Free talk:
There once was this young girl who partook in a biology course, the course was very difficult but she managed to pass the horrible tough midterm with a high score due to ignoring everyone and everything around her for a couple of weeks! The End.ß that is why this chapter took so long to come out.
Never Will We be that Wonderful: Chapter 5
I was just coming up the stairs with drinks for us all when I heard in a hushed down voice Minako speaking to Darien.
"You don't understand this do you? You like her and you can't even admit it to yourself!" She chastised.
"There is no attraction, sure she's pretty and ya what ever she's a great kisser but there is no way that I would ever go out with her!" He shot back in a stern voice.
Pretty that godforsaken word, many a times have I been called "pretty" I still hate the word. When it's said about me I'm not sure whether to smile as if it were a compliment or shriek because I'm offended. I love the girls who I tell this discovery of mine too their answers are always the same, 'Wow the guys you know are dishonest, all the ones I know give real opinions,' if they actually listened and watch the facial expression of the guys they know they'd discover I'm right.
"You just don't get it do you? She's going to fall for you if she hasn't already and than you'll go on your merry little way with Raye and forget all about little innocent Serena. If you so much as come close to breaking her heart I will report you to Raye and I will tell her you forced yourself on her and that she was an object of your abuse, and don't think I won't," threatened Minako.
"I won't hurt her, besides you heard her yourself she doesn't like me that way," stated Darien. Idiot, anyone else would realize that I was lying.
"Arrrghhh! You're so stupid you know that!" shouted Minako.
"Okay okay I get the message, here how about this; if I break Serena's heart than you have full permission to not only tell Raye what ever the hell you want but you can also come and kick me in the balls. How about it?" offered Darien.
"I know underneath it all you're a nice guy, even Raye hasn't seen that. I swear she just thinks you're using her for sex," laughed Minako, not like it wasn't true.
Ever since Raye had sex for the first time, it's sad but most guys she's dated were in it for the sex. Her personality isn't that great, but she never complained once that a guy was using her for sex; I think it's because she enjoyed it just about as much as they did. If she didn't enjoy it the relationship would be short lived and over within a few weeks. Sadly most would call her a slut; however I respect her more than most nonvirgin girls, reason being is that Raye refuses to have sex right away this guy has to really mean something too her before she'll sleep with them. I believe if I was to have intercourse I would be the same way, I consider this one of her more admiring qualities.
"I brought the lemonade," I smiled while entering the room and placing the drinks on my table.
"Oh thanks Serena, you're such a sweetie," giggled Minako while taking a big gulp of my home made lemonade.
"Ya, uh thanks," Said Darien rather flatly as he downed the whole glass in less than a few seconds. "So I better be going I uh… Have a date with Raye I'll see you two tomorrow at school,"
Me and Minako both watched as he practically booted it out the door and down the stairs, I could just barely hear a 'thank you for having me' to my mom as the door slammed shut.
"Serena do you know what you're doing?" asked Minako, smacking me out of my trance.
"No," I laughed, in all honesty what was I doing? I was making out with my best friends boyfriend and fantasizing about something that will never happen. Oh not to mention that now I'm contemplating the idea of him and I sleeping together.
"Serena you are aware that you're messing with fire, and when you mess with fire you get burned!" She lectured.
"I know it's not like I'm stupid, but for some reason having him attracted to me even in this small amount makes me feel…" I dragged on almost being to shy to say what I had to.
"Makes you feel…" Minako continued on for me.
"Beautiful," I smiled, it was a smile that told her all she had to know. By that curve of my lips she learned that not only did I like Darien but he made me feel good about myself and that I didn't care if Raye no longer wanted to be my friend.
"He makes you feel beautiful, Serena what is beautiful anyways?" she inquired. Like she needed to be told what beautiful was, she had been scouted by models since she was in grade two. She's been the envy of all her friends for years and she's asking me what beautiful is?
"I think the definition of beautiful is different for everyone, I define it as someone who can turn heads and has the self esteem to wear a skimpy bikini no matter what their weight or skin condition," I bit my lip as I paused, speaking about this almost makes me cry every time. "Beautiful is thinking you're flawless, even if you're not…Beautiful is what I was never called and even now I doubt I'll ever be called beautiful. Being with him though, the hottest guy I've ever met makes me feel like I am beautiful and go ahead Minako call me stupid, but that's because you're so used to being beautiful that you don't take notice of those around you, and why I've never been noticed unless I have something interesting to say," by this point I could feel the tears welling up and the whining come to my voice, I just basically told my best friend that she was inconsiderate of others when all she wants to do is help me.
"Serena, I love you like a sister and you should know by now that I notice you all the time! You seem so happy and yet your speech leads you to look depressed. If you're so depressed than why don't you ever say anything? You come out with us all the time and boys ask you for your number," she explained, I know she was trying to help and ya some of what she was saying was true boys ask for my number occasionally but not nearly as often as all of my other friends. I should probably apologize, it seems at the present time that my judgment isn't that great.
"I'm sorry, you're the best friend I could ever ask for, I'm just acting melancholy lately. I'm depressed I'm just scared that if people found out about me and Darien they wouldn't understand and make assumptions that I'm being used," I exclaimed.
"I've been meaning to mention that to you, don't you feel like you're being used?" asked Minako.
"Not at all, what no one understands is that without my consent he couldn't kiss me no matter how hard he tried. It's so weird Minako, my voice will say no and yet my head is screaming yes at me. Its similar to a 'good Serena angel' and a 'bad Serena devil' my voice going with my head the good Serena and yet my body goes with the devil and in the end I just give in. I like him Minako and I wish I didn't it's the last thing I want," I confessed.
"I know you do, you always like her boyfriends. I'm going to let you in on a little secret though Serena, almost every guy you have ever liked has liked you in return you just never found out about it," she smiled, I couldn't tell if she was lying or telling the truth. Either way it sort of frightened me.
"You're lying, it's not cool to lie to me about such a sensitive subject," I answered, almost as if I myself had been joking.
"No it's true, I've had many confess to me. Haven't you noticed that the guys Raye goes out with and I become good friends? We do stay that way even when they break up. For instance do you remember Ryoki? What am I talking about of course you do, anyways Ryoki told you he didn't like you when him and Raye broke up, the next night him and I were chatting on msn when he confesses that he had quite an attraction to you but thought that because he had been Raye it would create waves in your friendship. True story whether you believe me or not," she explained cheerfully.
"You're kidding me? I was after Ryoki for months! Why did he like me?" I questioned, this is something that scares me. I can never figure out why guys like me, I'm not the most gorgeous girl in the world and my personality some times resembles a space cadet because I'm never hear on Earth.
"He said there was just something about the way you talked that he liked, he loved how you were always so nice and friendly to everyone even those he knew you didn't care for," She answered, it was almost as if this information had been building up in her and she just wanted to burst by telling me it all.
"And why were you not going to tell me this? Just out of curiosity of course," I asked, I was feeling giddy now like I always do after receiving such good information.
"Oh I don't know I just didn't feel you needed to know, but maybe you have a manipulative friendly personality. I think all you need to do is set your goal, no matter how impossible (he) may seem. Tell yourself that you're beautiful everyday and remind yourself why, 'cause if you don't I will. Third tell that goal of yours that you like him," Minako stood up and gave me her most optimistic look ever, she always told me my self-esteem needed uplifting.
"I'll do it, I'll get Darien Chiba if it's the last thing I do. However there will be one rule, I will not get in the way of him and Raye," I smiled. Minako's happy face vanished.
"How do you plan to get Darien but not get in the way of him and Raye?" She pondered out loud.
"Easy, I secretly use my manipulative flirting to get him to fall for me and leave Raye all on his own," I giggled, this was such a lie hopefully she would realize this.
"Brilliant it's fool proof!" Minako answered excited. I never knew she was that dense.
"Wow I never knew you were that dense, this plan could never work! I'm physically incapable of seducing! I'm a butter face!" I shot back at her, not in an angry tone of course.
"A what? Did you just butter face?" She laughed.
"You've never heard that term? Butter face, everything's hot but-her-face. In other words she's got a killer body but ugly face, guess you wouldn't be called it hence the reason you've never heard it," I explained, stupid me Minako would never be called this. Than again I myself have never been called this either thank God, I find it degrading all the names guys come up with for women. Lita agrees with me.
The Next Day…
"Serena!" I heard my name being called from down the hallway, I turned to see Raye standing there looking quite happy to see me, oh the irony.
"Hey Raye, how's it going?" I asked, try to be as friendly as possible you're doing a very bad thing behind her back.
"Good, want to do something today?" She asked happily. Not really, I'll probably end up spilling all my secrets to you and letting you know that you're boyfriend and I make out all the time, but that would be mean to say no now wouldn't it.
"Sure, what do you want to do?" I replied while opening my locker.
"Want to come over to my house?" She questioned while handing me a sucker from her bag, she was already licking hers.
"Thanks, and yeah sure that would be great," I smiled back and unwrapped the sucker and popped it into my mouth.
"Sweet see you at lunch than bye bye," with that she walked off down the hallway to where some girls who had taken an interest in her leaned against their lockers.
Lately Raye had become the attention of everyone, all the girls always liked her and admired her because she was so pretty and ever since she started dating Darien she became the envy of them all. Our table still remained us six only though no outsiders, unless of course to Lita and Ami's delight Darien's friends decided to sit with us also. Come to think of it though any girl who goes out with Darien Chiba becomes the top bitch in this pack of dogs, to be honest he's never dated the cutesy innocent type girls like me.
It's funny watching couples hold hands, even my old best friend Naru has a boyfriend, he's a nice guy despite what others would say about him. I miss her sometimes so much, I see her now walking hand in and hand with that guy and we smile at each other as we pass and occasionally will we say hi but she hangs out with my friends from before. It's weird how people you grow up with perhaps will hate the changes that you've made to yourself and they may be angry with you for not keeping in contact with them but if you were ever in real trouble they would be there in a second to help you feel better. I would be there for them too if any of them ever called me crying. It's hard to believe that your best friends are sometimes only temporary and that they will leave you the moment they get a boyfriend or realize that there's someone better…
"Serena how many times a day should you exercise your body in order to be in shape?" asked Mr. Hino.
"I have no idea how many times a day you should exercise does it actually matter?" I shot back, although I know I'm in the wrong first I just hate people interrupting my thoughts.
"It does so pay attention or I'll send you to the gym room to go exercise!" He shouted at me from the front of the classroom, I almost wish he would carry out with his threat but like always he never will.
That Evening…
"Hey Serena over here!" Called Raye, she was leaning against Darien's truck. I ran up and joined them. "Darien said that he would give us a lift to my house so we don't have to walk for once,"
"Oh that's great thank you very much," I smiled, this was awkward…Really awkward.
"No problem get in," He ordered while opening his own door and getting in to his truck.
"Oh ya this is your first time in his new truck isn't it Serena?" Asked Raye, it's like she knew this whole time that me and Darien had a thing and either that or fate is toying with me and making me feel guilty on purpose.
"Umm well. I…" I stuttered.
"No I picked her up one time when I saw her walking home along the side of the road," explained Darien while turning the corner causing me to bump into Raye.
"That was charitable of you," retorted Raye, I couldn't tell if she was angry or indifferent with that kind of remark in a happy voice.
"Yeah," was all I said, what else could I say? Anything else that I would say could create hell for everyone around me.
The rest of the drive was tense, and I think even Raye knew that something was up. Our abnormal silence I think perhaps freaked her out even, Darien and I generally bicker about everything driving Raye nuts but I almost think now he's afraid of me.
"Bye Serena," Called Darien as he stood there waving at the side of his truck.
"Umm Bye," I called back watching him turn and get into his Z71. It was so weird having him say my name again.
"Grandpa I don't need this fuck off!" Yelled Raye at the top of her lungs as she slammed her bedroom door shut, her grandfather and her always fought ever since her family died. She's technically a priestess but she rarely practices any of her religion.
She's never really told any of her friends what happened to her parents and siblings but we all think it involves a lake outside the city, we think this because we were planning on going to lake Oshinibi last summer but as soon as we mention the name of the lake Raye's face went white and she ended up passing out. Of course being the brave Raye that she is she blamed it on the flu virus that had been going around but we know better.
"Sorry Serena, I'm sure you think I'm rude telling my grandfather to fuck off. I can't help it though he makes me so angry, he's always trying to take my father's place and it never works!" She vented, when Raye's on her own and not around other people she's the sweetest girl you'll ever meet, that's why I'll consider her a best friend.
"Have you ever told him that he can't replace your father?" I asked, trying my best to be sympathetic.
"Thousands of times he just never gets the message, no one is like my father he was an independent free spirit. Not a slave to his religion and not someone who acts like someone's father," She spat bitterly.
"Serena I need to ask you something, seeing as you're someone who generally observes a lot that goes on around you. Have you seen any girls with Darien lately?" asked Raye while hugging her pillow tighter to her chest.
"Not really why?" I asked, that's a lie girls are always with Darien.
"I'm getting the impression that he might be seeing someone on the side… You know like cheating on me," She gave me the most sad look that I've ever seen.
How is it I always end up in these situations? How is it that no one else lives a soap opera? Does she suspect me? Right here is where I begin to let my mind wander to every possible answer I could give her each one frightening to say, if I let anything about him and I slip she'll be pissed; but say she knows and I don't let anything slip than she'll think I'm a dishonest friend. I have no way of escaping this dismal twist of fate…
Free Talk:
Not a lot of Darien and Serena action… Sorry this is stuff that's important to the conflict of the story. To those who hate how Serena is being used by Darien, I hate it too and I'm writing the story! It's just something that needs to be done though for the good of the story. Anyways I hope you like this chapter, I was just curious though is there any guys reading this story? Thanks! Please review it what keeps me writing!