Authors warning: For blood and themes of self harm.
Authors note: I want to say thank you all again, we are at 20k views as the story gets closer and closer to completion, not only that but I made it onto TVTropes! My account did at least, my story has not yet, but I might have just missed it, either way I'm on there which I am incredibly thankful for, none of this would have been possible without you all. I also apologize for this chapter taking longer, the holidays are crazy busy this year, either way I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.
Lynn had been too afraid to sleep the prior night, she had to force herself through dinner, the aspiring sports star was disappointed when Lisa said she had no luck contacting Deacon yet due to just how late it was, the child prodigy assured she would get ahold of Lynn's psychologist tomorrow.
After what felt like an agonizing evening that almost seemed endless at points, Lynn spent the night laying in Lincoln's bed, practically latched onto him while he slept, trying to ignore the split personalities as they would occasionally talk to her, the brunette did not respond whatsoever to them, feigning normalcy for Lincoln's sake, she could only remain still, yet the sporty girl did not dare to close her eyes.
The next morning started peaceful for Lynn, though that peace did not last long, as the hallucinations of the split personalities reappeared once again only an hour after she took her medication, the auburn-haired girl hated knowing how worthless the medicine seemingly was now, all the 5th oldest Loud could do was put the bottles back and dejectedly head downstairs for breakfast.
Breakfast wasn't anything special, while everyone else seemed perfectly normal, Lisa Lincoln and Lynn all held a different air about them, it was obvious something was bothering the sporty Loud, Lisa clearly was distracted and lost in thought, whereas the white-haired boy was not too energetic either, the middle Loud sibling having stayed up a little late to keep his pregnant girlfriend company, sadly his body eventually succumbed to slumber.
"Lynn? Lynn!" Rita's voice snapped Lynn out of her daze, having been absent mindedly poking away at the food on her plate after only cleaning about half of it off.
"Huh? Sorry mom, what is it?" Lynn apologized while rubbing her left eye tiredly, the aspiring sports star could see Lynn-Sanity standing near the refrigerator, looking like an uninvited house guest that was just passive aggressively waiting for someone to offer them a beer, even if it was evident that there was none on the premises.
"I asked if you had anything planned after school today?" Rita repeated her question, the mother of 11 was sympathetic to her pregnant daughter's exhausted demeanor, the blonde woman remembered some of her worst nights while pregnant with some of her kids.
"Not really, I was going to visit Luna today, that's about it." Lynn honestly answered, the sports loving girl could tell that was a rather random thing to do after school, Luna's new home was not too far away, but it was still off the beaten path.
"Why not just ask her to come here? She has plenty of downtime." Luan asked curiously, it was clear that a lot of their family would much rather all see Luna again together, and they imagined the rock loving Loud would gladly pay her old home a visit now that she was settled in with Sam.
"Yeah, it feels like she's been gone for years already..." Lana confessed how she felt, the red cap wearing girl saw how sad Lily became when reminded of the guitarist, to the point it usually caused the youngest Loud sibling to fall into pure silence.
"I just wanted to hang out with her, that's all." Lynn brushed off her sisters' questions, she could see Dismal Lynn laying in the living room, the sporty Loud always preferred when the depressed split personality was playing dead, it made the hallucination far more tolerable. "What about you, Lincoln?" The 5th oldest Loud tried to change the topic by attempting to inquire as to what her brother had planned for today.
"Unless you need me at Luna's, I was going to go work at Leni's after school." Lincoln responded, while at the same time offering his girlfriend a choice to invite him along to Luna's if she needed him, the middle Loud sibling talked to the rock loving Loud often enough, he was her band manager after all, the white-haired teenager was unsure why Lynn wanted to see Luna in person, he knew it was important but did not want to pry though given she was in a fragile state.
"I'm happy you got a job champ, but if you needed more money, you could have asked your mom or me." Lynn Senior stated to his son, the Loud parents had seen their son take up small jobs during summer so he could have cash saved up for things he wanted later in the year, to the father of 11 this seemed more like the commitment someone would have to their first job, whether it was temporary or not was irrelevant.
"Yeah, you spend all your time with Leni or Lynn lately." Lola couldn't help commenting on his behavior, not even trying to hide her jealousy, her only brother tended to help her a lot at beauty pageants, while there was a lull in them usually at this time of year, they would for sure pick up again in another two months.
Lincoln swallowed nervously, this had been one of his bigger fears, his younger sisters demanded his attention more than the older half did, he had been trying to keep his focus evenly divided for a long time now, however his need of money and his sisterly girlfriend's pregnancy forced him into narrowing any free time he had on Lynn.
Lynn held her head upon seeing Luan snicker at hearing that, Lincoln had told her about their prank loving sibling knowing the truth about their relationship last night, it did nothing to help the stress that the sports loving girl was feeling, the pregnant Loud could be happy knowing it was one less sibling to break the truth to at least.
While Lincoln got stuck trying to excuse his own recent behavior and pretending the favoritism with specific siblings was unintentional, Lynn Junior got up from her seat, going over to the sink to begin washing the dishware that was there, while reluctantly tolerating Lynn-Sanity's presence beside her.
"If they're annoying you, it's easy enough to get them to shut up y'know?" Lynn-Sanity offered, the sporty Loud ignored it, anything she did at this point would do nothing but draw more suspicion on her.
"The only one I want to shout at right now, is you." Lynn declared under her breath, the teenage girl putting the plate in the dish drainer, she reached into the water to take out the next item, only for the 5th oldest Loud to see it was a knife.
Merely holding it made Lynn's heartrate spike, her pupils having shrunk to the size of a pin. It was probably the only knife in the house discounting the one that the sports loving girl had left in the basement's walls, after that incident a few months back where her arms had gotten cut, Lincoln had convinced their parents to remove any dangerous items or keep them more secure. Their father returned most of his knives to the safety of his workplace, Lisa had made a special locking pegboard for Lana's tools even, medications were no longer something to be left loosely lying around beyond what was prescribed to Lynn either.
Lynn still remembered how embarrassed she was about that, feeling bad for her parents having to do all that just for her own safety, this one knife was only kept out of food preparation needs, everything else was silverware at best. The 5th oldest Loud dropped it back into the water, beginning to step away.
"Lynn?" Lynn nearly jumped out of her skin when feeling Lisa's hand tugging on the back of her shirt, the sporty Loud trying to calm down and hide any signs of being unnerved, seeing the rest of her family wrapping up breakfast for the most part.
"Wh-what is it, Lisa?" Lynn stumbled on her words, trying to act like everything was normal, it was obvious that the child genius did not fall for it whatsoever.
"I need to talk with you." Lisa simply stated, Lynn nodded, following her 2nd youngest sister off so they could go upstairs, since it sounded important.
Once they were back in Lisa and Lily's room, the girl wearing glasses closed the door behind them. "I received an email from Doctor Deacon's assistant." Lisa began with what this was about, she had been able to get news on Lynn's psychologist, although the 2nd youngest Loud did not sound like she was happy about it.
"Did they say why neither of us could get ahold of him?" Lynn asked, the pregnant Loud wondering if that meant she had an emergency appointment scheduled for after school today.
"The reason no one has been able to establish communications with Deacon, is because he had a family emergency, he isn't in town and is dealing with a dying relative." Lisa explained what had happened to the psychologist, someone in the family taking a turn for the worse tended to make people drop everything they were doing so they could go be with them, Lynn held her head upon hearing that.
"His assistant was clear that she did not know when exactly he would be back, she doubted that he would be in the best mental state to do his job upon his return either." Lisa elaborated, it seemed like something that had been going on for a short while now, before the split personalities had even reappeared, there was a silence in the room between the two.
"What should I do then?" Lynn came out and said it, she was more scared than ever when hearing the one that had arguably helped her the most was not currently available, and the sports loving girl highly doubted the assistant made any useful suggestions beyond that of the automated variety.
"I genuinely do not know, you COULD return to the psyche ward, but I fear that would at best be kicking a can down a road until your body chemistry nullifies the next set of medications." Lisa exclaimed, that was the first idea that came to mind, but the thing that made the bespectacled child hesitant about that was the fact that Lynn would most likely be stuck there for an unknown period of time.
That one-week spent in the psyche ward had been a nightmare for Lynn, however it had been an immensely stressful thing for their whole family, Lisa still battled with bouts of feeling like a failure for being unable to help both the pregnant Loud and their brother after the trauma they endured.
"I'm screwed, huh...?" Lynn understood what it was that Lisa was saying, the 2nd youngest Loud shook her head instinctually at hearing that, she could see her pregnant sibling's face becoming crestfallen.
"I think I can be of assistance; I do have all the data and theories Deacon has concocted with me, perhaps now I can do far more with this than I could before." Lisa elaborated further; before Lynn could say anything, she felt her younger sister hugging her. "I'm sorry I failed you before..." The genius girl weakly sniffled.
Lynn did not know what to say, she felt herself freezing up at the fear of potentially saying the wrong thing and making her little sister feel worse, she understood Lisa's reasoning for being upset, from the young Loud's perspective she had her sibling's huge mental burden placed before her and was begged for help, only to be tricked into either doing nothing and remaining silent or trying to offer said aid, yet despite everything Lisa was unable to protect her family members from the split personalities.
"All we do is make them suffer." Dismal Lynn's voice echoed; Lynn could see the depressed split personality sitting against the nearby wall, hearing it speak caused the sporty Loud to pause for thought, she glared at the split personality before her gaze softened and drifted downward, looking at the watch Lincoln had given her, the sports loving girl thinking that perhaps the best thing she could do for Lisa, was to comfort her and express her thanks for all she had done.
Lisa was caught by surprise when she felt herself being picked up by Lynn, that small stature of the bespectacled girls being used against her, the 2nd youngest Loud was confused when being held by her older sister, she saw a loving smile on Lynn's face, and a determined spark in her eye.
"You haven't failed anyone, the only one that let anyone down here is me, you gave me warnings and told me I couldn't do this by myself..." Lynn began by reminding Lisa of her own foresight. "You were right, and I hate myself for not listening to you sooner." She added, if there was one thing these split personalities had made the sporty Loud realize, it was that she had neglected a lot of the bonds with her family for a lot longer than she ever intended.
"You've put every ounce of your brain to helping me, even when I didn't deserve it, you helped keep Dismal at bay, practically mapped out all the personalities, then you and Doctor Deacon helped get rid of them, even if it was only for a little while." Lynn expressed her praise for all Lisa had done to help her, the child genius was left rather awestruck and speechless, it was like she was talking to a whole new person, it was surreal to the glasses wearing girl.
"I'll do whatever you say if you think it can help." Lynn gently hugged Lisa, feeling her little sister's head rest on her shoulder.
"I trust you with my life, Lis." The aspiring sports star hummed, feeling the child prodigy tighten her hug on her older sister, the two remained like this for a while, when Lynn looked to where Dismal had been, it was no longer there, like it had simply vanished.
"Lynn! We're going to be late!" Lincoln's voice could be heard calling up from downstairs, Lynn didn't even realize just how fast time had flown by in her discussion with Lisa, the sporty Loud putting her genius sibling down.
"We'll start when I get home, have a good day today." Lynn said to Lisa before heading off.
"Y-Yes, you as well." Lisa could only say quickly in response, still absorbing what had just transpired as her 5th oldest sister hurried off to get to school.
"What did Lisa want?" Lincoln attempted to inquire from his girlfriend as they took their usual walk to school, both of them having become rather not so fond of riding the bus to school anymore, and the white-haired boy was not a fan of the idea of Lynn riding a bike everywhere, the sporty Loud did not argue with him about it, she knew he was just being protective of her and their unborn children.
"Jeez, does this idiot need to know everything?" The aggressive split personality asked, Lynn was unsure if it was being rhetorical or not, it was honestly hard to tell with that voice specifically, the red hued hallucination was following right behind her, looking like it did not have a care in the world.
"Yeah, he does." Lynn bitterly responded to the split personality, Lincoln knew he was the one that implored her to talk to these voices to begin with, though he hoped that his girlfriend would not do it so casually in public.
"Deacon is stuck dealing with a family emergency, and it's gonna be a while before he comes back... Lisa thinks going back to the psyche ward wouldn't get anything done, she thinks she can help me, I don't know what she has in mind, but I'll give anything a shot at this point." Lynn reiterated what Lisa had told her, the 5th oldest Loud was exhausted from not sleeping at all last night, she could only pray that Lisa was able to be of help.
"Well, if the options are being locked up or gambling on Lisa to help..." Lincoln's sentence trailed off, he did not like the idea of his sister being stuck in a psychiatric ward for an unknown period of time, one week was already plenty stressful for their whole family, the middle Loud sibling doubted any of their large family would handle one of their own being committed for long-term.
"What're you going to see Luna about? Do you need me to come with you?" Lincoln offered to Lynn, he doubted she was merely going to Luna's 'just to hang out' as the sporty Loud put it, the white-haired boy wondered if there was something worse going on than just the hallucinations, to his knowledge the brunette had remained in full control of her body so far.
"I just need to talk with her about something, that's all." Lynn brushed her boyfriend's query off, the auburn-haired girl would be lying if she did not confess to missing their older sister as well, there was a reason for this meeting, the 5th oldest Loud just knew her brother would be unhappy if he knew the truth.
"What're you going to do about Clyde?" Lynn tried to divert and change the topic to one about her brother's best friend, while she hoped that Clyde would keep the secret quiet, the aspiring sports star did hope that Lincoln wouldn't lose his best friend or give up on that friendship because of her.
"Honestly? I haven't the feintest idea..." The bucktoothed boy sighed, he felt his girlfriend take her hand into his own, Lynn was trying to offer her brother some reassuring comfort, a subtle way of letting him know that she was here no matter what.
"All we've done is ruin his life, we don't deserve his kind heart." Dismal Lynn's tone caught the 5th oldest Loud's attention for a brief moment, she shook it off in an effort to try and ignore it, despite the fact that the pregnant girl knew the two hallucinations were both following along, that pang of guilt made Lynn's heart ache, she was unable to deny that she regretted how she wound up in this position, the brunette fell into silence entirely as the two made their way to school.
Once the two had arrived to school they had split apart, Lynn already could tell that it was going to be rough getting through today when during her first class, the aggressive split personality would not stop making comments of some variety, at one point the brunette saw Lynn-Sanity pretend boxing the teacher.
Lynn didn't know if she should laugh or not, it did seem like the action of a bored kid that did not even try to hide their violent desires, but at the same time it made her more scared of the mere idea at them taking control of her body, the brunette could only try to distract herself by either focusing on the teacher, or by simply staring down at the watch Lincoln had given her.
"I think they were easier to ignore when they were just IN my head..." Lynn thought to herself as she left her class, the aspiring sports star began to make her way to one of the bathrooms, she was mentally debating whether or not to even bother going to lunch today, the sports loving girl would prefer to spend some of the free time with her friends.
Upon entering the bathroom she could see one of the three stalls occupied, Lynn paused in place when passing one of the mirrors above the sinks, looking at her reflection, the exhaustion of going all night without any sleep was starting to become readily apparent on the brunette's face.
"I look awful." Lynn sighed, turning away and beginning to head towards one of the available stalls, though something rang out in her ears, it sounded like she had stepped in something wet.
"Huh?" Lynn looked down, the 5th oldest Loud sister had anticipated it to be water from a broken pipe, it would certainly fit her luck recently, though that was not the case, there was a strange red tint to the liquid, a substance that the brunette was all too familiar with.
"Blood?" Lynn blinked, it was coming from the stall she had been about to enter, she shoved the door open, only for what she witnessed to make her eyes shoot wide open, any tiredness the sporty Loud had immediately fallen away.
Dismal Lynn's splayed out corpse could be seen within the stall, all Lynn could do was stare in wide-eyed horror at the crimson soaking the doppelganger's stomach that seemed unending, then Lynn's eyes drifted down slightly that nearly broke her, as the sound of running water began to fill the room, though the noise felt skull shatteringly loud to her, she fell to one knee, a strong wave of sickness following after, Lynn trying to cover her mouth as vomit began to shoot out without warning, falling between her fingers and running down her shirt onto the floor. Lynn closed her eyes, trying to deny the horror she was witnessing because of the depressed split personality.
"Ahhhhh!" Lynn screamed while sitting up suddenly, it took a moment for her to realize that she was not in the bathroom, instead, the sports loving girl found herself lying back first in the nurse's office, a place she was all too familiar with.
Lynn couldn't even begin recounting just how many times she had been carried to the nurse, the pregnant girl bringing her hands up to her face, it felt like someone had shown her a glimpse of one of her worst nightmares.
"Hey settle down! You're in the nurse's office." A familiar tone spoke up, Lynn looked to her right and was greeted by a person she had not been expecting, it was Chandler, she had not even been aware of his presence in the room until he had spoken.
"C-Chandler...?" Lynn weakly swallowed, the McCann boy was standing near her bedside, or rather, leaning there on his two crutches, his busted leg from when Lynn-Sanity had attacked him was still in a cast, the sporty Loud felt her heart beginning to calm down.
"You finally back with reality, Loud?" Chandler quirked a brow, Lynn looked at the time and saw it was halfway through lunch time, it felt like it had been so much longer though, and that exhausted tired feeling that the 5th oldest Loud held in her body did little to help.
"How long was I out?" Lynn asked while resting on the haunches of her hands.
"10 minutes? I was in the boys' room when I heard a scream, I went in there and found you just lying on the floor out cold." Chandler recounted what had transpired, he had been nearby out of simple coincidence and nothing else, though he felt bad when having to request some of his friends to get the nurse due to the current state of his leg.
"The nurse thinks you passed out from exhaustion." The party loving boy added, Lynn did not know what to think about that, it felt more like she had been scared to sleep, that image still was burned into her eyes despite her best efforts to suppress it.
"Well, thanks for helping me." Lynn could not really think of what else to say beyond her thanks, the sporty Loud felt embarrassed at just how weak she had seemingly become, that had been the worst thing she had seen Dismal Lynn do to her through these hallucinations, the pregnant girl could not shake that feeling of dread in her body. Lynn dragged herself out of the bed, beginning to head for the open door, only to be stopped by Chandler raising one of his crutches and blocking her path.
"Before you run off while the nurse isn't here, I needed to ask you for a favor." Chandler claimed, Lynn found herself hesitant to stall, but decided to hear him out, the brunette felt she owed it to the McCann boy given his injury that Lynn-Sanity had caused him, at least his hand had recovered nicely enough.
"What is it?" Lynn quirked an eyebrow, from what she knew Chandler had seemingly made constantly throwing parties a low priority, so much so that it had begun costing him friends that only hung out with him just to get easy invites to said celebrations.
"The docs are going to tear off my cast next month, they want me to start physical rehab right away." Chandler began detailing the near future for himself, it did not need to be said that there was most likely no chance at all for him to walk normal ever again, however due to his age there was a hope that his leg could heal enough to let him operate without a cane at least.
"You want me to recommend a gym or something?" Lynn quirked a brow, she had never gotten hurt bad enough to need physical rehabilitation, she did enough exercise on her own that it practically was no different, and any doctor that knew the 5th oldest Loud sister knew that about her all too well.
"No, I want you to help me with my rehab, you're pretty much the best athlete in the whole school, even with your... Condition." Chandler paused toward the end of his sentence, looking down at Lynn's stomach for a moment, it was becoming prominent enough now that the brunette's current clothes were no longer doing the best job at hiding her pregnant belly.
"What?" Lynn was caught off guard by the compliment and the formerly spoiled boy's request, as much as she appreciated the flattery, knowing that he was able to discern she was pregnant was already a concerning enough note to her, because if Chandler could tell she was with child, then that meant others might be able to.
"I'm not a doctor, I'm not trained for that sort of stuff." The pregnant girl responded; she was more fearful about causing his injury to take longer to heal than it already was.
"You've ruined part of him, what's the point if it will never be completely better?" Dismal's voice sounded, Lynn looked over her shoulder and back at the bed she had been in, seeing the hallucination now resting within it without so much as a scratch, as if nothing had transpired.
"I didn't pick you at random, Margo suggested you, she told me how you helped Paula out a lot a few years back." Chandler stated how he had reached the conclusion of turning to Lynn, referring to her best friends' even, the sports loving girl blinked in confusion at that, a few years back Paula had earned her own cast due to a bad injury, however the healing process took so long that when the cast came off she could not even play sports, it caused Paula to fall into a depression, that was until Lynn more or less dragged Paula out of her house and began to help her on the path to re-strengthening her limb.
"I did that because Paula's my friend, and... Wait- Margo told you? Why would she even talk to you?" Lynn inquired quizzically; the 5th oldest Loud sister noticed a small crimson starting to grace Chandler's cheeks, he looked embarrassed like she had accidentally dug up an unintentional secret.
"When I got out of the hospital and back to school, I still was learning how to use these stupid things." Chandler waved one of the crutches briefly as he began explaining. "I fell off the bus and she was the one who helped me, we've been hanging out a lot since." He finished there, leaving it intentionally vague. Lynn held her head, this was a lot to take in right now while her mind was currently busy trying to repress her recent memories in that moment.
"Fine! I'll help you when the time comes, but if you whine, I'm giving up on you on the spot." Lynn finally gave in to Chandler's plights, mostly motivated into agreeing by her own guilt for being the one to injure him to begin with. Once that was said and done Lynn resumed her leave of the nurse's office, leaving him behind and easily outpacing him.
Lynn hated this situation, it felt like she was being backed into a corner from every angle, she couldn't do anything to suppress the split personalities anymore, pain did not detract from the depressed one anymore, the pregnant girl had tried during one of her early morning classes to silence it by stabbing a pen under one of her fingernails, while it had hurt significantly, it had done nothing to deter Dismal Lynn.
Once school had ended for the day, Lynn had gone straight to Lincoln, finding him at his locker putting up his items that he was not going to need for the weekend ahead, though the sibling couple could tell that something was wrong with one another, neither of them seemed to be in that good of a mood.
"Are you alright Lynn? I didn't see you at lunch today." Lincoln hesitantly spoke first when it became clear they both were locked in silence while waiting for one or the other to talk first.
"Just, it's been a rough day, and not just because of the personalities, that's all." Lynn shook her head, the hallucinations were currently absent, but she knew better, they would appear whenever they felt like it seemingly. "What's on your mind, Linc?" The 5th oldest Loud redirected the topic to prying at what was in his mind in trade, thinking his issues were far more important than her own.
"It's Stella, she asked if she could talk to me after school..." Lincoln answered, Stella had come to him out of nowhere between classes, despite the fact she had been essentially avoiding him since their relationship decayed. The white-haired teenager was uncertain about it, he was inclined to agree out of obligation due to their relationship ending because the middle Loud boy decided to focus his priorities on being responsible for his unborn children.
"Well, what're you waiting for?" Lynn chirped curiously; the brunette wasn't worried about losing her boyfriend, no, she felt terrible enough about ruining what Lincoln and Stella once had and even worse for destroying their friendship, the sports loving girl felt like Stella was owed some form of explanation, it was just a complicated topic to handle, yet the 5th oldest Loud sister wanted her younger brother to save his friendships if he could, everyone in their family knew how much Lincoln valued those bonds.
"I was waiting for you to jab me in the ribs and call me crazy for risking our secret even more than we already have?" Lincoln answered bluntly, yet honestly. Just like the rest of the Loud family, he had been noticing the many gradual changes in Lynn, the bucktoothed boy once brought his concern about the brunette's changes up with Lisa, the child prodigy theorized it might be a side effect of a maturing psychology, either because of the pregnancy or due to the constant pressure the split personalities had applied.
"Stella wasn't just your friend, Lincoln, I was starting to get close with her too, until I screwed everything up..." Lynn responded shamefully, while she and Stella had butted heads a small amount, that didn't make the aspiring sports star feel better when she essentially backstabbed Stella the same night she agreed to go on a date with Lincoln, the fact the obsessed split personality had caused it felt like a weak excuse to the 5th oldest Loud sister now.
"I need to head to Luna's, you do what you feel is best, Linc, you're the man with the plan after all." Lynn told her boyfriend, reminding him that if anyone could fix things, it would be him, Lincoln gave a determined nod, appreciating the confidence boost she gave him.
Lynn did not tell Lincoln this, but she was in a hurry to get everything she wanted sorted out with Luna so she could go home and begin working with Lisa so they could attempt to get rid of the personalities, the two separated without anything else said or done, despite that desire for them to do so.
Lincoln did not know what to expect from this meeting with Stella, it was one of the many things that added onto his already guilt riddled conscious, the bucktoothed boy was happy, certainly, and that joy was probably the only thing that suppressed those nasty feeling chains on his conscious, though he did not see himself changing his mind or his heart at all.
Lincoln found Stella sat outside the back of the school, most of the student's called it the faculty entrance since usually most of the teacher's parked in this area, though aside from the few empty cars that remained untouched since this morning, it seemed like the only person there was the black-haired girl herself, Stella.
"Hey, sorry I made you wait." Lincoln apologized, approaching with a familiar tone like he would with any of his friends, Stella looked to him, the first thing the teenage boy saw in her eyes, was the shattered remnants of her heart, it made him internally wince, yet he refused to let it show.
"What'd you want to talk to me about?" Lincoln requested, uncertain if getting straight to the point was the right thing to do or not, in this instance things felt rather awkward, it did not help that he had a bad feeling that the longer the conversation took, the worse it might become.
"I want to ask what happened." Stella started, her hands rubbing together, either due to the cold or nervousness, Lincoln couldn't tell.
"What happened...?" Lincoln swallowed, wondering if somehow his former love interest discovered the truth.
"I can't get it out of my head... Some days I think back about it, and none of it makes sense." Stella said while casting her gaze away from him, it was her way of trying to hide how truly upset she was, Lincoln found himself patiently letting her continue.
"You told me you had feelings for me, for the longest time, then you asked me to be your date to Chandler's party, you weren't yourself for most of it, but I understood." The Zhau girl continued, Lincoln was starting to feel his heart throb in guilt.
"I gave us a second chance, and it was perfect, then the next thing I know, you stop wanting to go on dates, you barely want to hang out and barely interact with me or our entire friend group. Why? What happened?" She reiterated her question, wanting to know the truth behind what happened to Lincoln to cause him to change so much in such a short time.
"Stella, I..." Lincoln could not really think of what to say, he understood her perspective though, it was nonsensical behavior at best, nothing about it would be acceptable, the white-haired teenage couldn't deny how strange it came off, he never told Stella the truth about wanting to stop dating, it wasn't out of some desire to lead her on.
"Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong? I keep asking myself that..." Stella exclaimed, she had never been interested in dating until she agreed to give Lincoln a chance, their relationship failing in the end left her with nothing but endless questions.
Stella felt herself get pulled into a hug suddenly by Lincoln, without any warning, the bucktoothed teenager gently ran his hand along her back. "It's all my fault, Stella." Lincoln declared; he pulled away, keeping Stella at arm's length.
"You deserve an explanation, and I'll tell you what I can. Some of it isn't up to me to tell, not until the time is right." Lincoln began, having garnered her undivided focus on him. "I betrayed you; there were... Feelings, feelings I didn't even know I had for someone until something happened, it was before our first date even, I could barely live with myself or look you in the eye after it happened, that's why I was a mess at the party." He continued with his specific recounting of the details he felt he was allowed to share.
"I tried to ignore it and forget about it, I couldn't, and before I knew it, I got the news." Lincoln proceeded to lean forward, whispering something into her ear, Stella remained quiet as he spoke, the middle Loud sibling felt her reach up, forcing the white-haired teen to let go of her arms.
"I still want to be your friend, but I understand if you don't want to be mine, I don't deserve it after what I did to you." Lincoln expressed his desire to remain friends, though he knew no number of apologies would make their bond repair to that point, not without a miracle he imagined.
Lincoln thought the best thing he could offer in this situation was honesty. Stella took a deep breath, despite the overwhelming urge to hit him as hard as she could, she found herself stepping back and keeping her hands tangled together in order to stop herself.
"Being friends again, I don't know Lincoln, but... Thank you, for telling me the truth, and respecting me." Stella responded with her voice hitching on her words, Lincoln gave a slow nod in understanding, when silence began to resume control of the conversation, the white-haired boy turned and began to step away, he wanted to stay longer yet he had to get to Leni's to work, he assumed Stella would be happier out of his presence for the time being.
Once Lincoln was out of sight, Stella stepped around one of the cars, Clyde could be seen sitting behind one of the tires, the glasses wearing boy having been eavesdropping on the whole conversation.
"What do we do?" Clyde quirked, he had told Stella the truth about Lynn and Lincoln this morning, it was unintentional, a mere slip of the tongue in anger, one that Stella refused to let him back out of after the words left his lips.
"I still can't believe it..." Stella buried her face in her hands, hearing that Lincoln was dating Lynn, it made her feel sick just envisioning it, the worst part was that during that entire conversation, the only Loud boy had been nothing short of honest, heartfelt, and truthful in his words, that's what hurt Stella the most, to know how lovingly he regarded Lynn even when hiding her identity.
"Yeah, I can't either." Clyde nodded in agreement, the two were at an impasse, the two they had developed feelings for had dumped them to begin dating one another, that's what it seemed like from the bespectacled boy's perspective.
"Should we tell someone?" Clyde hesitantly asked, clearly tore on the idea, the teenage boy doubted that the Loud family even knew what was going on, he knew Lori would kill Lynn if she knew the truth.
The thing that stopped Clyde from informing anyone about the incestuous relationship, however, was because it was some of his best friends, he had been through thick and thin with Lincoln, whereas Lynn had fought on his behalf a couple of months back to protect him, he didn't know if he should mind his own business or not.
"Do you want to because it's wrong, or because you want payback?" Stella was not arguing against him, she would be remiss if she did not ask that though, Clyde wasn't the vengeful sort, he was in a sour funk, he did not respond initially, she saw him groan and hit the back of his head against the car he was sitting against.
"I don't even know anymore." Clyde huffed, not making eye contact with his tall friend.
"I can't do it. I'm as mad as you, but Lincoln told me he was going to be a dad." Stella announced what Lincoln had whispered to her, she was grateful that he told her the truth, even if only partly, remembering how happy he sounded though, it just hurt her more. Clyde was staring at her in wide-eyed horror at hearing that, he got off the ground and stood before her.
"That's why she quit playing sports..." Clyde muttered, now aware why Lynn had suddenly stopped playing everything all at once a few months back, the dots connecting themselves.
"I think it's disgusting; I want to throw up just imagining it, but I can't do it..." Stella proclaimed, Lincoln's best friends knew how volatile the Loud family could be at times, this would most likely tear their family apart if done, yet the thing that kept her from acting the most was her personal emotional barrier, the tall girl wanted to just be done with this, to move on with her life and pretend she never knew or saw anything, because all it did was make her hurt.
"I'm going home." Stella announced before turning on her heel and beginning to step away, she did not want to deal with this any longer, the tall girl left with her heart weighed down by Lincoln's words, and her mind burdened by the truth.
Clyde stayed there for a few minutes longer, wanting to mostly be alone to think, he was at a loss, the McBride boy could not deny the reality, he did want to see Lynn and Lincoln suffer out of a personal vendetta, though he kept asking himself if he could potentially ruin their entire family, even those not yet born, by exposing the truth.
Lynn currently was standing before the door to Luna's apartment, it took her a little time to find the right building, the number plates outside were rather decayed and old, this part of Royal Woods was completely alien to the pregnant Loud, she only ever passed through here at most, never stopping or hanging about longer than needed.
"This is so boring, why are we wasting our time here?" Lynn-Sanity asked while leaning on the wall by the door, Lynn shot the split personality a glare, even she couldn't hide that overwhelming desire to strangle the aggressive hallucination, the brunette could only take some solace in the fact Lynn-Sanity was far easier to deal with than Dismal.
"Preparing for the worst..." Lynn reluctantly replied, she brought her knuckle up and knocked several times on the door to the apartment, it took a moment, but the door eventually opened, revealing Luna standing there.
"Hey Lynn, you got here sooner than I expected you to dude." Luna greeted Lynn warmly, though the excitedness the rock loving Loud had at having a family member visiting her home again faded quickly when she took notice of Lynn's tired and demoralized demeanor.
Luna was surprised when Lynn gave her a hug, the sports loving girl not even trying to hide how much she missed her older sister. "Come on inside, Sam had to go to her folk's so it's just us here right now." The 3rd oldest Loud sister started, guiding her little sister inside before closing the door behind them both.
Luna's apartment had a tone to it that reminded Lynn a lot about the band's practice location, it was still lacking in a lot of furniture, it had the essentials, it was clear that Sam and Luna's personal belongings were what made up most of the wall décor.
Lynn was guided to taking a seat at the kitchen table, the dining room was combined with the kitchen, both felt awkwardly small, the 5th oldest Loud did notice the stovetop had a couple of scorch marks on two of the rings, it was obvious that was either Luna or Sam's doing, they both had an equal chance to light whatever they were cooking on fire, nobody knew how or why.
"The babies keeping you up at night? You look like you haven't slept." Luna asked her pregnant sibling, oblivious to just how accurate that claim was, the rock loving Loud was more than happy with the idea of being an aunt, she had even bought a few things for Lynn, though was implored by Sam to hold back on giving said gifts until a baby shower came about.
"That's because I didn't." Lynn rubbed her right eye, when she took her hand away, she saw Dismal Lynn standing nearby, looming in front of a window with the light shining through their hallucinatory form, as if the depressed split personality was forcing the girl with the ponytail to be aware of it's presence.
"How've you and Sam been?" Lynn tried to be formal, not wanting to dive headfirst into the deep end of the conversation, as if delaying it would make it any less awkward what she had come to request from her older sibling.
"Well, we got an offer from a company a month ago, apparently the music we played at the competition got recorded and put online, that's how they found us. They want to give us a shot so, we said yes." Luna announced rather proudly that her whole band had been able to take the next step in their career towards being rock stars.
"Seriously? That's incredible! Why didn't you tell anyone?" Lynn gawked in disbelief, this was incredibly news, yet seemingly it had been withheld from the rest of the Loud family, the rock loving Loud found herself looking embarrassed.
"We did, I told Lincoln... He's the one that's helpin' us with the contract negotiations when the time comes, I just asked the little dude to keep it under wraps, y'know, until we're sure if it'll actually happen or not." Luna replied, feeling like it would be an embarrassment if she announced the news, only for some last-minute interference to cause the contract to be cancelled.
"So, what's going on? You sounded pretty bad last night." Luna tried to focus the conversation on whatever it was that Lynn was here to discuss, it didn't take much to see it was clearly an important matter, the guitarist was slightly scared, this was reminding her of the time when Miss Lynn requested a personal one on one talk. The sporty Loud was silent, her gaze focused on Dismal Lynn once again, the depressed personality now taking the third seat at the table during the moments that the 5th oldest Loud sister had looked away.
"Are things with you and Lincoln not working out?" Luna tried to take a guess on the problem at hand, the guitar player had been kept up to date on how the relationship between the two had been going, primarily through Lynn, Lincoln always got flustered or too embarrassed to really go into in depth detail about it with his older sister.
"We ruined his life and are trapping him with children, nothing is working out." Dismal Lynn's voice rang out, the sporty Loud shaking the minor head pain off.
"Huh? No, we're great, he's really sweet, it's just..." Lynn found herself pausing, wanting to confess her issues right away, however she thought it might be best to leave the hallucinations out of the conversation right now.
"If something happens to me, would you be there to support Lincoln and my babies?" The 5th oldest Loud sister asked her question, Luna stared at her in confusion.
"What? Lynn, what are you talkin' about?" Luna requested clarification, wondering if there had been some terrible news related to the pregnancy that she was unaware of, someone as strong and healthy as Lynn shouldn't have any problems with twins.
"I'm scared, Luna... I don't know what'll happen to me in the future, but I want someone to be there to help Lincoln with the babies if he needs it, and you're the most motherly one I can think of." Lynn tried to elaborate without outright saying anything, it was already shocking to the 3rd oldest Loud sibling to hear the sports fanatic announce she was scared.
Luna did not know what to say, the guitarist knew their whole family would be more than happy to help Lincoln with the babies, but it was clear that Lynn was asking for someone that could best play the role of mother figure in her eyes, while at the same time requesting her older sister to act as a support for Lincoln, it was like the sporty Loud was expecting the absolute worst case scenario.
"If you can't get better, then that means we're going to a place far worse than just a psyche ward." Dismal Lynn's voice broke the silence, Lynn's eyes gazing to the right, seeing her depressive hallucination had their arm on the table now, with something in their right hand that was hidden out of view.
"We'll never be free, we'll never become the best sports player in Royal Woods, and worst of all, we'll never be able to raise our own children." Dismal Lynn continued, that was the moment that Lynn saw the depressed split personality slam a knife into its wrist, beginning to drag the blade up its arm, blood beginning to seep out from the ever-worsening wound and pouring onto the table.
"Lynn? Hello? Earth to Lynn!" Luna shouting made Lynn abruptly snap her vision back to her older sister, the sports loving girl was breathing harder now, unsure what she had just witnessed, yet nothing was there anymore, Dismal was sitting there looking unscathed once more. the 5th oldest Loud sister no longer had any plans to sleep tonight. "Are you okay dude?"
"Y-Yeah, sorry, I'm tired." Lynn apologized while holding her head, trying to regain her composure.
"You know I'll be there for you and Lincoln, no matter what, honest." Luna repeated what she had said but had gone unheard due to the hallucination's distraction. "Are you worried mom and dad found out? Or did something happen?" The guitarist tried to inquire further.
"No... Luan figured it out because I was careless, she doesn't seem to mind though." Lynn wearily sighed, still unsure if she should be relieved or not that Luan had agreed to keep quiet, Luna had a similar uncertain expression on her face.
"I just want some insurance for Lincoln and my babies, if mom or dad find out, I'm going to take the full fall for everything, so he at least has a chance at a normal life again." Lynn declared; it wasn't her best plan, and she knew Lincoln would be mad if he knew about what she was planning, the sporty Loud wanted him and their unborn children to be taken care of, no matter what.
"They won't, you don't need to worry about that sort of-" Luna tried to assure, only to be cut off.
"Will you promise me that you'll be there for them or not?" Lynn interrupted, looking crestfallen given the circumstances, yet clearly was in need of an answer.
"I... Yeah, Lynn. I promise to be there, for ALL of you though, no exceptions." Luna swore, though she promised to assist both Lincoln and Lynn, not just the white-haired boy the unborn twins.
"Heh, thanks Luna." Lynn had a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, that was when they heard a cell phone ringing from the other room.
"That might be important, sorry, I'll be back in a minute." Luna hopped out from her seat, Lynn-Sanity appearing there in her place as if it had been waiting boredly throughout this whole conversation. "Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge if you want." Luna added before heading down the hall to her and Sam's shared room.
"What're you scheming? You don't want insurance unless you think something bad might happen." Lynn-Sanity attempted to interrogate the real Lynn, the sports loving girl looking at Dismal again, the depressed split personality remained silent, like it was just toying with her, it reminded the sporty Loud of that fear Lisa had about certain split personalities getting stronger when the others were removed. Lynn cast a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure Luna was out of earshot.
"I'm making sure Lincoln won't be alone, if I can't get rid of you two by the time these two are born..." Lynn found herself pausing, taking in a breath. "I'll stop myself if I can't stop you, that's the best way I can put it." She continued speaking in a simple matter of fact manner, being intentionally vague, she was reaching the point where she had to protect her family, the aspiring sports star was being beaten to the end of her rope.
Lynn wanted to keep everyone safe, and she was beginning to accept the reality that there might be only one real option to do just that, as the sports loving girl stared down the two hallucinations sat at the table, the 5th oldest Loud had reached a decision, she was going to do whatever it took to get rid of the two split personalities, all she did for now was remain quiet, wanting to spend the rest of this time visiting Luna catching her older sister up to speed on everything that had been going on at home.