Disclaimer: I'm still borrowing the characters. They have had a nice time. Especially Greg, I think he suspects I like him best.
A/N: Chapter 2 – I know where I want to end up and hopefully this will help me get there.
Through this world I've stumbled so many times betrayed, trying to find an honest word, to find the truth enslaved. Sarah McLachlan, "Possession"
Chapter Two – The Fight
Her hands gripped the steering wheel of car a little too tightly leaving rubber impressions across her palms. When she first got into the car she had been so angry that she had only driven a couple blocks away from the lab and then pulled over to gain her composure. She didn't want to get into an accident because her eyes were too full of tears to see the traffic. By the time she had calmed down, well she actually hadn't calmed down, but she was able to drive over to the townhouse and actually pay attention to the road while doing so. The two bags she had packed were now in the trunk of her car. She had left him a note. After all that happened, it was the least he deserved. She took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. Maybe now she could look back on it all with a little perspective. Maybe.
It really had been his entire fault. She sighed again. No, she could admit that her bad mood had probably been the start of it all. But who could blame her? If anyone else had received a letter like that, well, would they have even come into work?
She had been so distracted she had almost forgot the assignments on Grissom's desk, and then she came this close to knocking Greg and his cup of coffee over. Greg had been more worried about his cup of coffee about to be spilled than the preoccupation written across her face.
She reached over and turned the dial on the radio until she found a song she liked.
She hadn't meant to pick a fight with Catherine over who should be handing out the assignments. Her and Catherine usually got along. But sometimes she was jealous of the friendship Catherine had developed with Grissom. And, she hated to admit this, even to herself, but Catherine was stronger than she was. She could probably beat Catherine in a contest over intellect, and they both were raised in unconventional families, but deep down she knew that she would break before Catherine when it came to her emotions. So when Catherine had hit one of her buttons, she wished that she didn't have to lie about why she was the one handing out the assignments.
She didn't think she was ready to stop sneaking around everyone's backs, but she also hated the deception. Sometimes she wondered about the ability of her co-workers. They were supposed to be some of the best CSIs in the country, could they not see she was hiding something? She had briefly imagined the look on Catherine's face when she explained that Grissom had asked her to hand out the assignments because he was running behind in his packing, and that the reason he still had packing to do was that she had threw his suitcase off the bed, spilling the contents across the floor, right before she threw him on the bed. That might be a little too much information for the team. Instead, she mumbled something about calling him about something work related and he had just asked her to help out. It sounded lame. It's probably why she ended up in the lab for the evening and not out in the field.
If only she had been on a case. She wouldn't have snapped at Greg for flirting with her. She wouldn't have made the snide remarks to Warrick about his gambling problem and his shaky marriage. She definitely would not have bit Nick's head off about having to be the one that processed the car he brought back to the garage.
By the time Grissom showed up at the lab to pick up the last of the materials he needed for his presentation she was geared for a fight. He had called her into the office to say goodbye. To go over the plan for her to catch the next flight out and meet up with him, and to maybe steal a kiss behind the closed door. She shook her head. She never had the guts in all this time to touch him in any way at the lab. Too many glass walls and prying eyes. He had made some innocent comment about how her evening was going so far. The pressure of the secrecy, the letter, the tension between her and the other members of the team, and her pounding head had all come together at that point.
She winced at the memory. It was definitely her fault. She was tempted to turn the car around and apologize to him before he got on the plane. Had she really told him everything that had been on her mind? How she hated that he had asked her to report on Warrick on both the Holly Gribbs case and his gambling problems. How she and Nick were closer friends before they competed over the lead CSI position, why had he placed them in that situation? How he talked to Catherine about how he was doing after a tough case more than he did with her, even know that they were together. How he would get jealous over her interactions with Greg. Her voice had started out low and serious. But by the time she started thinking about how, even now, he would rather hand out cryptic phrases and puzzling quotes than just tell her his feelings for her, she was having trouble not screaming. She ended up storming out of his office, slamming the door behind her, and ran for the car before she started crying. It all seemed overly dramatic and over the top now. But then? At that moment?
She shook her head again continued to drive away from Vegas and towards California. Towards the ocean, the memories, and the reason she had been fighting in the first place. Fighting with herself and her feelings. She needed to face her demons. She hoped she could survive the consequences of opening her Pandora's box. She had avoided this for six years. It was time to go home.
Just wanted to say thanks to those who have been reading - including nightblight, Skleton, Iamcsi, Salyards, blujolteone, and odeepblue. Reviews are appreciated.