Standard disclaimer applies – it isn't mine

Warnings – same as before…if there were some.

Notes – Okay, this is pretty much a filler chapter. It is quite relevant, but some of it seems a little odd. Blame my muse. This chapter is mostly self discovery for Harry and it will be the only time I focus on this particular thing. At the end I have some decisions for you all to make. I hope this chapter is okay but not a lot really happens.

Chapter 14 – The Core Problem

Harry lay awake that evening just staring up at the ceiling. So much had happened over the last few days. Harry had been fearful for Danny's life then for Sirius' then having to take Sirius in and make sure he was safe and happy. Not to mention him and Dudley continuing their lessons but this time everything seemed to be more compact with them learning a lot in a short space of time. Then you had the discovery of Harry's little problem though he supposed he shouldn't call it a problem anymore because it wasn't anything bad.

Harry was worried though. He was different, very different and he was going to Hogwarts soon. Philip said that he drew magic from the world and made his own before his brain had an overload of electrical signals from all the magic becoming restless and the magic had to leave quickly. Well, Harry had been around a few grown up wizards and witches with very mature magic though not especially strong magic. If he could have several fits a week from being around them then how would he cope being at Hogwarts with that suffocating headmaster and all the other children. He'd be having fits every hour!

Harry lay there worrying and turning over on his bed trying to get comfortable to sleep. It never came, he was just too worried. He couldn't go to Hogwarts surely if his magic was this strange. He was twice as strong as most just before a fit and then after a fit he was extremely weak. He drew magic in from everywhere, surely that had to cause a problem. He was like a magnet.

Harry's eyes went wide. A magnet. Some magnets could be turned on and off, electro magnets anyway, so perhaps Harry could turn off his Vis Vires-ness. Harry thought about it for a while longer thinking of all the different ways to control magic through wands and staffs but since he himself was like one of those there had to be another way.

Harry sat up cross legged on the bed and shut his eyes. All wands had a magical core therefore if he was the same as a one he should have a core. Harry didn't stop to think about it much more, he was trying this purely to test his theory.

Concentrating Harry tried to search for his core. It was a strange thing to try because if you didn't concentrate hard enough your mind could go off thinking about other things and Harry got side tracked several times. Eventually though Harry began to go deeper and searching really hard Harry saw a small white light in the darkness that glowed slightly. He didn't try to think why this image came to him because he didn't want to get side tracked again. The white light, as Harry got closer to it, appeared to have a sort of gold sheen to it and sparkles of blue, green and red amongst the gold and white. To Harry it was beautiful but the light was also growing. Other sparkles, like different coloured glitters, were going into the white and gold ball and the ball was growing quite quickly. Harry pulled back least he get swallowed by the growing light. Curiosity winning over slightly though Harry reached out more towards the ball of light and he saw a hand before him as he reached out towards it. The light continued to grow and Harry sharply pulled his hand back as stems seemed to grow off of the light. He wasn't quite fast enough though and the white light touched his hands.

In his bedroom Harry's body suddenly went limp and he fell backwards against the pillows. The usual flicker of the eyeballs behind the eyelids wasn't there and Harry lay perfectly still and unmoving except for the very slow rise and fall of his chest. Around the room the air became suffocating as the air seemed far too thick to breathe in.

Everyone went down to breakfast at separate times as usual but the three boys and Sirius managed to meet up in the kitchen and eat breakfast on the breakfast bar. Everyone was chatting away quite happily and Dudley, once he finished his breakfast, pulled out his wand from his pocket and enlarged a book that was also in his pocket. He grinned very pleased with himself and him and Danny convinced Sirius to help them with one of the prank spells in the book. Sirius agreed after protesting heavily and saying that it was the first day of the holidays and the children should be relaxing not trying to learn spells.

"Come on then." Dudley beckoned for everyone to follow. Danny and Sirius began to follow the blonde boy out but Dudley was locking over his shoulder at Harry. Harry was sat at the breakfast bar dressed in some very light weight white cotton trousers that were held up by the draw string and a thin light green top. He looked very summery but his face was one of concentration. Harry's hair was tied back into a small thick black plait. Harry's eyebrows were drawn in concentration and his bright green eyes unfocused and far away. His breakfast was pretty much untouched and his hand was around a glass of water.

"Harry?" Danny called. There was no answer, not even a change in Harry's posture. "Harry?" Danny stepped closer and reached out giving his brother a small shake. AHrry jumped and fell backwards off the stool he was on.

"Ah!" Harry cried as he lay on the ground. Dudley tried to hide a snicker because whilst it was funny Harry was rarely spaced out like that.

"Are you alright?" Harry blinked then grinned.

"Yeah, sorry, just day dreaming." Sirius laughed and Danny cracked a smile though he was frowning slightly.

"Well I guess you are getting to that age now." Sirius said with a cheeky grin. Harry didn't understand, as was shown by the confused look on his face. Danny and Dudley understood though and they went bright red. Sirius offered Harry a hand up which Harry took. "So, you gonna share or not?"

"Um…I was just thinking about what Philip said last night. That's all." Sirius lost his joking face.

"You okay?"

"Huh?" Harry looked up before letting his face relax into a smile. "Oh yes, I'm fine. It was just quite a lot to take in. I guess it's all finally sinking in. I'm fine though, nothing's wrong with me and it isn't bad. I mean, it can't be bad if I can make a corporal patronus."

"That was brilliant Harry! The way you just did that, shot the bird right out of the wand. It was amazing." Harry grinned as his brother and cousin laughed and joked around everything. Harry joined in the happy chatter and the boys went to look over the book. They all missed the slightly concerned look Sirius gave Harry.

The boys, and Sirius, spent the morning in the garden. Dudley had accio-ed a blanket outside for them all to sit on and they studied the book with their wands out. Sirius said he couldn't use a wand because he didn't have his own so the boys leant him theirs. Dudley's wand made pale blue sparks when Sirius touched it and one spark fell on the blanket and it caught fire. Danny's wand blew up the apply Sirius was trying to turn yellow and make jump around. A meter radius of the ground was also blown up. Danny had quickly snatched his wand back. Sirius tried to refuse to use Harry's wand but Harry pulled puppy eyes on the man so he tried. He then successfully managed to turn the pear purple and make it jump out of the way whenever someone went to pick it up.

"How did you know that was going to work?" Sirius asked frowning at Harry. The boy gave him a grin.

"Well Philip said that I give off magic too and since the wand chooses the wizard you would have had some of my magic from being exposed to me. At least, that was the theory. It would have worked because it works for my magic and you have some of my magic. My wand always worked for Dudley too before he got his own."

"You've been thinking about this haven't you?" Harry shrugged still grinning.

"Only last night and this morning. Not a lot really. It didn't keep me awake at all, I fell straight asleep." Harry kept grinning trying to disarm Sirius' questions. Sirius' frown deepened though. Harry offered him a shrug then went back to attempting other spells. The boys eventually got around to practising the Patronus spell and Danny produced a wonderful stag that Sirius called prongs. Dudley managed to make a white light a few times before Harry told him to pick the time he was first able to do a spell. That memory proved to be strong enough to make a corporal form. The horse bounded across the grass before vanishing and the white light shot back into Dudley's wand. Harry's phoenix circled above them singing a merry tune. Sirius, after much persuading by the boys, made his patronus too. A large dog just like his animagus form.

"Say Siri?" Harry asked.

"Siri? That's my nickname now?" Harry shrugged.

"How did you and Dad become an animagus? How does anyone do it?"

"Well, you are a bit young for this I think." Harry, Danny and Dudley looked at him with bright eyes that made Sirius cave before the boys even turned their stares into tiny child expressions. "Okay fine. Well it's really hard and it takes ages to master."

Sirius reeled off into a long explanation of how they learnt to change. He said it took them weeks of meditation practise before they could find their magical cores and then once they found the cores to reach out and let the magic change them. The magic had to be directed of course and Sirius said the first change his very painful but worth it because you suddenly find yourself as an animal. Sirius said that the dangerous part about the change is that in all the pain and all the magic people can loose their concentration and therefore they only part changed. Part changing is unbelievably dangerous though Sirius wouldn't say why. He also told them that changing back and achieving the animagus forms again were easy. All it took was the will to change and the ability to imagine what you are going to become and you change.

After the explanation the boys were made to promise they wouldn't try it, they were too young. The boys very reluctantly agreed and they all sat in silence just thinking. Eventually it was Harry that broke the silence.

"Sirius, what does your magical core look like?"

"That's an odd question Harry. I never even thought about it before and it was such a long time ago I don't think I'd be able to tell you."

"Oh please Sirius."

"Why do you want to know anyway?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

"Well wands have a core right and we each have a different one that looks different and come from different things. So I just wondered what the wizard's magical core could look like." Sirius frowned before feeling that the answer was an okay one and was more for curiosity than for anything else.

"Well if I remember correctly my magical core was this blob of white. It looked like a glass ball. It stayed still and I remember it sometimes got these few glows of colour in it. Just like a glass ball it was, yeah and it changed colours. That's about it."

"Fair enough. Do you reckon all wizards have a different looking magical core? I mean all wands are different." Danny said.

"I don't know. I never asked James what he found and Peter was rather stupid and couldn't do anything without help. I never thought to ask before."

The boys and Sirius came in for lunch just as it began to rain. After their sandwiches they decided to go practise flying despite the weather. Sirius didn't want to go outside and neither did any of the adults. They said they'd watch from indoors. So the boys got called for their brooms, all of which were updated to Firebolts after Danny had been given his Firebolt from Sirius earlier in the year. The boys flew around not really minding that they were getting soaked to the bone. Danny's glasses were getting on his nerves though and he flew close to Harry and Dudley to tell them. Harry snatched the glasses away and pulled out his wand from his trouser pocket. Muttering the same spell Hermione used in first year Harry handed the water repelling glasses back to his brother. Danny grinned and affectionately rubbed Harry's head making his hair fall out of the plait it had been in. A large game of chase on brooms occurred then and had the boys laughing for ages.

That evening Harry sat clean and warm in the centre of his bed. He was going to do what he did the night before. Harry wasn't convinced, however, that the growing ball of light was his magical core. He'd stolen the book Philip had with the reference to the Vis Vires and had decided that the glowing, growing ball was actually just his magic and that his magical core was inside it somewhere.

Harry concentrated and relaxed his body again. He began searching for his core and soon the white and gold ball was before his eyes. The ball had almost doubled in size since the day before. Harry stopped his digging to watch for a while. He eventually decided that the glitter like lights going into the ball were the bits of magic he was drawing in from the world around, and the people around. Watching a little more, being careful to observe everything Harry noticed that there were more glitters of white going into the ball than any of the other colours and that there were no gold pieces of glitter going into the ball yet the golden glow was growing. Harry made yet another theory based on this. He decided the white pieces of glitter or light were the bits of magic he took from the environment but the coloured pieces were the bits he took from the people.

Harry leaned close to a ruby red piece of glitter and he reached out to touch it hoping that nothing bad happened. The glitter bounced off his fingers and went towards the glowing ball a little faster. Harry though had a large feeling of emotion inside of him and Danny's face flashed before his eyes. Frowning Harry reached out to a little sky blue piece of glitter. Touching it Harry had the same reaction as with the red glitter piece though this time it was Dudley's face the came into his mind. Harry grinned and touched a purple piece of glitter then yellow, green, pale yellow, light pink, shining purple. All the different faces of those at the manor came into his head and Harry almost laughed when he found Sirius' piece of glitter was light pink.

Next Harry turned his eyes to the glowing ball of light. He'd had his fun and now he had to do what he came here to do. He did have to be careful though. Thinking very clearly over and over again that he wanted to find his magical core Harry reached a hand out to touch the glowing ball. Harry felt a surge of magic through his body and something resist his hand. 'I want to find my core, I have to find my core, let me find my core.' Harry pushed against the light and it continued to resist. It was a fruitless effort. Harry pulled back and sighed mentally.

He really wanted to find his core but it had to be inside all that light. The problem was his magic was fighting against him. It was meant to be apart of him not feel like it refused him. Harry didn't want to be refused by his magic, he loved it too much. He loved having his spells to change things and move things. He loved making things too. He loved it all.

Harry blinked with a new resolution. He loved his magic but the reason he was here was so that he could continue to learn magic and not hurt others. Harry reached out his hand again continuing to think clearly that he had to find his magical core. The light continued to resist him and one word came very clear inside Harry's head.

"No." Harry pulled back.

"Please. I want to learn. If I can't learn I can't get better and I can't grow."

"We are growing, all the time." Harry blinked and frowned.

"I know but I don't know it…it's difficult to explain. I see you grow, you are growing all the time but I'm not. I'm staying the same. My magic grows but I can't use all of it because I don't know all of it. It's a bit like knowing a person. You have to talk to them and be around them to understand them and know what's best for them. I know some of my magic, only a little bit of it but not all of it. If I can know it then I can do so much better. I can't love what I don't know."

The white light seemed to glow brighter for a moment and Harry blinked up at it. He felt belittled by it now. It had grown so much but he'd only been here a while. The glow was almost as big as him. He wondered how long he'd been here for.

"We are known." The ting finally seemed to say and Harry shook his head.

"No. If I'm right then you are my magic and other's magic that I take into myself. You are inside me but like a different part of me. I never knew you existed until I found you yesterday. Today I know a little more and I want to know you properly. You are already inside me but now I want you with me all the time as a part of me not just a part inside of me."

"Not all at once." The ball seemed to say and Harry felt himself grinning as he raised a hand to touch it again. Harry felt it resist and harden beneath his hand but he had no want to push into the ball again. Instead he stroked the surface and smiled.

"All at once isn't possible. Getting to know a person takes a while and I know I'm a very big person. There's obviously a lot of me to know." If it was possible as Harry felt himself leaving he heard a gently happy hum and a loving tingling all over.

Okay decisions:

1. Harry's Hogwarts' House. It wopn't be gryffindor or ravenclaw. I can write him in Hufflepuff quite easily now thanks to all the ideas everyone gave me. I can also write him in slytherin, it's all up to you now. This is your last chance to vote.

2. Dudley is going to go to Hogwarts year 4 with Harry. He shall either go into Slytherin orRavenclaw. I don't have a good excuse to put him in slytherin yet but I'm sure I can find one. Leaning towards Ravenclaw though.

3. Animagus'. This chapter was just about Harry trying to get to his magical core. I know I went a bit wierd at the end but it's rellavant I promise. What I need to know is whether HArry and the other boys should have animagus forms. What should they be and what should their nicknames be.

4. The final thing is about reading auras. I read it in a story recently where AHrry could see a persons aura. Now in this I had all the pieces of glitter a different colour and Harry identifying the people the glitter belonged to. Shall I expand on that?

Alright, it's over now. Sorry about all the questions and the filler chapter. It is relavant, I promise. It all has something to do with HArry trying to control his Vis Vires-ness (I have nothing elss to call it at the moment.) Please review and tell me what you think and please don't yell at me too badly. I know it isn't good... Gemxx