A/N: I realize just how tempting it is to keep Black Hinata in every scene. I can't help it, OOC Hinata, AKA Black Hinata, is just easier to write. Sorry to those of you who feel that White Hinata needs some more time in the spotlight… I'll try harder, although it'll cause my brain to hemorrhage. Well, maybe... maybe it would just be easier for me if White Hinata started developing a backbone?

Let me know how this chapter works out for everybody.

Hope y'all had a pleasant holiday season! Thanks for all the wonderful Christmas-y greetings/reviews! On a happy note, I received by 10,000th hit for this story on Dec.29th! Wow! (Shivers) That's scary.

Let's recap, shall we?

Ch.1- Introduction

Ch. 2- Meet Black Hinata

Ch. 3- Unpleasantries for Hiashi and Neji

Ch. 4- More unpleasantries for Neji (who I love)

Ch. 5- Again, Neji gets the short end of the stick

Ch. 6- Black Hinata kicks Hyuuga ass

Ch. 7- Kakashi meets the new Hinata

Ch. 8- Pervy Sasuke

Ch. 9- Pervy Shikamaru

Ch. 10- Gai meets the Rock, Lee's new idol

Ch. 11- Enter Kiba, Shino and Akamaru

Ch. 12- 'Akamaru' gets too friendly with Black Hinata

Ch. 13- Genma (who is too smexy for his own good) meets Black Hinata

Ch. 14- Naruto makes a mistake; Ino and Sakura are about to meet their maker...

Ch. 15- CHRISTMAS BREAK! Black Hinata kills Santa!

The ideas you shared in your reviews were hilarious! So if I do end up incorporating some of those submissions, I hope to do them justice!

Enjoy Chapter 16, and Happy 2006!

Right when Black Hinata was going to Jyuuken the two annoying twits into the next century, Naruto made his grand entrance. Leveling several trees with the ginormous duffel bag he was carrying chock full of snacks and other fun things, everyone's attention had been warded his way (the way he liked it, too, he-he).

Naruto bumbled his way towards his friends, stalking first and foremost towards his pink-haired crush. "SAKURA-CHANNNN… WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU! LOOK AT ALL THE AMAZING STUFF I'VE BROUGHT!" he said. Then he took in his surroundings, pointing his finger at Sasuke, who was currently trying his damndest to ignore the uneasy feelings he had about Naruto being anywhere near Hinata. "OI, SASUKE-TEME, WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

Sakura, getting overly upset at Naruto's rudeness towards her Sasuke-kun, threw a punch in the direction of Naruto's face. Naruto winced as he waited for the impact, yet there was none. White Hinata had stepped forward and grabbed Sakura's hand just centimeters from Naruto's face.

"Sakura-san, how would you like it if someone punched your face for having an opinion?" she said calmly and quietly, looking disdainfully at the hand that was about to mar the face of her friend. "Although it IS awfully rude to call Sasuke-kun such names, Naruto-kun," she pointed out.

Yes, White Hinata said this.

There was a cold chill in the air. All was eerily calm.

The two girls blinked in shock. They had never heard Hinata put someone in their place… EVER.

Kiba and Shino shared the same expression. They were the ones who were around her the most.

Naruto decided to take the Himura Kenshin route and "ORO?"-ed. He turned to look at his savior... and flushed the color of cooked crab. Hinata and her bathing suit... So there was someone more sexier than the form he had when he performed his Sexy no Jutsu! Then he pulled an Iruka as the blood flowing from his nostrils propelled him backwards into the ground.

Inner Sasuke giggled in glee, not caring that some of Naruto's blood had splattered onto his chest. 'Hina-koi defended me! Bleh, Dobe! Maybe I don't have to worry about the two hooking up after all! Du du du du, du du, du du.. CAN'T TOUCH THIS!' Inner Sasuke was dancing and twirling whilst doing the Cabbage Patch. Inner Sasuke is the dork that Regular Sasuke isn't.

Genma and Shikamaru just glanced at each other and shrugged their shoulders. All they knew was that Hinata was a nice girl with an equally nice body.

Then Sakura and Ino took another good look at Hinata, and then at themselves, and then in the general vicinity of their endowments and compared them to the ones on the pale-eyed teen standing before them.

At first, Ino felt put off by the fact that Hinata's were larger than hers until she saw Sakura's. Ino snickered to herself. 'HAH! Sakura's the smallest of us three! She's practically a boy! Even Chouji-kun has bigger boobs!'

Sakura face faulted once she looked at Hinata's and Ino's chests. It just wasn't fair…

When Naruto got back up again, he realized just how inadequate Sakura really was in that area as he turned to look from Sakura to Hinata, back and forth.

White Hinata broke the strange silence that had taken place. It wasn't her intention to create a tense moment, but she was going to further the awkwardness for everybody once more. "Naruto-kun… ano… what are you staring at?" Then she looked down at herself. A black cloud of insecurity washed over the heiress…

Just what was she wearing? Or better yet, what was she not wearing? She slowly began to hyperventilate.

Today had been the strangest day… she remembered being scolded from her father, tending to her father's mysterious injuries, then wearing tight leather clothing, being attacked by the Hyuuga guards (she scowled when she remembered this), and lastly her conversation with Naruto-kun. Everything else seemed hazy… her memory was a bit splotchy. Did she have a concussion or something? What was going on? And wasn't she growing her hair out long? She had just noticed it was considerably shorter than before.

She looked at her friends. Kiba approached her, concern in his eyes. Hinata was looking a bit too pale and she was beginning to waver slightly. "Hinata-chan, are you okay? Oi, Naruto! You got anything for Hinata-chan to drink in there?" he said, gesturing towards the ridiculously large bag while he lowered her to the floor.

Naruto snapped out of his mild daze to rift through the duffel. He pulled out a cooler and threw Kiba a can of iced tea. Kiba sat, leaning against a tree and propped his teammate's back against his chest as he popped the tab open with his free hand. He brought the cool drink to Hinata's lips and ordered her to take a few slow sips.

Every man there had been so concerned for Hinata's well-being that the thought of Kiba holding her hadn't phased them in the slightest. That is, until Kiba realized this for himself. He made a hentai observation- Hinata was sitting in between his legs! He nuzzled her neck affectionately with his cheek, much like a dog does towards his mate, and grinned cheekily at the shocked male onlookers. "Hinata-chan," he drawled huskily. "How are you feeling now?"

"Mm... Kiba-kun... Better... Thank you for taking care of me," she whispered, turning her neck up to smile at her friend and blushing once she realized how close his face was to hers. She gulped nervously. Seemingly all the guys were acting strangely around her today as well. She lowered her head and poked her fingers together out of sheer habit. "Demo, Kiba-kun... do you think there's something... different... about me?"

"Different? Like how do you mean?" asked Kiba, even though he clearly knew what she was getting at. Hinata wasn't herself today. But he didn't mind in the least. Sure, he always thought Hinata was a great girl and all, but the different sides of herself she was showing kept him on his toes. Kiba knew that Hinata was someone he would never get tired of.

"I feel funny..." she started, drawing her knees into her chest, trying her best to cover herself as much as possible. She wished she had her trusty jacket with her at the moment. "I... this may sound strange, but... I don't remember some of the things that have happened to me since this morning... the strange outfits, cutting my hair... Is there...could there be something wrong with me?"

He hugged her closer to his body. "Hinata-chan, there could NEVER be anything wrong with you. You... you're wonderful, just the way you are." 'Like this, in my arms, wearing a freakin' hot bikini that leaves very little to the imagination,' he added mentally.

While the other men were getting their panties in a bunch over Kiba's good fortune, Naruto approached Shino.

"Oi! Hey, you! I don't think we've met before. I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'm going to be Hokage someday!" he said, thrusting out his hand towards the unfamiliar person standing besides Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Genma.

"..." Shino paused for a moment as he regarded the tanned outstretched limb. This was the second time Naruto failed to realize who he was. "Naruto... you don't recognize me? I'm... so... sad..." he said overdramatically. Because, hey, that's Shino for you. Have you heard his voice? It just SCREAMS drama! DRAMA!

He regarded the 'stranger' for another moment before whispering in Sasuke's direction. "Psst, Teme! Who's the new guy? He sounds just like Shino!"

"Dobe, that's because it IS Shino!" replied Sasuke, wondering why he had to suffer even further by having the densest people on his team. He stormed back into the water grumbling. Wasn't it enough that his entire clan was dead? Could things possibly get worse for him? How the hell was he supposed to get strong enough to kill his brother if he continued to work with brainless sea monkeys? And how was he supposed to continue his family line if Kiba was trying to keep Hinata all for himself?

Sakura and Ino were just about to follow the brooding Uchiha hunk into the lake, but they fainted happily once Sasuke sent them a glare that said, 'Come near me and suffer my wrath.' Apparently, it was an utterly sexy glare that caused the two girls to lapse into temporary comas. Such was the awesome power of the angstiest member of the Rookie 9.

Sasuke stood waist deep in the water, folded his arms, and pouted. He was so pissed with everything (again, everything but Hinata and himself) that his face turned red and the water around him was boiling.

Well, that's how it appeared. Looking underneath the underneath, Sasuke was angry, yes. However, Sasuke turned red because he had accidentally passed wind into the water. Those bubbles... were really gas bubbles.

Look, just because most people want to think that Uchiha Sasuke is Mr. Perfect doesn't mean he doesn't pee or poo or fart like the rest of us. Just because he's such a cold and stiff person doesn't mean that he doesn't allow his sphincter muscles to relax and let one rip. But since we like Sasuke (er, I like Sasuke), we ought to say that his farts don't smell, unlike a certain blond fox-boy that will go unnamed (and we know his farts reek because look at what they did to Kiba and then during the failed mission to retrieve the Bikouchuu bug, and when we see him pass gas in the anime, it's a sickly puce color. Puce means stinky in the language of colors, if you didn't know it already.)

But we will say that Uchiha Itachi doesn't feel the need to perform basic bathroom-related duties because he is the quintessential embodiment of perfection. Because when you're the Q.E. of P, you don't get quibbed for stupid bathroom humor.

It took a while for our dear idiot to process this information. "NANI?" he finally screamed at Shino, causing everyone to flinch. He made circles around the Aburame, poking and prodding his face in disbelief.

Shino's bugs were throttled by the high decibalage of Naruto's loud booming voice. Their host's body had erupted a 9.6 Richter bodyquake! 'Mmmmaaassaaakkkaaa... wwwwhaaaaaaat tttthe hhhhhelllllllll isssss gggggoooooiiiiiinnnnngggg oooooonnnnnnnn?' they wailed. One brave little cockroach crawled out of Shino's ear to investigate. He slapped four of his hands/legs to his face in outrage! 'How dare this... this... infidel poke dimples into Shino-sama's blessedly handsome visage!' it thought.

"You're Shino? Masaka... You've got to be kidding me! You have normal eyes? I was sure you'd have bugs eyes or something weird like that for sure! All of you Team 8 members are so strange!"

Somehow, Kiba, with his keen sense of hearing, and Hinata, with her ability to catch everything Naruto said, didn't catch his last words.

However, the little cockroach, angered by the audible boy's audacity to hurl insults about his master's physical appearance, as well as the blow directed to the pretty black beetle (1) that their sire favored, decided to go all kamikaze on Naruto's ass and sacrifice himself in Shino and Hinata's name. The little cockroach, whose name was Number 3,060,286,729,576 flew into Naruto's mouth and lodged himself in his throat, causing Naruto to gag and cough, thus ending Naruto's verbal assault on Shino.

Shino watched as Naruto cloned himself to perform the Heimlich (since nobody else seemed to be in any hurry to help him, the poor dude) and shed a tear for his fallen comrade. "Ahh… 3,060,286,729,576... Arigato..." he whispered. The other trillions of kikkai he had were mourning the loss as well, pouring ceremonial wine on a makeshift tombstone as they paid tribute to the one who was the most energetic little larvae in their hive. Things would never be the same without good ol' 3,060,286,729,576.

Finally, Naruto coughed up something- something that dizzily flew its way back to Shino's finger! 3,060,286,729,576 was alive! 'HUZZAH!' cried the bugs in glee! "Huzzah," said Shino, who gently removed the spittle from 3,060,286,729,576's back before returning him to his friends. '

You 'da BUG, 3,060,286,729,576! You 'DA BUG!' they cried in unison, slapping 3,060,286,729,576's back. He bashfully rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed by all the praise and attention he was getting.

While the bugs were having their party, Kiba discovered that when he squeezed Hinata's arms, her breasts would press together as well. It became a fun game to the playful Inuzuka until Hinata untangled herself from Kiba's arms. It was nice of Kiba to give her so many hugs, she thought, but her Florence Nightingale tendencies told her to go and see if Sakura, Ino and Naruto were ok.

"A-arigato, Kiba-kun, for taking care of me…" she said, placing a small kiss on his forehead. Kiba turned pink. "I… I guess it will take some time for me to get used to what's going on… like you said, if nothing is wrong, then nothing is wrong!" She shrugged her shoulders and was about to poke her fingers together again until she stopped herself. "Aah, I ought to check up on Shikamaru-kun and Sasuke-kun's teammates!"

"Oi... Matte, Hinata-chan!" Kiba stared blankly as Hinata just smiled and walked away from the spot they were resting at. Just what did he have to do to keep Hinata by his side?

He glared at Naruto, Genma, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Shino. He needed to think of a way to take out the trash.

(1) the black beetle is the kikkai bugs' reaction to seeing Black Hinata in her black leather bodysuit... she's shiny... like a bug (chapter 11)
Just a random thought… does anybody wonder what would've happened if Kakashi led Team 8 instead of Kurenai? Speaking of which… I haven't written her into the story yet! D'OH!

And I've been watching some past episodes of "Naruto" because, well, just because, I guess, and I've forgotten just how deep and sexy Shino's voice was (Japanese, not that silly English dub- BLEH)! Shino's voice… can melt butter! BUTTAH, I TELL YOU! (Shivers…) BUTTAH!

Shino: "Ahh, Julie-dono... so you love the sound of my voice?"

juliagulia1017: "Oh, yes, Shino-kun! Your voice... your voice makes my knees weak! It's teh smex! Please... would you please say my favorite word... onegai..."

Shino: "Do you mean...?"

juliagulia1017: "Yes! Please! Hayaku!"

Shino: "Review."

juliagulia1017: "KYAAAAAH! Shino-kun!" (swoons). "Too... sexy..."