Thank you, Angela! You are the best!

You guys! Thanks for the comment and the giggles and following the pointless insanity that was this fic :)


Chapter the Eleventh: Maybe I'm amazed

Elizabeth greeted them with anxiety. "What happened?"

Rodney's mouth was agape, Sheppard looked battered, Teyla looked confused and Ronon looked as unconcerned as he usually did, though he seemed to be favouring his right leg.

"Colonel?"

Sheppard shrugged. "What say we wait until the debrief? I think we could all do with some food and painkillers."

Elizabeth stepped back, the fear that had kept her on edge since the first missed check-in receding at the sight of Sheppard's team standing in the gateroom alive and well. Rodney kept looking over his shoulder at the gate and making a fine impression of a fish, but as none of his team-mates seemed concerned, Elizabeth felt within her right to send them to Carson without further interrogations. She watched them go, walking one beside the other, obviously tired. She returned to her desk to wait for the debriefing.

Sheppard allowed Teyla and Rodney to guide him, as he was really in need of painkillers; a heavy dose of the really good ones wouldn't go amiss.

They walked in comfortable silence, each of them reflecting on the bizarre events of the past day or so. Who knew how long it had been. Not that long, for Elizabeth had been exhibiting normal anxiety rather than the missing-for-days-where-have-you-been-medical-team-to-the-gateroom kind.

It wasn't until they had reached the corridor housing the infirmary that Rodney found his speech function. It was never too far away, but sometimes it was lost in the jumble of thoughts that raced around his brain. "Did we just risk our lives for the amusement of clone-loving Bedrock-Ren Fair?"

"Looks that way," Sheppard said.

"And we turned rocks into unpleasant things and back."

"Sure did."

"On a planet that was possibly filled with Ancient technology."

"I think so."

"And we left! Just like that, no trade, no sneaking around for ZedPMs?"

"Feel free to go back."

"But…Ancient tech!"

"But crazy tests for the enjoyment of the court. Did you miss the part where we were, I imagined, drugged and left in a dark rock hole? Really, go back if you want, I'll clear it with Elizabeth, but if they're copies of copies of copies or whatever the hell those Akhos were, the smarts aren't bound to get much better. How much fun would it be to yell at idiots who don't understand your insults?"

Rodney angled his head in agreement. "True. I much prefer to berate sentient beings; at least they get how stupid they are."

"Also," John said, giving Rodney the eye, "we're not calling it Bedrock. They didn't use animals in a practical but fun way."

"Maybe they did and you don't know it."

They entered the infirmary where Carson awaited. "All in one piece, today. That's a nice change." He indicated two beds. "Colonel, what have we got here?"

Sheppard pointed at Ronon. "He was bleeding, but I'm not, I wasn't."

Ronon sent a dirty look his way as Carson refocused his concern. "Were you, now? You know the drill, strip and sit." The doctor held out scrubs, wholly unconcerned by Ronon's protest. "It's just the leg!"

"Colonel?"

Rodney grinned. "He fell from a mountain."

"It wasn't a mountain."

"It was a rather high fall," Teyla supported Rodney's claim.

"You too, Colonel, strip and sit. I'll get Nurse Flannigan to assist you." Another pair of scrubs handed, another patient biting the Scottish rump.

"Teyla, lovely girl," Carson said with a smile.

"I am well, thank you, and do not believe I sustained any injuries." Her post-mission exam was nearly completed by the time Sheppard and Ronon returned in scrubs of a fetching red as one tiny, burnt patch of skin was all she had to present to the doctor.

Rodney passed the time lost in blabbering, still preoccupied by the thoughts of numerous Akhos, crazy tasks and nearly useless devices. Ronon recounted his riding exploits to a jealous Sheppard, but ceased when Carson confirmed Teyla's good health and returned his attention to the three men.

"Alright, Rodney, what have you got for me today?"

"I'm fine, completely unharmed unlike those two," he said, with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, pointing to Ronon and John with his thumb.

"Glad to hear that, I'll be rid of you soon, then."

"Carson, you're so kind toward your patient, I'll certainly regret not having the chance to spend time in this hellhole."

"I can arrange for you to stay," the doctor said sweetly and he rolled up Rodney's sleeve.

Teyla sat beside Ronon as Rodney was poked and prodded. Sheppard made himself comfortable and listened to Ronon's recounting of Rodney's task. Once the scientist was cleared, he bounced over to the occupied beds and let himself collapse on Sheppard's.

"You know what's interesting?" McKay asked innocently, with a smile that alluded to nothing good.

"No. What?" Sheppard knew he had opened a clear path to ridicule, but didn't regret it. Rodney had turned Ronon to rock; he was in so much trouble he deserved a bit of a break.

"That, out of the four of us, me and Teyla were chosen as the Sub-Taskings, but it's you and Ronon who got roughed up." Rodney's grin widened. "Seems to me, Prime-Taskings aren't all they're set up to be."

Three pairs of eyes swivelled to him; two disbelieving and one amused. The events of the day played through the men's heads; Ronon pushing Rodney in the alcove; Sheppard turning Rodney away from the body. Ronon being turned to rock; Sheppard reaching out as Rodney was pulled away. Ronon arranging devices around the scientist; Sheppard injured but comforting Rodney.

Only Teyla smiled, remembering what Akhos the Taskmaster had said. The most impressive one, my son. The most impressive one is always the Prime-Tasking of the First Dyad. "Rodney, I believe you are correct. Akhos made a terrible error in denying us our rightful title."

If she forgot stature was most important to the Masteriache, she could certainly believe that they had all deserved to be Prime-Taskings of the First Dyad. They worked well together; what they had achieved would not have been possible had they not all been part of it. She rose to her feet and stood between the two beds. "Shall we go get food for our poor injured?"

Rodney jumped to his feet. "Sounds good."

When they had reached the door, Sheppard yelled out, "That's right, go fetch lunch, Sub-Taskings."

Rodney yelled back, "You wish, Sir Limp-a-Lot!"

"Stop yelling in my infirmary!"

Sheppard grinned, settling comfortably on his bed. "Sub-Taskings, that'll never get old."

Ronon chuckled and laid back to wait for his meal.

Fini!