Free Talk:
This story is definitely going in the direction I want it to and I'm pretty much set for the rest of the story. Thank you for all your reviews, I love to get them it lets me know if I'm doing a good job or a bad job Oh and I discovered that a lot of my grammar errors are due to when I change the writing format to HTML…I've learned it's not me! …Well some are probably still due to me but all in all I feel a little better about myself.
Never Will We Be That Wonderful: Chapter 4
When I got inside I peeked out the window and watched as Darien's Z71 backed out the drive way. Here's a small confession I've had boyfriends as you already know, but not one of them has touched me like that boy has. It's true I'm not innocent in the kissing department in fact I've been told I'm horrible, which is why my lip will quiver every time I kiss someone. Something nags at me though, I feel the person who just let Darien kiss her wasn't me. If it was me than I would have pulled away and yelled 'Stop it you're Raye's, fuck off!' but I didn't I let it happen. It was a secret desire that I never thought would ever happen and now the repercussion that could come of it, what if this was a big joke and he goes and tells Raye that I kissed him? It wouldn't be true but she's so insecure that she would believe anything he said.
Raye and I are friends yes, but I believe it's more or less because we feel we have to. She chooses everybody before me, even Minako her mortal enemy. I'm so fake around her too I do things and say things because she does, I'm too afraid to stand up to her and if she ever laughed at me for something everyone else would make fun of me for it too. I used to like to paint but Raye told me my style of painting wasn't very good, so I quit and was afraid to show anyone anything I used to paint afraid of what they would say. If she was a true friend she would have encouraged me to strengthen my skill, even if she thought there was no way I could become good.
"Serena? How did the date go?" Inquired my mom as she peeked into my bedroom, I suppose she's frightened that I'll be laying here naked again.
"It was fine the dinner was good," I called back in reply, unaware that she had stepped into the bedroom at this point.
"I saw you came home with the tall dark and handsome man from before, not the scruffy cowboy," smiled my mom while touching her hand to my forehead.
"Your point?" I asked almost rudely.
"I saw you kiss him, is there any way this boy might become someone you're serious about?" she asked sincerely. Wow she sounds super hopeful, wait she saw us kiss.
"Mother, if there is one thing I ask of you now it is this do not tell anyone you saw me kiss him," I whispered in a panic, bolting right up in my bed too look at her.
"Why?" She interrogated me.
"He's…Well…Seeing someone.." I bit my lip knowing the response that was to come of this. She stood up and got off my bed, here it comes.
"You're playing with fire you know that? If you come home with a black eye and a broken rib do not come crying to me I will not support your decision," she said firmly and headed out the door in an almost angry stomp.
This was also a lie, if I came home with a black eye and broken rib she'd rush me to emergency than go and find who did and beat them with my little brother's baseball bat. Seems a lot of people are lying to me these days.
Monday at school…
What was I expecting? To hear a rumor that Darien and Raye had broken up and that he was seeking the timid Serena? Or was it that I was expecting to hear that Darien cheated on Raye with Serena? Either way I felt awkward being there and everyone knows if you feel awkward chances are you look awkward, not only that but guilt was written all over my face. Maybe it was just a dream. Couldn't have been for when I touch my lips I still feel the magic.
"Serena how was your weekend?" Asked Minako as she approached me from behind.
"Oh you know the usual pretty dull," I replied and gave a little giggle after it, again making me look even more awkward than I already felt.
"Oh you know what I'm talking about, did he kiss you?" Laughed Minako. Oh god she knows, she must have saw it was the nosey waiter!
"Well…Well…He…" I sputtered and tried to say something but than she cut me off.
"I'm just bugging, it's okay the whole school knows already you don't need to make up excuses about it we don't care," She smiled while putting her arm around my shoulders and started to lead me down the hallway. They couldn't I would be shred if they actually knew. Chad! They're talking about Chad, Darien must have kept his mouth shut good than I will too.
"Ya well as it turned out I just like him as a friend and that's all we'll remain," I replied casually, now realizing the big mistake I made I can be more at ease, not so paranoid.
"Serena can I talk to you?" questioned a deep voice from behind me, a voice that I've been thinking about since that night where we kissed several times.
"Sure," I replied than left Minako standing there alone. This conversation I could already tell was not for her ears.
"Can I stop by after school I need to speak with you," He stated, rather than asked.
"Ya I don't mind, what do you need to talk to me about?" I inquired while leaning against the wall.
"This," was all he said as he sped off down the hallway.
As Confused as I was at to what he was talking about the day went by fairly quickly, and no one was the wiser about our little escapade. Perhaps I'm making far to much of a big deal out of it, but I feel as if it meant something. I always feel that there are hidden meanings in people which I suppose isn't a good quality. Mystery is what eludes most things I think about including the people around me, just look at Raye I don't know who she is or Amy or Lita. There are some friends who I can connect with and others I can't unfortunately the people I am friends with are those who I find most difficult to connect with.
In Kindergarten I made this friend her name is Naru, her and I would do everything together but as time passed by I did a horrible thing, because Raye and the others didn't really connect with Naru she was cut from the group. I still love her as a best friend to this day and she considers me the same but we never talk or hang out because I know what Raye will say. This is probably the most horrible thing I've don't in my entire life and I regret it but I feel helpless as to fix it.
After School…
"Serena there's a young man here to see you!" Called my mom from upstairs in an almost angry tone. I knew who it was, it had to be Darien my mom didn't like me seeing him because he was going out with someone else. If she knew it was Raye she would make sure we never talked again in our entire lives.
"Hey," I said calmly while inviting him upstairs to my bedroom, if my father was home he would never let Darien get near the stairs but because my dad is away he's allowed.
"What is it that you need to talk about?" I asked while eyeing him curiously. He looked uneasy in my bedroom, almost nervous. It's not like we were going to go have sex I'm not a slut in fact I'm physically incapable of it.
"Do you like me more than a friend?" He asked giving me this intense look with his hopeless loosing pools of dark blue.
"Why?" I asked, I'm trapped I have no idea do I tell him or will it back fire on me?
"Because I think you need to know that I have no interest in you what so ever in that way, yes I like kissing you but so what were not going to be anything more than friends. I'm with Raye and that's not going to change I like being with her, there was absolutely no hidden meaning in kissing you before I just like to kiss you that's all there is," he explained rather flatly.
So that was it, there really was no romantic connection he just wanted a good kiss, an innocent kiss. I feel robbed of something I thought I had, something that I thought would be there. I can't let this emotion show, if I do he'll know I like him and he'll know everything by that one face I know I will make.
"I don't like you that way Darien, and if you thought I did you were sorely mistaken. I like kissing you too but I would never get on Raye's bad side by liking her boyfriend, I'm not an idiot," I finished.
"Hold on, I'm sorry if I sound conceited talking to you like this but Raye also thinks you like me," He cut in.
Hold on, did he just say Raye knows? However if Raye knows than I'm wondering why she hasn't approached me about it.
"Now not that it's a big deal but why would she think that? She's wrong," I added quickly.
"When we first started dating she told me you tend to like her boyfriends because they're friendly and you don't have much contact with the opposite sex," He explained casually.
Casual, he was just saying this as if it wasn't a big deal and yet here I am with no reply. As much as I hate to admit it, it's true I do tend to like Raye's boyfriends and not just Raye's but almost all my friend's boyfriends. I probably sound horrible but it's not like I went and stole them I just developed a weak attraction to them, except for Darien I full heartedly like him. Unlike most people Raye dates sweet, smart and attractive guys the three qualities I tend to like. Most girls tend to like that about guys or so I've come to notice over the past few years, it's probably really unfair and judgmental and it's not like it's a requirement to date us ladies because face it no one goes by what they like we can't be that picky and if you are than you'll miss out on a lot of great people. Raye will only date guys who have shallowness to match her own.
"That's true, but in this case it's different," I replied, what else could I say I couldn't very well lie to the boy he'd see right through me.
"How is it different? I'm sorry this seems so conceited and perhaps as if I'm lying to your face in which I'm not but I don't even know I think I should go," He said while giving me the most intense stare across the room.
"I think you should also, no offence but you're treating me like I'm nine and I have self decency too thank you very much. I am not someone you can just kiss anytime you want, that's not my personality so do me a favor and leave me alone," I replied. That was the most random response but it was the type of random that saves your ass in certain situations. Like right now for example that was probably a 'girl power moment' as Lita would call them, Lita is an active feminist and loves to say things in favor of women.
"You said it yourself though you like kissing me so what's the big deal?" He asked moving his head close to my face. I slowly pressed my fingertips to his lips.
"It is a big deal, you're kissing someone who you have no attraction to," I said looking rather displeased with him, hoping he would take my lies as an incentive.
"Doing this though…" He removed my fingertips from his mouth. "Makes me want you even more though," He pushed his lips forcefully onto mine, and being me I didn't deny them like I had wanted to. He continued to coax me to open my mouth so our tongues could meet, 'Lord Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil…' I thought as my mouth parted and he slipped his tongue into mine, we were entwined my hands were running through his hair his hands were slowly moving to rest on my hips, at this point I was sitting upon his lap. I could not let myself loose control like this, I was in the drivers seat he was merely a passenger giving me directions.
"Stop," I mumbled through kisses as his mouth reached my neck and he planted butterfly kisses along it. I just discovered my weak spot, my neck every kiss he planted there made me want to do everything in my power to make him mine.
"This has to stop," I pulled away and looked deep into his eyes.
"Why?" asked Darien giving me the most sad eyes I'd ever seen.
"Because you're doing this to me and if you're not wanting me to like you than you're doing a pretty bad job," I answered, I could feel my lips curling into a pout.
"You do like me don't you?" He asked sincerely.
"What the fuck are you two doing?" Shouted a voice from the door, I turned to see Minako standing there. Here I was practically straddling Darien with lip stick smeared on my mouth, there was no way out of this one.
"Shit," was all Darien could let escape his lips. I slowly slipped off Darien's lap and motioned for Minako to come sit down for there was much to discuss.
"Holy shit would Raye be sooo pissed with you two, it would be so funny!" laughed Minako, I wasn't completely worried when it was her who entered my bedroom because I know she and Raye have an on going feud and for her to know this little secret would make her feel all the more powerful against her.
"So you're not going to say anything?" questioned Darien.
"No, however does this mean that there is something going on between you two? To think Raye was just saying the other day that she's never felt threatened by you likeing all her boyfriends because she never thought you could do anything, you sure showed her," smiled Minako, she than turned to Darien who was sitting at the window.
"There's nothing going on between Serena and I we merely just like to make-out that's it," He replied firmly. "I like Raye but she lacks a certain quality that Serena has when kissing,"
"Oh and what is that quality that you need so bad to be practically using Serena for?" retorted Minako, she never could stay out of affairs concerning my well being.
"I'm not using her, if I was it would have only been a one time thing before I told her to move onto someone else," he snapped back.
"Innocence," I replied to Minako's actual question. He was getting quite touchy about using me, maybe I am being used. I never really thought about it like that, I mean I know that he doesn't like me and he just liked to get his 'high' off me but I never actually conceived it as being "used" That's just not what I referred to it as. If I am being used than wouldn't I be avoiding him at all costs not beating around the bush as it were and telling him no while thinking yes? If anyone is being used here I think it's him.
Free Talk:
I hope this chapter is satisfying for you all, I'm not sure if it's long enough at all. But yes that's my grammar error with the whole converting to HTML. So I'm sorry for the inconvenience and distraction my horrible grammar causes but I hope you will be patient with it. Thanks please leave me your comments and reviews!