Author's Note: Wow! My story has gotten close to three thousand hits, is on 20 of the favorite stories lists, on eight story alerts, and in one c2! This is awesome! Sure, I wrote the story… but you guys are the ones that reviewed! Thank you all! In fact, just because ya'll helped me get this far… there's a special surprise for ya'll at the end of the story…
In this rant, Spongebob will be going back to TV shows… but TV shows of WHOLE different category.
On wit da story!
Spongebob's Rant
Okay, so we all know our television categories, right? There's animated, anime, non-animated, documentary, courtroom, etc. Although some of us might not like one of these categories, we've all watched at least one show belonging to that category when we were bored. However, there's one category I didn't mention. One category that is, surprisingly, beginning to tick me off more than the 'children's show' category. That category is known as…
Reality TV
Yeah, yeah, we all know the very famous ones such as American Idol, Survivor, Supernanny, and Wife Swap. Some reality shows can also be put into the game show category. But what about the sucky ones that these TV companies are beginning to put out? (Some of the shows mentioned may be game shows.)
First point: Who wants to be a superhero? No, this isn't the question of a lifetime; this is actually a reality show name! This show follows a group of people who try to become superheroes! They wear tights, dress up in latex costumes, and hey! Maybe if the ratings are good, they'll let us create their superpowers! I remember watching this show because it sounded cool. Seriously, I thought Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy were gonna be on this show! I got Gary to pop some popcorn and everything! And then, as soon as I watched it, Gary threw the hot popcorn that had just come out of the microwave at me. In that episode, there was some guy going around seeing if the contestants' hearts were pure enough to be superheroes. Sigh… Look. They're HUMANS. If there was a five dollar bill and the winning lottery ticket on the ground, they aren't gonna say "oh look. Some unfortunate soul has dropped a golden opportunity. I think I will hunt down this poor soul, and give the person their ticket back." They're gonna keep the thing and buy a mansion with all the money they have! (Provided the person is absent minded and doesn't find out that they stole the ticket.) If one of the contestants saw a person drop one dollar, okay, maybe they'll return it to its owner. Five dollars, less of a chance, but there's still a chance. But one hundred dollars? Hell no. They'll pick up that money and TEAR DOWN THE STREET.
Second point: Last Comic Standing. Look, when we see a show with the word "Comic" in it, we expect either a book with cool action pictures, or some funny guy yelling funny phrases every few minutes. Unfortunately, this show was supposed to be based on the second option. This is supposed to be about a group of people who are competing to see who will get crowned as the funniest comic. There's only one problem. NONE OF THEIR JOKES ARE FUNNY. THEY ALL SUCK.
Third point: My fair Brady, we're getting married. Nobody cares. That's all there is to say.
Fourth point: My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé. Man, forget my kids' feelings. If I were a parent of the bride/groom/whatever, I would've beat up his/her fiancé and then asked my kid what the hell they were thinking.
Fifth point: Hey! Oh my god! This show is just like Supernanny! Maybe that's why they cancelled it! What? It wasn't cancelled? Dammit.
Sixth point: Outback Jack. Where a group of women all compete for the affections of an Aussie. Hmm. Oh, what? You wanna know why you've probably never seen it? Well, that's probably because IT WAS CANCELLED.
Seventh point: The player. Yeah, this was cancelled too. And, it's not "player", it's "playa." I may be a dork, but I least I know my gangsta terms!
Eighth point: Who wants to marry my dad? Apparently no one, because this was cancelled too.
Ninth point: So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, and all other talent shows. Why don't these two just join together? Really! It'll be called "So You Think America's Got Talent." Pretty awesome, huh?
Tenth point: Dancing with the Stars: I am so SICK AND TIRED of seeing all these DAMN CELEBRITIES on TV! Half the "stars" you see on this show, you don't even remember! And since I'm speaking about celebrities, let me just get this off my chest… (Deep breath.)
I DON'T CARE IF TOM CRUISE HAD HIS BABY BORN BACKWARDS.
I DON'T CARE IF JADA PINKETT SMITH VISTIS THEIR BABY.
I DON'T CARE IF HILARY DUFF WORE PINK TO AN ALL BLUE PARTY.
So shut up already.
Eleventh point: Countdown to Lockdown. This shows Lil' Kim's days until she goes to jail. Wow… if they didn't base it on one person, this could've been awesome! But wait… they already have a show based on that… and it's called "Cops."
C'mon you guys. Stop making all these crappy reality shows. You're just disgracing all the other good shows. Like Hell's kitchen. Sure, that chef guy just makes me wanna jump in the TV and kick his ass, but it gives the viewers delight in watching the people get tortured by some angry guy. I mean… you never know when something cool is gonna happen! Maybe in the next episode, that guy will turn into the Incredible Hulk! That would be AWESOME!
End
So… how'd you like it? I have this horrible feeling that it'll be sucky like that Cartoon Network and Disney Rant I did. Reviews are really appreciated… especially when they'll help me pick the next topic…
That's Right Folks. You get to help me pick the next topic. Depending on how many votes the topic gets, it'll be written into a full blown rant!
So… which one do ya'll want me to rant about next?
Reviewers (Examples: Flamers, Leet speakers, etc…)
Or
Commercial Types. (You know… types of commercials you see on TV… Sigh, fine… I'll be making fun of depression commercials and Viagra type ones…)
That's it ya'll! And no flames! Flames will be used as an example in the Reviewer rant, if chosen to be the next rant.
R&R pleez!