Work over the next couple of months is amazing. I'm working on wrapping up the very last video and I think everyone is dancing fantastically, because I'm dancing fantastically, because I'm happy. Emotions really rub off on the people you work with.

"Are we in a good mood yet again today, Mush?" The singer, who goes by some ridiculous stage name that I can't remember but whose real name is Lisa, comes up to me, smiling.

"We are indeed." I'm checking my voicemails and drinking a bottle of water while I'm on break, much like pretty much everyone else on the set. "We are very excited, in fact."

"That whole baby thing, huh?" Lisa smiles and sits down next to me. I nod. "How long do you have to go now?"

"Just under three months. Due date's the eleventh of April."

"Boy or girl?" She steals my bottle of water and takes a swig before I can protest.

"We don't know... we're secretly kind of hoping for a girl, though." I take my bottle back from her and sigh at its now nearly-empty state.

"Mama excited?"

"Mama's a surrogate." I smile. "My partner and I are barely staying in our seats, though."

"Oh, that's right, your partner." She giggles. "You're so damned good-looking I forgot you were a flamer."

I roll my eyes and shove her playfully. She shrieks and I shush her as another of my voicemails plays.

"Jason, um, hi. This is Jenny." Her voice sounds shaky and scared. "Um, I... I need to talk to you and Zach about something. It's, uh, it's kind of important, so could you maybe call me back or, like, maybe stop by when you get off work or something? Thanks. Um, bye."

I blink. Eight different kinds of terror are coursing through my body. "Lisa, I'm gonna have to talk to you later." I grab my keys and head out to the car while calling Blink.

"Hey, baby, what's going on?" Blink's voice is chipper and sweet.

"I'm on my way to the theatre."

"Why? Mush, what's wrong?"

"I got a call from Jenny. She said she needed to talk to us, and she sounded upset... I think something might be wrong with the baby."

"Well, hurry up then!"

I turn a corner, biting my lip. "I'm about a block and a half from the theatre. Meet me outside?"

"Yeah." Blink yells something to whoever happens to be in charge today, and I hear a rustling as he collects his things before the line goes dead. I pull up in front of the theatre and Blink jumps in the passenger side of the car, and we head over to Jenny's house.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Jason? Zach? What are you two doing here?" Jenny's mom opens the door after our frantic pounding, and is obviously surprised to see us.

"Is Jenny here?" I loosen my collar a little.

"Yeah, she's up in her room... Is everything okay?"

"She called us and said she needed to talk to us about something... is... can we see her?"

"Uh, sure." She steps aside. "Go on upstairs. First door on the left. I'd call her down, but I don't want her going up and down the stairs more than she has to."

Blink and I hurry up the stairs and knock on Jenny's bedroom door. "Come in." We open the door and step in to find her laying on her bed, reading a magazine. "Oh, hey, guys," she says, pushing herself up into a sitting position."

"What's going on? Is the baby okay?" I'm in a panic. I can't help it. That's my child in there.

Jenny puts a hand on her protruding belly. "The baby's fine. I just... I need to talk to you guys about something." She gestures to a little futon against the wall. "Sit down."

We obey and we perch on the edge of the futon, staring intently at her. "So... what's going on?"

Jenny sighs and looks down at her stomach, rubbing it a little. "I've been thinking."

"A dangerous pastime for all parties involved, I must say." Blink always makes jokes when he's nervous.

She smiles, but it fades quickly. "Um... see... I know you guys are really excited, and you're really looking forward to this baby and you're all ready and stuff..."

"Do you need something?" I'm reaching for my checkbook already.

"No... no, that's not it." She pushes her hair out of her face. "See, I've been thinking and it's occurred to me that there's... there's another little person growing inside me. I'm its mother. And I've been thinking about how I'd feel if my mom didn't want me and was willing to just give me up to a couple of total strangers."

Uh-oh. I blink, trying to swallow the hard lump in my throat. "We're... we're not total strangers. You know us. Hell, you ran a police check on us."

"That's not the point, Jason." Jenny sighs again and shakes her head. "I just... I just don't think I want to give this baby up."

"But..." Blink is staring at her. "But you said you couldn't afford a baby. And that you couldn't live with the reminder of what happened to you."

"That was before I felt like I knew the baby. I tried so hard not to get attached, but you try having something growing in you for twenty-seven weeks and not being attached to it." Her hand is still resting protectively on her stomach. "I love this baby, guys. I just don't think I can let go. I can't. I'm sorry."

"But we've already bought stuff for it. We have a room ready for it." I put my face in my hands and shake my head.

Blink puts his hand between my shoulderblades. "Where are you going to live? How are you going to support yourself and a baby? Do you know how much babies cost?"

"I'll figure something out."

"You've got to pay for the hospital stay, and buy furniture, and clothes and toys, and formula, and bottles, and diapers. Diapers are expensive, and you go through a lot every week. Plus, you don't have room in this house for an extra person, even if they are little. Where are you gonna live? How will you pay for a place?"

"Zach, I said I'd figure something out. I'll get a job or something."

"You're a child, Jenny! You're seventeen years old! You haven't even finished high school. How are you going to do that, and hold down a job, and take care of a baby?" Blink's face is turning that shade of red it gets whenever he's angry. "Have you really even thought this out at all?"

"Look, I know you're angry, but please stop yelling at me." Tears are shining in her eyes, and she's now wrapped both arms around her belly.

"All you've got is some lofty, head-in-the-clouds dream about your perfect world as the perfect mommy with your perfect baby. You need to take a look around you, Jenny. You won't be able to make it."

"Blink, let's just go." I stand up and grab his hand. "Let's just go home."

"I suggest you really stop and think about what you're doing, Jenny. Not just to yourself or to us, but what you're doing to that baby. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into." Blink gets up and storms out, dragging me along behind him.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

I can't sleep. I find myself wandering around the apartment in the middle of the night, straightening things, washing dishes that are already clean, cleaning the bathrooms. I've been doing this for the past couple of weeks, "nesting," as my mom calls it, but now it's not out of wanting to be ready for the baby. Now it's just busywork.

I find myself standing in the middle of what used to be my office at three in the morning. What used to be simple, clean white and full of a professional-looking, sleek desk and chair and bookcases with books on Bob Fosse and the like, is now painted light blue with fluffy white clouds, with a rocking chair in a corner opposite a white crib. There's a sweet little black-and-white mobile hanging, and the changing table in the corner with the diapers and wipes and onesies and all that stuff already stacked on the shelves. I take it all in, the faint, lingering scent of paint mixing with baby powder and wood from the furniture. Suddenly, I find myself sitting cross-legged on the floor, my head in my hands, my shoulders heaving.

All I ever wanted was this child. And I was so close.