do all that, but you have to trust me."

"How can you say that? You know the crystal corrupts! You'll ruin us all! Please stop this now before it's too late!" Willow felt the desperation in her grow. Angel had been right. Catherine was truly mad. How could she not have seen it before?

"I taught you everything!" the voice was booming inside her skull now and the pain made Willow crouch on the ground. "I showed you things beyond your wildest imagination. And this is how you thank me!"

The grass was gone now and there was nothing but darkness. Willow knew she was in trouble. She had to break free of this dreamworld somehow or she might be trapped forever. She had to think! Catherine was right, she had taught her a lot. But apparently she had neglected to mention this. She had to figure it out on her own. Catherine's voice still raged in her head. It was mostly ramblings now and she did her best to ignore it. She had made a mistake falling for Catherine, that much was obvious. Once again her heart had betrayed her. Never again though, never again...

The only thing that mattered now was stopping Catherine and saving the world from an eternity of hell. She breathed deeply, sat down and closed her eyes. Catherine may be able to control her dreams but she couldn't control her mind. She focused all her energy on her breathing, relaxed her muscles and cleared her mind. Suddenly the floor beneath her vanished and she fell headlong into a dark abyss. No! She would not let Catherine win! Her heart was beating so hard she thought it might jump out of her chest but she made herself ignore it, ignore the pain, ignore the fear. What would happen when she hit the bottom of this abyss? She would be crushed! No, don't let her win! Breathe! She forced herself to imagine the plane, the seat she was sitting in, the people around her. As she fell faster and faster she thought she heard voices, familiar voices. She made herself focus on those voices, let them guide her back to where she belonged. Slowly she could feel something pressing against her skin, the sense of falling faded. Suddenly she stopped. It was dark around her but at least she wasn't falling anymore. In the distance she could hear Xander calling out to her. All she had to do was open her eyes. But she hesitated. What if Catherine had been right? What if she didn't stand a chance? No, she couldn't let her win. She opened her eyes.

They were all standing around her, their eyes full of fear. Xander was sitting right in front of her, looking absolutely panicked.

"What happened, Will? You where screaming and I couldn't wake you?"

"Catherine." was all she said, all she could manage to say. She was still shaking.

"But you're OK?" he asked her fearfully and she nodded.

"She could control my dream." she said faintly and gave Fridha a questioning look. "Did you know she could do that?"

"No dear," Fridha answered with a touch of sadness in her voice, "if I did I would have warned you. But I fear she has hidden a great deal from us." Willow nodded.

"I think you're right." she said, then added, "And so was Angel. She really is mad. She believes she can make things better by using the crystal."

"How do we know she can't?" Xander suddenly asked, causing everyone to stare at him in stunned disbelief. He hurried to go on, "I mean do we really know it's going to corrupt her?" Willow couldn't help but smile.

"Yes Xander we know that. Not only did she break every possible ethical rule this coven has ever sworn by in less than a week, the last time someone used this crystal there was a tidal wave that nearly killed all of humanity. So yeah, I say we can be pretty sure she's mad."

"Just checking." he said trying to look as innocent as possible, but she knew him better than that. He had wanted to remind her of why they were doing this and he had succeeded. Still she wished she could be sure they would make it.

As they came closer to their destination Willow grew more and more restless. The memories of her dream made her reluctant to even close her eyes. Eventually she got up and started pacing. Angel's jet was fairly large and fitted with every possible luxury, including a TV that had Spike and Kaya consumed by some action movie. Buffy was sitting as far away from the rest as she could manage, which clearly had put Angel in a terrible mood. Willow avoided his scowl and sat down next to her friend.

"You OK?" she asked quietly. Buffy turned her head towards her and gave her an unreadable look.

"No, not really." she said simply, then added, "but then again neither are you. Or any of us, I'm guessing. Catherine has done her job well." With that she turned back to the window. Outside there was a strange, beautiful world of soft, delicate cotton. Cast in a pure white and bright blue the clouds formed imaginative shapes, enticing the mind to lose itself in endless possibilities. It was breathtakingly beautiful in all its serene innocence. But it wasn't real, just tiny drops of water and optical illusions. Willow sighed regretfully. It would be nice if the world was that simple but she had reality to worry about and a question she really didn't want to ask.

"Buffy?" she said then hesitated for a moment, "How did you do it?" Buffy turned her head slowly and looked at her with eyes older than her years.

"Did what?"

"Kill Angel?"

"Oh, that. I had no choice." she said simply and went back to watching the clouds.