Author's Note: Okay, final chapter for tonight I promise! I hope this in some small way helps to make up for my prolonged absence. Thank you again for all of the lovely reviews and the encouragement to keep on going. I appreciate it more than you know.
Disclaimer: I do not own Carmen Sandiego, but I did write this story
Carmen was looking through one of the reference books on the shelves behind her desk. She had just gotten back to San Francisco VILE headquarters about an hour earlier and was still settling in. If her employees had been at all surprised about the timing and means of her arrival they had remained silent about it. A fact for which she was grateful. She had thankfully had the opportunity to shower and put on a change of clothes after arriving so that she could adjust. Admittedly after such a long absence she was having a bit of trouble readjusting to being here.
Yes this was technically a home to her, but it wasn't a home the way that ACME was. Gone for only a few hours and she already missed it there. She was supposed to be checking in with the Chief sometime tonight and quite honestly she was looking forward to it. Perhaps it was for the best that she was here now too. From all accounts she had heard that Chase would be getting in this evening. At this point although it was the plan for her to return to ACME after this week she was considering staying here.
It would perhaps be the most prudent thing to do. Facing Chase would be difficult if it came to that. After what she had done to him she didn't think he would be at all amenable to seeing her. Truth be told she was still afraid to see him. It was strange being so conflicted about this. She missed him dearly, and she wanted nothing more than to be with him right now. She longed for his warm embrace. With him she was safe and she knew that no harm would come to her. Yet, the image of her attacker was still so ingrained in her mind that it would be virtually impossible to allow that to happen.
No, she wouldn't be able to face him. Even if she was she didn't know that she would be able to tell him what happened. He couldn't know. It would perhaps be better if she were to avoid him altogether. It would save them both a lot of pain, and maybe sometime in the future, they would be able to work things out again. Oh she desperately hoped that they would be able to do something. There was no use mulling it over now though. What she needed at this moment was focus. Her heist would be unsuccessful if she could not get her head in the right place to begin with.
Shaking her head she returned to the book in her hand, looking for something that might be of use, or rather something that might distract her from all that was going on. A few moments later there was a knock at the door. Unintentionally she tensed up, her whole body going rigid. This was it. For the first time in weeks she would be facing one of her own employees. Instead of following directions, she would be back to giving them. If she could just keep it together she would be fine. She took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. "Come in Sara."
The door opened and closed with a soft click behind Carmen. She was still looking at her book trying to regain some of her level headedness and composure. "Please, take a seat." There was a moment of hesitation then soft footsteps on the hard wood floor and a gentle creaking as her guest took her seat. A few more moments, and some deep breaths before she closed her book and replaced it on the shelf. Then carefully with one last deep breath she turned around and took a seat behind her desk and met the gaze of her chief scientist.
"Sara, it is good to see you today." Carmen said trying to make her voice and tone sound as normal as possible. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"Carmen, it is a pleasure to see you as well." The other woman began. "It has been quite some time since I've seen you and I wanted to see how you were doing. You've been rather….silent lately."
The other woman was nervous. She hid it well, but Carmen could pick up the subtle signs. Her voice lilting a little bit higher than it usually would, and she was looking just a bit to the left. There was more to her visit than this. "Yes, I was. I suppose I just needed something of a break. Eventually everyone does." Carmen said with a wave of her hand. "Just a chance to recharge my batteries." Even to her own ears the excuse was not convincing. Her voice sounded tired and worn out. Hardly what one would expect from a sabbatical.
"Oh, I see." Sara said. Carmen could tell that she had a question she wanted to ask, but she held it back. "Well, it's good to have you back and I am looking forward to our upcoming heist. You just got back, you probably want some time to yourself, I should get going."
The other woman started to get out of her chair, but Carmen stopped her. "Sara, I've known you for a number of years. You've got something else on your mind, there is another reason you came here this evening. What is going on?"
Sara sat back down in her chair. Her face was a bit flushed, and she was clasping and unclasping her hands nervously. While not always the most levelheaded and clear thinking individual on the planet, she normally wasn't prone to being quite so nervous. "There was something else. I need to take, that is to say I will need to request, a leave of absence. If you will grant me one."
"Of course." Carmen said without hesitation. How long will you need, and when?" If Sara was taking a leave of absence then there had to be a good reason for it. Her curiosity was piqued at this request.
"Two months from now, maybe a bit sooner depending. I should think that three weeks would be enough." She said nervously.
"Sara, you're keeping something from me. I am happy to help you however I can. Let me know how I can do that. What is wrong?" Carmen asked reaching across the table and taking the other woman's hands in hers. They were cold and clammy. She really was nervous about something.
Sara took a deep breath and looked away for a few moments. Carmen could tell that her heart was racing. What could she possibly have to say that would make her so nervous? Instead of saying anything she stood took her hands out of Carmen's and stood up in front of her. For a moment it looked like she was going to leave, but then she unbuttoned her lab coat and Carmen let out an audible gasp. Sara was pregnant. Of all the things Sara could have come to her with, this was the last thing that she was expecting.
"Oh Sara." she said standing up too. She didn't even know what to say about this. "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"
"It has been months since I have seen you since I only got back from my assignment in Italy while you were gone." Sara said tentatively. "It's also well known that you do not like, well that children aren't well you know."
"No I don't know." Carmen said.
"That you don't like children." Sara said quietly. "Don't worry though, I'll be back after three weeks and I will find someone to adopt the child. I've already been looking into different candidates, I haven't signed any paperwork yet. It was my mistake and I need to take care of it."
"Sara, Sara. Please listen to me for a moment." Carmen said walking around her desk and putting her hands on the other woman's shoulders. Sara was almost crying by now. The poor woman was almost sick with stress. "I don't hate children, in fact I love them. Three weeks is not nearly enough time for you to take. After the birth of a child! Take three months, take however much time you need. Most importantly don't feel obligated to give up your child for the sake of your job. Unless you really, really, want to put them up for adoption, we can work something out."
"Sara seemed to relax a little bit at this. "It would be okay with you?"
"Of course. I'm not a tyrant, you of all people should know that is true. The well being of my employees is incredibly important to me. I cannot believe that you would think otherwise."
"It's just that, well you shy away from the topic of children when people bring it up, you don't have any yourself, and you were an orphan."
"That doesn't mean I don't like children." Carmen said finally looking down at her hands. "My career just doesn't allow for me to have a family. It was my choice to pursue this path in life, and I am happy with what I chose. Just because my life is one way and yours is another it doesn't mean that I have a problem with it. So cheer up and be happy, this should be an exciting time for you."
Sara finally seemed at ease. "Thank you Carmen, I appreciate it." she said
"Now I am sure there is some sort of story behind this…" Carmen said stepping back and gesturing towards her friend's belly. This wasn't some sort of lab experiment gone wrong, was it….?"
"No, no!" Sara said quickly. "Just….a lapse in judgement and a brief fling."
"Please tell me it wasn't Lars, or Moe." Carmen said.
"Heavens no. Not that much of lapse in judgement" Sara replied with a shudder.. "It was an old flame from another time.
"What happened when he found out about the baby?" Carmen asked hoping that she was being delicate enough.
"He didn't." Sara replied firmly. "It turns out he worked for the Italian intelligence agency. I kept a different identity while I was there of course, but it was too risky for me to stay with him. I just sort of….disappeared. Then a few weeks later I found out about the baby."
"Did you love him?" Carmen asked.
"Very much so." Sara replied almost wistfully. "It was just too dangerous to stay with him. I could have ruined everything. At least though, now I have some of him with me."
Carmen nodded. It was a difficult situation to be sure, and she could commiserate with that on some level. "Well, I am glad to have you back here, and I am truly very happy for you." she said giving her friend a hug. "If you need anything at all, just let me know. I'll do whatever I can to help you."
"Thank you. I really appreciate it." Sara said with a smile. "I really should be getting back to work now."
Carmen nodded. "Alright, but do take it easy." The two exchanged a few more pleasantries before Sara took her leave.
When Sara walked out of Carmen's office she was met with a few curious coworkers. She was expecting as much. Gossip was rampant around VILE, and now that Carmen had returned after such a long absence everyone was curious. Mostly everyone knew that she was back by now, but thus far Sara had been one of the few to actually come into contact with her. Given what she had come in to talk about as well she had known that many people would have their questions for her.
"What's going on with her?"
"Are you still with us?"
"Did she get some sort of surgery?"
"Was she bitten by a radioactive spider."
gave all of them a look that said "go away" in no uncertain terms. Luckily for her they heeded it and everyone dispersed. That is all but one person. "James." she said walking down the corridor, buttoning her lab coat again as she did so.
"Dr. Bellum." he replied curtly falling into step with her. They walked in silence until they reached the elevator and the doors closed.
"What do you want James?" Sara asked as he opened up a keypad in the elevator and punched in a string of numbers.
He didn't answer her. The elevator started to move quite quickly. When the doors opened they were not in Sara's lab, but James's office. He motioned her ahead before following behind her. Once the elevator doors were closed he spoke. "Details." He took a seat on the edge of his mahogany desk and gestured for her to take a seat in one of the armchairs across from it.
Sara took the proffered seat and tentatively sat down. She was not often in this room, but each time she was here it was quite different. From her vantage point she could see the large lcd screen that took up a portion of his desk with feeds from each of the rooms and exteriors of the building, excluding Carmen's personal study and apartments. Sturdy oak bookcases packed with volumes covered most of the walls in the space, save for a large bay window with a magnificent view of the bridge. A darkened glass wall separated this space from a workshop that could have put her own lab to shame.
James was the head of security for VILE. He was ex-CIA, a former Navy Seal and about as dark and brooding as they came. Although it wasn't an official position he considered himself by and large to be Carmen's protector. She had always refused the idea of a bodyguard, stubborn and independent as she was. James was, however, the next best thing. He certainly wasn't overt about it, and when Carmen made it clear the she wanted space and alone time he granted it to her, but when it really counted he was there. With her prolonged absence he had definitely been on edge.
"I'm not sure what you want me to tell you." Sara said with a shrug placing a hand on her belly. "It's certainly Carmen."
"Thank you for stating the obvious." James said dryly. "You know what I mean. Any indication at all as to the cause of her prolonged absence?"
"She said she had needed to take a break to recharge her batteries." Sara said. James nodded along. "I didn't press for more information, she did not seem to be in a mood to give it."
"I see." James said finally. "Did you notice anything different about her mannerisms, her person? Anything at all?"
Sara sighed. She was tired and would have preferred to have been able to return to her rooms rather than sit here answering questions, but she acquiesced. "Her presence seemed….different somehow. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she did not seem to have the same energy as she used to.
He walked away from his perch on the desk to the bay window, staring out pensively. "How did she react to your….news?" he asked, his tone measured but she knew better.
"Far better than I anticipated she would. I've been granted three months leave which is more than generous."
"The child? What of that….?"
"She told me she was happy for me. I'll be keeping the baby." Sara said.
He turned around at this quite suddenly. "Indeed? I thought you had plans for adoption lined up. Carmen doesn't like children."
"She certainly does a good job of acting if that is the case. You seem almost annoyed about this." Sara said suspiciously.
"No, not annoyed per-say." He said softly.
"Well you certainly don't seem happy about it." Sara said trying to keep her voice level.
"You must see the situation this puts you in, us in really." James said turning around again. "She had to have asked about parentage. What did you tell her?"
"Oh you know, that I had a fling with Lars." Sara said sarcastically.
"Sara….Don't play games with me." James said pacing the floor. "What did you really tell her?"
"Oh, now I'm Sara and not Dr. Bellum? Of all times now?"
"Sara. I'm losing my patience."
"I told her that I had a fling with an old flame when I was stationed in Italy months ago." Sara said. "Nothing at all that could link this back to you. I doubt she would even suspect that you are the father."
"Do not underestimate her attention to detail or her observational skills. She is quite adept. The elements that made her a great detective are also what keep her on top of the world as a thief." James cautioned her. "If anyone figures it out, it will be her."
"Are you afraid that you are going to be too attached and give things away? Perhaps that you have been acting too much the part of doting father to be?" Sara asked. "I've got news for you. Nobody, and I mean nobody is getting that vibe from you at all."
"Sara, Sara." He said walking over to her and putting his hands on her shoulders. "There is no need for you to be so resentful about this. You know perfectly well my feelings on the matter."
"Yes, it is all perfectly well and good to have a wife and an offspring, provided they are not present in your life."
Carmen waited until the door clicked shut behind Sara before collapsing in her chair. There were tears in her eyes once again. Her news had been a stab to the heart. Sara was going to have a baby. Of all of the people, Sara Bellum her slightly mad scientist. She was happy for her of course, in her own way. Sara and James would certainly make interesting parents. It did make her wonder how long the two of them were going to continue to keep up the charade surrounding their relationship. At this point that seemed rather moot. Of course though, she would play along as she had done these past several years.
Carmen opened the top drawer of her desk and slid her hand over the hidden panel. It slid aside and revealed a compartment filled with personal belongings. She leafed through the documents until she found a small manila envelope. Carefully she opened it and pulled out the contents, careful not to bend or tear it. Inside were two ultrasound photos. They were from nine years ago. Photos of the daughter she had lost. The daughter Toscano had taken from her in his wretched attack. The attack that had rendered her infertile, or just about as good as.
Even now it still hurt to think of how for however brief a time, she was a mother. Her daughter would have been eight years old now. She and Chase would have been more settled. Perhaps they would have had another child as well. Yet now all of that could never be. All because Arturo Toscano had attacked her. All because she had been stupid enough to go after him alone. Knowing her condition all the while. She shouldn't have done it. It was her fault that she had lost her child.