Good evening. I agree. I agree because I can't take it anymore. I agree because I feel like a flushed loo. By the way, I am a Loo. Really! And I'm dirty and broken and frustrated too. I'm very unsatisfied with my uncomfortable position, right on top of the Chamber of Secrets, that stinking snobbish bitch who always sends me threateng messages through the pipes. Just like every room who's involved in this petition, I am very discriminated. I am a Girls Restroom, but I haven't seen one in ages. Just think when I was young I used to host groups of twenty per trip…But then She arrived. That Moaning Myrtle Jerk has thought "Let's die here!" and started haunting me. No girl has ever come back to me, as She is a nerd, oh so nerd….How to explain…oh yes, just like Sandra Dee.
Anyway now I'm useless. That bleeding ghost keeps wrecking the pipes and splashing water everywhere. Always, each and every day she daoes something that gets on my flushed nerves. I complain because they deceive me! Lately I was under the impression to have become a Boys Restroom. No one has thought about telling me about the change, and now I'm full of machos who hang around in me. And now I'm also a Potions Restroom! All of a sudden, I am full of potions. But not simple potions, but very cool ones! If I tell you you won't believe me…POLIJUICE POTION! When I told Broom Closet and Dovecot they looked at me eith eyes as wide as a crystal ball! They started some years ago…some day a girl gets in and I, delighted, think: "Wow, I'm not useless anymore!". Then two dull looking boys enter the scene. At first I thought they wanted to go to Broom Closet….no biggie. They put a cauldron on a loo and they throw some random stuff in it. "I DO hope they won't eat what they're cooking, It's been 54 years since they last cleaned me…". The thing went on for like three months. Then they transformed into someone else and I've never seen them again. Well, sometimes the glasses boy popped in.
… hang on…OH NO! It's a message from the Chamber of Secrets…if you want, I'll read it:
"You stink! I can't even breath! Get a good washing up or I'll have you destroyed, got it?"
THERE! As if it's my fault. Is Myrtle's, eho likes throwing stinking bombs in the loos. I think she's in love…you know, lately we have such a drama queen…always crying. Mind you, I'm not complaining, he's a beautiful boy, a blondie… but he, too, is here to make that Polijuice Potuin. Maybe I'll ask Dumbledore to change my job…
And why don't we talk about that crazy boy? It was 50 years ago, it was him who put Myrtle in me, him and his Pureblood-are-the-best ideas. Please. We all know you're not one, anyway…
Let me do my job. You can't immagine how much the sixth floor Restroom teases me. And what about the Prefects Restroom? Those bastards, always thinking they're the best. Why no one tells them that the prefects' crap is just like Filch's?
Please sign, the battle is not over yet!