As always, characters are OOC.

Just a smallish chapter … just something to hold everybody over until I can think of what to write for #18…

Was up in Tahoe this past weekend to go boarding with some friends... snow wasn't that great. Bah.

So enjoy… and know that if there are things lacking in this chapter, I'll try to remedy that in the next one. And let me know if there are people I'm overlooking (aside from Kurenai- I'm still thinking of when I should put her in)… I already have something devious planned for Hiashi in a later episode (hint- it'll involve some jail time), maybe we'll throw in several bad guys (Akatsuki or Orochimaru? I'll let you guys choose), and… uh… that's all I can think of for now. Oh yeah, Gaara will come to Konoha in a future chapter as well. All I can say about his encounter with Black Hinata… it will be somewhat cheesy, but funny cheesy? I'll let y'all be the judges of that.

Oops, I've let my notes get too long again.

Chapter 17- Naruto Finally Gets It

It had been a relatively quiet day at the office- just a whole bunch of desk work and papers and yet Tsunade didn't care, having decided that it would be a good time to take one of her infamous naps. That was before two ecchi shinobi decided to drop by for a visit. Their topic of discussion? Who else?

Kakashi, the normally 'I-don't-give-a-damn-about-what-you-do-as-long-as-it-doesn't-cramp-my-style'-looking former ANBU was extremely animated as he told his tale about what he encountered at the Hyuuga mansion… Tsunade almost shuddered at the overly creepy way Kakashi's (and Jiyaiya's) eye(s) would look up towards the ceiling as he began to describe the new outfit the heiress had taken to wearing. Matter-of-factly, she was quite disturbed. Was it her imagination, or were there hearts in their eyes?

"So what you're telling me is that Hinata… mild-mannered Hinata… Hinata the chuunin that's too nice for her own good… Hinata who would probably rather fight with pillows than with kunai…" she said, massaging her temples- she shouldn't have had so much to drink last night- "managed to take on four Hyuuga guardsmen- all of chuunin ranking or higher- on her own? Kakashi, of all the fabricated crap you've brought into my office, this one takes the cake…"

"I thought you would think that way, Hokage-sama," the Copy-nin started, "But it's the honest truth. I wish I could make something like this up. She's surprisingly a lot stronger than we thought she was. She even managed to do questionable things to her older cousin Neji," his eye twinkled as he remembered just how ridiculous he looked. "Her skill level is amazing."

"And her chest is a lot nicer than yours, you evil bitch…" drooled the Toad Sannin (who had started to doodle a picture of a naked Hinata), before Tsunade deposited him out of the office with one of her inhumanly strong punches.

The Godaime studied the jonin before her. Not once in the entire time he was here did he glance at his dirty novel. NOT ONCE. And Jiraiya, before she sent him flying, seemed to be deep in concentration while massaging his cheeks whilst muttering the word, "Squishy." (Wonder what he was thinking about!)

"She's a lot more confident than before, Hokage-sama. She has discussed a plan to seek retribution against her family for past grievances."

Tsunade folded her hands together as she gathered this new information. It was her job as Hokage to see what was going on…

But she didn't like dealing with the Hyuugas. Especially Hiashi. Damn, if it weren't for the fact that the Hyuugas were a really strong clan, she would've had them exiled them a long time ago.

But Hinata was different. Tsunade wondered how a flower like Hinata could grow up with the stick-in-the-mud Hyuugas. She knew Hinata had a hard life from the accounts that Yuuhi Kurenai had shared with her. But for Hinata to somehow all of a sudden develop a backbone of sorts was something that the Hokage questioned herself.

"Kakashi- tell Hinata that I request her presence in my office. I'll need to check out these claims for myself."

Kakashi bowed before Tsunade and left in a cloud of smoke. Tsunade stared out of the Jiraiya-shaped window to look at the villagers going about their daily business. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in Konoha, but sometimes you could never be too sure.

"Oi, Shizune! Make sure no one disturbs me until Hyuuga Hinata arrives!"

"Hai, Tsunade-sama," replied her most trusted assistant.

The well-endowed Godaime went back to her desk to indulge in a well-deserved nap. Nothing cured a hangover quite like sleep.

Everyone was gathered lakeside (yes, Sakura, Ino and Naruto were up and about) where Naruto was about to propose a talent competition of sorts.

"Hey! Let's have a contest to see who can perform the coolest jutsu!"

Ino and Sakura groaned. "Naruto- what a stupid idea!" griped Ino.

"I'm game," said Sasuke, hoping to show off his Chidori to his special lady. He stared intently at the back of Hinata's head, willing her to turn around and see the special smile he was reserving for her.

Unfortunately for the Uchiha Avenger, she had turned her pretty little head up towards Genma who had come from behind and had wrapped his arms around her body. "Can people perform combined jutsus in pairs?" he asked, as he rested his chin on one of her porcelain shoulders.

In the background, Sasuke cursed his dumb luck again. 'Stupid freakin' Genma…' groused Inner Sasuke. Genma was immediately added to the mental list of people he wanted to kill. Somewhere way behind Itachi and Orochimaru, of course. Needless to say it was a long list. If Sasuke had his way, there would only be two people left on the planet and he wouldn't have minded restarting off the world's population with his Hinata.

Sasuke spaced out as he began to fantasize about re-populating the planet with Hinata. That would mean tons and tons of SEX! He grinned happily.

White Hinata tried to will herself to stay calm. She smiled awkwardly before she felt him being pulled away. She stared as Shikamaru used his Kagemane no Jutsu to pry him off of her.

"Shikamaru-kun?" she questioned.

Inner Shikamaru face-faulted. 'So we're back to Shikamaru-kun? Oi… this is so troublesome…'

Shikamaru thought fast as he scanned the group. "There are nine people here. Pairing off in twos would leave one person without a partner," he said nonchalantly, even though he had no intention of participating in this little game. Lazy is as lazy does.

Kiba piped up. "So, who goes first, then?" He was excited to show Hinata some of the new moves he and Akamaru picked up. And then he frowned. Oh yeah. He sent Akamaru away. Damn.

Naruto ran into the water before anyone had a chance to delegate the order of contestants. He scratched the back of his head. "He-he, EVERYONE WATCH THIS!" he hollered as he performed Rasengan in the water while combining it with his Uzumaki Naruto Rendan. Five Naruto clones appeared on the water and kicked around the extremely powerful chakra ball as if they were playing a game of soccer. White Hinata clapped appreciatively- Naruto's skills had improved greatly.

Sasuke, Shino, Kiba, Genma and Shikamaru looked put out as their jaws dropped to the floor.

Sakura and Ino looked worried. They doubted Sasuke had anything that could top the trick Naruto pulled off.

Sasuke grumbled. 'I'd be able to do that, too, if I had a freakin' Kyuubi demon in my body… stupid Naruto…'

Naruto walked off of the lake's surface and pointed his finger in everyone's faces. "HE-HE- BEAT THAT, GUYS! Who's next? Oi, Hinata-chan! Why don't you give it a go?" he asked, as he coaxed her into the water.

White Hinata looked around. 'Oh, why not,' she wondered to herself as she walked on the water's surface towards the center of the lake, giving herself enough of a distance from her friends so that she wouldn't hurt them.

"Shugohakke Rokujuyon Sho!" Everyone watched amazed as White Hinata 'danced' on top of the water. It really was quite breathtaking. Everyone was spellbound.

Sasuke, Shikamaru, Genma, Kiba and Shino wore goofy grins on their faces. "Kirei..." they muttered simultaneously.

Sakura and Ino looked at each other. They didn't like the looks Sasuke had been giving Hinata all day.

Naruto stood dumbfounded as he wondered why he was experiencing dèja vu all of a sudden… Mother Nature helped a bit by allowing a few large clouds to drift above them, momentarily giving the forest the appearance of being nighttime.

Nighttime… super pretty girl on the water… sprays of H2O making her look absolutely enchanting and ethereal… he had finally put two and two together.

Naruto screamed, causing Hinata to stop her jutsu and everyone to turn their attention towards the blubbering idiot that was drowning in the shallowest area of the lake. Ino pulled Naruto out of the water as Sakura began to slap his face in order to get the loud boy to quiet down.

Hinata came out of the water a little hurriedly and didn't notice that the straps to her bikini had come loose, not until she saw Sasuke and Shikamaru's noses burst open with a waterfall full of blood and followed the trail of their eyes back to her body.

"AAIIIEEE!" shouted White Hinata, clearly embarrassed, as she used her arms to quickly cover her chest.

"SORRY, HINATA-CHAN!" said the two red-faced boys apologetically, even though they weren't sorry at all…

Kiba, Shino and Genma were FURIOUS! Furious with Shikamaru and Sasuke for seeing Hinata's boobage, and furious with themselves for not being able to catch a glimpse.

Sakura huffed. How dare Hinata flash her goodies before Sasuke! 'That WHORE!' thought Inner Sakura. Forgetting about Naruto's condition, regular Sakura stood up, went into the water, and purposefully cut the top of her own bathing suit so that it would unravel quickly.

"SASUKE-KUN! MINNA! LOOK HERE!" They all turned towards Sakura reluctantly (minus Naruto). "OH NO!" she cried fakely, placing her hands on her cheeks as if she were distressed. "MY BATHING SUIT IS COMING APART!"

And just as she said, it fell apart, revealing her tiny chest. Kiba looked and threw up immediately, followed by Shino, Sasuke, Genma, Shikamaru, Ino, Hinata, and finally Naruto had woken up and looked to see Sakura topless on the water and he too blew chunks. It was a vomit domino effect caused by seeing the most disgusting thing in the entire Naruto universe.

Even Lee had stopped by with his new best friend, The Rock (who had recovered nicely from Gai's Dynamikku Entori), and decided to give up on his love for the pink-haired girl. She was no longer as wonderful as he had adamantly claimed she was as he and the wrestling superstar next to him began to toss their cookies.

Sakura took one good look at the newly redesigned Lee and forgot that she was standing half-nekkid. 'This is LEE? Hot DAMN!' thought Inner Sakura.

Lee looked at The Rock, who gave him a look that said, 'You know what you have to do'. Lee took a deep breath and cocked his nicely groomed eyebrow in true Rock fashion. He lifted his hand in the air where a microphone proceeded to descend from the sky.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA, YOSH!" he started. "WHAT, YOSH, IN THE BLUEST OF BLUE HELLS IS THAT!" he cried, pointing towards Sakura's chest.

Everyone alternated from being amazed by Lee's new transformation (going from geek to chic) to yelling at Sakura to put her top back on. Sakura was mortified and confused by everyone's reaction. She looked down-

She could've just SLAPPED herself. How could she be so foolish? She started to cry hysterically. She looked at her precious Sasuke-kun and the new hottie Lee for the last time and began running back towards the direction of her home. She'd leave Konoha as soon as possible and start a new life- move someplace where no one would know her name or her miserable little secret...

It took a long while for the people back at the lake to recover from their shock. They shivered in repulsion.

'And everyone thought I was a freak,' thought Shino, who went to the water to rinse out the vile taste of vomit.

'And everyone thought Lee was a freak,' thought The Rock.

'And everyone thought Shino and Lee were freaks,' thought many of the others who decided to follow Shino's example and clean themselves with water.

And Naruto just stood in his position, pieces of the up-chucked ramen clinging to his mouth and jaw, and stared at Hinata.

Hinata was the ultra pretty girl from the waterfall!

Naruto fainted again once he realized that he had seen her naked before!

Why is Sakura a freak? Why is the authoress such a hater?

Just what was this thing that Sakura kept hidden for so long? Why can't Sakura stay in Konoha?

Everyone had seen her birthmark! But this was no ordinary birthmark, people. This outlandish skin deformity stood out in the middle of her chest. And unfortunately, she also had a huge MOLE on said birthmark.

It appeared as if Sakura had a weird third nipple. Mole-y mole-y mole-y.

And somewhere in the backdrop of the forest, there was another witness to the madness.

Kakashi had seen it all. From the glorious viewing of Hinata's breasts all the way to Sakura's strange abnormality. He knew he had to follow Hokage's orders and deliver Hinata to her office, but Kakashi had another pressing matter at hand.

He had to go home and change his mask.

Bloodstains and vomit are so hard to clean out.

Sorry it was so short and WEIRD! The well in my brain has gone dry.

And as always, review if you can!