Author's Note: Heh, well… I WAS going to leave this story as a one chapter thing, but… people seemed to like this story… and I got more ideas… so… I CONTINUED THIS STORY!

Okay, so this chappie is mainly about Spongebob ranting because of how the producers made his character. I AM NOT BASHING HOW SPONGEBOB'S PERSONALITY IS. I just wondered what Spongebob thought about his character. So please, don't take it seriously…

Thanks to all the reviewers (JN Hardy, Bladequeen2000, Mkfreak2, ActionGal07, and Spongewolf) for reviewing! I didn't think I'd get reviews in three days…

And now, on wit da story!

Spongebob's Rant

Okay, as much as I love myself, and let me tell you, I DO love myself… I look at myself every day in the mirror… I sometimes wish I the producers hadn't made me the way I was. I mean… just lemme prove my point…

First Point: No strength. Have you guys ever seen "ripped pants"? I couldn't lift any of those weights! I was weak! I mean, I couldn't even lift the damn stuffed animals! You know, when that guy gave me his marshmallows on a stick, I thought 'Okay, this'll be easy to lift.' You know what? I EMVARRASED MYSLEF BY FAILING TO LIFT THAT IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE! On top of that, I ripped my pants! I didn't want people to see my tidy-whiteys! I keep telling everyone that I wear boxers! Besides… they had to wrong day on them… You see, it was Saturday and my underwear said 'Monday…' Hey! You try keeping up with your underwear when YOUR boss is a cheapskate crab!

Second point: I'm a wimp. You ever seen "Spongebob Scaredy pants"? Now why would they make me jump at every little thing? Do you know what happens to me when I decide to go out the house? Those crazy kids toilet paper my house! Some of the toilet paper isn't clean! I mean… they already wiped their asses on that toilet paper, and they throw it on my house! I used to get Patrick to clean it off, but he soon caught on to what the yellow streaks and brown globs on the toilet paper were and stopped cleaning it for me. The good thing is, I scared the hell outta everybody at the end of the episode. Ha, you should've seen what I did to those kids… they're probably scarred for life…

Third Point: Gayness. Have you heard what those people have said on the news? They said that I was gay! I AM NOT GAY! I am NOT in love with Patrick, and he is NOT in love with me! The only reason they think I'm gay is because the producers don't put any girl sponges on the show! THEY NEED TO PUT GIRL SPONGES ON THE SHOW! I mean, I'm kinda gettin' lonely in that Pineapple. Even Gary has a girlfriend… why can't I have one? It's not fair… (Sniffle)

Fourth point: I brush my eyes. You ever seen "The Spongebob Movie"? I brushed my eyes in that movie! It may be funny to you guys, but that stuff hurts!

Fifth point: I want Squidward to be my friend. I so totally DO NOT want Squidward to be my friend! Do you hear that guy's clarinet? Do you hear that guy's corny jokes? It's a wonder they haven't kicked him off the show! You should've seen it when he tried to hit on Sandy… he used the corniest pick-up line ever…

And that's about it. Maybe in the future, I'll get a character update.

End

So, that's it? What did ya think? Reviews are appreciated.

R&R pleez! And one more time…

I AM NOT BASHING SPONGEBOB'S CHARACTER!