Author's Note: That's right folks… I'm back! Now, I know most of ya'll are all just waiting for me to do movies… but there aren't' enough movies out there that are stupid enough to make fun of… not enough that I've seen and/or enough to make a good chappie.
So, today, I'll (or at least Spongebob) will be making fun of something just about EVERYBODY should know about. Well, actually, these "something's" are not something's. They… are people. These people are all over and it's gonna be hard for Spongebob to joke these people without being interrupted by me because… (sniffle)… I'm classified as one of these people! So…
On wit da story!
Spongebob's Rant
They're here. They're there. They're everywhere. You see them at school, at the mall, and on websites such as Your friend might be one, your sister might be one, heck, even you might be one. They're torturing hot cartoon guys all over the world. They are…
THE DREADED FANGIRLS.
Now, after seeing all these fangirls all over the place, I don't know why I don't have any fangirls. I mean, what do those guys have that I don't? I'm hip! I'm cool! I may not be muscular, but believe me, I'm working on it! So, the only thing to do is make fun of the cartoons and their fangirls because it'll make me feel better. I can't understand why those people like them anyway…
First point: Kakashi fangirls. Ah yes, Hatake Kakashi. The guy with the implanted sharingan and a mask to match. (Continues on despite the protests by fangirls and the author.) First of all, why is this guy running around with a porn novel in his hand? Can't you imagine all the scarred little kids when they found out that the book he had wasn't a fairy tale book… well, it probably did contain fairy tale characters, but they were doing a whole lot more than rescuing the princesses… Second of all, what is up with this guy and his gray hair? (From a distance, you here cries of "It's not gray, it's silver!) The only fish I know with gray hair in bikini bottom are all grandpas, grandmas, or just plain old. And third of all, take that damn mask off! In the summer, it is hot as Hades outside, and you're wearing that mask as if it comes with its own personal air conditioner! You know what, he's probably wearing that mask because he doesn't want to blow us all away by the ugliness that lies underneath! (Author: Or he doesn't wanna blow us all away by the extreme hotness that lies underneath…)
Second point: Sasuke fangirls. This is the guy who had his entire clan killed by his older brother, Itachi. (Author: Itachi also has fangirls too… drool) There's only one thing to say here. Look, I know your whole clan killed… and I know you've been through a lot of stressful moments… but if you don't lose that stank ass attitude of yours, I will personally go down there myself and slap that curse mark off you! (Author: But the attitude is what makes him cool…)
Third point: Gaara fangirls. Heh, I'm almost afraid to say anything for fear that he'll kill my ass. This is that guy with the big gourd of sand on his back. You know… the guy that goes around killing people? You've probably seen him on 'Sand Village's Most Wanted.' This guy threatened to take out his own brother! (Author: Mmm… psycho people…) Raccoon-eyed bastard… (Fangirls: Yeah, but… he's a hot raccoon-eyed bastard…)
Fourth point: Shang fangirls. Yeah, that's right… the general from Mulan. I have one thing to say to the fangirls… ha! Mulan got to him first!
Fifth point: Beast Boy fangirls. What the… that green guy from Teen Titans? One word: Ewwwwww!
Sixth point: Robin fangirls. You've seen him in Batman and Robin, and in Teen Titans, still wearing those tight ass pants. He's gone obsessive you guys, so don't try to get in a relationship with him; when you break up, he might just stalk you…
Seventh point: Harry Potter fangirls. Ha! This guy is all skinny and wimpy! And now, if you've read the stories, he needs some SERIOUS anger management… (Author: Aww, c'mon… leave poor Harry Potter alone…)
Eight point: Jim Hawkins fangirls. You know… the guy from Treasure Planet? This guy looks like an emo person…
Ninth point: Zuko fangirls. The guy with the huge scar with the obsessive nature of finding the avatar. Two words: the scar. Muscular and stuff, but still… the scar. And another thing, the guy who plays him, Dante Basco? He's about thirty-three years old or over! (Author: Sigh… it's true…)
Tenth point: Sokka fangirls. I could say that his name has the word "sock" in it, but that would win me no sympathy. I can, however, say that this guy would eat you out of house and home. And the animals don't seem to like him…
Eleventh point: Danny Phantom fangirls. Yes, the guy with the ghost powers. Jeez, what is up with these people making all these guys so skinny? Put some meat on their bones or somethin'!
Twelfth point: Axel fangirls. Yes, the guy from Kingdom Hearts two. (Author: drool) The guy with the red hair and markings under his eyes. And yes, he's the one making those rings of fire… took me just about forever to kick his ass in that one level… unfortunately, he has no heart, so he wouldn't like you back! Mwahaha! (Fangirls: Sigh…) I love being evil…
Thirteenth point: Riku fangirls. Let's just say that it's the same as Axel, only without the fire and the nobodies and the kicking his ass in that one level.
And finally, fourteenth point: Xemnas fangirls. (Author: spits out hot chocolate.) WHAT THE HELL? Xemnas? (Spongebob: looks through fangirl list) Is this even correct? (Author: Well, there are a choice few…) Aww man… I'm gonna go home and cry myself to sleep…
Well, that's it. Yeah sure, I'll probably be attacked by millions of angry fangirls in the morning… but the whole ranting thing was worth it. Maybe now I'll get some fangirls… or just get hit upside the head so much I'll imagine fangirls…
End
So… how'd you like this chappie? Probably the only hypocritical rant there'll be. Remember… smart flames, not evil ones.
R&R pleez! (And messages may not be answered because my e-mail thing isn't letting me on…)