I know the gazebo is Lisa's favorite place. She always made it known that her travels have made having a permanent place to call home something she's never really cared for and as long as she had a roof over her head she wasn't too bothered. I had no idea she missed Fairfield so much that she wanted to live here again permanently.

She knows that this will destroy me. As if I wasn't already tortured, all I can see is Lisa and my children, living a life without me in it. I can't have Lisa and my sons living away from me even if it's nearby. It already feels like a piece of my heart is floating away.

The muscles in my shoulders draw taut as Lisa's hand wanders my shoulder, caressing my neck.

"Jack we need to talk."

I turn around to face Lisa. Her face has lost its determination but instead is now filled with concern as she reaches to wipe the tears on my face.

"Jack, what's wrong?"

I move away from Lisa confused.

"Lise you just told me you and our sons will be staying here at Fairfield. You know me better than anyone Lise, you know what it will do to me to be away from all of you. "

"Can we backtrack slightly and have an actual conversation before you jump to any more conclusions."

"Lisa you just said…."

Lisa holds up her hand before leading me to sit on the swing while she walks around the gazebo gathering her thoughts before she places herself next to me on the swing.

"I didn't know you miss Fairfield so much that you wanted to live here again."

"Jack honey I don't want to live here again. This living arrangement with our boys is in view of the fact that number one there is no space at Heartland for them and number two we have to show that we have adequate living space for the boys in order to have any chance of getting any type of custody."

"So this is not you missing the lifestyle you have here and wanting it back."

"No, it isn't. But having said that we need to talk about how we are going to expand the Heartland house."

"Lise…."

"Don't you Lise me. We have three children Jack and if you want us to all be together at Heartland we need to talk about how we're going to expand the house because there is a fair amount to consider."

"Just so I understand you don't want to live here with our sons and away from me."

Lisa takes my face in her hands before training those arctic blues onto me. Her eyes jumped with amusement.

"No you big old fool, I don't want to be away from you."

I close my eyes, and lean into her, resting my forehead against hers bringing my lips to rest on hers in a kiss with all the love that I have for her and all that I have to give.

"We can add three rooms to the house, Lise, in quick time."

"Jack it's not that easy like I said there is a fair amount to consider."

"Is there?"

"Yes, first there can't just be the one bathroom with three more people in the house."

I groan and Lisa rolls her eyes at me.

"You know you should leave the rollin' of your eyes to our children from now on."

"You'd like that wouldn't you."

"Ah…ha."

"We're getting off track here. We need more bathrooms and also you can't just add rooms for the boys because both the girls, Georgie, Katie and Lyndy deserve their own space."

"What are you talking about they have their own space and Georgie is in Florida."

"And when she comes back where is she going to stay, because it's rude to keep lending out the loft when its Tim and Jessica's home."

"Lisa we've always managed the three rooms will be enough."

"This is why I didn't want to bring it up earlier because I know how rigid you are on things and the last thing I want is to fight with you, and believe you me we will when you find out what I want?"

"Why? What do think I'll be opposed to?"

"Chances are you'll opposed to everything."

"Just lay it all out on the table for me Lise."

I can see the gears in her head working overtime as she stop-starts a dozen times before sighing and getting up to lean against the gazebo pillar that faces the vastness of Fairfield's forest lands.

I let a good few minutes pass by before joining her. I pull Lisa into my chest wrapping my arms around her from behind.

"We've always been able to talk about things, Lise. Why is this any different?"

"Because I know you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you definitely won't like what I have in mind and that worries me because it's something I know I need."

"Just tell me, Lise."

"I know the ranch house has largely been the way it is now with a few additions that you loathed to make."

I chuckle at her observation.

"True."

"You know what I love about the ranch house it is how you all are there for each other you all make it a home. Especially you, you would give the shirt off your back or the last morsel of food to someone if they needed it without a second thought and your table is always open to those who need it. A home was something foreign to me and yes I have houses, plenty of them but a home that's something I've never had until you."

Lisa stops taking a deep breath but I can feel her body deflate as she moves out of my arms.

"You know sometimes I can almost forget all the differences between us. But now that we have children together it's going to be much harder for us to manage those differences."

"We will manage Lise, we always have?"

"I don't think so Jack, I'm pretty sure what I want and what you expect to happen are on opposite spectrums."

"We want a home for our children Lisa where you and I are both there. I don't see the problem."

"The problem will be in how I want our home to be. I don't think you'll want any of it and that scares me because I don't think I can be what you want me to be. I don't think I can do this."

Before I process anything she's taken off towards the house. I want to reach out and run after her, but I don't.

I want to ask her what she means by that, but I don't.

My mind wanders and thinks about the last few hours, about what happened today, and if there is any way for us to move forward together.

Thank you for reading and all the DMs.

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