Goodbye Scene -- set between chapter 20 and 21: Sam has awoken from her temporary possession by Ba'al. Jack cannot handle her harsh words or the torture at her hand during her possession so he decides to alienate himself from her pending his retirement, and in this scene, he announces this and his intention to end all relations with her. He later becomes victim to Anubis' spirit creature at his distraught feelings and tries to escape. The Gate had not been shut down as Dionysus hadn't died yet.

---------

Jack could not help feeling the need to be there with her, as he had always felt and been before. But now he could not look upon her face without seeing the gold in eyes that had called to him and tried so desperately to kill him.

Even though he knew it had not been her, nor could ever truly be the Sam he fell in love with, he could never kiss her without tasting his own blood again… could stand before her the man he had once been.

So now he stood at the end of her bed at the infirmary, his hands in his pocket, looking over her angelic face and silky hair atop the white sheets and pillows.

"Hey," she said too high to be a whisper, too low to be anything less than a comforting hello.

He had imagined, once, waking up beside her in bed, those very words in that very tone greeting him in the light of mid-afternoon sun. Now it only beckoned descent.

"Hey," he answered back unfeelingly. She extended a heavy but delicate hand for him to come closer. He imagined her using the very hand to choke him but snapped out of it and cautiously walked to her bedside, taking her hand just the same. "How are you feeling?"

"Hmm. I dunno," she said with a sigh, looking at him with a careless smile. She looked around and asked, "Where am I? What happened?"

"I'm sure you remember." She paused and thought about it but nothing really came to mind. No final memory. It was a blank slate, a new start like a new morning. "Ba'al took you over. The base took a hit."

She looked at his small facial scars, like fingernails, and looked down at her hands. She had done it. He took a deep gasp like she couldn't breathe as her hand began to shake slowly. He gripped it harder. "How many dead?" she said, her fear rising. "How many?" she yelled.

"14 down, 32 injured."

That's when he decided to tell her why he had come after so long away, why he had to leave her now at her most vulnerable.

"Sam, I need you to listen, ok? None of this was your fault. You have to know that. No one blames you… But I blame myself. I knew it was Ba'al when I brought him to you. I knew he could escape but I did it anyway. This is why the regulations exist, Sam. I let my feelings for you take over my reason and I'm so sorry."

"Jack, what are you talking about? You didn't mean it!"

"It's still my fault. And I can't handle being here anymore, being like this," he said and paused, taking in a big breathe and looking away from her deepening blue eyes. They still held a single hand, the last thread holding them together. "I turned in my resignation on the way here. This is goodbye, Sam. I'm leaving the SGC."

"Are you leaving the SGC, or are you leaving me?" she asked, a tear wanting to leave her but hid it with a withering cold tone.

"I wish I knew," he said. "But it's what I have to do… I'm sorry if I ever made you think we could--"

"Forget it. This is goodbye, right? There's no regret in a goodbye. There's no turning back. It's just the end." He knew she was too strong to admit to feeling anything at this point. So he closed his eyes for a moment, stood up, and let go of her hand reluctantly.

He didn't turn around on his way out, merely stopped as she said, "If it means anything at this point, I'd never take it back. Not a single year, Jack."

And he kept on walking right out of her life.

She looked around groggily at the endless rows of injured soldier around her own bed, her eyes turning teary. A nurse looked at her strangely, even piteously, she thought.

She looked to entrance of the infirmary. Maybe he'd come back. Maybe he'd decided she was more important than his stupid guilt. But he hadn't. Daniel had come in instead with a face like the nurse's. Pity, how she loathed it.

"Sam, what happened? Why did Jack leave like that?" he asked, sitting beside her.

"Nothing, Daniel. You wouldn't know."

"You mean about you and him? Please, Sam, I've know for over 8 years."

"He's retiring, Daniel."

"That's good, isn't it? Now you guys can--"

"He never wants to see me again, I assume. He blames himself for what happened with Ba'al. He knew the symbiote could take over and he didn't tell anyone because he let his personal feelings cloud his judgement," she said, the tears coming down by themselves. She hadn't even noticed, hadn't even felt them until she saw one fall upon her quivering hands.

Daniel noticed her staring down at her hands atop her stomach on the white hospital linens and put his own atop hers. "Sam, you're going to be fine. I'll go talk to him."

"No! No, please, don't. Don't tell him I've been crying. Please, Daniel. Jack can't know."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack had left the infirmary with his own heart in his hand, and he felt his hand tighten about it like a cage of pale fingers. He looked up and saw the hallways of Level 28 turn to lava, coming down around him. Heat reached his feet and made its way up his body mercilessly.

He stumbled to the elevator, trying desperately not to collapse. Walter was about to get in too but he closed the doors before anyone else could enter, and then slid down the far corner. He hid his face in his knees and rocked himself to make the voices stop but they just got louder and louder.

"Get to the Gate, Jack," they said in his own voice, overlapping onto themselves in echoing tones. His hand began to shake uncontrollably and a black smoke came out of his every pore.

Something was trying to leave him.

And then the elevator gave a small ding and the doors began to open. The hallway was clear on Level 28 that moment. He didn't know what would have happened if it hadn't been. But he got up off that floor nonetheless and with the smoke still encasing his every movement, he made it to the control room.

The technicians and engineers ran away from him as quickly as they could. He tumbled to the seat and…

Deleted Death Camp Scene -- set around chapter 10: Teal'c is still at Anubis' death camp and a little boy sends word of Jack's survival. Was deleted when I realized that Teal'c would have to respond and couldn't think of anything.

---------

Later in the night, he heard the sound of footsteps on stubborn ground and sat up ready to defend himself if he must. But there was only a child.

He couldn't have been more than 9 years old and already he looked like he had survived ages of this torture. "Are you Teal'c, warrior of the Tau'ri?" he asked meekly, fidgeting a note in his hands.

"I am," Teal'c responded.

"I bring a message for you, sir, from the castle," he said and dropped him the note written on yellowing paper atop his lap before running out the tent scared. It reminded Teal'c of Rya'c when he was very small but his son had never been so timid.

He opened up the note, expecting something from Bra'tac of their plan. But no.

I'm still here, T, it read.

He let it fall to the ground. He quickly jumped up off the ground and ran out after the boy but there was no need. He was waiting a response just outside the tent. Teal'c pulled the boy inside the tent again and knelt down before him in a great hurry, shaking him by the shoulders.

"Who gave this to you?" he asked firmly. "Who gave this to you!"

"A man in the castle with hair of gray. He said he was of the Tau'ri and he had to find you. He said he could free us."

"Can you find him again?"

"Surely, sir. He's in the Master's court."

"Explain."

"He's one of the Master's pets, sir. A favored host, brought back from the dead in the sarcophagus."

Teal'c took it in. It had to be O'Neill. Hope flickered again. "You tell him we're coming for him, understand. Tell him...

There was also an alternate proposal scene in the commissary, over Jell-O, but it got erased and my plans to put it in after they had already proposed made no sense. So I kept it how it was.

STAY TUNED FOR A QUICK EXCERPT FROM ENDLESS NIGHT