Date posted: 14th September 2021
Thanks to TC for betaing and beating up this giant robot!
And thanks to Panzer Hippo for the armour help!
Chapter 5: Felis et Equites
"So."
"So what?"
"You and her. Are you, you know?"
Kazuto slowed down the speed of a treadmill, switching from a light jog to a fast walk and popped out his right earbud onto the console. "Beloved sister of mine, why are you always interested in my love life."
It was eight in the morning in the Kirigaya Gym/Dojo. There were two floors in total, with the bottom floor being the dojo section while the top one being a more traditional gym. It wasn't the best or most equipped gym; the walls were unpainted, and they were lacking large mirrors owing to the fact it used to be an office and was in the process of renovation. Shino's regular gym was closed for the week for whatever reason. Kazuto invited her to his regular instead.
Besides Kazuto was Suguha, clad in her gi and hakama, leaning on the railing of the treadmill. Classes were a few hours away and she usually spent her time either doing office work, cleaning up or training herself. She had smartly leveraged her minor celebrity status as a national kendo champion to open up her own dojo, and had been running it for the past three years. She had the biggest smile plastered on her face.
"Because I care about my big brother," she smiled sweetly. "I still remember uh, who's that rich girl again."
"Asuna." The name alone brought back bad memories.
"Right, right. You dated for a year and that went nowhere. And now you're back on your feet and dating another girl. I always knew you were a go-getter!" she said, punching him on the shoulder. Their eyes turned at the only other customer in the corner of the gym.
In said corner, one Shino Asada had placed another weight plate. Her sleeveless hoodie showed off her toned arms as she lifted another weight onto the barbell and locked it in place. It was enough to make Kazuto bite his lip.
He did mental math in his head and came to a total of a hundred kilograms. She grabbed onto the barbell and like a complete pro, did her first rep of deadlifting flawlessly; perfect form, perfect technique. She continued to repeat this until she finished her first set, then wiped her brow. She didn't even look out of breath. Their eyes met and she smiled, waving at Kazuto. He waved back.
"I like her, she's tougher than your last girlfriend."
"Shino's not my girlfriend," he said, resolutely. "She's just a friend."
"Just friends, eh?"
"And my roommate!"
Suguha gasped and placed a hand over her mouth. "Oh my God. They were roommates."
"Dearest sister ... shut the hell up." Suguha laughed.
They chatted some more about more mundane things; work, rent, weather, family. Kazuto talked about his latest client while Suguha chatted about annoying helicopter parents who tried to dictate to her the 'superior' way of teaching, nevermind none of them had ever thrown a punch, much less knew how to use a shinai. Kazuto admired that about his sister; he would never have such patience.
The siblings stopped their chat when Shino came to them. "Hey, I need a spotter. Can you help?"
"Yeah sure, let me do a few more minutes."
Eyes glinting, Suguha grabbed onto Shino's arm. "While you do that, Asada-san, let's head to the fruit bar!"
Said 'fruit bar' was a simple kitchen counter with a fridge, a blender, and a cheap aluminium table. Despite the barebones appliances, Suguha brewed up a fantastic banana shake. "Thank you, I needed that."
"Wow, you even put the weights back in their proper racks!" she commented, as both women took a seat at the table.
"Of course, it's just proper etiquette."
She shot a mischievous smile. "So. You're roomies, with Kazuto."
"I am." Sinon gave her a look. "Before you say anything, I only consider Kaz a very good friend."
"Uuuh huuuhh." She slurped her own drink before continuing. "You know, it's been a year or so since I saw my brother with a girl. Actually, Kazuto doesn't have many friends in meat-space. It's usually online stuff with him."
Shino knew where the conversation was going and decided to steer it into another direction. "So, I hear you're a kendo champion, Suguha-kun. I saw the trophies."
"Please call me Sugu, like how you call my brother Kaz."
"Sure thing, Sugu. And I don't call him Kaz."
Suguha blinked. "You just did."
"You must have misheard, I said Kazuto."
"No no, you said Kaz."
"I like your brother, but we aren't that close."
Suguha leaned in, elbows on the table, cupping her face. "I don't know … two young adults living together under a roof?" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Sounds like the plot of a romance."
Shino snorted, but Suguha noticed the red in her cheeks. "Look, he isn't the first guy I'm roommates with. He's an okay guy. Spends too much money on swords -"
"And there's nothing wrong with that!" she said defensively, unwilling to admit that her own sword collection dwarfed her brother's.
Shino smiled. "Also, he complains too much about this game -"
Suguha cut in, perfectly mimicking her brother's tone, "It's been eight years, why can't we wear daggers on our person? Why do we need to pull them out of our UI?"
Shino replied, not perfectly but close, "I just don't understand why we don't have horse riding, it's a medieval fantasy game and there's no cavalry at all!"
"This green/orange criminal system is lame! It should have a more complex and in-depth one, complete with bounties and manhunts!"
"There's not enough chainmail sets in this game, what's with all this leather armour? Where's the scale? It's all plate!"
"I hate throwing picks, we need javelins! Where are the javelins? The second oldest weapons in the world, and they don't even exist!"
"I hate SAO!" both girls said simultaneously, before bursting into laughter.
Suguha laughed so hard, tears formed in her eyes. "Oh, you too? I'm sorry you have to suffer through that. Our mom was sick hearing of it, and when he moved out, she was quite happy about never having to listen to him again."
Shino almost choked on her fruitshake; the laughing was hurting her throat. "Hah, don't worry. Kazuto's a nice guy. He does his chores, he's always there when you need him. He's just … a really nice guy."
Memories resurfaced the other day. Though it had been a mere two weeks since the incident with the mugging, and despite her being drunk, she recalled the ride home and how warm he was. If she thought hard enough, she could even taste the cheesecake. It made her heart flutter at the thought.
Realising she had been quiet for a while and with a confused Suguha looking at her, she continued, "Anyway, he's been complaining less since he's been playing another game with me. Guy just needed another hobby."
The kendo sensei snapped her fingers. "Oh yeah! He mentioned something about that. Something about guns?"
Shino had to be careful with explaining GGO, it had a reputation online about being a sweaty game and she'd rather not scare people away from it. "Just your standard shooty bang-bang, it's pretty fun."
"I dunno, Shino-chan. Guns aren't just my thing, can I use a sword instead?"
"Oh my God, you are his sister."
Speak of the swordsman, there he was. "Hey, what were you two laughing about?"
The two women shared a coy look and Suguha smiled. "Oh nothing. Anyway, I need to do some office work before the students come in, try not to break anything," said Suguha.
"Cool, to the bench press, Shino?"
"Lead the way, Kaz." Dammit! She turned to Suguha and the sensei was holding in a laugh. Kazuto thankfully did not notice.
Shino stripped off her hoodie and laid down on the weight bench. Kazuto's eyes drifted to her exposed toned stomach as she stretched. He completely took back his words about her being small for her job; he had considered himself active and lean, but he had nothing on her. It was really a miracle that she didn't one-hit kill that mugger.
As they set up the weights, a respectable sixty-five kilos, Kazuto couldn't help but stare. He quickly snapped back to her and focused on the exercise. She was halfway through her set when he began some small talk, "So how's work?"
"You know, same old, same old. Been training some of the rookies, showing them the ropes. Boss expects more contracts by next year."
"Oh, that's nice." Then suddenly he said, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Her concentration broken, she almost dropped the barbell on her chest before being saved by Kazuto's quick hands. They pretended that didn't happen as she returned to her set. "W-why the sudden question?"
"I j-just you know …" His mind raced trying to find answers. "You're a very … accomplished woman. You must be hit on by a lot of guys!"
She did a single rep before answering, in control once again, "Nah, most of the guys at work are either dating or married. They've no interest in me anyway; they think I'm one of the boys. You? I think Suguha mentioned a girlfriend?"
"Ex-girlfriend, the past's the past, you know."
"Yeah."
More silence, as she completed her sets. Kazuto handed Shino her water bottle and tried his damndest -and failing- to not appreciate the sheen of sweat on her. She took a long gulp before saying, "I've never had a boyfriend."
"What? Really?"
She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "In the academy, I scared off my fellow officers. At work, most men dislike me. Then I joined my current company, and while I wouldn't trade them for the world, none of them are what I would call viable romantic partners." She shrugged. "Maybe I'm just not what guys like."
"No, that's wrong!" shouted Kazuto suddenly as he took a knee in front of her. "You're a good person, no, you're a great person. You've got a drive that most people don't have!"
She felt her face becoming warm and it wasn't because of the exercise. Kazuto continued, "When I was new to GGO, you were the one that helped me, a complete newbie who insisted on running into melee. You're nice to everyone! You give out ammo, you give advice, and you're always calm under fire!"
Shino's heart beat faster, her face was flushed, and her throat had suddenly become dry despite the bottle in her hand.
"And you're polite to everyone, and somehow, you're always patient with my dumb shit. You're the definition of cool, barring that one blow-up, of course." She cracked a smile at that.
His voice lowered and he held her hands in his, "What I'm saying is, you're a great gal. And any guy would be lucky to have you as your girlfriend."
Her heart grew twice the size that day. "Kaz … that's so sweet …"
Her hands cupped Kazuto's face. She looked into his dark brown eyes and found that he was quite handsome. Her heart was going into overdrive. Their foreheads joined as their faces came closer together …
"Hey, you two! I'm thinking of ordering sushi, wanna grab a bite to eat?" Suguha entered and found her customers had very red faces. "Is there anything wrong?"
"No!" they said simultaneously, refusing to look at each other.
The kendo sensei shrugged, "You okay with tempura?"
Half an hour and a shower later, Kazuto and Shino walked down the busy streets of Akihabara. They arrived at the parking area of Kazuto's bike. "You sure you don't wanna head home?"
"Nah, I got some errands to run around town."
"Okay then," he said, buckling on his helmet. Hanging from his seat was Shino's own helmet. He had bought it as a gift, found out it was the wrong size, and had yet to replace it. She appreciated the gesture nonetheless.
"You free next week?"
"Hmm, next week? I think so. After I finish my latest gig, I'll be mostly free. Why?"
Shino gave a vicious smile. "There's this new DLC for Gun Gale, it looks like it's going to be pretty big. Interested in some monster slaying, Sword Boy?"
Kazuto revved his bike and winked, before shutting the visor. "Always am, Sniper Girl."
There were forty players in modern Ratnik gear, in two twenties by the entrance of the exercise range. They were all standardised with the 6B46 vests, armed with a variety of Kalashnikovs, from AK-103s to PPK-20s to Saiga-12s, customised individually for maximum performance. Their faces were covered with balaclavas, and every man and woman stood spear straight, with the utmost seriousness that was foreign to even a hardcore game like GGO. Their gear was top of line for level ranges between 30-40, and woe betide to anyone that got in their way.
It was Friday evening, the players had returned from a long day of work or school. They would take out their stress with the liberal expenditure of automatic fire.
Sergeant Gregory and Commissar Tadao were running a friendly competition of who had the best team. One shopping wing had been turned into a proper training range with a maze made of scrap metal or drywall, proper doors, holographic enemies and hostages. There was no prize on who the best team was, there was no need. Competitiveness was its own reward.
"It's not the full fifty, but it'll do," said Major Chie Nikita, a cup of steaming hot tea in hand.
The silver haired officer studied the live exercise from the second floor. The observation room she was staying in was also a laboratory where scientists and engineers decode and studied the technology left by humanity's forebears.
In gameplay terms, it was a surprisingly complex set of mechanics where players needed to grind repetitive tasks by disassembling and reassembling machines: radios, computers, vehicles and guns. The sheer detail and accuracy of the mechanics intrigued many players, and it wasn't uncommon to find people who played the game to tinker on tech and completely ignore the Gun part of Gun Gale. The closest equivalent was Motor City Online, a VR game about racing; but that game lacked the military hardware that GGO possessed.
"Tadao-san's doing well," said Kirito.
The Tornado was leading his team, dual wielding his Ruger Vaqueros with deadly accuracy. Each pull of the trigger sent a heavy .357 round towards the enemy, in this case, a mutant bandit holding an innocent puppy hostage. His STR investment must have been high to shoot those hand cannons one-handed (and to his surprise, the thing was single-action!). He was always taking point, even when his underling's weapons were better suited to the task. He must have had «Adamantium Wrists» (the highest rank of the Wrists perkline, starting from Iron, to Steel, to Plasteel, and finally, Adamantium). Kirito himself had «Steel Wrists».
A high investment for a roleplay build, absolutely not optimal. But he tried to hack people to death with a sword, so who was Kirito to judge?
Nearby, a fireteam was breaching a room, and in the hallway, a hologram bandit had nicked a pointman in the chest with a snub revolver, only to be gunned down in vengeance.
"Don't be so sure," said Nikita. On the other side of the range, Sergeant Gregory was leading his team, using his fearsome AA-12 to blow hinges off the door, his men charging in with Saigas and suppressed PPKs.
"You see, the commissar's quick and zealous, he leads with inspiration, even if it means some casualties. He's got the charisma that'll make men die for him." As if to punctuate her point, a trio of bandits rounded the corner and almost knocked off the commissar's beret; his men took this as a huge offense and returned fire.
"But the sergeant is slow, methodical, and none of his men has been shot." As she said this, a Zakon soldier threw a flashback around a corner, disorienting their holographic foes before being destroyed by overwhelming force.
"Hmm." Kirito recalled the sergeant being angry at ruining his squad's no death streak. "And this is but one company?"
"We have six in total," said the major, sipping her tea. "Spread out all over the game world. We're a couple thousand strong. There are members of our guild throwing bolts at anomalies far east, or waging war against sea monsters in the Dead Sea. Currently our Marshal, that's our guild leader, is butting heads in Iraq with the Mobile Guard's elite. We're not as big as Ashigaru Corp or the Dragon Alliance but we can throw a punch."
It had been a few days since his 'conscription' into the guild. Kirito unlocked his PDA willingly and discovered from the terminal he hacked that it had possessed very valuable info. He understood then why that was.
"Remember the photo in the office?" Shino told him.
"Somewhat?"
"The man in the photo. It was Doctor Asclepius!"
"No way! That must mean he's centuries old! Perhaps it's his ancestor?"
"Or cryogenics."
"Oh right, sci-fi. Forgot about that."
Despite that, they also discovered that Sinon's cure was far from their grasp, much to her dismay. Currently, she was strapped with all sorts of doodads and whatchamacallits, as if a bunch of children had found a trunk of scrap and did their best to turn the cat into a cyborg.
"Alright, Sinon-san, do you feel anything?" asked the man in the lab coat.
"Nya," she said, as a funky looking helmet with bulbs flashed red and blue, indicating …. something. Kirito wasn't sure how exactly scientific experimentation worked in GGO, and he refused to learn any. Explaining to clients why their programs weren't working was hard enough, thank you very much.
"She says she doesn't feel anything," said Kirito.
Sitting in the office chair was one Vladimir Boris Yuri Ivan Dragovich, a "scientist" currently checking his clipboard, going "hmm" and "aah" at his current patient/experiment. Coincidentally, he was the guy Sinon was going to go to with the info. Currently the cat was unamused. Vladimir had explained how his build worked, but all the technical mumbo jumbo completely flew over his head. On his desk was a mug of coffee that said, "I (HEART SYMBOL) THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD."
Imagine every single scientist in any movie, that's how Vlad looked like. Completely unassuming, and resembled more an NPC than the average player who bedecked themselves in tacticool swaggery.
Sinon meowed again, and Kirito translated, "She says, "Vlad, I'm sick of your crap, hurry up."" Though Kirito smartly removed the profanity from her speech.
Vladimir tsk tsk and wagged a finger. "Now now, Sinon-san, we know science takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day."
In return, her jaws clenched onto the scientist's finger. He was not perturbed whatsoever at this. "You know, I always took you for a professional, not … whatever this is. You're the woman I turn to when I need a job done. Perhaps turning a cat has changed your personality somewhat?"
"Not really, doc. She's always like that."
"Nyergh."
"Hmm, fascinating." Vladimir adjusted his glasses.
"Give us the summary, Vladimir. We only have so much time," said the major.
Vladimir placed his hand to his chin in deep thought, the angry blue fuzzball still attached. "Well, to make things short, basically to create a serum we need the same chemical that turned our sniper friend here into her feline form."
Kirito's stomach churned. "So, if we want Sinon to turn into normal, we have to bring the fight to the Doctor?"
"I'm afraid so. You mentioned a syringe gun, I wager that's your key to turning your friend back to normal. But wait there's more!" He tapped on Kirito's PDA. "The PDA has codes and formulas related to the mutants that the DLC's been pumping out. Formulas to make serums, weapons …"
"And that's why you wanted my PDA," said Kirito. Major Nikita's red eyes shone with amusement. "Am I getting a finder's fee for that?"
"Do you want to return to the ball pit?"
"Point taken."
"Nyergh!"
"I'll run some more tests and ring you when I'm done."
Nikita's own PDA beeped. "Ah, they're almost finished with the range. Come, let's see how our two teams are doing."
Tadao had reached the center of the range and had lost three out of his twenty men. He was giving some sort of heroic speech and the lady players (plus some of the men) swooned at his rhetoric. On the other side, Gregory's squad was three quarters way through and was engaged in a serious fight with a holographic Rambo look-alike. Nikita tapped on her PDA and, in the middle of the room where the main objective was, a meter tall, heavy duty biped robot called an «Iron Cog» with two machine guns as its arms awaited alongside numerous menhirs spawned in. And they didn't look like holograms.
"I thought this was supposed to be a basic search and destroy exercise," said Kirito.
"Always expect the unexpected."
The commissar kicked the double doors open, seemed very surprise at the murderbots in the middle of the room, looked upwards to Nikita, and yelled, "MAJOR, THIS WASN'T PART OF THE P-"
The Cog's double MG3's roared to life and the top half of the commissar simply evaporated in a spray of blood, meat and bone; his dual revolvers clattered onto the floor followed soon by his red beret. The hail of fire killed two more Zakon soldiers as the rest of the fireteam dove for cover. Everyone in the range was made well aware that they were no longer fighting harmless holograms. Screams of panic came pouring forth through the radios.
The major's own radio came to life. "DAMMIT MAJOR! YOU PROMISED NOT TO DO THAT AGAIN!"
She brought the handheld up. "Negative, sergeant. I promised not to sic live «Ghul Scavengers» into the barracks, I didn't say anything about robots."
"THEY GOT THE MEDIC! FU-" the radio cut off, and the remaining Zakon soldiers fought for dear life, the mechanical professionalism of the fireteams halted abruptly, like a car slamming into a tree.
"You are a very harsh woman," said Kirito.
"To be the best guild, they must be prepared to expect the unexpected and react accordingly. Ashigaru Corp prioritises quantity over quality, sending squad after squad into dungeons before they can respawn mobs. The Mobile Guard would prefer destroying an entire building and hope the treasure survives. But the Zakon I Dolg, we are old school. We do it the right way."
Down below, after getting over the initial shock, the two fireteams began to work together. The surviving squad leaders of Tadao's men directed their team to focus fire on the menhirs while Sergeant Gregory and his side shotgunners unleashed 12 gauge hell, his massive drum magazine pouring hot lead into the Iron Cog. The practice range transformed from a tense exercise to a small warzone. Nikita tapped another her PDA again, as turrets emerged from the floor, cutting down a couple of the submachine gunners.
Kirito felt a presence beside him, smelling of gunk from the cloning vat. "You know, major. This is going to cut into our treasury. It's not like we have a lot."
"A small price to pay for experienced players, commissar."
Tadao shrugged. He was dressed in basic fatigues, a telnyashka visible under his shirt. He was missing his gloves and scarf, and had put on a spare beret. His holsters were empty of any guns yet he had his bowie knife clipped; knives were one the few things that did not need to be retrieved after death. "Kirito-san, why don't you go help old Gregory down there, he looks like he needs help."
"I'd rather not. None of your vats are biotuned to me and you did destroy my bike." He and Sinon's last spawn point was still the inn from before. "It was a -"
"Yes, yes, it was a rental. Tell you what, I'll pay you back, out of my own pocket, if you jump down there and help the team."
Kirito blinked. "You want me to do what?"
"Nya?" said Sinon from the desk.
He rasped his knuckles on Kirito's sword. "Go down there, do your fancy sword thingy. If you somehow don't die, I'll pay for your rental. And I'll loan you my own ride."
"Let me think about it: no."
"Ah. I see." He tapped a finger on his chiseled jaw. "You're still angry I beat you in a fair duel."
"No, I'm not." Yes, he was.
"Maybe if you put points into a proper Rifleman build, you'd have beaten me. Melee just isn't viable."
"S-shut up! I'm gonna make it work!" he said through clenched teeth.
Tadao extended a hand towards the firefight below. "By all means, prove me wrong."
The gears turned in Kirito's head, logic was fighting a battle against pride and losing. Sinon protested, "Kirito, don't leave me here with this weirdo! STOP POKING ME, VLAD! I'LL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT!"
He looked down on himself. His flak, rifle and machine pistol were currently being repaired yet his sword was fine. "I'll need a gun."
Both men turned to the major. Nikita sighed and handed him her Grach, grip first. "Try not to die, I'd rather not have someone pick you up."
Pistol and sword in hand, and a mad smile on his lips, Kirito turned to Sinon, and winked at her. before taking a running start and launching himself on the rail.
Two thoughts crossed her mind: one, her anger at his stupid, stupid, obession of melee combat. Second, how he looked so damn cool while doing it.
"Never change, Sword Boy."
Tadao just died. Many of them were wounded, a few were already dead. The situation was, by all accounts, pretty bad.
The submachine guns were of little use against the Iron Cog, and the rifles were running out of ammo. They were expecting holograms, maybe some sort of crazy terrorist threatening to blow himself up alongside the terrorists. Major Nikita always pushed her men hard; considering the stories about her, Gregory really should have expected it. The woman was the very definition of do or die, sink or swim, and git gud, combined into one. It made her company, save for the most elite of the guild, the best of the best.
And they were really damn good, Gregory thought to himself. His HUD indicated six had been outright killed, even with the commissar's zealotry that was pretty low. If this was any other guild, they would have lost half their numbers already.
Gregory ejected his drum magazine as it clanked noisily onto the floor. The Iron Cog was just standing there, taking the rifle rounds like a champ. The robot's machine guns had not stopped firing. The CPU core was nestled deep inside of the shell. A solid strike from an RPG could kill it, not that anyone brought one; such machines were designed to be nimbler and more compact than conventional heavy armour, which made them halfway between IFVs and tanks, making them the preferred heavy armour inside dungeons.
He slapped in an eight-round mag filled with slugs, the Bad Spot Mag he called it. The rounds were custom-ordered and could blow a fist sized hole in even the toughest of robots. Steeling himself, he shouted, voice clear and in the haze of smoke and the thunder of gunfire. "Men and women of the guild! For Order!"
"And Duty!" the players around him answered. He was going to run up to the machine and unload every single slug into its core. It would undoubtedly ruin his one hundred plus days no death run, but it was a small price to pay.
He swung out of cover from one of the few concrete pillars and began to run, only to stop as a shadow dropped onto the Iron Cog.
Kirito scrambled to find grip on the rectangular top of the machine. Sensing the intruder, the menhirs turned their attention to it, and completely exposed, all he could do was make himself as small of a target as he could.
Sensing the distraction, Sergeant Gregory ordered his men to focus on the menhirs instead. The Zakon soldiers took their shots at the Death Roombas, as the big machine did its best to throw the offending thing off it all the while continuing its spray of MG fire. Kirito found the panel where the machine's core was situated, bolted on tight. He unloaded all the rounds into the panel, denting and weakening the panel.
Suddenly, the Cog's gun arm turned upwards, the MG hanging upside down, barrel pointing right at its face.
Instinctively, backed with years of kendo practice, he swung his sword upwards, the heavy plasteel blade cutting through the solid steel like bone. The servos of the machine whirred and died, sensing how unwise it would be to fire the weapon without a barrel.
Delighted at his success, the second gun arm came as a total surprise. He was out of reach.
Before the gun could end him, the weapon itself bent and fell off. Below, he spotted the sergeant aiming his shotgun at the machine, taking advantage of the gun's rotated position and shooting an exposed weak spot. Gregory gave Kirito the slightest of nods which he returned.
Yet the Iron Cog was still a menace. Realising its armaments were completely useless, the programming switched from turret to bull, as it picked up speed to crush the players with its sheer weight. It smacked into a female player, splattering her into the concrete wall. More gunfire streamed from the Zakon soldiers, some coming close enough to give him a haircut. "Hey, watch it!"
Standing as well as he could and balancing himself atop the machine, Kirito grabbed his arming sword in both hands and slammed downwards with all the weight of his body. Again, and again, and again, until the blade buried itself to the hilt, and destroyed the CPU core. The Iron Cog staggered like a drunk, teetered side to side, before collapsing, throwing the swordsman to the ground alongside him.
The practice range came to a complete silence. Kirito looked up, to see Gregory's gloved hand. He took it.
In everyone's HUD, the verdict came in: ten dead, twelve wounded. The major's voice came from above:
"That was an utter disgrace!" she said. "You think you'll be good enough for the new DLC enemies! We'll do it again, until we can perfect it without a single casualty! I will break you down and mold you into perfect killing machines! Do I make myself clear?"
Kirito expected anger and cursing, but every single Zakon soldier snapped to attention and said in unison, "Sir, yes sir!"
Everyone trailed out of the range and Kirito returned to the second floor. Sinon awaited alongside the major and the commissar. "You know, when I said "jump down there", I didn't expect for you to actually leapt off like that," said Tadao.
"I was trying to do a «Plunging Attack»." He tapped on his sword, still in great condition. "The Kirito Formula of Swordsmanship holds up."
The major turned to the cat. "Is he always like this?"
Sinon nodded solemnly. "Nya."
The rest of the day continued as the players did the drill over and over again. It took until the afternoon, but when they were done with their seventh try, they had been able to complete the course with no casualties. Kirito spent the time watching or checking up on his own gear; he had enough combat for the day. Vladimir himself was making new experimental ammo types for the company, being not only a scientist but a competent ammosmith as well.
As promised by the major, he was able to pick up a new gun from the armoury. With Sinon's advice, he replaced his low level TMP with a more current level CZ Scorpion Evo 3. It was a big and chunky thing, but the armourer was able to trim it down to size with lightweight materials, bumping it down to 1.5 kg from 2.77 kg. Kirito upped his STR to compensate.
As he was done with the modifications, and with Vladimir's experiments, the forty men strong company were marching down the parking lot, hauling ammo, weapons, and Vladimir's makeshift lab into trucks.
"Tell you what, we'll meet you in a while. You go on and scout ahead," said Nikita. "We'll need to pack all the things we need for the trip and head out in an hour or so."
"That sounds good, it'll be good to restock on supplies back at SBC Glocken."
Kirito caught a pair of keys from Tadao. "Good luck out there, swordsman. Treat Lyubimaya 1.0 right. I say you've earned her."
"I suppose there's a Lyubimaya 2.0?" In return, the commissar merely winked.
"Come on, Sinonon. Back on the road." The blue cat wagged her tail as she followed him.
When Kirito came to the parking lot of the mall back in full gear, his ride arrived at the entrance. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. "Really? Really?"
Lyubimaya turned her red eyes towards him as gas vented out of her nostrils, mechanical servos purring. "Neigh," she said.
The trip back home was much smoother than the trip to the dungeon, barring Kirito's unfamiliarity with the cyber steed. It took a few tries with the reins, but after a few minutes of trial and error, he believed he figured out how it worked (after looking up the in-game manual of course).
Sinon sat in his lap as the mechanical steed galloped at an impressive one hundred kmph, far beyond what any flesh and blood horse could achieve. Lyubimaya's steel hooves made satisfying clopping noises as it raced down the highways of the old world. The sun was still high in the sky and he was a clear target for any bandit player or NPC raider.
Yet, for whatever reason, there were no dangers on the road. No ambuscades on the highway (he was being very careful with suspiciously placed cars now), no dust clouds on hills of roving bedouins, no bored camping snipers. Just him, the road, and a particularly fluffy cat in his lap.
"So how hard is it compared to driving a bike?" Sinon asked.
"Well it's a lot bumpier for one." The horse went up and down, and it was burning up his crotch all fierce-like, but he reckoned he would be fine at the end of the day. "Man, if only horses were in-"
Kirito stopped himself. "Sorry, I'll stop."
"It's fine."
Kirito looked down at her. "Excuse me?"
"If you wanna complain about SAO, it's fine."
Kirito looked at Sinon as if she grew two heads, which, by the fact she had turned into a cat and the whole theme of mutants in the DLC, wasn't actually all that improbable of a chance.
"I can stop."
"No, no, go ahead. You're helping me with all this running and questing, I don't really mind."
Kirito was now flushed. Great. The opposite of what she wanted to happen. Now he was going to apologise and the whole ride will be awkward. She decided to nip the problem in the bud, "Remind me, what was that you said about corridor crystals the other day."
"Oh man!" He slapped Lyubimaya on her steel neck. "So, get this, there's this consumable that basically skips an entire dungeon straight to the boss room."
"Sounds handy."
"It is, but that's not the point. It was first used by this player called Heathcliff. See, he was the top dog of SAO's best guild called the Knights of the Blood Oath -"
"What's the blood oath?"
"That doesn't matter, but in short, he used this crystal to basically quickly skip dungeons, be the first person to kill the boss, get the materials, that sort of thing. Problem is, no one knew where Heathcliff got it! The top info brokers scoured for it, the wiki page gets constantly updated by false rumours, and not even data miners could find anything."
Sinon yawned; one thing she liked about her feline form is how wide her mouth could open. Sometimes she would try to yawn as widely as she could in real life, but alas her jaws could not open so widely. "Mysterious."
"And get this!" Kirito hunched over, his face looming over her small one, large purple eyes staring into her.
"Heathcliff was Akihiko Kayaba all along."
"What."
"You heard me."
"Wait what."
"Akihiko. Kayaba. Was a PC. In his own freaking game, and used his developer privileges to become the top player in the game!"
No longer was Sinon pretending to care, she cared now. "What the hell?! That's bullshit!"
"Exactly! That was four months ago! It was literally in the news!"
Her brain continued to process this information, and she wondered if it was taking a while because cats had smaller brains than humans (unlikely as that was).
"Wait, you started playing four months ago."
"Bingo. The day I found out about Kayaba's crap was the day I deleted SAO. The forums were in full revolt, it was ugly. I don't even know why I chose GGO, I just wanted something that was the opposite of SAO."
His left hand scratched her chin, subconscious even. "But hey, at least I met you. So you know, everything worked out in the end."
Sinon rolled her eyes. "Charmer."
The rest of the journey continued in comfortable silence as Sinon subconsciously purred and snuggled into Kirito.
They arrived at the outskirts of Glocken around eight pm. Fortifications and walls surrounded the great battleship in a eight kilometer radius, high gun towers and searchlights were activated. They reached the southern gate where traffic, previously light, was now heavy with players streaming into the DLC area. There was something off in the air.
"There's more people," said Kirito.
"A lot more."
The duo rode up the streets as thousands of players and NPCs were amassing. A battalion of bikes, humvees, APCs and tanks were thundering down south to the Republic of Mutantopia, which itself was located in the area of Corinth, Greece. A mere six hour drive from the city and a massive threat to the Overlords of Glocken. A stream of trucks followed suit, and above were both combat and cargo choppers. What was going on?
Kirito guided Lyubimaya 1.0, taking shortcuts off-road towards the Perimeter Market where merchants were making a killing selling surplus equipment. He stabled the cyber-steed at a parking spot as he made his way to the nearest quest station.
He entered the prefab station, where gruff looking NPC officers were handing out orders and quests, and bumped into a familiar face. "Titanium Wall?"
The Wall was more or less unchanged from the last time they met, save that he was sporting a few new toys on him including a specced-up M1 Garand and a Tommy gun with a drum mag. "HO, SWORDSMAN! IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! AND YOU TOO, FLUFFY SNIPER!"
"Nya."
Kirito gestured to the mayhem swirling around them. "What's going on? Why are there so many players?"
"IT IS THE WEEKEND, THE BLOODIEST TWO DAYS OF THE WEEK!"
"Okay, other than that!"
"THE ENEMY MUTANTS … THEY ARE BECOMING EVEN STRONGER! THEY HAVE CRUSHED GENERAL HAVOC'S LINE AND ARE COMING TOWARDS US! THE BATTLEFIELD IS LITTERED WITH THE CORPSES OF US VATBORN!"
"Dear God," said Kirito. Sinon herself was perturbed, this had never happened before.
"I KNOW! IT'S GREAT FUN! THIS IS A REALLY GOOD DLC, DIDN'T REGRET PAYING IT FULL PRICE ON LAUNCH!"
Sinon sniffed him. "He just got out of the vat."
"So I reckoned you just popped up out of cloning bays?"
Titanium Wall thumbed behind him where some two dozen vats were lined up on a flatbed, a portable cloning station that was often rolled out when shit really hit the fan. The bodies of players were being reformed at a fast pace. "BIO-TUNING HAS GOTTEN EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE! DAMN VULTURES! WITH THE FRONTLINE DESTROYED, THEY'RE SETTING ANOTHER LINE AT THE PORT CITY OF VOLOS. SHIPS ARE EVEN BEING COMMANDEERED FOR THE NEW OFFENSIVE."
Sinon growled. "I just want my body back, is that so hard!"
"I'm just surprised they got past the first line's defences. Havoc has a small NPC army to guard it last time I checked."
"THAT'S THE THING! DOCTOR WHATS-HIS-FACE HAS DEPLOYED A NEW TYPE OF MUTANT. TRANSHUMAN WARRIORS, BEDECKED IN POWER ARMOUR, WIELDING CHAIN WEAPONS AND EXPLOSIVE MACHINE GUNS!"
"No, that can't be it …"
The GI nodded. "THEY'VE FIGURED A WAY TO PRODUCE MORE THUNDER FIGHTERS."
"Oh no!" said Kirito. "Wait, who?"
"AH WAIT, I FORGOT YOU WEREN'T THERE. YOU KNOW, THE BOSS' PET MONSTER."
"Ah, gotcha." Kirito scratched his chin. "Now, this is getting interesting."
"AS FOR ME, I'M GOING TO THROW MYSELF AGAINST THOSE SONS-O-BITCHES TILL THEY'RE ALL DEAD! SHAME ABOUT CHAD, WE COULDA REALLY USE HIM HERE."
Kirito's handheld radio buzzed to life. "Report. How's the situation?"
"It's bad, Nikita, the whole-"
"Major. Nikita."
"Er, I mean, real bad, major." He explained the situation to her.
"I've got a better idea. Come meet us, I'll send you the coordinates."
"LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE FRIENDS, CAN I JOIN?" asked the Wall.
"Sure, why not? The more the merrier."
"HOOAH!"
GREETINGS, READERS OF SINONON. IT IS I, TITANIUM WALL, BUT YOU MAY CALL ME THE WALL.
IT IS OF GREAT IMPORTANCE THAT YOU (YES YOU) LEAVE A REVIEW! FOR MUCH LIKE A GUN NEEDS AMMUNITION, OR WARMACHINES NEED FUEL, SO DOES A WRITER NEED CRITICISM TO IMPROVE! ASK YOURSELF NOT WHAT YOUR WRITER CAN DO FOR YOU, BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR WRITER! CAN YOU DO THAT FOR OL' UNCLE WALL?
AND IF YOU CAN'T DO THAT - THEN DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME FIFTY!
CAN THE VATBORN SOLDIERS DEFEAT THE MUTANT THREAT? WILL SWORD BOY AND SNIPER GIRL FINALLY GET TOGETHER? WILL I EVER STOP SPEAKING IN ALL-CAPS? JOIN US NEXT TIME, IN OUR WAR AGAINST THE MUTANT MENACE! SEMPER FI!