Thanks so very much for your reviews! I'm seeing lots of interest in a ShikaHina, ShinoHina, GenmaHina, or a SasuHina pairing. I think I just may go with the Gandhara's ideas for a bit... and let Hinata flirt just a bit more.
And yes, what Jiraiya did was a very, very, very bad thing, but there will be some karma going his way very soon... venerial disease, perhaps? Who knows... Also, the idea of Anko making a reappearance sounds great, but nothing too yuri... can't do that. Hmm... what else. Oh! If you want to see any of your other favorite characters make an appearance (or a comeback) let me know and I'll see what I can write in. There's really no plot for this story, I should remind everybody... it's written in fun for fun's sake.
Please review! It pressures me to release chapters faster! No joke! I'm trying to average at least 10 reviews per chapter!
And off we go, Chapter 13! Happy happy joy joy...
Shikamaru was lying on the rooftop of one of Konoha's many buildings doing what he did best- gazing at the clouds. It used to be a habit of his to make shapes out of the floating cumuli. Unfortunately, his subconscious was playing tricks on him today. Normally, doing this characteristically laid-back activity would put him in a relaxed mood, but ever since his little encounter with the lovely Hinata he had been anything BUT. Every shape he saw, Hinata, Hinata, Hinata.
Flashback a-la Chapter 9 (In case you might have forgotten, this happened just after Shikamaru lost his first game of chess to Black Hinata):
"Wait-" Shikamaru dragged his hand down his face. Normally he didn't have much in the area of male pride, but he had just LOST A GAME. "You can't just walk away without giving me a rematch." Then he thought to himself, 'Why am I always the only one who has to fight girls?'
Inner Shikamaru sighed, rolling his eyes towards the clouds in Shikamaru's head. 'Whatever, man. You know you like it when they hit and yell at you. You are one sick dude.' Who knew Shikamaru could be such a closet perv?
Black Hinata looked at Asuma and smiled. "May I take your seat again, Sensei?"
Asuma moved aside, allowing her to take his former spot. He observed the Hyuuga out of the corner of his eye. 'What a change,' he thought. 'I can't wait to tell Kakashi about this.' He and Kakashi were gossip buddies.
Asuma pretended to stretch while the two Chuunins prepared the board. The Jonin instructor could see the gaggle of perverted men who had taken an interest in the exotic beauty. Several had already fallen to the floor sporting gushing nosebleeds.
"Ladies first," offered Shikamaru.
'Ooh, smooth!' beamed Inner Shikamaru.
"Thank you, Shi-kun," said Black Hinata. Asuma and Shikamaru's eyes widened. 'Shi-kun?' they each thought. "However, I must apologize beforehand- I am in a bit of a rush and this game will be quick. I will require no less than 2 minutes and 40 seconds to defeat you."
Shikamaru snorted. Asuma laughed. This new Hinata had moxie. Black Hinata smirked.
Shikamaru got into his strategic pose as his opponent made her first move.
Eight moves and 2 minutes and 38 seconds later…
"Checkmate- Sorry, I win again!"
Shikamaru looked befuddled as Black Hinata's Rook piece overtook his Queen.
"How did you… how did I… Rook..." he mumbled.
Asuma congratulated the teen beauty. "Good job, Hinata-chan. I wasn't aware you could play so well."
Black Hinata bowed her thanks. "Arigato, Asuma-sensei. Actually, I just recently learned how to play."
Shikamaru groused. 'I lost to an amateur...'
Black Hinata turned towards the disorientated Chuunin- "Shi-kun, you are a worthy opponent. I'll be taking this as my prize," she said, pulling the elastic out of Shikamaru's hair and looping it over her wrist. She then ran the back of her finger along his cheek "Hey- I think I like your hair like this, too. Well, gotta get going! Ja ne!"
As she began walking off, Shikamaru jumped up and grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks. Asuma watched surreptitiously in mild interest.
"Hinata-chan, if I beat you the next time, I get to take something of yours as well?" he said, not being able to look up. He turned, letting go of her arm, blushing slightly.
Black Hinata contemplated his words for a second and smiled. She bent over, lightly bit his earring and whispered into his ear, sending a delicious shiver up his spine.
"If you beat me, I'll consider it," she said breathily. She then winked at him, bowed to both men and sauntered off, leaving a whole bunch of bewildered males behind.
End Flashback.
He ran a hand through his unbound hair. "Troublesome," he muttered. "That was my only hair tie, too."
He groaned in frustration and stood up, deciding he had to do something about his wayward thoughts. Stuffing his hands into his pockets he peered over the roof's edge to watch the people of Konoha instead in hopes of getting the redesigned Hyuuga lady-killer out of his mind...
...when lo and behold, who would he see but said lady-killer and her teammates Shino and Kiba walking and talking together. He tried to tune his ears on the conversation and only heard Hinata saying, "That sounds like fun... Let's meet over there in an hour! And if we see anybody we know, we should invite them too! The more the merrier, right?"
Where were they going? He decided he would follow the woman for the time being. Besides, if she ran into him on the streets, she'd ask him to join them in whatever they were going to do, right?
Having a high intelligence quotient had its benefits.
Sasuke was running all over town looking for either Hinata or Naruto, looking a little worse for wear. He was beginning to freak out, letting his mind get the best of him, when he hadn't spotted either one of them since he ran into Hinata at her home (let's say, 2 and a half hours ago-ish?).
He began to pull at his hair. "WHAT IF I'M TOO LATE?" he screamed, drawing stares from the crowd. What if they were indoors somewhere, doing the nasty? Sasuke's eyes were swirling. "NOO... I WANT TO DO THE NASTY..." He had inadvertently screamed that sentence, too, causing both women and men to flock to him hungrily.
He snapped out of his temporary rage for a moment, clearly annoyed by the gaggle of people who had flounced around him licking their lips in anticipation who thought he was asking for a willing participant for a nice quickie...
"WHAT THE FUCK?" he shouted, giving everybody around him the trademark Uchiha ice-cold glare. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" He disappeared in a poof of smoke, leaving everyone there in a state of confusion.
'Was he... or wasn't he... GAY?' they thought in unison. The women were hoping he'd accept them to prove that he wasn't, and if he was, then they wanted to be the ones to bring him back from the beyond. The men... well, Uchiha Sasuke was just too hot for their own good and having younger lovers were all the rage. Since both parties had been flat-out rejected, they just didn't know what to think.
"What a tease," complained someone who sounded a lot like Richard Simmons. "Gosh, and he's so YELL-y..."
Sasuke was starting to get as bad as his teammates in terms of the sheer volume of his voice. Speaking of which...
Sakura had dragged Naruto all the way to the front gate of the Hyuuga household hoping to catch a glimpse of the sleek, redefined and ever-elusive Hyuuga Neji, but the moment they saw an overzealous green whirlwind of excitement heading their way, they tried to hide as quickly as possible. It could only mean one thing-
Maito Gai was HERE!
Now Naruto had no problems with Rock Lee. They were good friends. But that mooky Gai... now he was something else. He shivered.
Gai had paused in mid-spin when he noticed the presence of some of his former top-rival's students (remember the Rock had taken Kakashi's place as Public Enemy #1? See Chapter 10 for details.).
"HELLO, KAKASHI'S BRIGHT-EYED PUPILS OF YOUTH'S ETERNAL SPRINGTIME MINUS ONE!" he hollered amicably.
Naruto and Sakura froze in fear. They had been spotted! Sakura didn't take her eyes off of the silly man approaching them as she whispered urgently into her teammate's ear, "We have to separate. If we don't, he'll get us both!"
"Right! That's a good plan, Sakura-chan!" He got into a defensive fighting stance as he waited for her to make her first move before he followed suit, but she was already long gone (it had been her plan all along to sacrifice him to Konoha's Green Beast), and the swift Gai already had his arms wrapped around Naruto in a crushing bear hug! "AAAAUUUGGGHHHHHHH!" the blond screamed! There was no escape from Gai's nefariously gay clutches!
Naruto needed a diversion. (One hour later...) 'Of COURSE!'
"Gai-sensei," he wheezed. Gai's embrace was making it hard for the loudmouth to breathe. "Look, it's Fuzzy Eyebrows!"
Gai shook with unbridled emotions, whipping Naruto's body back and forth as if he were a rag doll. "NO, NO, NO! You're lying! Why would he be here when he has the Rock..." Gai made a stink face "...as his new idol? He's forgotten all about me and all of our past wondrous fires of beastliness!"
Naruto frowned. Damn, what was he talking about? Lee was his own idol? It made no sense. Fires of beastliness? Well, that was new...
"Did I say Fuzzy Eyebrows? Uh, I meant Tenten-chan! Look! Over there! Hey, Tenten-chan! How are you?"
Gai nodded his head disapprovingly. "Kakashi is rubbing off on you, I see..." said Gai, who had released his grip just a little. "Tenten-chan is on vacation. You are a LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!" Gai's eyes were aflame at Naruto's audacity to fib in his face!
Naruto gulped. Of all the days for Gai's team to be totally against their sensei... Naruto only had one hope left. He felt foolish for not thinking of this sooner. They were at the Hyuuga residence, and Neji was a Hyuuga and one of Gai's students...
He didn't take any chances, though, just in case Neji wasn't home... He created a clone of himself and had the copy make itself in Neji's likeness.
"Umm... isn't that Neji walking through the courtyard?"
"Neji?" Gai took the bait. Sure enough, he could see his pupil's making his way towards his home. He unkindly disposed himself of Naruto to twirl and dance after 'Neji'. "NEJI-KUUUUUUNNNNN! YOO-HOO! IT'S MEEEEE!"
Naruto took this opportunity to get as far away from the Hyuuga place and away from Gai as possible!
The person assigned to watch over the store had come out from the back room several minutes after hearing the door chime in a customer. It belonged to his sister who had run out a while ago needing to pick up some supplies from another merchant. He sighed. 'What a total drag. I don't even want to be here…' he griped. He would rather do deskwork back at the Hokage's office than do this.
The man saw a woman with a shapely figure browsing the racks for swimwear. 'Maybe this day isn't a complete loss,' he thought, straightening out his Konoha standard jonin vest and his trademark bandanna. 'It's time for G-money to get his mack on...'
Black Hinata perused the selection of bathing suits in the store. She couldn't find one in particular she liked.
"I think you'd look good in this," said a male with a deep sexy voice dangling an indecently skimpy string bikini bottom in the air. She turned around. She stared briefly at the very minimal outfit that also happened to obscure her view of her personal shopper. She pushed the daring outfit aside revealing the dashingly handsome face of one Shiranui Genma.
"Hyuuga Hinata?" he choked, finally discovering the identity of his guest. Whoa! He had no idea... he hadn't seen her since refereeing her fight with Neji in the prelims...
"Genma-san," she chided, walking her fingers up his vest-clad chest and tapping his perfect nose. "Shame on you! You know very well this little swatch of fabric isn't enough to cover anything..."
He quickly regained his wits hoping to save face. "Ahh, Hinata, you've misunderstood my intentions," sighed Genma dramatically, clutching his heart as if wounded. "I merely wanted to suggest an outfit that would flatter your figure..."
"Oh, stop, you!" laughed Black Hinata, mirthfully, swatting at his arm. "But really, Genma-san, I can't swim with my friends in that..." she said, pointing at the tiny object that if balled together still probably had less cloth than a band-aid. "Could you find something else for me, please? Something that offers just a bit more coverage... and has a top that comes with it?"
He scratched the hairs on the nape of his neck, embarrassed that one of the 'Icha Icha' tactics he read about bombed so badly. Actually, now that he thought about it, none of the 'Icha Icha' tactics made any sense... A woman would have to be absolutely stupid, desperate, or blind and deaf to fall for any of these... Just WHO exactly were Jiraiya's test subjects?
"No problem... give me a sec, okay?" he said, as he headed towards the back room and rummaged through some boxes in the back. He came out a few minutes later with another black bikini and Black Hinata took to it immediately. It reminded her of the one Halle Berry sported in the James Bond flick, "Die Another Day". Hot and not hoe-ey.
"Much better! You've got yourself a sale!"
From outside the boutique, Shikamaru was grinning from ear to ear. "Hinata-chan... shopping for… a bikini..." He tapped his fingers a-la Montgomery Burns from "The Simpsons" and said, "Excellent…"
Sasuke happened to poof into the alleyway around the corner and heard everything. 'Hinata-chan? B-B-B-B-B-BIKINI?' He was drooling! He stopped. Who the heck was talking about his girl? He turned the corner... WTF? Shikamaru? Was he into Hinata-chan, too?
"Whatcha doin' here, Nara?" he deadpanned.
Shikamaru reluctantly peeled his eyes from the shop window and slowly turned to look at Sasuke. "Nothing, Uchiha. Just observing," he said lazily.
Sasuke looked past Shikamaru's head, wondering for the briefest moment why it wasn't in it's customary up-'do, and sure enough, the woman of his dreams was in there talking with Genma who was leaning over the counter saying things to make her laugh.
"Wait just a goddamn minute- who does he think he is flirting with MY Hinata-chan?"
Shikamaru whipped his head back to the two people in the store and then glared back at the person standing next to him. He didn't know who to be angrier with- Genma for sweet-talking with Hinata or Sasuke for his pig-headed comment about Hinata being his. Wait just a damn friggin' minute. Wasn't it enough that he had nearly the entire female population of Konoha lusting after him, not to mention the entire gay community (not that Shikamaru was jealous of that) but he had to have Hinata, too? Selfish BASTARD!
"Your Hinata-chan? What the hell are you talking about? Why, for the love of Kami, would she want you, Sasu-GAY?" Obviously, he didn't care too much for Genma at the present moment, but he was still wary of the older man.
Sasuke twitched, pointing a finger in Shikamaru's face. "W-WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"
"What," Shikamaru quipped, as Inner Shikamaru rolled on the floor with laughter. 'Good one, man!' Shikamaru smirked. "You don't like that, you spazz? You like SAS-UKE better?"
Sasuke looked to his left and right and placed his hand over Shikamaru's mouth. "STOP IT, YOU ASSHOLE! SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR YOU!"
"Might hear him what?" Black Hinata said, as she and Genma walked out of the store after having heard a loud ruckus emanating from the street.
"Hi, Hinata-chan!" sang Shikamaru and Sasuke, both waving their hands cutely. Then they glared at each other.
Genma spoke up, leaning his tall frame against the doorway while carefully chewing on the tip of his senbon needle. He crossed his arms. "What are you guys doing here?"
"What are you doing here," asked Sasuke, eyeing the man suspiciously. He didn't like Genma. Well actually, Sasuke didn't like ANYBODY... other than Hinata and himself...
Genma threw a disgusted look back at Sasuke. Damn, he was just as annoying as his older brother, Itachi. Was there a stick up every Uchiha's ass? "This is my sister's store. I'm watching it until she gets back."
"Mm-hmm! And I think it's sweet that he's helping his family out..." Genma winked at Black Hinata, who lightly pinched his arm and gave him a tiny smile in return.
The gestures didn't go unnoticed by the other men who were seething.
Sasuke pouted. He'd help his family out if he could to impress Hinata… but oh, that's right. THEY WERE ALL DEAD! His hatred for Itachi burned even more… 'Thanks a lot, damn good-for-nothing Aniki…'
"And look! He sold me some swimwear!" she continued, waving an itty-bitty bag in the air. It was no bigger than an index card. "Shino-kun, Kiba-kun and I are going to go swimming in the lake in a few minutes. You're all welcome to join us if you'd like!" she said, looking at the three men. She sweat dropped. Presently, the guys had faces similar to Ditto, a creature from the Pokèmon series. It hadn't dawned on any of the shinobi that Hinata would use the bikini today, even for Shikamaru who claimed to be so intelligent.
"Well, they're probably waiting for me there. I'll see ya later, guys! Invite anybody you see!"
Shikamaru, Sasuke and Genma snapped out of their trances and saw that Hinata had already vanished.
"I gotta grab my swim trunks!" cried Sasuke, who disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"How troublesome… I live on the other side of town. I guess I'll just have to buy a pair," sighed Shikamaru. He made a move to walk into the store, but Genma was much quicker in his actions and had already locked the door.
"Sorry, man. The place is closed," he smiled, waving his board shorts in the air. "Hinata's waiting for me."
Shikamaru looked dispairingly at the door and then pointed an accusatory finger at the retreating form of Genma. "You're supposed to watch the store, bastard!"
Naruto was running through the trees, still intent on making his getaway from Gai and look for his pink-haired teammate. There was no telling what would happen to him if Gai discovered that the Neji clone was a distraction… unfortunately, Naruto was still a klutz and accidentally hurled himself out of a tree…
…only to fall into the arms of Black Hinata who caught him bridal-style.
Thanks for reading, reviewing and requesting!