"Aww, Daddy," pouted Black Hinata. "You're no fun." Sensing that her father wasn't going to get up anytime soon, she began to walk away to find other things to do.

She stopped when she found some interesting things lying in the dirt. "Ooh... presents for me" Black Hinata cooed, taking the shiny objects in her hand. She pocketed them quickly and skipped (yes, skipped- you'd skip, too, if you just kicked your abusive dad's ASS and had one heckuva good time doing it) back towards the Main House entrance to put her new find away.

In the meantime, Hiashi had been playing possum until he was absolutely sure Hinata was gone. He painfully activated his Byakugan (he broke two of his fingers when he crashed to the ground) and scanned the entire area to see if Hinata was out of sight. He breathed a shaky sigh of relief and winced at the throbbing pain coursing through his entire body. That was when he noticed the coppery tang of blood slowly filling his mouth.

"Oh, My-Lanta," said Hiashi worriedly. What in seven hells did his daughter do to him? He began to count the number of teeth in his lower jaw with his tongue. "1, 2… ahh, 16. Ahh… Good, good. Perfect number of teeth…" Then the Clan Head began to count the ones on his upper jaw. "1, 2, 3, GAP, 4, 5, GAP, GAP, 6, 7, …13? No, this cannot be happening to me!"

The shock of this discovery caused the man to lose his marbles. If you can do the math, Hiashi only had 29 out of 32 pearly whites (actually... they weren't pearly white at the moment, but a diluted bloody pink. Ooh, what a pretty color!).

"That lunatic knocked some of my teeth out!" Hiashi crouched on all fours as he frantically combed the floor of the courtyard in search of the missing ivories. "Ooh, when I get my hands on her, I'll, I'll KILL her! NO! I'm going to brand her with the curse seal and THEN I'm going to KILL HER!"

Meanwhile, up in Hinata's room, Neji was busy popping sour candies into his mouth while Hanabi took gluttonous bites into each one of her sister's prized Godiva chocolate truffles. In between mouthfuls the two would talk smack about their weaker relative (bits of candy would spray out of their mouths as they spoke- damn, no sense of propriety here, folks), neither of them realizing the dangerous situation they had unwittingly placed themselves in.

However, as luck would have it for the younger Hyuuga, the chocolates had disagreed with Hanabi's stomach as she pushed past her older cousin and made a mad dash toward the bathroom with a severe case of diarrhea, causing him to spill some of the tart treats all over Hinata's polished wooden floor.

Author's Note: Don't you find the spelling of diarrhea amusing? I do! Anyways, pardon my interruption…

Another Note: (I can't help myself…) Damn, Neji is so hot... - Too bad he'll get jacked pretty soon...

Now Hanabi, in her haste to relieve herself of her sudden case of water dookie, had left the door to her sister's room ajar, and minutes later a seething Black Hinata was standing in the doorway, clenching and unclenching her fists in a spasmodic rage as she evaluated the entire scene before her.

Empty candy wrappers were strewn about every corner of her room. Chocolate handprints had been smudged all over her pristine white bed sheets and walls. There were flecks of sugary spittle everywhere! And right now, Neji's back was towards her as he sat on his haunches, eating her favorite sour watermelon candies off her floor! Black Hinata was positively LIVID.

Neji had felt Hinata's presence and smirked as he continued to munch away on the tasty gummies. (If he had his Byakugan activated, he would've seen the murky black charka emanating from her entire body… she was THAT mad!)

"Hinata-sama," he said nastily. Even after Hiashi (albeit reluctantly) brought the truth surrounding the reason of his father's passing to light, he still refused to believe that his cousin wasn't in any way responsible for what had happened that night thirteen years ago. True, tormenting Hinata on a daily basis wasn't going to bring his father back, but he derived a sick pleasure watching her fall short in everyone's eyes. Hinata wasn't going to amount to anything, least of all a future Clan Leader.

'Who would want to look up to a no-talent scaredy-cat like her?' thought the Hyuuga prodigy. 'The only thing she's good at is gardening, making medicines (though I'll never admit that openly), cooking, and picking candy. Damn, these watermelon things are GOOD!'

He popped another tangy piece into his mouth and cocked his head to the side as he wondered what he would have to do to make Hinata angry enough to fight him again. The last time had been during the Chuunin Preliminaries, and she had been waay too easy to defeat. 'Pfft,' he thought. 'Not like she could hit me or anything, that weak brat. I AM the Hyuuga Genius, after all. And it took 4 jonins to stop me from killing her…' A fact that he was inwardly proud of, too.

"Hey, I'm eating your candy, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. If you try to stop me, I'll just have to demonstrate a repeat of what I did to you during the Chuunen Exa-"

"FUCK YOU, NEJI, YOU SONUVABITCH! YOU ATE ALL MY CANDY! TWO THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!"

Hatake Kakashi's One Thousand Years Of Pain jutsu had been a simple poke in the ass. Hinata's new jutsu, Two Thousand Years Of Pain had every deceased Hyuuga male rolling in their graves. Yes, my dear readers, Black Hinata punted our boy Neji HARD in the groin.

"Oh, Mother!" he squeaked. Neji's eyes widened as stars exploded behind his eyes. The pain was so intense he couldn't scream. He cupped his injured genitalia and felt a warm, sticky wetness in his hands. He lifted a shaky hand to his face and fainted dead away as he realized what had just occurred.

Black Hinata, suffice it to say, had turned Neji into a one-egger. Unfortunately for Neji, she wasn't quite finished with him yet…