Authors Note - I've been waiting to write this chapter for ages, and I'm really pleased with how its turned out. I hope you guys like it too. The next one, I hope, will be really good too. As always, reviews appreciated, and I own nothing :) Lyrics are from 'Let Me Let Go' by Faith Hill.
'I thought it was over, baby
We said our goodbyes
But I cant go a day without your face
Goin through my mind
In fact, not a single minute
Passes without you in it
Your voice, your touch, memories of your love
Are with me all of the time'
His body was so close to Trish, that she could smell him. The warmth of his palm on her cheek seemed to make her skin hum at a level that made her heart soar. A single tear spilled from her eyes, trickling its way down her cheek. Gently, Jeff extended his thumb, brushing the tear away. Raising her own hand, Trish rested it on the back of Jeff's.
Almost in slow motion, Jeff leaned closer to Trish, his lips desperate to meet hers. Trish's eyes felt heavy as though weighed down by lead weights, begging to be closed and for her to just surrender to this man.
His lips almost upon her own, a single thought flitted into her mind -
How could I give in to him?
XXXXXXXX The Party XXXXXXXX
The collection of superstars rested in an irregular circle around Matt's dining table. Men and women, in various states of drunken stupor were sat cheering on the pair in the middle, sat facing opposite each other, grinning as they shifted the playing cards held in their hands. An hour earlier, Matt Hardy, Ashley Massaro, Lisa, Matt Striker, John Cena, Melina Perez, Johnny, Torrie Wilson, Trish Stratus and Randy Orton had all agreed to join in a game of 'Strip Bullshit'.
The idea of the game was to get rid of all the playing cards in your hands by telling a mixture of truths and bluffs to secure a victory. However, if someone challenged your bluff, or you challenged someone who was telling the truth, you were forced to pick up the discarded cards and add them to your hand.
In a delicious twist added by Lisa, you also had to lose and item of clothing with every incorrect guess. Much hilarity ensued immediately, with Melina being stripped naked in less than two minutes due to her inability to keep a straight face.
As the game had progressed, each superstar had been caught out and stripped naked. John Cena was the last to be caught out with a bluff, in the process losing the only piece of clothing he had left on…his baseball cap. Standing up to stretch, Melina turned her head away in abject shock as Trish burst into giggles at the sight of Cena's dangling appendage. With John leaving the game, it was down to two players, Trish realised. Herself…and Orton.
Sat in a pair of black boxer briefs, Randy grinned across the table to Trish, only left in one of Cena's sporting jerseys, with nothing underneath. The next person to be caught out would be baring all for the group. Licking her lips, Trish smiled seductively at Randy as she placed two of her remaining five cards face down on the wooden table.
"Two Kings." Her smile gave Randy a reason to doubt her honesty. Knowing he was being manipulated, he let that turn pass. Selecting two of his cards, his deep voiced reply came as -
"Two twos." Trish smiled across the table at Orton. I've got you now buddy. Making a deliberate show of flicking her hair over her left shoulder, Trish placed the remaining three cards face down on the table, giving Randy the best 'bedroom eyes' she could muster.
"Three Kings." Randy's eyebrow shot up immediately, challenging Trish.
"Bullshit baby girl!" Trish glanced at Randy, and around the room before reaching for her cards. Silence filled the space in the room, coming thick as honey. Taking what seemed an eternity, Trish flipped over each card in turn, Randy grinning all the more as she did so.
King of Hearts…King of Clubs…King of Diamonds…
All at once Randy's smile vanished from his lips as the reality sank in on him. Resounding cheers came from the crowd gathered around, with wolf whistles being provided by Lisa. Folding her arms, Trish stared hungrily at Randy, who actually seemed embarrassed at the thought of exposing himself to his peers.
"Now come on baby boy," Trish began, "its not like we haven't seen it before." Giggling, Randy shot her a withering look, before pulling down his boxers to his ankle, much to the unanimous screams of the females in attendance. Lapping up all the attention, Randy winked at Trish, who simply rolled her eyes and got up from the table.
After changing back into her jeans and baby -t, Trish headed to Matt's fridge, grabbing herself a bottle of beer, before rummaging around for something to snack on. The slap on her exposed butt caused her to bump her head on the front of the fridge. Already guessing on who had landed the blow, Trish whirled around, abuse raining from her lips.
"Orton, what have I told you about putting your meat hooks on me?" Blushing, Trish realised too late it wasn't Randy. Standing before her in denim shorts and shirtless torso was John Cena.
"Expecting the blue-eyed prostitute huh?" he grinned.
"Well, I had my suspicions." Trish admitted, knocking the fridge shut with her backside.
"So, I heard about your night out with he Legend Killer. You another notch on his bed post?" John looked genuinely concerned, before Trish threw a punch into his massive bicep.
"Give me some credit here John. I know everyone else thinks he's god's gift to the female of the species, but I'm not that easily impressed."
"C'mon Trisha, why so harsh? Its not like girls don't throw themselves at him." John admitted, slinging his arm around the petite blonde.
"Women throw themselves at you John. You just happen to be a little more caring and discreet with the women you date." Trish smiled, wrapping around his back.
"You don't find him just the little bit…dreamy?" John laughed. Rolling her eyes, Trish pushed away from John, before hoping into a seated position on the island in the middle of the kitchen.
"Not you too Jay. Everyone seems obsessed with me finding Randy Orton attractive. So I admit it. He's a good looking guy, but I drown in his arrogance whenever I'm around him. I'm just not like those other girls who drool over him okay? That's just not me." Trish rolled her eyes again, tasting her beer.
"Girls like Candice you mean?" John offered.
"Exactly. I mean, I love the girl but she needs to move on already. This 'stalking my ex fuck buddy' thing she's got going on is just creepy now. And she totally blew up at me earlier when I was being grilled on my night out with Orton. What is her problem." More than a little angered, Trish twisted the bottle around in her clenched fists.
"She could do better, if only she'd take off the Orton blinkers." John sighed, resting back against the fridge.
"John…honey…are you hot for Candice?" Trish smiled mischievously. Looking up at her, John looked something like a deer caught in the headlines.
"I…uh…well…yeah…"came the stumbled reply, which Trish found cute beyond words.
"Have you told her?" Trish offered.
"No…no…I'm no good with that shit. I can't just slide up to a girl and be all 'hey baby, how about it' y'know?" John seemed to deflate before Trish's eyes.
"Honey, you don't need to be like that. Just talk to her. I'm sure she doesn't even know you're interested. Hell, I had no clue, and I spend most of time with you." Trish giggled.
"Doesn't matter though does it? Its not like she'd care. She's too obsessed with getting Orton to want to fuck her again." His tone expressed defeat, which fired Trish up.
"Jay, honey, you're an attractive, sweet funny guy. Any girl would jump at the chance to be with you. You've just got to give them the chance. This weekend is the perfect opportunity to hang out with her. Maybe if you presented yourself as available, she'd be more open to the idea that there are better men in the world than Randy." Jumping down off the island, Trish pulled John into hug, planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Go get her tiger." She added with a giggle. Slinging his arm around her shoulder, John walked back into the main room with Trish.
Staring adoringly at John, Trish didn't even notice the silence in the room until she turned her attention back to everyone else. Both chocolate brown eyes registering the newest guest all at once, Trish felt her feet slide out from beneath her.
"You…" was all she could manage.
Stood in the centre of the room, all eyes on him, was the man Trish had spend the past three years trying to get over. And in one second of recognition, all the walls to the pain she had built crashed down without a second thought.
With one hand shoved into the pocket of his dirty denim jeans, Jeff Hardy smiled softly at the Canadian diva. This had been the moment he had dreamed of since he had walked out on her all that time ago. Trish had changed so much in the years since he had last seen her, and yet she hadn't changed at all.
'Let me let go, baby
Let me let go
If this is for the best
Why are you still in my heart
Are you still in my soul
Let me let go
I talked to you the other day
Looks like you make your escape
You put us behind, no matter how I try
I cant do the same'
With Jeff carefully stepping toward her, John stepped partly in front of Trish, as if to shield her from Jeff. Placing her hand on his shoulder, Trish stepped forward, smiling weakly at John, before turning back to Jeff.
"Hi." Jeff breathed, the slight southern twinge to his voice making Trish's heart beat in a way it hadn't for so long.
"Hey…" was all Trish could say, more stunned than anything else to be this close to the man who had been her life for so long.
"It's good to see you Trish. Do you think, maybe we could go somewhere to talk?" His voice sounded so innocent and frightened as he looked at Trish through the dark purple hair he had. It was enough to make Trish want to hold him and never let go for as long as she lived, whilst at the same time her mind screamed at her to run in the opposite direction as fast as she could.
"Uh…yeah…sure…" as though in a drunken daze, Trish accepted the hand Jeff had extended to her, leading her out of the room to the front porch of the house. All eyes followed them as they left, none paying more attention than those of Randy Orton.
Once outside, Trish gently rested against the banister of the porch, wrapping her arms around herself. Jeff paced back and forth for a few moments, trying to find the words he had been feeling for so long.
"I thought you were in Japan." Trish softly began.
"I was. Didn't work out," Jeff attempted a weak smile, "you look really good Trish. How have you been?"
"That's a loaded question," A ghost of a laugh escaped Trish's throat, "and thank you."
"Trish," Jeff's face became filled with concentration as he stopped pacing, standing directly opposite Trish, hands deeply imbedded in his pockets, "I'm sorry. About what happened that night in the hotel room…I…shouldn't have done things like that. It was a mistake and I'm sorry."
"You're telling me this now? Three years down the line, without a single word, and now you're telling me your sorry." Trish croaked, daring to lock eyes with Jeff.
"I…I thought it better that if I just got out of your life totally…maybe things would be easier for you."
"You thought wrong." Trish bit, tears beginning to sting the back of her eyes.
"Butterfly.-…"
"Don't call me that. You lost the right to call me that a long time ago Jeff." Trish managed, feeling the tears work their way to the front of her eyes.
"Trish…please don't cry. I…I didn't come here to hurt you. I just…I wanted to explain…" Jeff stopped, seeing the tears reflected in Trish's eyes hurt him in more ways that he could express.
"How did you think this was going to go Jeff? You'd come here, and apologise and everything would be okay again?" Don't cry Trish. Just don't let him see you cry. He's not allowed to hurt you anymore. We decided that a long time ago.
"Yes…no…I don't know what I thought. I know I hurt you Trish, and that eats me up inside every single day, you have no idea. I wish I could change what I did but I can't, I know that. I just want to make amends, I owe you that much." Jeff tried to catch Trish's eyes, but she refused to look at him, focusing on her own feet.
"Don't you think it's a little late for all that? Maybe this is something you can't put right. I'm sorry I can't alleviate your guilty conscious. Maybe this has to be something you'll just have to live with, like I did." Trish half sobbed, feeling the tears blur her vision.
"Trish, please. Just tell me what I need to do to make it better. I will do anything. I know I have no right to ask you for anything now. But I just want to talk to you, to see your smile…hear your laugh…I just…" Not knowing why, Jeff reached out his hand, gently taking Trish's face in it, tilting her head up.
'Let me let go, baby
Let me let go
It just isnt right
Ive been two thousand miles
Down a dead-end road
Let me let go, darlin, wont you
I just gotta know, yeah
If this is for the best
Why are you still in my heart
Are you still in my soul
Let me let go'
His body was so close to Trish, that she could smell him. The warmth of his palm on her cheek seemed to make her skin hum at a level that made her heart soar. A single tear spilled from her eyes, trickling its way down her cheek. Gently, Jeff extended his thumb, brushing the tear away. Raising her own hand, Trish rested it on the back of Jeff's. Almost in slow motion, Jeff leaned closer to Trish, his lips desperate to meet hers. Trish's eyes felt heavy as thought weighed down by lead weights, begging to be closed and surrender to this man.
Trish could almost feel his lips on hers when an icy stab of realisation his her stomach. This was not what she wanted. He couldn't just get back into her life like this. Not now. Not after everything. Snapping back from her senses, Trish pushed Jeff back. Not waiting to see his reaction, she broke into a high speed run, vaulting over the banister of the porch, landing in the yard on the other side. Never stopping, Trish continued running around the corner of the house, as far away from Jeff as she could possibly get.
Her feet thudded on the grass of Matt's backyard as Trish fled towards the collection of trees at the back of the house, to the woodland which surround the back of the property. Trish didn't know where she was going, or what she was going to do when she got there. She just had to get away.
'The lights of this strange city are shinin
But they dont hold no fascination for me
I try to find the bright side, baby
But everywhere I look
Everywhere I turn
Youre all I see
Let me, let me let go, baby, wont you
Let me let go
It just isnt right
Ive been two thousand miles
Down a dead-end road'
And at the worst moment possible, he appeared. Of all the people Trish could see right now, Randy Orton had to be the one she least wanted to see. He had heard her coming, and stepped out from behind the tree he had been resting against. Thinking about how Jeff Hardy being here now was at the worst possible time, he had been surprised to see Trish running in is direction.
Randy knew that Trish had seen him, but had made no intention to stop. Lunging forward, He gripped Trish, wrapping his arms around her tiny body, almost dragging himself down in the process.
"Randy…please…not right now…I can't…" Trish voice sounded strained, and Randy saw the tears spilling down her cheeks.
"Trish, its ok, just take it easy." And just like that, Trish broke down, sobbing uncontrollably against Randy's chest. Dropping the bottle of beer he had been holding, Randy pulled Trish closer to him, as he held her against him, gently rocking her trembling body. Softly, Randy ran his hands through her locks of blonde hair, making soft hushing noises to her as he did so. Trish responded, tightening the grip she had around Randy's waist. Finally, she looked up at Randy, her eyes tear streaked at shining.
"I can't do it Randy. I can't cut myself off like you do. It's too much…"
"Hush Trish, its okay. You don't need to explain yourself to me." He soothed, massaging her back.
"How do you do it Randy? Not feel things? How can you be dead to everything all the time?." Randy smiled down at Trish.
"Its easy if you want it bad enough."
Trish tried to return the smile, but the tears renewed their stream down her face as she did so. Planting a gentle kiss on the crown of Trish's head, Randy gently sat down against the tree, still cradling the blonde against his chest as the culmination of sorrow that had built up over three years poured its way from her dark brown eyes.
The sorrow felt too much for her. All the pain Jeff had ever caused her, the hurt she had spent so long trying to overcome had come back to knock her for six, and Trish couldn't cope. All the wanted, all she desperately needed was to feel something…anything but the pain.
Randy wanted nothing more than to smack the shit out of Jeff for hurting Trish. Surprised, Randy looked down at Trish as she moved to straddle him. A look of complete loss overtook his face at he stared at the panting Stratus.
"Trish, what are you -"
Not able to finish the sentence, Randy was cut off by the feeling of Trish lips against his, a forceful kiss that burned against his mouth. Desire overriding his senses, Randy slid his hands down Trish's back, resting beneath of her firm butt, returning the kiss with all the force he had received. Gently taking Trish's bottom lip between his own, Randy sucked slowly, causing to Trish to moan. Taking the advantage, Randy slid his tongue through Trish's parted lips, as his hand eased its way from Trish's ass to the front of her jeans, skilfully unbuttoning them as his tongue explored her mouth.
Trish gripped the back of Randy's head, pulling her lips away as she trailed searing kisses down the expanse of his neck and across his Adam's apple, eliciting a deep groan from Randy, who skilfully worked his fingers into Trish's underwear.
Pulling back, Randy looked into Trish eyes, her brown orbs hazed with tears and lust. His fingers inching further down, Randy looked to Trish for validation. Her bottom lip trembling, Trish pulled herself backwards from Randy, getting back up to her feet, causing Randy to withdraw his hand from the front of her pants. Looking down at herself, Trish carefully rebuttoned her jeans, wiping away a few stray tears lingering on her cheeks.
"I'm sorry Randy. I can't do this." Whispering into the night air, Trish wrapped her arms around herself, before walking away from the still-seated Randy. Heading back towards the house, Trish didn't glance back once at Randy, who was more than confused at what had just happened.
Glancing over his shoulder, he watched as the blonde faded from view into the night air, leaving him very much alone.
'Oh, let me let go, darlin, wont you
I just gotta know
If this is for the best
Why are you still in my heart
Yeah, you're still in my soul, let me let go
Let me let go, let me let go'